A/N: Happy 80th Chapter! This summer is hawt af, I'm melting in the heat. :( Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 80: Time Paradox
"I refuse to be replaced any time soon. There's so many strong people in this damned household, I might retire early! But I refuse!"
Kirby worked all night in the massive garage of the mansion, putting his sweat into his hard work. He grabbed a pink towel right beside him and patted away the excess sweat. He had to finish up the details before breakfast.
"Now, I need to use this thing." On the wooden table, Kirby took hold of a potion and poured it on his creation. Five seconds later, his creation went together. The puffball checked to see if there were any flaws, but none whatsoever. He then pushed it to the side of the garage and covered it with a white blanket to keep it hidden at the best.
"Time to eat some hamburgers!"
(oOoOoOo)
June 20th
A week had pass since the Smash Tournament begun and it had to come to an early end because of a mad shooter.
So far, the new Smashers were getting used to the veteran Smashers and the environment around them. New roommates were picked and shuffled, new stages and items were brought in the brawling room, new technology was introduced, everything was going in place.
Expect for this insecured mercenary, who couldn't stop thinking about his past mistakes during his time in Niho. "If only. . ." Ike murmured the same two words over and over again, lifting heavy boxes into the main garage of the mansion that was filled with many large vehicles and junk.
As he was distracted with his thoughts, he accidentally bumped into Cloud's motorcycle, which he decided to boot it down thanks to his grumpy mood. "If only. . ." He sighed heavily, setting the heavy box on the ground. He looked around the garage and noticed an odd structure covered in a white cloth.
Ike went closer to it, feeling a bit curious. He lifted the white cloth, now looking what seemed to be a large time machine. He examined it, from the polished tire wheels, to the large vintage clock nailed on the top.
The smell of gasoline and cold metal stung Ike's nose, not wanting to take a closer look. "What the heck is a time machine doing in here?" Ike nudged the small window door in which the size was meant to fit for small people. He then knew Kirby was responsible for this machine when a small logo of the pink puffball head glowed in the back corner of the machine.
"Why would Kirby want to build a time machine?" Ike thought of that possible outcome of the time machine being meant for him.
"AHGLIFLH!" Roy popped out from his hiding place behind a large vintage vesk, giving Ike a small heart attack.
"What the fuck, Roy?!" Ike held his breath.
"Haha! Sorry not sorry, I was playing hide-and-seek with some of the new guys, and I saw you from my hiding spot with that time machine."
"You're such a kid." Ike muttered.
Roy then walked up to Ike to have a closer look at the machine. "Does it work?"
"I'm not entirely sure."
"It's pretty small. . ." Roy said, checking the perimeters of the time machine. "We can get a potion and just make it big." Roy was lucky enough to speak his words at the right time when he spotted the potion he needed. He didn't hesitate to pluck the cork out, dumping the red liquid on the time machine.
"What are you guys doing?" Marth stood at the front entrance of the garage with his arms crossed loosely against his chest.
"We're going on a trip to the past or future with this time machine." Roy said.
Marth faced Ike with a blank expression. "A time machine? Who made it?"
"Kirby." Ike stood in place with a bored look.
"No, no. That's impossible. He can't do shit." Marth shook his head, walking up to them.
"Let's go in, guys!" Roy shoved Ike inside the time machine first in case of any weird booby traps. Marth decided to follow them just in case one of them did something stupid.
Roy checked the panels at the side of the time machine. There were buttons that allowed the driver to change the month, the date, the year, and time.
Marth observed his surroundings while Roy fiddled with the buttons. The prince came across a large, wooden box with packs of instant ramen neatly stacked on top of another with Sprite and Coca Cola. "Kirby actually knew what he was doing."
"What year should we go to?" Roy popped the question. "I think I want to see myself ten years from now."
"You're probably in the grave within that time." Ike commented.
"Agreed." Marth couldn't help but laugh.
"Hey!" Roy exclaimed.
"Let's go to the dinosaurs." Ike laid out a possible trip in mind.
"No!" Marth said.
"How about this" Roy turned the knob two months before their current month. "And. . . let's do. . . 7:12 A.M."
"Who the hell gave you permission?" Marth furrowed his eyebrows at Roy.
"And why April?" Ike said.
Roy grinned his mischievous grin. "You'll see." Roy pressed the shiny green button that read, "GO!" and things in the time machine began to shake.
