Jessica spent a weekend being useless. She knew she needed to study because midterms were always lurking around the corner but she couldn't get herself to leave her room no matter how she stressed about failing her classes. Bonnie and Kira tried to be there for her. They kept her fed by forcing her to go to the Dining Hall and they tried to distract her as much as they could.

She was grateful that she had such good friends that cared for her but it was hard to be around them when she knew they were both with the boys that loved them. She couldn't see either Scott or Stiles ever abandoning them. Scott and Bonnie were actual soul mates that had only ever loved each other. She couldn't help but bemoan how unfair it was that her friends had found their person and she lost hers because…

Because he didn't want her. Edward would frame it a hundred different ways but he didn't want her enough to have her around forever or even for her short human life. He would be there if he did. He would've stayed no matter what.

Stiles showed up that Sunday. It was a rare sight to see him without Kira or Scott. In his Stanford hoodie, he looked like any other student there. It made it easy to forget what he really was.

He entered the room, keeping the door open behind him. "Hey, Jess. You busy?"

She sat up. All she'd been doing was crying or staring at the ceiling. Her eyes were so tired she just wanted to take a nap. She hadn't showered and she felt disgusting.

She said, "Bonnie's not here."

"I'm not here for Bonnie." He smiled encouragingly. "I heard about what happened. Secrets are kind of hard to keep in this group especially when you have a magical lie detector."

She turned away, not wanting him to see her face. "I'm fine."

"Uh, Jess." She turned back and he pointed at himself and reminded her, "Magical lie detector, remember? You can't fib with me."

She sighed deeply and covered her face with her hands. "I'm just tired, okay?"

"I know." He moved closer to her and held out his hand. "Come with me? I have something to show you."

She looked at his outstretched hand warily. He cajoled, "I can't lie either. I promise it's nothing bad."

She took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. They left the dorms and got into his jeep. He drove them to the woods where they met up once a month for Scott's moonlit shifts. He led them deeper into the woods until they came across a large oak tree.

"You brought me here to show me a tree?" she asked.

Stiles smiled. "I love trees. It's a fae thing. My favorite tree back home looks a lot like this one." He walked closer to the tree and touched the trunk with a hand. "Ever since I was little, I would go to that tree and tell it all my secrets. Trees are very good listeners. I visited my tree the most during my Senior Year."

He paused before continuing, "Did you know I loved somebody before Kira?"

She was shocked. She hadn't heard anything from their friends. She had thought he and Kira were soul mates that were each other's first loves and the universe had just easily brought them together.

"I didn't know," she replied. "Who were they?"

"Her name was Caroline Forbes. I met her in kindergarten. You see while Scott and Bonnie were having their moment with the crayons, I thought I was having my own when I saw Caroline for the first time. She was the prettiest girl in our class. Blonde hair, big blue eyes…I was a goner."

"And?"

"And she was in love with Scott."

Her eyes widened. "No!"

Stiles nodded, chagrined. "Yep. It was very complicated for a while because anyone who's ever been around Scott and Bonnie know that there's no getting in between that. Caroline never really had a chance and she never really saw me that way no matter how hard I tried."

She remembered something when Stiles told her about the Volturi. "You told me before that she was turned into a vampire."

"Right before our Senior Year, she ran into a vampire one night. Wrong place, wrong time," he explained. "The Strix have strict laws about turning well-known people in the city and Caroline was the daughter of the Police Chief and the Mayor. She either had to leave or she would be executed."

"That's horrible."

"The night she left we went to say goodbye to her and she couldn't be near me because my blood was testing her control. She was a newborn and she couldn't handle her thirst that well yet. She left and I haven't seen her since."

She felt a wave of sympathy for Stiles. He looked forlorn as he remembered the events. It hadn't been that long since all of that happened. His grief over losing somebody he loved still weighed on him.

"Do you miss her?"

"Yes, but it's different now."

"How?"

"I used to wonder about what we could've been if she hadn't been turned or if we were just two ordinary, boring humans. Not exciting about us at all. All those lives we could've lived." He closed his eyes, exhaling. "And I think a part of me will always love her. Maybe just not in the way I had before."

"And what about Kira?"

"Kira moved to New Orleans in the second grade. She was sweet, shy, a little clumsy." He chuckled. "She was in love with me and she used to follow me around in her fox form. I didn't know it was her. I didn't see her because I was too busy looking at Caroline."

He opened his eyes as he said, "Caroline was gone and suddenly I saw her, Kira, my Kira. And I felt so stupid for not seeing her sooner when all this time she was what I had been looking for even when I had been so blind."

"I love Kira with my entire being. I could never see myself with anyone else," he declared. "And I can finally love Caroline like a friend."

Jessica bowed her head as she said, "I don't know how to let go of Edward. I know feeling this misery is going to destroy me but I don't know how to make it stop. I've never loved anyone like I love him and it really fucking hurts."

"I know." He moved closer to her and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "But believe me, you can get through this. You'll survive. You might even find love again."

"I don't know if I even have it in me…"

"I didn't think I did either but life surprises you." He smiled. "Just keep going, Jess. You're not alone."

"What if I move on and he comes back?"

"Then you'll make a decision when that comes but in the meantime, you have to live for yourself."

She told him about the fight with Edward and how she felt about him not wanting to spend eternity with her. Stiles looked more sympathetic and he sighed and told her, "I understand where he's coming from. Fae are immortal. Even harder to kill than vampires and it's hard knowing you have to watch someone you love age and die while you stay the same."

