"Last time on Total Drama Island… Twenty two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks at this crummy old summer camp. Then they have to face the judgment of their fellow campers." A flashback shows DJ chatting with Katie in which he remarks "it's our first challenge… How hard can it be?" Before the setting of the challenge, a giant cliff is shown off.
"Oh.. shit."
The theme song plays over an intro sequence.
The first shot depicts Wawanakwa in full, leading up to a giant cliff and zooming past McLean as he sips a coffee before diving into the water below the cliff.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
We see Ezekiel under water, watching Geoff and Bridgette with a downtrodden look on his face, both of which are staring longingly into each other's eyes until an eagle picks Geoff up by his shoulders and carries him off. Bridgette tries to reach for him, watching him fly away with concern.
You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous.
The eagle drops Geoff down as it soars past the sun. He falls down a few tree branches before landing in DJ's arms, who seconds prior was enjoying nature and the copious animals around him. The animals get violent and attack as soon as their peace is disturbed. DJ and Geoff scream as the former runs with the latter in his arms away from the vicious animals.
Duncan laughs hysterically at the scene, but Courtney glares at him with disapproval, causing him to stop.
I wanna live close to the sun
So pack your bags cause I already won.
Heather is in a canoe with Beth and LeShawna going down the stream. Beth is in the middle, trying to separate the two from dueling. The canoe ends up careening off of the stream and down a waterfall, which makes the teens fall to the water below, passing by Harold as he practices a few fighting poses on a dangerously positioned log overlooking the falls. As he stretches his arms and legs out in a dorky position, Izzy swings in on a vine and knocks into him, bumping directly into an outhouse housing Lindsay, who falls out with her skirt around her ankles.
Everything to prove
Nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Cause I wanna be famous.
Inside the mess hall kitchen, we see Chef preparing some disgusting green soup with his bare hand dipped into the pot. He looks behind him at a tied up Owen and Noah, both looking petrified of whatever Chef is concoting for them. In the mess hall itself, Eva arm wrestles Tyler, easily beating him and dislocating his arm.
Outside on the beach, Sadie and Katie coo over Justin, who is looking at himself in between two mirrors. He winks at one, his teeth glistening.
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
We get a good look at the polluted, muggy, teal waters of Wawanakwa, a few seagulls fighting over a cellphone. Katie swims for it, with Sadie watching from the sand anxiously, but the skinny brown clone of her best friend ends up being terrorized by a shark and swims back to shore as fast as she can.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Back on the dock of shame, we see Justin strut to the edge before ripping his shirt off, water from the shark splashing towards Katie drenching his perfectly chiseled muscles. He flexes as the camera goes up and transitions from day to night, then comes back down at the campfire ceremony.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
Trent is playing his guitar for Gwen, who is entranced by him. He leans forward, a warm smile on his face. As they inch closer, Cody gets between them and places a hand on both of their shoulders, smiling dorkily. The rest of the cast whistles the chorus of the theme song as the camera zooms out to capture them all sitting around the bonfire. The logo appears above them.
Total Drama Island:
The Creeps Cut
Created by Voice_From_Under_The_Covers and Gannon/Crimson Candy.
"Okay! Today's challenge is actually THREE challenges! Your first task is to jump off this one thousand foot high cliff INTO the lake." Chris explained to the twenty two teens.
"Piece of cake." Bridgette whispered to Tyler, that remark was mainly for her own nerves. Surfing was one thing, jumping off of giant cliffs into possibly shallow lakes was a completely different beast for the surfer chick.
"If you look down you will see two target areas; the small, itty bitty safe zone, and the rest of the lake, which may or may not be dangerous as all heck, hehehe." Any campers who weren't already questioning making the jump were absolutely starting to question their decisions now. Especially DJ, all the slop from "lunch" earlier today had been completely replaced with anxiety, fear, and the desire to run away and cry for his momma.
"However! Not all hope is lost. Inside that large area is a safe zone, that's your target. Which… We're pretty sure is shark free? Hey Chef, about those interns…"
"Pretty sure?!" The entire cast gasped, causing Chris to chuckle maniacally. "It's just a prank bro! Maybeeee." LeShawna, Gwen, and Heather rolled their eyes, meanwhile Zeke and Beth gave each other a worried side eyed glance.
