I know its been a full year since I've updated this. I lost all inspiration for any Finchel writing. I will be finishing both of my stories that remain open! Not sure who is out there still reading these but enjoy!


September

Rachel woke up in Finn's house to an alarm going off at 6 am. She knew she didn't work today, but she wasn't awake enough to know why there was an alarm blaring in her ear.

"Finn," she said in the dark as she reached out for him. "Finn, your phone. It's beeping. Finn!" She found his body and rocked it a few times to wake him.

Finn sat up in the darkness and fumbled for his phone on the nightstand. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand while trying to turn the alarm on with the right. Once the alarm was turned off, Finn threw himself back onto his pillow and groaned. "Ugh 6:00 is so early when I'm not working."

Still half asleep, Rachel scooted her body over towards Finn. "Why is your alarm going off? Can we go back to sleep?"

He laid back down next to her, putting his head on her pillow so they were laying face to face. "For my dad remember? We're getting up for my dad."

That sentence is what brought it all back. It was 9/11. They were getting up to celebrate his dad.

On the first year anniversary of Christopher Hudson's death, Carole and Finn went down to ground zero like so many other families. They stared at the open hole in the ground. They listened to the names being read. They sat silent while the bells rang out marking when the towers fell. Finn cried so hard he couldn't breathe and Carole walked around like a zombie all day. They didn't go back again for another five years.

Finn was 18 when they asked him to read section of names at the memorial service at ground zero. Construction had started again and the official memorial was in the words and he felt old enough to handle it. He was fine until he got to his dad's name and he broke. "My dad, Christopher James Hudson. Ladder 86". He was able to read it before having to step down and another person took over.

His first 9/11 as a firefighter was strange. People came by the station with flowers and food. Some even had cards thanking them for their service and dedication. They looked him in the eye and they shook his hand. They didn't know though. They had no idea how it really felt.

Now that Carole is married to Burt, she has to go to the service every year. She normally gives a nice statement to the press and Burt does his mayoral duties and they leave. His mom handles it better than he does. She was the strongest woman he's ever known. He never knew what to do on this day. He never established a ritual or routine. There was no grave, just his name etched in stone along with everyone else who perished.

It was Rachel's idea, to pick the things his dad loved to do and DO them. To have fun and celebrate his life and remember him in a good way. Finn always wanted to avoid doing anything that made him happy on this day. He didn't want to have any moment of happiness on a day his dad left this earth. But one day Rachel asked him what his favorite memories were and what his dad liked to do the most, and a list grew out of it. She was teaching him that memories can be painful, but celebrating the memory of a person can be wonderful.

"What's first on the list? I can't remember? Sorry I'm not very coherent at 6 am. My job never requires me to actually be conscious at this time of day." Rachel brushed Finn's hair away from his face. He needed a haircut. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I've never done anything like this so I just don't know how to feel. Normally I just wake up sad and stay sad and go to work. Or my mom and I would meet up for lunch and talk about him for a little bit." He rolled out of bed and flipped the lights on which made Rachel throw the blankets over her face until her eyes adjusted.

Finn threw some clothes on before pulling the blankets off of her face. She giggled and sat up before he dragged her up. "Well different doesn't mean bad. We have to spend the day doing something so let's try this. I can't say I know how it will go because its really about you and your family, but hopefully it will be a good thing." She pecked him on the cheek and headed into the bathroom.

Stop 1 was his dad's favorite diner. It was only two blocks from his house. Burt and Carole couldn't meet them until later in the day because of their duties in the city, so it was just Rachel and Finn for breakfast.

"My dad used to take me here every Sunday. It was our 'man' time while my mom had some free time at home," he said biting into his pancakes.

"That's so sweet. My dad's and I used to have tea every Sunday. I think they enjoyed it more than I did. We did a lot of things that most other kids I knew didn't do." She laughed as she spread the cream cheese onto her bagel. "They tried their hardest to give me a normal childhood, but there was no way they could pull it off. They didn't know how to do anything understated ever."

