Chapter 21: Booths
Booths
"SO FAR, THINGS HAVE BEEN WELL." Master Hand said, walking around the booth market with Rosalina, Miku, and Crazy Hand.
"This is going to be a good day," Rosalina said.
"Me is hungry," Miku said, looking around. "I want a leek cookie!"
"YOU FOUL FOR THAT. BLEH!" Crazy Hand said.
"No way! It's the real Hatsune Miku!" A girl pointed to the teal Vocaloid. Miku stopped walking when a bunch of girls ran up to Miku, surrounding her with praises and permission for photos.
Angel Merchandise
A girl gleamed at the heavenly products. "I can be an angel with the wings, halo, robe, and the Heaven 300s?"
"Y-yea! Just like me!" Pit lied.
"You're not lying are you?" The mother asked. "Because I hate liars."
"What a coincidence! I hate liars too!" Pit grinned. "The power of believing in our Lord and Lady Palutena will make anyone an angel!"
"Mama! I wanna be an angel!" The girl said, pulling her skirt.
The mother sighed, opening her purse. "Ugh! Fine. Is there a refund if my daughter doesn't become an angel?"
"What do we look like? The Salvation Army? Nope!" Pit laughed.
Winter Wear and Snacks
"What is this?" A little girl asked, picking a frozen vegetable from the stall.
"That's a. . . uh, an eggplant!" Popo answered. "Shit, I almost forgot, Nana!"
"Nice brain, Brother." Nana smiled.
The little girl picked up something else from the shelf. "What is this?"
"Winter boots. Made from our best cotton." Nana answered. A little boy came by, staring at the two Eskimos.
"Are you guys related? Or are you guys together? As in boyfriend and girlfriend?" The little boy asked. Popo and Nana glanced at each other.
"What are we, Nana?" Popo asked.
"It's not like we checked our birth certificate. Siblings it is!" Nana said.
"What is this?" The little girl asked, holding a sealed bag.
"God damn! Don't you know your vegetables? Those are cucumber chips! Stop eating candy and donuts so you can think straight, dumbass!"
"Mister Popo!" Nana slapped his shoulder. "That's not nice! Say it when she leaves!"
"But you guys are literally selling Skittles and Nerds." The boy pointed at another shelf of only sweets.
Popo and Nana glanced at each other and then looked back at the boy.
"As if we eat vegetables! Nyahahaha!" The twins bawled out in laughter.
Make the Robot Dance
A little boy pointed at R.O.B. "Mommy! Can we make the robot dance? It cost only a quarter!"
"Ok, let's give it a try." The mom said. She pulled out a quarter from her pocket and inserted it into his mouth. A click and a bright light from his eyes indicated that R.O.B was ready to go.
"Now say something, Billy."
"Gangnam Style!" Billy said.
"Processing. . . Gangnam Style." R.O.B said. The music jumped to the chorus and R.O.B. rolled his arms and twisted his body like a stiff cowboy.
The mother furrowed her eyebrows. "That's. . . it?"
A kid was next in line, putting a quarter in R.O.B's eye socket. "Do the Harlem Shake!"
"Processing. . . Harlem Shake." R.O.B. rotated all functional parts in opposite directions, making the kids go wild. More children began to form a crowd in front of R.O.B with their sticky quarters.
"Baby Shark!" A girl requested.
"Processing. . . the most annoying song of all mankind. . . Baby Shark."
R.O.B lifted his arms and flapped like a bird. His arms couldn't go any further than that, but the kids danced along with him.
"Hey! Twerk like Miley!" A teenage boy said, putting his coin in.
R.O.B spat the quarter out, shocking the teen. "Please process an extra fee of 40 dollars due to the fact I don't like Miley."
"What?! Fine!" He added the bills in another part of his body.
"Processing. . . Twerk like Miley." R.O.B went on all fours and moved in a vertical direction as if he was doing push-ups.
"Eww! Mommy! The robot is twerking like that disgusting chick we all know!" The little girl cried, pointing at R.O.B.
"This isn't right! Let's leave!" The mom said. While the parents and children left the booth, the dance finished in a minute, leaving the teens with bewildered expressions.
"No, seriously, what the fuck was that?" The teen asked.
Kirby Cafe and Guess Behind the Mask
Unlike other booths, the Kirby Cafe was a sheltered small building in the SSBB park. A business run by Kirbys as the chef and waiter, and King Dedede as the general manager. Like many successful food businesses, the Kirby Cafe was packed.
"Mmh! This is some good curry!" Lucy Heartfilia said, taking her first bite.
"You have to try the strawberry shortcake next time!" Sakura Haruno said, sitting across from her.