[Confessional, Ezekiel]
"I'm not like, the smartest guy around… But I think that girl Beth? She was lookin at me real interested eh? Yep, my ma always said I was quite the charmer eh?"
[Confessional, end]
"For each member of your team that jumps and actually… survives. There will be a crate of supplies waiting below. The second part of the challenge will have you move the crates to your cabins. Inside each crate are supplies you'll need for the third part of the challenge: building a hot tub! The team with the best one gets to have a WICKED hot tub party tonight!" For the first time since they got on this cliff the campers began to cheer!
"Not so fast! Because the losers still have to send someone home!" A collective sigh swept over the moments earlier ecstatic campers.
[Confessional, Duncan]
"Of course I want to win. On one hand I'll get to see that cutie Courtney in that bikini a bit longer. But if we lose… There's one less dork we'll need to worry about."
[Confessional, Owen]
"Woo! Party! I mean, if we win. Or survive. It would suck to die to hungry sharks! Or die in general!"
[Confessional, Izzy]
"Oh, my, GOD! I'm SO excited for this! Not the party, I mean the jump! Swimming with sharks is one of my favorite hobbies. Want to know my second favorite hobby? Jumping off of giant cliffs!"
[Confessional, Tyler]
"Oh man, this reminds me of a stunt I tried to pull in the third grade. Instead of sharks I tried to jump from a tree into a lake and got COVERED in leeches dude. It was mad grody… And I broke my arm!" He lifts his arm up and plays around with ol' rightie. With every movement you can hear cracking. "Gnarly, huh?"
[Confessional, end]
Chris looks between the two scared straight teams, squinting at them before reverting back to his happy, grinning host persona. "Let's see.. Killer Bass, you're up first!"
Bridgette peers over the edge. Her heart thumps in her ears, a sound she's used to when dealing with tense situations out on the beach where she either has to save an animal suffering or let it die before she can. This is so different. "Wow.. okay. Who wants to go first?"
Silence. Sadie looks over at Katie sadly, not listening, Geoff looks down with his arms behind his back, Duncan folds his arms and gives her a side glare, Harold glances at the edge of the cliff and winces but it looks more like he's sizing it up then backing out. DJ scratches the back of his head and looks away, terrified. The others seem less confident as well.
"Well, if none of you babies are going to jump, I will." Eva declares, pushing past Tyler who falls onto the floor.
"Ow!"
She walks up to the edge, takes a step back and then jumps off, leaping downward in a skydiving position before quickly changing to a dive at the last second, landing her safely in the safe zone. Her team and the Gophers look down, the former cheering for her. She's picked up by Chef in a small boat.
"Chris, man, these are like, tested beforehand, chyah?" Geoff questions, looking back at Chris with a bit more confidence.
"Oh, tested?" Chris blinks, perplexed by his question.
"Yeah, by stuntmen, right?" Bridgette follows up, getting ready to take her dive next.
"Well…"
Two hours earlier…
Chef stands on the edge of the cliff in a floatie and purple swim trunks. Chris stands behind him in his regular outfit, impatiently folding his arms.
"Come on, man, the teens'll be here in an hour! We don't have time for you to be such a pussy. So, hop to it."
"Man, do I look like an intern?" Chef asks, as sassy as usual.
"No, but the ones we did have are all in the hospital." The cook's face falters.
"Why can't you do it?"
"Because I'm not as big or strong or beautiful as you, you asshole. Now jump!" Chris playfully punches him in the shoulder. Chef rolls his eyes.
"Whatever, man. I need to haggle for a raise…" He mumbles before taking a dive. He drops into the water with a big splash.
"Hahahaahaha! No way!" The host yells, shocked that he actually went through with it. "CHEF? ARE YOU ALIVE, MAN?"
Chef pops his head from under the water a few seconds later.
"...I can't feel my legs."
"What?" He yells back, getting a groan in response.
"...Yeah! Totally tested for safety with zero casualties."
[Confessional: Gwen]
"Hey, Adam. If I do end up dying here on this crappy reality show, and you end up "using" my underwear again, I'll haunt the fuck out of you."