They had emailed out a schedule of their day, so anyone who wanted to come and join them was welcome. Everyone was busy, the day holding different meaning for all of them.

Puck showed up just as they were finishing up breakfast. He gave Finn a pat on the back and pulled a chair over to their table. "Sorry, I got stuck on a call or I would have stopped by earlier. How's it going? Abby and the kids are still asleep so they won't be joining you."

"I appreciate you dropping by. You on shift all day today?" Finn asked.

"Yep! Abby has a shift at the hospital starting at noon and my mom will have the kids so we'll see how the day goes. I'll definitely try to text you if I get off early, but you never know what crazy things will go down." Puck glanced around at the half empty diner. "Man your dad loved this place. Remember when he would bring us here in the summer when we were off of school? He'd let us order chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate milk and made us swear we wouldn't tell our moms how much sugar we had."

A small smile spread across Finn's face. "Yeah, we never told either. We knew if we told it would never happen again."


They took a quick walk down to the river, looking over at the new Freedom Tower. Finn was quiet, but overall happy. Rachel had really changed his perspective on things. He had spent so many years angry at the world, mad that he was robbed of more time with his dad. Taking the day to celebrate him instead of mourn him was opening his eyes to so many things.

They sat on a bench holding hands in silence, just enjoying the nice weather and the view.

"My dad would take me down here a lot," he started. "We'd skip rocks or watch the boats go by. One time he even rented a boat and took my mom and I out for the day. My mom ended up throwing up from motion sickness and we came home early, but it was still fun." Finn laughed lightly. "My dad never let her live that down either."

Rachel rested her head on Finn's shoulder. "I'm glad we decided to do this today. We rarely get a full day off together. I get to learn a lot about your dad too."

"Thanks for doing this Rachel. It truly means a lot to me."

"I love you. I can't imagine what you went through and what you're still dealing with, but I want to know this side of you too. "

Finn sighed. "Trust me I am fine most of the time. It's hard though, knowing my dad won't know me older than the age I was when he died. I'm thankful he got to skip my marriage to Quinn though." He laughed as he tucked Rachel's arm under his. "I miss him but I think I miss more of the things he won't be here for. He won't get to meet you. He would have laughed so hard if I told him that his dopey son was dating a beautiful Broadway actress that's about to be a movie star."

Rachel began to tear up. "Oh stop, you're not dopey". She tried not to focus on the fact that he didn't say 'I love you' back.

"You don't have to pretend I'm not." Finn kissed the top of her head before he continued. "He won't know my kids, or see me as a fireman. That's what hurts the most."

Rachel's heart broke for him. She put herself in his shoes, knowing how hard it would be for her to move on and have a family and success and her dad's never knowing about it. She stood in front of him and hugged him tightly. "Finn, I'm not overly religious or anything, but your dad was a wonderful man and I'm sure he's found a way to keep tabs on you. I know if my dad's pass away they will haunt me forever. There's no way they would miss a thing."

Finn cracked a smile as he pulled away. "I sure hope so. Sometimes little things happen and I can't help but think its my dad in some way. Even the night of the auction, I wasn't even supposed to be there. I wonder if we would have ever met if I hadn't gone."

Rachel's eyes grew wide. "You weren't supposed to be there?" Finn nodded. "Wow, then yeah who knows if we would have ever crossed paths..."


After a quick stop at the local deli to grab some lunch, the two headed back to Finn's to watch his dad's favorite movie: Star Wars.

Finn laid on the couch with Rachel propped up between his legs, leaning back on his chest.

"So how many times have you seen this movie? I've only seen it once when I guy I was dating made me watch all of the Star Wars movies in a weekend." Rachel pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and covered them both.

Finn pressed play and the opening credits began to roll. "Oh at least 100 times. Star Wars is the most legendary movie of all time."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I beg to differ but we can discuss that at another time." Rachel yawned as she pressed her cheek into Finn's chest to get more comfortable. "I guess the early morning wake up is hitting me."

"Don't fall asleep on me. I have to tell you all of my favorite parts." Finn began to stroke Rachel's hair as the movie began.