"Poyo! Excuse me, ladies." A red Kirby with a black bowtie on its belly placed a small sheet of paper on their table. "Here is the bill."
"Thank you!" Lucy and Sakura said. Sakura picked up the bill and read the bottom black numbers in bold print.
Lucy smiled at the small Kirby waddling away. "This place is so cute with the Kirbys-!"
"THOSE FREAKING KIRBYS CHARGED US $50,000!" Sakura shot up from her table, smashing the table with her fist. Everyone heard the booming noise and jumped, turning to the two girls.
"Calm down, Sakura! I'm sure this is some kind of mistake!" Lucy shivered, carrying, her plate of curry.
"I NEED THE MANAGER!"
King Dedede along with the original Kirby walked up to Sakura and Lucy's shattered table.
"Poyo pi! What seems to be the problem, Sa-ku-rah Hareeno and Lu-shee Hardfelia?" Kirby asked.
"Ah. . ." King Dedede shook his head at the broken table. "For ruining our property, we'll have to charge you for the table as well."
Sakura showed the bill to the large penguin. "We only got the curry and a strawberry shortcake! Why are you charging us this much money?!"
"It was put under your name," Kirby said, pulling out another receipt. "Naruto and a few others that sat with him said to put the bill under your name."
"What?!" The girls' jaws dropped.
"Did. . . did you say Naruto?" Sakura's face boiled in anger. "Why that-! Wait till I get him!"
Lucy picked up a much longer bill that was placed on their table. "40 large ribs, 50 steak combination plates, 20 sushi platters- -ah, it keeps going!"
"Either work or pay up!" King Dedede laughed. "I got the perfect waitress outfit!"
Guess Behind the Mask
In the same building as the Kirby Cafe, Meta Knight had his booth in a different room.
"So, . . . we have three guesses?" Luffy, burped from his large meal.
"Yes." Meta Knight replied.
"If you can't guess what we look like," Galacta Knight smirked under his mask. "You have to strip!"
"Huh?!" Naruto shook his head. "Strip?!"
"As long as we get it correct, I don't see the problem!" Goku said, punching his fist.
Meta Knight glared at Galacta Knight. "That was only a joke. The real punishment is eating a ghost chilly pepper."
"Sounds tasty!" Luffy drooled. "Is it a real ghost we're eating? I don't wanna get sick."
"I love a great challenge!" Goku grinned. "Are you a blueberry?"
"Wrong!"
"Umm, a black bean dumpling!" Luffy said.
Meta Knight sweatdropped. "What's with the food guesses?"
"Ok!" Naruto said. "I got this one in the bag! You're definitely a Kirb-"
"Kirbigrip? Wrong! You lose!" Galacata Knight interrupted with a laugh.
"Wait, I didn't say that!"
"Bring in the chilies! Sucks for you little girls!"
Meta Knight presented the ghost chilies in a bowl. The three of them covered their noses with their hands, as the intense smell of fire burned their nostrils.
"On second thought. . ." The three of them muttered.
Buy a Pet Pikmin
"So each colored Pikmin tells your mood?!" A little girl gleamed.
Olimar shook his head but was ignored otherwise.
"I want to buy all of the colors!" She cheered.
The Pikmins gasped in a panic. "Meepemeepeemeeep! (I don't wanna be sold!)"
"Well, well, well. . ." Olimar said, grabbing each Pikmin with tongs and stuffing them into a brown paper bag. "100 dollars. Smash Coins or dollars?"
"Smash Coins!" The little girl said. After completing the transaction, Olimar handed the brown paper bag that was stuffed with Pikmin. "Thank you!"
"Meeeep~! (Wade in the water~!)" The Pikmins cried out.
Action Figures For Sell
"This is cool. . . I guess." A boy said, looking at the Fox action figure.
"What's wrong?" Fox asked.
"It's just. . . they look so dull, I mean I've seen way better animal figures than this."
"What?!"
"These toys are made with the best quality!" Falco said.
"Don't you guys have like Power Rangers or Marvel?" The boy sighed.
"We'd be in prison if we sold stuff without permission," Wolf said.
"Laaaame!" Another boy said, looking at the wack toys.
"You brats!" Wolf growled.
"Don't you have anything sexy?!"
". . . Boys. . ." Fox whispered to Falco and Wolf. "It looks like we'll have to ditch the PG-13 toys and stock up the 18+ ones. . ."
Falco and Wolf nodded.
Buy a Random Pokemon
"I would like to buy a Pokemon, please." A boy adjusted his black cap, staring at the Pokeballs on the shelves behind Red.