[Confessional: Beth]
"Wow.. what a first challenge, hehe… Oooh, I knew this was a bad idea." She frowns.
[Confessional end]
"Well, in that case." Bridgette takes a deep breath in, then dives off the cliff. "Ahhhh!"
SPLASH!
The Bass once again waits on baited breath for her return from the depths. Thankfully, she landed in the safe zone and seems fine. She even waves to her team. "Come on guys! I believe in you!" She yells, receiving help up to the boat from Chef. Her team lets out a sigh of relief.
"You heard her, dudes! Wooohooo!" Geoff gets a running start before cannonballing into the air, falling just outside of the safe zone.
"Ooooh…" The campers cringe as soon as he hits the water.
Geoff jumps right back out of the water and swims as fast as he can to the boat. The carefree party dude seemed terrified. "Sh-shark!" Everyone gasps. Geoff climbs aboard the boat with help from Bridgette and Eva, just as a shark patrols past the boat. He heavily breathes, hugging Bridgette for dear life.
"Woah.. it's okay, easy.." She rubs his back assuringly, sitting him down. "We need a blanket, he could go into shock!"
"Does this look like a pleasure ship? All we got on here is a bottle of vodka and a life preserver that no longer preserves life." Chef shows off the two unhelpful items, looking stern and unfazed by Geoff's near death experience.
"Alcohol will do!" Geoff hurriedly stole the green, dirty bottle from Chef's hand and greedily sucked down half of it.
"Geoff, wait!" but it was too late. The girls and Chef watch him guzzle down the contents of the bottle before belching in Eva's direction. She growls, takes the bottle and throws it across the ocean.
"Hey! That was supposed to be saved for tonight's marinara sauce!" Chef yells.
Eva just looks at him, arms crossed. "He burped in my fucking face." Bridgette glares at her.
"Sorry, Ev', bro.. Hehe.. Eve. Kekeke.." Geoff takes a seat clumsily.
[Confessional: Bridgette]
"Okay, so far the first day sucks, but I'm not a quitter. Our teams are doing great so far and everyone seems really chill.. But oh my god, I did not sign up for this."
[Confessional: Eva]
"I'm not gonna sit between Barbie and Ken and just let them do that nasty shit around me. You don't push Eva Chantrey around."
[Confessional end]
"So.. who's up next?" Courtney asks, looking between her teammates while taking charge at the front of the line. Nobody seems too eager, all just looking between each other. DJ slowly fades to the back of the line next to Sadie and scratches his neck anxiously. Duncan smirks.
"Why not yourself, Princess?"
That nickname, that devilish stare, the sudden obvious question she was hoping she'd be able to dodge, it all caught her oh so off guard."What? Oh, um, well-"
"What's wrong, Courtney? You don't wanna jump?" Chris asks, appearing next to her, grinning ear to ear.
"I… I don't need to." She goes from a bit nervous looking down at the water below to a fixed, lawyer-like posture. "I've seen the other team," she continues, interlocking her hands. "I don't think many of them are going to jump." The Gophers look back at her as she stares triumphant over them.
[Confessional: Trent]
"Glad that girls not on my team. She reminds me of my dad. Oh, he's a lawyer, a real son of a bitch.. Who is watching this episode live.." Trent stares at the camera as an idea pops into his head. He smirks, "Hey, old man, look at me now! I'm gonna be famous, you douchebag! Try to run me out of the house for playing my music now!"
[Confessional: Gwen]
"You know.. She's not entirely wrong."
[Confessional end]
"Well if you're not going to jump," Chris pulls out a comically large chicken hat. "You'll have to wear one of these bad boys until the end of the day."
"Ugh.. fine." She puts the hat on, begrudgingly.
"Lookin' good, Courtney!" Duncan laughed. She rolled her eyes and walked behind him.
"I think it's kinda cool, eh."
"I don't…" Tyler shivered, pupils dilated.
"Well, if you can't jump, I guess it falls on me to do it for you." The delinquent walks up to the edge of the cliff, folds his arms and jumps. He makes it into the safe zone and gets on the boat.