About five minutes later, he felt her body relax and realized she had fallen asleep. The weight of her body pressed against his made him relax even more. What used to be a sad day was not so sad anymore. Rachel had made today all about him and he was so thankful for that. Not wanting to wake her, Finn rested his own head on the side of the couch and tried to watch the movie. He couldn't fight how heavy his eyes felt and drifted off.

Finn awoke an hour later to a light snore coming from Rachel's mouth. She hadn't moved but he knew they needed to get up soon. Rachel had kept the evening activities a secret. He trusted her, knowing she would choose the right thing for them to do.

The doorbell woke Rachel up, causing her to sit up abruptly. "Oh my god Finn I'm so sorry I fell asleep! How long was I out for?"

Rachel scooted forward to allow Finn to get up and answer the door. "About an hour. Don't worry I fell asleep too." He winked as he turned to walk away.

Finn was surprised to see his mom at the door.

"Hey Finn, can you go to the car and get the rest of the food?" Carole asked as she pushed past him.

"Food for what?" Finn looked back at Rachel who was smiling.

"Just go and get it Finn! Everyone else will be here soon." Rachel grabbed the bags out of Carole's hands and they both walked to the kitchen. Finn headed out to the car with a confused look on his face.

"Does he have any idea what you've planned?" Carole asked.

Rachel began unpacking the bags full of food. She had planned a Barbecue with his family and Puck's. She had also invited a few of his co-workers from the Firehouse but they had all been on shift. Santana had also said she would stop by later on after she got off of work.

"No. I'm sure he thinks I've planned this big thing, but he said his dad was a simple guy so I planned something simple. Plus I know he loves when everyone gets together and that hasn't happened since his birthday and that ended terribly."

Finn emerged through the door holding a cooler of food. "Care to tell me what we need all of this for?"

"A barbecue silly. Now go warm up the grill before everyone arrives." Rachel opened the back door for Finn as he headed out with the food. She followed shortly after.

Finn turned on the gas grill before he heard Rachel behind him.

"So why a barbecue?" he asked as he took her hand.

"Well I spoke with your mom and she said your dad's favorite thing to do was have people over and hang out and barbecue. So that's what we're doing. She helped coordinate the food and was very helpful." She smiled at him as she started to walk away.

"Wait. You talked to my mom? You guys talk?" Finn furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Well not all of the time, but now more since I was coordinating this day. She's really nice Finn. You're lucky to have her."

Finn glanced inside at his mother feverishly looking through his cabinets for something. "I know. I wouldn't be here without her. I'm glad you two talk sometimes. She misses having another girl around. I mean Kurt can be sort of like a daughter sometimes but you get what I'm saying."

"Finn!" Carole yelled from inside the house. "Where on earth do you keep your mixing bowls? do you even have mixing bowls?" She continued to rummage through his kitchen.

"I'll go help her. Let me know if you need any help out here." Rachel ran back inside, leaving Finn to watch the two women in his life laugh about something as they worked together. This day was turning out to be pretty great.

Within the hour all of the important people in Finn's life arrived at the house. Kurt and Blaine, Burt, Puck and his wife and kids, and even Rachel's dad's all came to honor his dad. There was no sadness. They grilled food and played horseshoes in the back yard while Carole, Rachel, and Kurt all talked about her upcoming movie role on the deck. Stories were shared and laughs were had over the smallest things. Finn felt loved, but most importantly he felt complete. Even though his dad would never be coming back, he hadn't felt this way since the day before his dad died.

Before everyone was getting ready to leave, Finn announced he would like to make a toast. Kurt popped open some champagne he had brought and passed it around in some plastic cups.

As the crowd quieted, Rachel stood beside him snaking her arm around his waist.

"I'd like to thank everyone for coming, even though I had no idea about any of it." He nudged Rachel slightly and smiled. "My dad would have loved this. I know he's been gone a long time now, but this is the first time this day wasn't truly awful." Finn took a deep breath, trying not to cry. He felt Rachel's hand squeeze his side. "I'd really like to thank Rachel, and my mom, who planned this all out. I'd like to do this every year in the future if possible. So cheers to my dad. I know he's watching us from up above and smiling today."