"Sure no problem," Red grabbed a Pokemon and placed it on the counter. "10 dollars or 1000 Smash Coins. It's like taking care of a pet. Be sure to train them."
"Believe me. If Ash doesn't grow up, so can I. You're looking at the next Pokemon Master." The boy said, handing him 10 dollars.
Red smiled. "Who are you hoping to get?" Red asked, handing the Pokeball to the boy.
"Anything but a Psyduck. My top picks are Pichu, Ivysaur, Chimcar, Clefairy, Eevee, and Lucario." The boy turned his cap backward and threw it nearby. The Pokeball launched itself opened and the glowing creature appeared before its master.
"Psyduck," Psyduck said, tilting its head at the boy.
"Oof. . ." Red cleared his throat.
"GAH!" The boy's jaw dropped, falling to his knees at the shock. "This can't be! No. . .! I'll buy another one! I don't want some Peking duck!" After the quick recovery, the boy pulled out another 10-dollar bill.
"Ok then. . . Good luck." Red gave him another Pokeball after the purchase.
The boy smiled at the fresh, red ball and kissed it. "I can feel it this time! I won't lose! Hopefully, I get a Mew or a Manaphy!"
"Huh? What happened to your top picks?" Red asked.
"Uh, yeah, sure. Here I go!" The boy threw the Pokemon at a safe distance. A different form appeared from the Pokeball.
"Metapod." Metapod said.
"Not this avocado sliced, caterpillar-looking-ass bitch!" He returned the Pokemon to the Pokeball, including the Psyduck. "Another!"
10 Pokemons later:
Munchlax
Woobat
Swirlix
Burmy
Luvdisc
Bibarel
Zubat
Patrat
Wormadam
Watchdog
"My money. . . all gone to these useless Pokemon. . . I thought I had plot armor or something. . ." The boy cried on all fours. He then glared at Red. "You're selling shitty Pokemon, aren't you?!"
"Whoa! Calm down!" Red said, waving his hands. "You just have bad luck!"
"Fuck you!" He opened his small backpack, putting all of the twelve Pokemons he bought inside. "I'm selling these bitches to the slums!"
A girl with blue ponytails noticed the boy and smiled, walking towards him. "I thought I heard a whiny little bitch! Kario!"
"Minda?!" Kario shot his head up at the girl.
Minda then turned to Red, placing a bag of Smash Coins. "Uno Pokemon, please!"
"Sure thing!" Red said.
Kario scoffed, getting back on his knees. "You're getting scammed."
"I don't need you shit-talking my business," Red said, handing the Pokeball to Minda.
"Who cares! I wanna Jigglypuff!" She grinned. "Yes! I'm feeling lucky! Come out, my sweet Jiggly!" Minda threw the Pokeball, expecting a small round ball, but the form of the Pokemon was two times her height.
"NANIIIII?! Is that-?!" Red and Kario gasped. The shock caught a bunch of people staring at the humanoid Pokemon.
The Pokemon curled his three fingers and smirked. "Heh. . . hahahahaa! I'm free from that rat-ass prison!" Mewtwo said.
"MEWTWO!"
Minda frowned. "What the frick? My luck is garbage!"
"What do you mean garbage?!" Both Red and Kario exclaimed.
Mewtwo stared at the girl. "Ah, so it was you who freed me from my cage I never belonged in the first place. I shall find that blue raccoon and get my revenge. . ."
"Yeah, yeah. . ." Minda sighed. "Take me to Kirby Cafe before I release you and whatnot."
". . ." Mewtwo nodded, carrying her, and flew off in the distance.
Kario took his cap off, watching the Mewtwo that was in Minda's possession. "This is . . . so unfair! I hate Pokemon!"
Buy Warrior, Mage, and Archer Gear
A bunch of girls surrounded the stall with hearts floating on top of their heads towards the four teens.
"You're so hot!" A girl batted her eyelashes toward the mercenary.
Ike rubbed the back of his head. "Ah. . . thanks. . ." He then glanced over to Marth, who was trying to keep a smile throughout.
"What's wrong with their faces?" Ike whispered.
"I'm surprised this is your first time receiving doting from girls," Marth said.
Roy chuckled nervously. "I love the attention. . . hehehe. . ."
Miru sweatdropped, polishing a sword from the back. "Don't lie to yourself."
"Can I take a picture with you, guys?" A woman asked.
"Me too!" Another woman raised her hand. It left a chain reaction and soon all of the girls wanted a picture.
Ike sighed, rubbing his hair. "Alright, listen up! If you want a picture with Marth, you gotta buy stuff!"