Courtney turns back to her team, arms on her hips. "Okay, doing great so far. Hey, you, you're next. What's your name?"
"Chickens! I mean, Tyson! I mean, Tyler!"
Lindsay waves with her fingers from the other team. "Hiiii Tyson!~"
"AHHH!"
Tyler runs off the cliff, slamming his front violently against the water. Luckily, he makes it into the safe zone. Chef retrieves him.
"Hey, Tyler, you oka- woah!" Bridgette flinches back, dropping him just as she's done helping him to his feet. As he hits the floor of the boat, his arm flops out crookedly before himself.
"That's gnarly as hell." Duncan mutters, shaking his head with a chuckle.
"W-what? Is something wrong? I'm cool, it's cool, I'm fine!" He slurs, passing out almost immediately.
"Hahahaha! Tyler's funny, man." Geoff slurs back, pointing at him.
"Chef, Tyler needs a doctor!"
"No he doesn't." Eva cracks her knuckles. "His arm ain't broken; it's dislocated." a sadistic smirk crosses her face. Tyler looks up, blinking rapidly.
"Oh hey, Eva.. why does everything hurt so bad- OW! HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST!"
"Alright, campers. Who's up next?" Chris asks after wincing down at the scene of the two and recollecting himself.
"I'll go! To prove to my team we have what it takes!" Harold yells out a battle cry as he runs past Chris and jumps off the cliff, legs spread out and fists raised high. When he reaches the safe zone, his kiwi's smack right against the water. He screeches in pain, holding them as he sinks. His scream can be heard for miles.
(Confessional: Owen)
"Woof.. Suddenly feeling very hesitant on doin' this.."
(Confessional: Cody)
"I.. Ah- I mean.. Yowch!"
(Confessional end)
Harold is saved by Chef and seconds later, Ezekiel jumps down, flailing his arms while yelling for help before inevitably hitting one of the buoys surrounding the safe zone instead of the safe zone itself. He slowly slides off of it and hits the water. His hand is pulled up to the boat, leaving Izzy and Sadie the only two left to jump, but just as Izzy is getting ready to dive off…
Sadie bursts into tears.
"Sadie, what's wrong?" Courtney asks, hesitantly, already knowing the answer as Katie sniffles at her friend from across the cliff.
Sadie points at Katie and sobs, "I-I won't jump without Katie! I'll die!"
"Oh, me neither! I can't possibly go down there without you, Sadie!" The two hug each other, practically launching into one another with the speed of a bullet train, sticking to the other like glue. Courtney smacks her face, gritting her teeth. Chris grabs two chicken hats.
"Well, then I guess both of you are total chickens-"
"I'll switch places with her." Izzy raises her hand, catching the women and Chris off guard. The identical friends' faces light up as they grin from ear to ear.
"REALLY?" They ask in unison. Izzy nods, smiling coyly.
"Really?" Courtney questions, more towards Chris, asking him if it's possible. He shrugs.
"Why not?"
"EEEEHHH! HERE WE COME, KILLER BASS!" The girls screech excitedly, holding each other's hands while running towards the edge of the cliff. They maintain contact until they hit the water's safe zone and are collected by Chef Hatchet. Courtney and DJ watch as Izzy swaps teams.
"You guys are so goals!" Lindsay cheers, clapping her hands together. Heather rolls her eyes.
(Confessional: Courtney)
"Okay, DJ and I may not have jumped, but now at least Sadie isn't completely useless and the Gophers just gained a crazy, unpredictable, wackjob loose cannon. Things are starting to feel much more organized around here."
(Confessional: Sadie and Katie)
Recording from their phones, Sadie and Katie look into the camera.
"Oh my goodness gracious, guys! We just jumped off a super tall cliff!" Katie begins.
"Yeah! It was insane! Oh I wish we could record the whole thing live!" Sadie bounces.
"You'll just have to wait for the whole episode- eeeeh! This is sooo good! Sadie and I are together on the same team and everything!"
"Soooo cool, right? Sksk, gotta run, guys, love you!"
"Oh I love you guys more!"