(oOoOoOo)
April 29th
7:12 A.M.
The shakey ride got them all motion sick. Roy was done barfing in a plastic bag he found, wiping the excess vomit. "Are we there yet?"
Marth was trying to recover his sudden knock down, as he got himself off the ground. "I don't think we're moving."
"I need air." Ike said, making his way to the door first. Roy and Marth slowly followed Ike out to checked their new surroundings of lakes, wild plants, large trees, grass, and flowers. It was a very familiar area to the three of them, as they all took in a deep breath of the crispy air. The sun was slowly rising from the horizon, becoming another glorious day.
"This is the Lake." Marth spoke first. He sighed happily and laid himself flat on the gentle grass.
Ike looked around and just nodded. "It feels almost like yesterday. . ."
"This is when Makato first came to the Smash Mansion, right?" Roy gave the mercenary a recap. "I met her coming back from my task, and I heard from Link that you guys met her in the Lake. So we're here!"
"Did you say, Makato?" Ike jolted his eyes around the trees and the lakes, as if she were to appear out of nowhere.
Marth finished his short break from the bed of grass and got on his two feet. "Oh yes, that day when we met her. It was a very interesting encounter, but remember, guys, we can't fuck up time."
"Pfft," Roy laughed. "What haven't we fucked up? Is there much of a difference when she sees our faces?"
"He's right," Ike stood alongside Roy. "Plus, I need to tell her to have mercy upon the future Ike and to forgive him no matter what."
"Ike, don't be an idiot." Marth said. "If she sees us, we may cause a time paradox. We better wear a disguise to hide our true identities."
"Bitch, where? Are we going to wear a leaf skirt and act like cavemen?"
"N-nevermind. . . It's better if we just hide, and let's move the time machine from sight."
The three of them moved the time machine underneath a large tree, while covering it with branches, leaves, and twigs. Just then, they heard the sound of singing and whistling.
"Quick, duck." Marth ordered Roy and Ike, but they stood as still as a rock, recognizing that sweet voice.
Marth repeated himself while forcing their heads to their shoulders. "I said, duck!"
"Ah, ouch." Roy groaned.
"I need to tell my beautiful goddess about everything-" Ike was interrupted with a headlock around his neck, and it gotten tighter from every muscle he moved.
"You're not going anywhere, friend." Marth glared at him.
Ike fought back, pulling Marth's arm away from his neck. "Marth, fuck off, this is none of your business."
"Guys, stop it! I see her!" Roy angrily whispered. They immediately stopped and got back to their crouching positions. Minutes later, they saw a familiar girl walking with a small, blue bird on her shoulders.
She stopped and looked around the area, making the three teens crouch lower in their hiding spots. "I think we're lost," Makato spoke to her pet bird, Miru. The bird harshly tweeted while shaking its head.
"Ah, I know. I'll keep looking. . ." She said, continuing her footsteps. As she was walking, they all lifted their heads to see her back.
"Oh, I remember this chapter. . ." Ike murmured. "She got attacked from Goombas and shit."
"Yea, and our past selves went over there to save her." Marth nodded.
"Should we get a head start then? Since we're already here?" Roy suggested.
"No, like I said, we're not going to do anything to cause a time paradox. In fact, I think it's best to leave while we still can." Marth got up from his crouching position and made his way to the time machine. Roy and Ike did the same.
"But-" Roy got cut up from Marth once more.
"Enough of this nonsense! We're not going to fuck up time!" The prince repeated himself, for he made it to the time machine. Before Marth could grab the handle, the time machine flew up in the sky unknowingly.
"The time machine is moving! How?!" Roy gasped.
Ike squinted his eyes and shook his head. "Something smells. . . Kirbyish. . ."
And it was Kirby driving the time machine. "Ha! You think you can take my ship without my permission?! Think again, punks! I'm leaving your asses behind!" Kirby laughed evilly.
The time machine flying high, as the view of the ship gotten dimmer and dimmer to their view.
"He's planning to leave us?! Nonononono, he can't do that." Marth watched with wide eyes.
Ike picked up a random baseball and bat from the grass right at his toes. "I got this."
Roy and Marth watched Ike, as the mercenary tossed the ball up into the air, making a hardful swing. The ball turned into a flying meteor, crashing straight into the time machine.