"H-hey!" Marth popped a vein. "Not only me, l-ladies! But our very, fierce, and determined mercenary, Ike, would love to take photos!"
Ike gritted his teeth. "Shut the fuck up, Martha!"
"What was that?!"
"We all come in a bundle!" Roy grinned. "Buy our shit so I can buy a hot dog!"
"A bundle?" Miru muttered.
"Yes, we will!" The girls began to grab whatever and placed themselves in a single-file line to purchase their items for a photo.
"Not a single warrior-looking dude. . . these girls better go to war or somethin. . ." Ike said.
Roy puffed his cheeks. "Imagine that!"
"At least we'll be eating. . ." Miru said.
"What a waste. . ." Marth muttered.
A Porky Horror Test
A tent was provided for the cinema experience for Lucas and Ness' booth. Every customer was required to wear 3D glasses.
The movie was rated S.C.A.R.Y P.O. :
Should
Crabs
And
Rent
Yield
Prosecutors
On
Ridiculous
Karma?
Yes
"We sound like real office workers!" Ness said.
"I thought we were selling movie tickets," Lucas said.
"The movie's free, but the snacks aren't. People would buy more than they should. Also, if a person leaves before the credits, they owe us 100 bucks!"
"Wow! A free movie!" A man said, gazing at the rules on the booth.
"And the snacks only cost 100 Smash Coins or a dollar." A woman said.
People began to sign a waiver before putting on the glasses and entering the tent with popcorn and soda. Once the recommended amount of people filled the space, Ness pushed the button and the movie began to play.
"I am Susano. Join me. . . for an adventure. . . Say yes. . . say yes. . . Let's run from Porky together. . ." The movie played, showing a pale girl in all black, pointing to the viewers.
People began to open their mouths and called out yes, not knowing. . .
"WHAT THE?! WE'RE IN THE MOVIE?!" A man screamed. A bunch of people in the movie exchanged glances of fear in their eyes.
"Mommy! I'm scared!" A girl clung to her mom's dress.
"What is the meaning of this?" The mom asked Susano.
"The adventure begins. . . Let's run from Porky!" Susano flashed a creepy grin. "Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!"
The crowd of people backed away from her chants and the ground began to rumble below their feet.
Buy 2D Items
"My oh my. . . back in the day, I never even tried all-black fruit." An old man said.
Mr. Game and Watch nodded. "It's rare. Like me."
". . ."
". . ."
"Buy something, old man."
Buy Water Guns and Grenades
Snake leaned against his stand smoking a cigarette after doing another restock for his booth.
"HEY! Do you sell water guns?!" A boy asked.
Snake pointed to the merchandise behind me. "Can't you read the sign? But these ain't your run-of-the-mill water guns. It requires training."
"Huh? I'm already pro at the Nerf water guns so this should be a piece of cake-"
"Nerf's for losers. We're talking about my water guns. Can't you see the realism of detail? You'll be caught dead showing up with a gun like that at school."
The boy clicked his tongue. "Old man, you don't know anything about Nerf. I'm outta here!" The boy flipped him off before running off into the crowd.
Snake scoffed. "Fucking kids. . . maybe I need someone hot to help me out with the sales. . . Time to rent a spy. . ."
Five Minutes Later. . .
"Pleasure. . . doing business with you." A tall woman in a skin-tight black suit with luscious long black hair walked towards Snake in dark shades. "Call me. . . Lady Bird. That's my code name."
"Lady Bird." Snake eyed her fit and smirked. "Just the right amount of hot. You'll be helping me sell these toy guns. Pretty easy task, huh?"
Lady Bird flipped her hair, removing her shades. "So easy. . . These guns. . . are very. . . realistic. . ."
"You talk like a snail."
"It keeps me from. . . stuttering. . ." Lady Bird said.
"Whoa! A hot chick!" A boy with a bunch of middle schoolers his age ran to Lady Bird with googling eyes.
The spy raised an eyebrow. "Free lessons come. . . with a purchase of a water gun or grenade."
"Teach us, Mommy!" The kids grabbed whatever pistol, or rifle, fitted in their hands and pulled out their wallets. Snake clicked his tongue, but still took the money.
"Who's up. . .?" Lady Bird asked.
"Meee!" A blonde boy said, raising his hand. The other kids around him complained of his quickness.
Lady Bird walked behind the blonde boy, holding the pistol alongside him.
"Remember. . . to keep your eyes on the. . . target." Lady Bird supported his aim toward a blue hedgehog eating a hot dog, and talking to other people in the park. "Pull the trigger."
"Right!" The blonde boy did as told and the water bullet shot straight for Sonic.