"No, I-"
(Confessional end)
"Okay, Gophers, ten is the number to beat. If you do, you'll get a major advantage in the next part of the challenge. If you don't, the Bass gets that advantage and it might cost you a player tonight. But hey, no pressure." Chris explains, a plastic full grin on display as he speaks. The team looks uneasily at each other, aside from Izzy, who has already made a mad dash for the cliff.
"I'magoodrolemodel!" She descends rapidly, hitting the safe zone with ease.
"That's a good start. Good luck!" The host steps aside, leaving the Gophers to make their next play.
"Woo! Go crazy girl!" LeShawna cheers. Heather grimaces.
"There's no way I'm doing that." The raven haired teen declares. Her team gives her a look of annoyance, but LeShawna in particular looks quite frustrated.
"Why not?"
"Because, I'll get my hair wet."
"Ain't no way that's your only reason. Izzy did it, I'm gonna do it, that foolish white boy on the other team did it, you can too."
"Yeah, well unlike that shrimp dick, the insane girl or you, I have a reputation to maintain. Courtney gets it." Heather gives the Latina a side glance. She doesn't seem to notice, too busy making calculations in her head while DJ plays with the hat on his head.
LeShawna twitches.
"Hey, gals, let's calm down." Trent butts in, getting between the two when LeShawna looks more peeved than before.
"Calm down? She's gonna cost us the game!"
"Well, if she's not jumping, I won't either." Lindsay says, hands on her hips. "I don't wanna get my pretty hair wet either."
"And me? Uh-uh, no way." Justin offhandedly remarks, checking his nails while Beth and Owen gawk at him.
"Come on, guys.. We could lose!" Trent exclaims.
"Exactly! So come on, let's go!"
"No way in hell. Just because your weave might fall off and everyone might see if you're not the last to jump doesn't mean everyone else has to jump befor- hey! Let me go!" LeShawna grips Heather's wrist tightly, a ravenous look in the thick ladies eyes as she shoves her off the cliff as hard as she can, propelling her forward so hard that she does in fact make it into the safe zone, with many bumps and bruises along her skin.
"LESHAWNA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
"That's.. One way to deal with that problem." Trent mutters. LeShawna can't stop laughing.
"Hoo.. hey, I got you into the safe zone, didn't I? Now I hope I get in there too.." After a deep breath, LeShawna jumps off the cliff, proving her hair is real as she drops into the safe zone and is picked up alongside Heather and Izzy.
The team claps for LeShawna. "Alright! Go team!" Trent yells out as he follows the new fan favorite of the team, screaming out a "WOOOOOHOOOO!" As he free falls to the shark free circle.
Gwen rolls her eyes, closes them and takes a breath of air before following Trent down, screaming in fear as she does so. Noah follows shortly afterward, only his scream is much more lady-like.
"Linds, hey, Linds." Cody repeats, snapping his fingers in front of a distracted Lindsay on her pretty pink smartphone. She looks up briefly, her chest bouncing as her posture changes to look down at the brown haired perv.
"Aww, hi there, little boy! Are you lost?"
"W-what? I'm your age!" He responds defensively.
"Really? You look like my friend Lacey's adorable little brother. Are you not Andrew?"
"I'm Cody! Anyways, do you like hot guys?" He goes from annoyed to grinning like a playboy in seconds.
"Uh… yeah, who doesn't? I mean, aside from thespians of course, I totally don't discriminate or anything! Why do you ask?" She blinks, bubbles in her eyes. His jaw slacks.
(Confessional: Cody)
"Oh my God, is she actually that easy?"
(Confessional end)
"Then watch this: feast your eyes on the hottest guy you've probably ever met! Cody Anderson!" He looks back at her as he runs between Beth and Owen, jumping high before immediately regretting his decision and flailing in the air as he splashes outside of the safe zone. A shark swims up to him while Lindsay watches, sniffs him and immediately grimaces before swimming away. Chef picks him up.
"Does anyone else think he smells like the kids menu at Applebees or am I just like, really hungry right now?"
(Confessional: Cody)
"It's never that easy…"
(Confessional end)
Beth walks up to the edge of the cliff, looks down and gulps. She looks back at Owen, Lindsay and Justin, the last members of her team who have yet to jump.