He dropped his hands and he looked thoughtful as he enumerated, "Werewolves don't live long, all those transformations take its toll. I'll get fifty years with Scott at the most. Witches live longer so I could get a hundred years with Bonnie. And kitsunes can live up to two thousand years so I'll have Kira for that long."

"And after?"

He looked into her eyes, his expression haunted, aged beyond his youth. "I'll be alone. Granted, I'll meet more people. But I will only have my memories of those that have gone."

She smiled and remarked, "You'll have seventy years with me."

A heartbeat for an immortal. Like fireflies that lived for one night. Her seventy years must be like a grain of sand in his hands. She had wondered before what was time for an immortal?

"Seventy years I will always remember," Stiles replied. "No matter how much time passes I will remember."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And if Edward ever stops being an idiot, he will come back to you because he wouldn't want to waste another minute of that time."

"I'm just a heartbeat in time-"

He cut her off. "You have anatomy classes, Jess. You've studied the human heart and you should know that every heartbeat counts."

She raised a hand and rested it above her heart, feeling the persistent beat underneath her fingers. "Every heartbeat counts."

"Every single one," Stiles concluded. "From here to eternity."

She continued to feel her own heartbeat, likening it to the ticking of a clock.


Jessica went through the motions. She went to classes, studied, and filled the in between with spending time with her friends. She spent a Saturday learning lacrosse from Stiles and Scott and learned she was terrible at it. She started learning Japanese from Kira and helped Bonnie collect herbs for her potions.

There were days she felt so overwhelmed with despair she just wanted to crawl up and die. She would cry in the girl's bathroom in between classes. She would eat nothing but ice cream the whole day. None of her friends could make her laugh.

And some days she was getting days where she almost felt normal. Those were the good days where she smiled more and she wouldn't even think about Edward for hours. She could pretend he was something she made up, a figment of her imagination that had no power to hurt her. She wished she had good days all the time.

She was with Riley on a good day. They were studying in the library and she made her laugh so loud at a joke he made that they got kicked out. Packing up their things, they giggled like bandits as they left and made their way back to FloMo. The night air was cold and they watched the stars in the sky enjoying how peaceful the world was in that moment.

Riley turned to her, smiling and said, "You look happier."

She turned to him in surprise. She hadn't told him about Edward. She didn't know if their friends had said anything and Riley hadn't pried. She didn't think he even noticed something different with her.

"I could tell something was going on with you but I didn't want to push it," he continued. "I was hoping you would tell me when you were ready or if you wanted to."

"Edward and I broke up." The words had a slight bitterness to them but not as devastating as they had been a few weeks before. "I don't know if we'll ever get back together or if he'll ever come back."

His brown eyes were kind as he asked, "Do you want him to come back?"

The answer would be 'yes'. She loved him despite everything but she was also wary. She had seen how much power he had over her. How easily he could've broken her and letting him back in would ensure him that he was assured forgiveness for anything.

If she forgave him this, what else could she forgive?

She could only be honest with Riley. "I don't know."

Riley nodded as if expecting that. She was reminded that he'd had his heart broken not too long ago. He hadn't collapsed into himself like she almost did. He kept going and it gave her some semblance of hope. If he could survive this, she could too.

"Well, the night is still young and our morning class tomorrow got cancelled," Riley said. "What do you want to do tonight?"

"Did you bring that Friends box set your siblings gave you for Christmas?"

"It's in my dorm."

"Let's watch a few episodes."

"And by 'a few' you mean a whole season, right?"

She laughed and didn't disagree with him. They huddled closer together to fight off the cold. They didn't hold hands but he wrapped his arm around her when she began to shiver. It was not that different to when she, Kira, or Bonnie would use Scott like a walking heated blanket but it was Riley.

This was the boy that Edward had felt threatened the most of. This was the boy she had envisioned a normal life with if she had never met Edward. Seventy years, a heartbeat in time, they could have that together. But what was she thinking?

Riley wasn't in love with her. She couldn't hurt him. They were safe.

She was safe.


I know what you're thinking. 'Seph, where have you been?' Here's the truth: I was working on an original story. It has witches, demons, prophecies, romance, teenage shenanigans, and a talking fox.

1. There are conflicting information on how long kitsunes lifespans are. On Teen Wolf, Noshiko is 900 years old and looks to be middle-aged so I just went with the logic that she's middle-aged and she could probably live up to twice that.

2. The lifespan of Children of the Moon aging I just based it on Being Human where the transformation will eventually kill them as their bodies age and they can no longer take it. I didn't really want to slow down their aging. The Quileutes pack does age slower due to their shifts but I didn't want to follow the same logic with Children of the Moon.

3. I figured with magic witches could live a longer lifespan but they will succumb to old age eventually.

4. Stiles is considered an infant with the fae considering their longevity. Faes are probably the most formidable opponent vampires could have in this universe. They're immortal and harder to kill than vampires. They have magic and can hide themselves. And they're better at making allies with other species.

5. This chapter is dedicated to my friend, Kat. She recently went through a break-up and we had a lot of talks and some of those conversations helped me write this chapter. And she doesn't mind. She even said I should write about it.

6. Another major inspiration and the chapter title is a lyric from the Olivia Rodrigo song 'Driver's License'.