Rachel beamed with pride as the crowd clinked their plastic cups together and raised them in the air. She couldn't help but notice a tear in Carole's eye as she hugged Burt.

They sat on the back porch bench together, sipping on their cocktails after everyone had left. There was a chill in the air as fall was approaching. Rachel had thrown on a sweatshirt to warm herself up.

"No one's ever done anything like this for me. Ever." Finn took a big swig of his beer as he put his arm around Rachel.

"I didn't do anything special. I mean nothing was that hard to plan out. I just wanted you to not be sad about this day. Your dad seemed like an amazing man." Rachel rested her head on his shoulders. She had taken a chance doing something that could possibly upset him instead of cheer him up. She had never really done anything like this for anyone before.

"You don't know how much this means to me. Really. My mom was the only other person who ever tried to fix this hole I've had since my dad died. I know I'm a grown adult now, but today was the nicest day I could have ever asked for. It was so much better than trying to distract myself or sit around in self pity."

"I noticed your mom got a little teary eyed with your speech. How does Burt deal with this all? He seems like a great guy but I haven't spent a ton of time with him."

"Burt's actually really great about it. He knows my dad ended up dying a hero and that he didn't want to step on anyone's toes, especially when they first started dating. Now that he's in the spotlight more I know he gets scrutinized more about things this time of year, but overall he really has been awesome. I really do think of him as a second dad."

"That's really sweet Finn. I'm so glad we had this gathering tonight. I wish we had more time before I leave to hang out with everyone more. It's just been my dad's and I for the longest time. It's so nice to have a bigger sense of family around."

"Well everyone loves you so I'm sure they'd be thrilled if we hosted more things here or at your apartment. Kurt and Blaine usually host Christmas so if you're back you can join us there too!"

Rachel sighed thinking about how long she'd be gone before being able to come back on a break. "That sounds wonderful!"


October

Rachel cried as she took her final bow as Fanny Brice. She'd cherished this role, was nominated for a Tony in this role, and ultimately got a movie role out of it. However, during her final months she had met Finn and everything had changed. If it hadn't been for this role, she might not have been invited to the fundraiser that changed everything. Tears streamed down her cheeks as her costars hugged her and she waved to the audience for the last time. Her replacement started tomorrow.

She had been hoping time would have slowed down, delaying the end of her show and her departure from New York to film the movie. Yet it seemed that time had only sped up. She had been busier than ever, trying to divide her time between the show, Finn, and her new movie project.

She ran off stage into the arms of Finn, who was waiting in the wings. He hugged her tightly as she sobbed into his chest, staining his suit with tears.

"Come on, let's go get you cleaned up. Your dad's were heading to the restaurant so we can meet them there." Finn walked her down the long narrow hallway to her dressing room, Rachel leaning into his side as she sniffled.

It took over 20 minutes to actually make it into her dressing room. Everyone they saw stopped to say their goodbyes and congratulate Rachel on her movie deal. This made her cry even harder.

Her dressing room was mostly packed, except for the large vase of roses Finn had sent her for her final show and her clothes she had to go out in.

"It's so crazy that it's over already. I've spent two years in this show. Seems more like a lifetime." She sighed as she changed out of her costume for the last time. "I didn't think I'd be this emotional over this." She hung up her costume and took off her wig for the last time. She wiped more tears from her cheeks as she slipped her dress on.

Finn tried to stifle a laugh. "Really? You've been crying for two weeks straight over it. I'm shocked you aren't on the floor in a full on sob curled up in a ball."

Rachel rolled her eyes as she turned her back to him. "Can you zip me please? And I guess you do have a point. I've been a little emotional."

Finn slowly zipped the back of her calf length black dress. When finished he leaned over and kissed the side of her neck. "It's okay, I'll still be your boyfriend." He winked. "Now let's get going before we miss our reservations. Do you need to say goodbye to the couch and makeup chair too?"

"Haha very funny. No I'm fine, we can go."