"HOME RUN!" Roy cheered at the sign of an ariel explosion. Ike then threw the bat into the explosion just in case the time machine was still hovering high above the ground. Pieces of the time machine scattered in the air, flying like mini shooting stars.
"Good job, Ike." Marth placed his hand on his shoulder. "Do you realize what you have just done? We're trap here for the rest of our lives!"
"Fine by me." Ike smirked. "At least we'll all stay a happy family. Now let's torture that puffball."
Marth, Ike, and Roy jogged up to the main piece of the time machine, but Kirby was nowhere to be found.
"Are you sure he was in there? I mean maybe the ship was a malfunction." Marth said.
"I swear I could hear him laughing his evil laugh." Ike searched through the broken parts.
"Um, guys." Roy tugged both of their capes.
"Not now, Roy." Marth brushed his hand away. "We've got to find Kirby."
"No, you don't understand," Roy started pulling their capes. "This is an emergency!"
"Nothing is an emergency in your dictionary, Roy. Get used to your life." Ike said, digging through the scrap metal.
Roy was extremely offended. "Well!" He raised his voice, "What if I told you that Makato from the past was dead?!"
"WHAT?" Ike and Marth stopped what they were doing and turned to the redhead.
"That's not even funny, Roy." Marth said.
"Oh! You don't believe me!" Roy pointed over at other rubble of the time machine and the two of them followed his pointer finger. "I heard a loud scream from that direction."
Ike's mind went blank before he acted, shoving Roy out from his way, "Move, bitch!"
There was a lot of rubble on ground and Ike did mad searching. After throwing more junk out of the way, he was able to see her body, bloody and dirty.
"No. . ." Ike kneeled and carried her body leaving the little blue bird behind on the ground. Marth didn't know what to say, or how to express his shock at the moment.
"So. . . what does that mean? Is she. . . dead in the future?" Roy's eyes trembled with fear.
Marth went up to Ike with Makato and gently grabbed her wrist, placing two of his fingers on her skin. "She's still has a pulse, but it's dangerously low. I don't think she'll make it. . ."
Ike was in the verge in tears, but decided to be strong about his responsibilities. "This is my. . . no. This is your fault." Ike decided to put the blame on Marth since he was standing right next to him.
"Excuuuse me?! You're the one who destroyed the spaceship!" Marth snapped.
Ike glared at Marth. "So now it's my fault?!" He lashed out.
"Duh! You dumb bitch!" Marth jabbed his chest with his pointer finger angrily. "It's been your fault since you destroyed that stupid time machine No! Actually. . ." Marth turned to Roy and pointed his finger at him. It's your fault!"
"How was it my fault?!" Roy cried out.
"It was your stupid idea to go here in the first place!"
"I agree!" Ike said.
"I didn't do anything but breathed the freaking air! It was Ike who caused this time paradox!" Roy defended himself. Just when he said time paradox, a godly light appeared from the horizon, blinding their sights.
(oOoOoOo)
Smash Mansion
June 20th
A week had pass since the Smash Tournament begun and it had to come to an early end because of a heavy rainstorm.
So far, the new Smashers were getting used to the veteran Smashers and the environment around them. New roommates were picked and shuffled, new stages and items were brought in the brawling room, new technology was introduced, everything was going extremely well.
Everyone seemed happier than ever.
"Ike! I've been looking all over for you!" Samus ran to up to the mercenary that was carrying big boxes.
Ike smiled at his lover and pecked her cheek. "Hey, Samus. Need something?"
"You have a match today. A team battle with Little Mac and Shulk, against Bowser, Robin, and Lucario." She said.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me, babe." Ike smiled.
Samus touched one of the boxes. "Do you need help with that? Your match starts in an hour."
Ike shook his head. "No thanks, I got this. I'll be at the Brawling room by then."
"Ok then. After that, let's go on a double date with Marth and Daisy."
"Sure." Ike nodded. After they parted ways, Ike continued to make his way to the garage.
Kirby crossed paths with the mercenary and handed him an envelope. "Here's the money I owe you for accidentally breaking your favorite cup. I think it was $500."
"Ha, I almost forgot. Thanks." Ike took the envelope from the little puffball. "Run along now."
"I hope you can forgive me! I'm sooo sorry!"
Ike smirked and patted his head. "It's alright, you're forgiven."
"Thank you so much, Ike! I love you!" Kirby waved goodbye to Ike and waddle away. Ike couldn't help but look back at the pink puffball with a grin. They have been the best duo when it came to fighting and also the best of friends. "What an adorable little creature."