"Yo!" Sonic ducked in the nick of time, letting an elderly woman take the fall.
"Hey, watch who you're aiming for. I'm not about to get sued." Snake said.
Lady Bird let out a harsh breath.
"Me next!" A red-haired boy said, holding his bazooka. Lady Bird's eyes widened, seeing the bazooka, and smiled.
"Sure, sure." Lady Bird said. She walked beside him, holding the gun with him.
"Bazookas are great. . . for area damage. Remember. . . Your target and aim."
"Ok." The boy said, aiming at his target.
"Shoot!"
The red-haired boy pulled the trigger and fell back due to the pressure. The water bullet, fast as lightning, went straight for the Kirby Cafe. A yellow Kirby sweeping the floor noticed the water ball coming straight for them.
"Poyo?"
The water ball came into contact with the Cafe, causing a catastrophic explosion. Kirbys, and customers were caught in the crossfire, flying from the blast.
"So coool!" The kids clapped.
"Well I'll be damned," Snake smirked.
"YOU BASTARD!" Kirby and his other Kirbys crawled their way out of their destroyed cafe and pulled out their hammers.
Kirby pointed at Snake's stand. "Get his shit all fucked up too!"
"Fucked up! Fucked up! George W. Bush right on her pussy, yeah!" The Kirbys chanted, throwing their hammers like boomerangs. The honing hammers targeted the booth dodging people alongside. Snake notices the hammers and sweatdropped.
"Fucking-!" Snake and the kids ducked in time, as the hammers collided with Snake's guns and grenades, causing his booth to explode.
"Let's get outta here!" The kids scrambled away from Snake's broken booth.
"My fucking stand!" Snake cursed, glaring at Lady Bird.
Lady Bird shrugged. "Pleasure doing business with you."
"Bitch, you're fired."
Lady Bird bowed and walked away into the crowd, leaving the spy by himself. Snake picked up a functional water bazooka and aimed it at the Kirbys.
"It's time to die." Snake immediately pulled the trigger and the Kirbys scattered away from the attack hitting R.O.B's stand.
"BEEP!" R.O.B said.
"It wasn't on purpose, iBot."
"All Kirbys! More hammers!" Kirby commanded.
"Poyo!" All of the Kirby's swung their hammers like a boomerang shot at Snake. Quick on his feet, Snake somersaulted away from the wooden hammers, but the Pokemon booth took the blast of the attack.
Red fell on his knees, gazing at his stand in pieces. "Nooo! My Pokemon!"
Miku and Rosalina came by his stand, confused.
"It's broken! Why?" Miku asked, eating dango.
Red got on his knees, ignoring the Vocaloid, and pointed his finger at the main Kirby.
"Squirtle, Charizard, Ivysaur! Do your final attack!" The three Pokemon came out of the Pokeballs and did their final attack, taking bystanders along the way with water, flames, and wind.
Kirby swung his hammer at the final blast attack, ricochetting the attack toward the Fire Emblem Stand. A miniature explosion was formed, as people from that area took in the blast.
"You've gotta be kidding me. . ." Marth said.
"Our stand!" Roy cried.
"We worked so hard!" Ike clenched his fist, kicking the leftover debris.
"No, you've barely done shit," Miru said.
"Hehehe. . ." Red sweat dropped from afar.
"Damn you! I'm gonna kill you and eat your Pokemon for breakfast!" Ike said, marching with his sword.
"It was an accident!" Red called out.
"Say that to my Ragnell-!" Ike was cut off by a banana peel catching his foot, slipping head first, and crashing into the large bunny.
The kids around her, cried, watching the balloons that were in the bunny's hand, flying to the sky.
"Sorry, Bunny." Ike got up, immediately reaching a hand out to the bunny.
"It's me. . . Makato." The bunny said.
Ike froze. "Oh. . . are you okay?"
"How dare you hurt my precious bunny!" Roy tackled Ike, crash-landing himself and the mercenary into Lucas and Ness' stand.
"You destroyed our stand!" Ness' face reddened in anger.
Ike and Roy slowly got up and pointed at each other. "He did it."
"Psychokinetic Thunder!" Ness and Lucas said, creating a ball of thunder from the minds.
"You really said its whole government name. . ." Ike said.
The homing thunder went for both Ike and Roy as they ran and dodged their way to avoid electrocution. Their dodges made way for the PK Thunder to zap the rest of the Smasher's stands.
Rage filled the market place and it became an all-out brawl. The people of Smashville either stayed to watch or ran for their lives. Minutes into the brawl, Master and Crazy Hand gave personal bitch-slaps to each Smasher and were forced to clean up the damages.