(Confessional: Beth)
"It's simple.. If I just jump off the cliff, I could maybe make the hugest advantage for our team ever! Right from the get-go, my team would respect me and love me for helping win the challenge with my fierce bravery! Only problem.. I have a fear of heights.. And well- mild social anxiety would make any girl camera shy when she's face to face with a 1,000 foot drop and peer pressure.. D-didn't school tell us to avoid this kinda stuff?" She rubs her arm, looking down in shame.
(Confessional end)
"I… I can't do it. Sorry!" She admits. Chris gingerly places a chicken hat on her head.
"Bok-bok!" He mouths, putting his knuckles on his hips to imitate a chicken cluck. Noah, Duncan, Geoff and Izzy mimic this, directing it at her from the boat. She steps away from their line of sight before hiding behind Owen.
"Do I have to, you guys..?" Lindsay shakily asks her teammates, staring down the water.
"Does anyone have to do anything? I mean, haha, this is.. Really wicked, man." Owen nervously replies, twiddling his thumbs. Justin cockily sits on the edge of the cliff and picks at his fingernails.
"I'm not risking this temple of a body. One of you has to go."
"T-that's fair I guess.." Owen mutters, blushing.
"I'll do it!"
"Justin, brah, you admitting defeat?" Chris asks, readying the chicken hat.
"I sure am. Win for me, Lindsay. You too, Owen~" The hat is placed delicately on his perfect hair. Justin takes a selfie as Lindsay dives head first for the supermodel. She lands inside the safe zone, somehow, and gets saved by Chef after nearly drowning.
Owen walks up to the cliff, looks down and gulps.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"I'm thinking: if this guy actually ends up doing this.. He's gonna die."
(Confessional: Courtney)
"It was calculated! If the farm girl and superficial didn't jump, that meant we would tie and nobody would get any leg up, meaning we could crush those Gophers easily! But if he jumps..?"
(Confessional end)
"I'm going to die now. I'm going to frickin die now." Owen looks back at Chris and sags his shoulders, then looks down at the boat. His teammates cheer for him, with Heather particularly just telling him to do it rudely.
"It's okay, big guy; it's just a hundred G's." Chris taunts, walking away, stopping in his tracks and flashing the chicken hat with a menacing gleam in his eye. Owen looks back down at the fall, walks backwards, closes his eyes.. And roars as he makes the run and jump for it, destroying the safe zone and beaching the sharks swimming around the water whilst also forcing the boat to jump back to land.
"With that, we have a tie!" Chris announces on his megaphone. "I'll be down in just a minute, where our second half of the challenge will take place.. Right after this break!"
We see Chris standing in front of the cameras while two interns drive forklifts to dispose of six boxes, three of which are labeled with the Bass logo, and three with the Gopher logo. "Congrats, campers, for the first challenge in Total Drama history, it's a tie! This means nobody gets the advantage and instead the challenge will be as fair and balanced as possible. Which is lame. But fine," He clears his throat. "The challenge is simple: carry the boxes with your team's logo on it back to the cabins. Once there, part three of the challenge will start immediately, where you open the boxes and get started on your hot tub. Good luck!" Chris hops on an ATV and drives away while in the background, Chef cleans up the boat mess and drags the shark carcasses back to the mess hall.
Without a second thought, Eva lifts up one crate all by herself whilst Tyler, DJ, Courtney and Duncan push another one together and Harold, Zeke and Sadie and Katie help push the last one.
"Wait, Chris! Geoff is still intoxicated!"
"Not my probleeeem!" He shouts as he drives away. Bridgette groans.
"Hehe, chillax, Malibu! I can totally still function and shiz.." He tries to move even an inch and nearly falls flat on his face. She holds him.
"No way. Come on, I'll help you back to the cabins."
"We need help with these boxes, surfer girl." Eva aggressively comments as she slowly marches on.
"Geoff needs help now! Sorry, guys."
"I don't need help! I can help!" He pushes Bridgette off of him carefully so as not to hurt her. "C-come on, bro, let's help em!"
"Just take it easy.." She warns, guiding him to the box with DJ to cover for him while she helps push with the girls and the geeks. Meanwhile, Owen easily lifts a crate himself but has a much harder time walking with it than Eva.
