Chapter 5 - I'm Sorry
My front door creaked open as I stepped into my house and shut it behind me. I was so, so grateful to be home again because not only had it been quite nippy outside, but I was also free from any stress or anxiety; I was now in my full on comfort zone, so I could just enjoy being in the presence of the silence I more than deserved. My worst nightmare in school was at the end of the day where all the kids would play fight in the corridors, shove each other into lockers for fun and scream at the top of their lungs because they were so relieved that it was the end of the day.
And that was just for any normal weekday. On a Friday, it was much, much worse because we would be absent for a longer period of time. Despite the fact that it had taken me about ten minutes to trudge back home, I was still experiencing that annoying whistling in my ears which was, for some reason, down to a lower pitch rather than a high pitch. I told myself not to get too hung up on it, but unfortunately, another incident occurred back at school which had suddenly clung onto my mind.
I had been standing at my locker and gathering all my things together when two morons from my tutor bumped into me on purpose and one of them was holding a forest fruit fizz bottle from the canteen. Unfortunately and stupidly, the lid was off and half of the liquid spilled all over me and all over my white shirt. Needless to say, I was not happy because I don't think they understood that now that I was motherless, I had to do all of my household chores myself with no supervision.
From buying a load of shopping once a fortnight to cooking all my meals every night. From washing my dirty clothes to hoovering the floor. From changing my bed sheets once every three weeks to taking out the rubbish bins. From organising myself for school to scrubbing my house from top to bottom whenever it needed cleaning. Due to this and school on top of that, I found myself utterly exhausted by the end of every day to the point where I only had to collapse onto my bed and then I would instantly be out.
At this current point, I had yet another job to do: scrub my soiled shirt. I felt disinclined to do it, but I figured that if I left it any longer, the stain would've well and truly lodged into the material, so I quickly changed into different clothes and filled up the washing up bowl with warm, soapy water. I shoved my shirt into the bowl, grabbed a scrubbing brush off the side of the sink and started vigorously scrubbing at the material. At first, when I placed my hands into the water, I grit my teeth because it was so hot, but within a split second…oh, it felt amazing and it was a great deal better than the feelings I normally experienced at school, so I was very grateful for that.
When I had finished scrubbing, I lifted my shirt up out of the water. I held it up to the light and I even sniffed it. The stain had disappeared, but there was still a smell of blackberries and cherries and a little hint of sweat, so there was even more reason for me to clean my shirt, even though I had put it on fresh this morning. All of a sudden, a wave of anger wiped over me. I was beginning to consider whether these kids were making my life hard on purpose because they either didn't like me or they just wanted to watch me suffer. If that was the case, then they were going to eat their words because I was going to do my best to succeed during my time in the jungle.
On top of that, memories of Larry talking with me in the toilets at lunchtime were flooding back into my mind and it disgusted me at how unfaithful he had been towards me and he had some nerve, trying to insult me like that. Surely, he could've been less of a dick when he was telling me a reason why I shouldn't go to Australia and maybe he could've been a lot less impolite. I hit myself across the head, determined to forget about those memories because I had more important things on my mind like packing my suitcase and I was in absolutely no mood for any nonsense.
I took the brush in my hand and resumed scrubbing at my shirt, every so often feeling like I was sweating like crazy because of how robust I was and it was partly to do with the temperature of the water on my hands and my face from hitting myself over the head. Soon, I had to stop because I had got a cramp in my left hand from having such a firm and forceful grip on the handle. I accidentally dropped the brush on the floor and squeezed my hand tight, wincing as I tried to attack the pain.
When I had recovered, my eyes slowly moved down to the floor and my heart sank because I was annoyed that I didn't have the sense to throw the brush back into the washing up bowl. Instead, since it was still dripping wet, a puddle had now formed right in the middle of the kitchen floor. Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant. And I thought that only my colleagues caused problems for me. Since I felt way too lazy to get down on my hands and knees and clean the water up, I flicked a tea towel onto the floor and moved it around with my foot. Before long, the floor was spotless, so I returned to washing my shirt, happy that this was the one thing that I had to do before I could relax after a long and busy day.
"Almost done…" I said to myself as I scrubbed, although I couldn't hear myself that clearly because of the noise.
Thankfully, after one final scrub, my shirt was all clean, so I wrung all the water out as best I could, hung it up in the airing cupboard since I didn't trust the weather and emptied the water out of the washing up bowl. After that, I closed all the curtains in my house and switched on all the lights so it would create a nice, aesthetic atmosphere that would help me wind down after a day of stress and pressure. I nestled my head into the cushions on the sofa, switched on the TV and placed a warm blanket over myself. I wanted to get into the spirit of where I was going to be within the next week, so I found an episode of I'm A Koopa and put it on.