(oOoOoOo)
"So cute. . ." Ike murmured the same two words over and over again, lifting heavy boxes into the main garage of the mansion that was filled with many large vehicles and junk.
He accidentally bumped into Cloud's motorcycle in which he decided to check if he gave any fatal scratches on the expensive bike. "Cloud should let me ride on his motorcycle one of these days. . ." He smiled brightly, setting the heavy box on the ground. He looked around the garage and noticed an odd structure covered in a white cloth.
Ike went closer to it, feeling a bit curious. He lifted the white cloth, now looking what seemed to be a broken down time machine. He examined it, from the rusty metal wheels, to the shattered vintage clock nailed to a piece of metal.
The smell of burnt gasoline and old pennies stung Ike's nose, not wanting to take a closer look. "What the heck? Why keep it when it's broken?" Ike stepped on a small window door in which the size was meant to fit for small people. He then knew Kirby was responsible for this machine when a small logo of the pink puffball head was barely noticeable in one of the parts.
"Why would Kirby want to build a time machine?" Ike thought out loud. .
"BOO!" Roy popped out from his hiding placing behind a large vintage vesk, giving Ike a small heart attack.
"Roy?!" Ike held his breath.
"Haha! Sorry, I was playing hide-and-seek with some of the new guys, and I saw you from my hiding spot with pile of junk."
"Of course, that's so like you." Ike shook his head with a grin.
Roy then walked up to Ike to have a closer look at the rubble. "Do you think it would work?"
"I'm not entirely sure."
"What are you guys doing?" Marth stood at the front entrance of the garage with his arms crossed loosely against his chest.
"We're just staring at this old time machine." Roy said.
Marth faced Ike with a blank expression. "A time machine? Who made it?"
"Kirby." Ike said.
"No, no. That's impossible. But. . . it seems something Kirby would try. . ." Marth shook his head, walking towards them.
"Should we tell Kirby to get rid of it? It seems like a waste of space." Roy said.
"I agree." Ike nodded.
"It's best if we don't do anything with it and just leave it to Kirby." Marth suggested. "Something tells me it's better that way."
Roy and Ike shrugged from his comment. Without any more comments on the time machine, they all left the garage.
(oOoOoOo)
Sonic was in the kitchen, microwaving a cold chilli dog that was left for him after his brawl. The moment he turned to his side, he saw Cloud dressed up in a navy blue suit and tie. "Are you trying to ask Peach out?" Sonic asked.
"Yea. . . I think she likes me." Cloud said, grabbing the bouquet of red roses from the large fridge.
"Dude, you failed 10 times so far. Why can't you just go with someone else?" Sonic said. "And besides, she has Mario."
"She's the perfect one for me. When I first came her, I knew she was the one." Cloud's eyes sparkled, just thinking about her pink, mushroom goddess.
"Good luck, then." Sonic was the first to leave the kitchen, taking large bites of his chilli dog. "Hey, Sonic! You promised a date tonight!" Robin called out to the blue hedgehog.
Sonic stared at the female tactician with a shocked look. "I did?"
"No! He promised me!" Corrin pushed Robin aside with a silver fitted dress and black high heels. Robin pushed back and both of them began to pull each other's hair.
"Girls, girls!" Sonic waved his hands at the both of them. "I don't remember promising a dumb date."
Cloud left the kitchen and adjusted his tie. "Sonic, you sly man."
(oOoOoOo)
After things calmed down in the night, Ike used the time to reflect on his life so far. Things felt the same as usual. Everyone was doing what they needed to do.
Looking at the stars on the balcony was his best place. It was very peaceful in the Smash Mansion and problems were easily solved within the blink of an eye. However, for the mercenary, something felt. . . odd.
"Since was Robin and Cornbread were females? Well, whatever. . ." Ike spoke to himself, holding a cup of green tea. "It's too peaceful. . ."
"I can agree on that." A voice to him.
Ike turned to the voice, and it was Marth with a cup of green tea as well.
"A peaceful world can be the end of a new world." Marth said.
Ike chugged down his green tea and sighed. "You're not making sense."
"Things I say sometimes just come from my spirit." Marth chuckled. "But anyways, I remembered two months ago, late April, we're supposed to get a new Smasher joining us, but she got into a fatal accident."