"Aw man.. My ass totally hurts, dude."
"TMI." Noah flatly replies, walking with him while Heather, LeShawna, Izzy, Gwen and Lindsay push one crate and Justin, Beth, Cody and Trent push another.
"Oh come on, I bet yours does too!"
(Confessional: Noah)
"Look, I know how these things work, alright? Owen is such a fun and likable guy that if I ally myself with him it may prove useful. He's the kinda meat shield you need in a game like this, someone who can convince others you're a great person when the chips are down. Besides, he's sorta funny."
(Confessional end)
"Totally." He snarks, putting his hands in his pockets as he follows along. The teams are practically neck and neck for a good five minutes.. Until Geoff falls over on his back and starts snoring.
"Geoff? Geoff?" DJ calls, stopping his push to get down and help the intoxicated teen. Bridgette stops too, as does a majority of the players to see what happened. "Aw man, he's knocked out cold!"
"DJ, can you carry him?" Bridgette asks, helping him up to his feet.
"No way, don't carry him! We need to win this challenge!" Eva barks, not slowing down one inch. The Gophers take the lead.
"She's right, eh. We need as many guys as we can get in this challenge." Ezekiel gets many looks from the girls, skeptical of his word choice.
"Uh.." DJ scratches his neck awkwardly.
"Just shut up and push." Eva growls, abandoning her team in the dust.
"Geoff will be fine, Bridgette. We need to get back to camp." Courtney huffs between pushes.
"But.. Fine, I'll stay back with him. DJ, keep pushing." Bridgette carefully puts Geoff down onto the beach, taking off his hat. He drools as he sleeps.
"Yes ma'am." DJ does as told.
Meanwhile..
"H-hey, LeShawna?" Heather greets as she lifts the crate with her back next to Gwen, Lindsay and LeShawna.
"What do you.. Want?"
"I just wanted to say sorry.. For acting out.. You totally saved the team's butt today!" She grunts.
LeShawna blinks, surprised. "For real..?"
"Yeah.. I'd be toast if you hadn't.. Showed me some initiative.. Your earrings are gorgeous by the way.."
The loud and proud woman smiles. "Well.. thanks, girl.. You're forgiven."
"Don't mention it."
Lindsay looks at her in confusion.
"So.." Cody whispers to Justin. "Dude Time. Is it like.. Actually effective in picking up chicks?"
"I've never had to use it, I'm naturally very magnetic. But yeah, it totally works, little man."
"Well, I have a bottle on me at all times, and all it ever seems to do is draw chicks away." Cody shows off the cologne, spraying some on himself. Justin coughs quickly.
"That's because you can't rely on the bottle. You have to have confidence and a smile so award winning that the Gemmy's can barely stand the gleam in your teeth." To demonstrate, he smiles, teeth sparkling.
"Confidence and a good smile.. Got it." Cody nods, refocusing on the crate.
Beth giggles, blushing. "You're sho funny, Cody."
"Ha, yeah I know." He pays no mind to her.
Back at the Bass, Ezekiel stops suddenly, gasping for air. "I gotta take a whiz, yaknow." Without waiting for approval from his teammates, he struts off to the woods. Sadie and Katie stop pushing too.
"Ooh, me too!" Sadie mutters.
"Really? Oh my gosh, me too!" Katie says a bit louder, smiling down at her friend. They follow Zeke into the woods.
"Hurry up, we're far enough behind as is!" Eva yells. Courtney watches them go with contempt.
"They are so going home first." Courtney murmurs.
"What a positive attitude to have." Duncan says, shaking his head.
"I'm just being real. If it isn't one of the tweedle twins, it has to be the other."
"Who's to say it's not you? If you had jumped.."
"Please. If Izzy hadn't switched teams, we wouldn't have gotten Sadie to jump anyways. If we lose, my vote is with her."
Duncan points a finger into her side. "My votes on you if we lose."
"Guys, chill! Barely anything's happened. We can still pull this around."
"Yeah, dudes, have some faith. You have the master of the carpentry belt from Buildy Steve's Builders Camp on your team." Harold states, fixing his glasses as he and Tyler struggle to push by themselves.