After being mobbed by the paparazzi, they finally made it inside the restaurant. Although it didn't happen as often anymore, it still bothered them that people cared so much about their relationship.

"I swear, I hope they're not everywhere I go in LA. It was nice when things faded down for a while." Rachel walked past the hostess station and back to where she thought her dads were seated. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the crowd.

What was supposed to be an intimate dinner with Finn and her dads had turned into a full blown party. The production company surprised her by throwing a goodbye party at a local restaurant. She screamed when she walked inside to see everyone gathered in honor of her. Finn was totally in on it and hadn't let on that they would be going to anything other than a fancy dinner to celebrate. Finn's family was out of town for various reasons, but Finn assured Rachel they were so sad to be missing this.

The Director of Funny Girl said a few nice words, wishing Rachel well. Then Santana stood up, which was always unpredictable.

Santana grabbed a glass of champagne and began her toast. "I've known Rachel for many years as her publicist, manager, and friend. I've also never seen her cry as much as she has the past two weeks." The crowd laughed and Rachel immediately began to cry again. Finn nudged her side jokingly. "This is a big leap of faith for her, but also a huge accomplishment. I know you've grown so much over the past two years as Fanny and we all wish you well as you move to LA to start your new endeavor! Cheers!" Santana raised her glass and the rest of the crowd followed.

Rachel noticed her dad's sitting across the table, a smile spread across their faces. "We're so proud of you," Hiram mouthed to her. Leroy was too busy crying to say anything.

As dinner came to a close, she said her goodbyes once again. Soon it was just her, Finn, her dads, and Santana left sipping the last few glasses of champagne. Rachel couldn't fight the pit in her stomach that had been lingering there for the past few days. She was nervous. She was moving 3000 miles away to do something she had never done before. Santana would fly out periodically, but it was mostly her on her own.

She was going to miss not being able to see her dad's whenever she wanted. Most of all, she was going to miss Finn. LA would be different. Her co-star in the movie was Josh Simpson, a very famous, very handsome and up and coming actor. Finn didn't seemed phased by this at all, which was reassuring to her. She also knew that Finn had no idea how the entertainment business worked.

Santana had rented Rachel an apartment near the studio lot for two months before she would have to relocate again to the second location in the midwest. Needless to say she was going to be busy. She wasn't even getting any type of break or vacation until Christmas.

Rachel felt Finn's hand squeeze her thigh to catch her attention. "You ready to head home? I know you have a lot to do tomorrow."

"Yes I'm ready. It's all just going by so fast. I can't believe I'm moving away." She sighed as she grabbed his hand in hers. "I'm going to miss you so much."


The night before she had to leave, they spent most of their time in bed. Some takeout had been ordered and partially eaten, but they knew this was the last night they'd be together for a long time.

Their first round of lovemaking was fast and hard, both of them acting like it was the last time they'd ever have sex. The second round was slow and sweet, and of course Rachel cried when it was over.

"Rachel, I love you but-"

"You love me? "

Finn looked at her puzzled. "Have I never said it out loud before? I thought we'd been saying it all along."

"No, No you hadn't said it but I have felt it for a long time. I've said it a few times. That's why I'm so emotional. I love you Finn Hudson and I am so so sad to leave you. I promise I'll text you everyday so much that you'll be annoyed. You'll tell all of your friends how your girlfriend never leaves you alone while she's off making a movie." Laughter broke through her tears.

"Well I was going to say, I love you but stop acting like you'll never see me again. I love you. I'll be here waiting. Stop worrying so much. If my dad passing away has taught me anything, it's to live in the moment. So go. Go make your moment and come back to me when it's over."

Around 2 am, Finn suggested they get some sleep. "I have to work tomorrow at 8 and your car is picking you up around 9. We need to go to bed. As much fun as I'm having, my boss will kill me if I show up exhausted.

Rachel threw on Finn's t-shirt that was thrown on the end of the bed and laid back down. "I don't want it to be morning. If I go to sleep it will be time for you to leave when I wake up."