"Oh, really?" Ike stared at the stars and sighed. "That sucks."
"I think her name was &0*(#[ (!$*?/ #(."
Ike choked on the cold air and began hacking out his throat. "Did you just speak in code or something?"
Marth tilted his head and brushed his hair back. "Huh? I just said her name. What is it? Is your memory that bad?" The blue prince snickered.
Ike began to lose his patience. "Just repeat her name."
"Her name is 0 %*?#$&*#(! *#$."
'What the heck?'
"Ok. . ." Ike gave up,
They both stood silent and focused their attention to the stars in the sky. Later, Roy decided to join them with his cup of hot cocoa.
"Guys," Roy gulped in his throat. "Something feels off. . ."
Ike and Marth turned to Roy, feeling now curious.
"You too?" Marth said with a slight frown.
Roy shivered and turned to Ike. "Ike, since when did you owed Kirby money?"
Ike blinked and shook his head. He didn't remember giving Kirby money of any kind. Just earlier today, he received money from Kirby. "No, you got it wrong. Kirby owed me money."
Roy shook his head. "No, that's not true. You would never give Kirby money."
"Just check what Kirby gave you." Marth said to Ike.
Ike did as told and pulled out the now envelope in his pocket. He opened it slowly, tearing the pieces of paper from across. Instead of a check, a little note appeared inside the envelope.
"I consider myself to be a prostitute, yet you still made me your #1 3. By the way I'm pregnant with your child- WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ike went on all four legs and immediately vomited right after reading the message out loud. He kept puking and puking till his eyes watered up.
"Ike, are you okay?" Marth began to rub his back as the mercenary kept vomiting.
"What the actual fuck-?!" His brain was then struck with a sharp pain that made him deaf for a few seconds. His eyes were much wider than before as he looked up to Marth and Roy.
"Um. . . Ikey boy?" Roy tilted his head, feeling a little worried.
"I. . . I remember now. Makato. . . the time machine. Then a bright light came."
"Heh, so you're finally awake now." Roy sighed in relief. "We had to trigger your memory somehow without fucking up this world."
"This world is under surveillance by something dominant, and we were all trapped with this world's memories." Marth explained. "I was able to wake up when I released Daisy was never my freaking girlfriend. Bleh. . ."
"And I was able to wake up when I saw Corrin wearing no pants." Roy said.
"And Makato. . . doesn't exist in this world, that's why it was so. . . peaceful." He was stunned from what they were both saying, but it clearly made sense. Ike sighed and wiped the left over puke on his lips. "So the letter was just to make me remember who I really was?"
"No, that actually was real." Marth said. "Kirby in this world is an actual prostitute."
The mercenary smiled before ejucating his guts like Niagara Falls. "Ok! Let me just jump off this balcony and-"
"Nobody is dying, or we'll be stuck here, forever!" A high pitch voice interrupted Ike, and a familiar one to.
"Oh! Kirby!" Roy pointed to the night sky. Marth and Ike both looked up to see Kirby riding on a starving monster that Samus would fight a lot. The dragon thing landed on the balcony so Kirby would hop off of it. Kirby was wearing a adventure hat with a mini backpack, and it seemed he was doing some adventuring.
"What are you. . . Dora?" Marth sweat dropped.
"Let's get straight to the point. I'm the real Kirby that made the time machine that y'all motherfuckas stole. That Kirby is a gay hoe who likes to give head to ever Smasher known as a Hoe Kirby. A complete hoe. Did I mention he was a hoe? That Kirby isn't me in this world without Makato, the past me is in an enslavement camp thanks to that hoe. His favorite food is a large, tender, meat pickle!"
"I think we get it. . ." Ike felt like vomiting once more.
"Well, great news! After doing some exploring around this world, everything was invaded by Kirbys. Hoe Kirby is the Mastermind of this world which makes things much easier for us. In order to go back to where we came from, we have to convince him to build the time machine once more. Killing him would mean death for all of us."
"So how are we gonna do that?" Marth said.
Kirby grinned at Ike and pointed his stubby hand at his flustered face. "We'll lure Hoe Kirby with Ike's meat pickle, but yours is probably tiny af-"
"You fucking-!" A large fist struck for Kirby's small head from the angry mercenary.
Marth sighed. "Wow, Hoe Kirby. A new added ability of bullshit. We're fucked."
A/N: To be continued! Till next time!