I kept my eyes on the contestant that I had most admired at all times and I tried to imagine that that person was me, however, I wasn't sure if I would act all carefree and calm, which was exactly how this person was acting because everybody had their own personalities and I began to see myself as acting the complete opposite. I sighed dismally. All of a sudden, my mind had just been smeared with a sense of sadness and hopelessness. Maybe Larry was right in saying that I was a coward and I wouldn't succeed at much, but despite that, I would still try and I would convince Larry that I'm A Koopa wasn't as dangerous as he thought.
Oh, I felt awful for speaking to Larry like that and I felt like I needed to say sorry, but I just didn't have the energy to reach over to the coffee table for my phone and text him. Just then, I heard the doorbell sing its little song and I unsteadily rose up off of the sofa and opened the door and guess who was there? Larry. I stared at him with a look of surprise, but he stared back at me with what looked like a mixture of nerves and misery.
"Hi, Ludwig." he mumbled, placing his hands in his coat pockets before a deafening silence followed.
This instantly made me perk up and it made me think that Larry's facial expression represented his mood perfectly. Most of all, I felt even more terrible because it wasn't very often that Larry called me by my proper name. He suddenly looked up at me and started talking to me as if I was a serial killer who was holding him hostage.
"Look, man, I'm sorry if I upset you at school, I was just-"
"No." I interrupted. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that and I should've understood there and then why you were so worried for me and now I see what you mean by saying that I probably won't do well, what with my Hyperacusis and me being scared of quite a few things." I sighed heavily. "I've been such a dick."
Larry smiled mischievously. "A big, fat one."
I opened my mouth in mock shock and we both chuckled. Then we both hugged each other tight while still giggling and as Larry's arms wrapped themselves around me, I felt warm and a little bit of me felt sad. Why? Because I wouldn't feel this sensation for three weeks and I experienced it pretty much every day. I invited Larry in for some dinner (which wasn't really classed as dinner because it was only two packs of noodles) and we both moseyed upstairs to my room. Larry sat on my bed while I knelt down on the carpet, trying to find lots of clothes to put in my suitcase, just in case I got voted off of the show early and I had to live in a hotel for the remainder of the event.
"Actually," Larry said as he leant back on my pillows. "I think I might've exaggerated when I was talking about your flaws."
"What do you mean?" I asked, turning around.
"I mean that…the way I talked to you while we were at school…it must've made you think that I was telling the absolute truth, but I wasn't. You can be really quite strong when you want to be and yeah, you might be shy when meeting new people and yeah, you'll feel weak at some stages, but I'm sure you'll gain lots of energy and you'll get on with those people just fine…" There was a moment of silence where Larry's voice trailed off and he stared down at the floor, blinking.
"Larry?" I said. "Are you all right?"
"Huh?" Larry shook his head. "What did you say?"
I was pretty sure that I knew the answer to the question I had asked before, so I just kept silent, but after a while, I asked another question because Larry's expression on his face was still the same as it was thirty seconds ago. "Is there anything else bothering you?" I asked.
Larry hesitated for a moment. "No."
"Are you sure?" I raised an eyebrow. "You hesitated quite a bit there."
"No, trust me, I'm fine." Larry shuffled off the bed, walked round it and sat down beside me. "Here, let me help you pack." Me and Larry sat there talking for quite a while, every so often changing the subject to what I needed to take with me, but as I placed one of my expensive bath soaks into my suitcase, I suddenly remembered something that Mark had told me during that phone call on Friday night and I couldn't believe that I hadn't mentioned it to Larry yet. Perfect! Now was the time!
"You know," I said, turning towards Larry. "You won't be too far away from me while I'm in the jungle."
"Why?" he asked, curiously.
"Look, that presenter that called me, he told me that about an hour away from the camp I'll be staying in, there's this luxurious hotel and he told me that I can take two of my friends or relatives with me and they will stay there while I'm away."
"Yeah…?" Larry said, almost as if he was expecting me to carry on and I did.
"So…I was wondering if you might want to come along with me."
There was silence for quite a while before Larry spoke. "Um, if I were to come along with you, how long would I have to pack my bags?"
I thought for a brief moment. "Well…the show starts this Sunday and I think we would have to leave a day early in order to get there on time, so I would say…about five days?"
Larry gasped. "What?!" Then, least expectedly, Larry grabbed me by the wrist, pulled me to my feet and ran out of my room and down the stairs while I trailed behind him like a dog on a lead. I only had time to slip on some shoes before I got dragged out of the door and cold air whacked my face hard. To make matters worse, I nearly tripped over my doorstep and fell flat on my face.
"Woah, Lar!" I shouted. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see!" Larry panted. "Come on!"
AN: Hey everyone! Please note that I may or may not be posting a bit more often than usual because…I'm off on half term and I have a lot more free time on my hands, so expect great things throughout the past few days! Anywho, hope you enjoyed the chapter! :))