"First of all, who said you needed to put a shirt on," he smirked, "and second of all, stop dreading the morning. Do you know how many people would kill to be in your shoes? Live it up Rachel. Remember how you hated being labeled an ice queen? Prove everyone wrong. You've proved it to me, now prove it to everyone else. Go and make that movie and be a badass. Make new friends. I'll still be here when you get back."

He pulled her back on top of him, so she was straddling his lap. He reached under her shirt to rub her stomach. Finn saw the tears in her eyes before she started to speak.

"I don't deserve you. All I've ever wanted to do is strive for something bigger, something better. Always wanting more. Wanting a better boyfriend, better job, better everything. Now I have you and all I want is to lock us in this apartment forever." She wiped her tears and leaned down to kiss his lips.

Finn knew Rachel was internally panicked. She was convinced their relationship would deteriorate while she was gone. "Rachel please don't cry. It will be fine. I'll be here fighting fires and being bored while you're out making your movie. We can make it work but you have to be okay with it. It's not forever."

She moved so she was laying next to him and nuzzled her head into his chest. "I'll miss you so much."

They made love for the last time. It was slow and delicate. They both wanted to make it last as long as possible.

Finn's alarm went off at 6, breaking them from a deep sleep. They both groaned in unison.

"Did you sleep okay?" Finn hesitated a little, wondering what mood Rachel would be in this morning. They had fallen asleep pretty quickly last night.

Rachel yawned. "Yeah, but it made the night go by so fast. I can't believe this day is here. " She closed her eyes again, not wanting to look at Finn. The tears started to fall before she spoke again. "I cant believe I've been this emotional about this. I guess I don't handle change as well as I thought."

Finn wiped a tear away with his thumb, the roughness of his hand grazing her cheek. "Hey, you're going to be fine. Give me something to brag about to the guys at the station. You know I get so much shit for dating a famous person right?" Rachel opened her eyes and cracked a smile.

"You do? And I'm hardly famous...yet that is." She sat up in bed as she felt a rush of exhilaration course through her veins. "Okay, this is it. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to go to LA and kick some ass and then come home to my hot boyfriend at Christmas when we will have sex for two weeks straight until I have to go back. Sound good?"

"Sounds fantastic." Finn kissed her on the cheek and headed for the shower.

Rachel threw her hair up in a bun and began placing her final items in her carry on bag. All other luggage had been sent with Santana to Los Angeles yesterday. As she gathered up her giant bag, she saw Finn's t-shirt he had worn to bed thrown across his pillow. It was his favorite FDNY t-shirt. It was navy with white writing and very very worn. She grabbed it and threw it in her giant purse and headed out to the living room.

Rachel sat on the couch and waited for Finn to come out of the room and leave for work. She tried not to cry again, but when she saw him dressed in his uniform ready to go, she broke.

"Rachel, honey don't cry again. It's going to be okay. I love you and this isn't forever." Finn sat next to her on the couch as he put his work boots on. "I've got to go. My shift starts in 20 minutes. Call me when you land ok? I'll try to answer if I'm not on a call."

He stood up, pulling Rachel up with him. She hugged him like it was the last time they'd ever see each other.

"I don't want to let you go. Take a leave of absence and come to California with me?" Rachel laughed.

"I wish, but you know I can't. Maybe I can try to swing a visit sometime in November. I have to go now. Don't sit here and be sad until you leave. Call Santana or something. The thought of you sitting here and crying breaks my heart." Finn kissed the top of her head and walked to the door. "Goodbye to my movie star girlfriend. Don't let fame go to your head okay?" Finn chuckled and winked at her before walking out the door.

Rachel actually recovered and was much better once Finn was gone. His presence alone was making her an emotional mess, so with him gone she could focus on the day ahead.

Her car picked her up promptly at 9. Once in the car she texted Santana asking her for updates for when she lands. She didn't text Finn. She was trying to be strong. As she was putting her phone away she heard the familiar ding of a text message coming through.

10K: I love you. Two months will fly by I promise. No more crying ;)

She clutched her phone tightly as they drove away.