"Plus, I was a CIT! You need me, at least."
"Whatever." He rolls his eyes. A half hour later, the Gophers do eventually make it to the cabins, sweat beading down their faces, splinters jabbed into their arms and legs and bottoms.
"Ah.. finally." Trent sighs, wiping sweat from his forehead.
"At last, destruction!" Izzy yells.
"That's right!" Chris drives up on his dinky ATV. "Gophers, start building! Where are the Killer Bass?"
"Waayyyy back there." Gwen points in the direction of the beach. Chris snorts.
"Fair enough!" Then he speeds away in that direction. Izzy jams her teeth between the crate's opening, immediately breaking the box.
"Damn! How'd you do that so fast?" LeShawna asks, shocked.
"Simple! I learned it in kindergarten- when I was trying to open the school cafeterias' supply of vanilla ice cream that you only get if you're reeeaallly good! Yeah I was a pretty bad kid, but oh my god, have you had that ice cream? It's to die for! Or I guess in this case go to detention for! Did I mention I'm not allowed in public schools anymore for breaking and entering in order to obtain over 12,000 lbs of ice cream that was meant for everyone else? Cause I am!" She laughs. Owen joins her laughter, finding her absolutely hilarious.
"That's so cool! I wish I had done that on free ice cream day. All I managed to do was eat everyone else's brownie mix in science class." The big guy replies.
"What were you using brownie mix for? Simulating dirt on graves?" He snorts and she just grins widely.
"Hehehe, noooo, I was trying to-"
Heather puts a hand on their shoulders. "Yes, yes, very endearing, Owen. We need to get these crates open now. Izzy?"
"On it, boss!" Izzy jumps toward the second crate and bites into the material. Eva walks up to the other cabin and settles her crate down, none of her teammates in sight. She begins ripping apart the crate.
Tyler, Sadie and Katie rejoin their team pushing the other two crates eventually.
"Ooh, I'm itchy.." Sadie says.
"Ugh, me too.." The duo begin scratching themselves, a red spot appearing on their rumps. Courtney just shakes her head at them as they're left in the dust, quite literally when Chris finds them on his ATV. Tyler struggles to push the crate with Zeke and Harold.
"You guys are way behind the other team. Like, way behind. What's the deal?"
"Our butts itch!" They say in unison. Chris looks around.
"Uh.. alright then. Where are Geoff and Bridgette?"
"Back there, because Geoff got wasted and passed out! You gotta help him!" Katie points backward, scratching herself like crazy.
"I do? I mean, sure, why not?" As he speeds away, the scratching gets worse.
"It's starting to burn!" Sadie whines.
"G-get in the water!" And the two do just that, rushing to dip their butts into the lake. They sigh as their skin cools down.
Chris drives up to Geoff and Bridgette, the former of which is still sleeping while Bridgette carries him on her shoulder. "Woah, he really is out cold."
"Chris, please, he needs to get his stomach pumped." Bridgette yells.
"Sure, fine, put him on the back." She helps him to a sitting position, leaning against Chris with drool falling out of his lips and onto Chris' back. "Sick.. You better hurry up, your team is totally losing right now."
"For real? Crap!" Bridgette makes a mad sprint for the cabins. We flash forward to the Killer Bass arriving at the campground, just as the Gophers finish the base of their hot tub.
Tyler tries to help hammer down a piece of wood for the base of the tub, but his arm snaps as he raises and hammers down a nail, causing him to howl as his arm gives out. Frowning, he sulks. "Sorry, dudes, my arm's busted.."
"Ughhh, this sucks! Come on, losers, pick it up!" Eva demands, still banging out the jets of the tub with Duncan's help. He recoils visibly from her volume, silently chuckling beneath his palm.
(Confessional: Bridgette)
"That Eva girl seriously needs to calm down."
(Confessional end)
The Gophers graciously pass a bucket of water assembly line style down to the hot tub, pouring some gradually into their finished tub. The water sizzles. To test it out, Heather sticks her hand in.
"Very nice." She grins.
Then there's the Bass tub, which is barely hanging onto a thread as the last drops of water are poured in. Ezekiel picks his nose. "Uh.. looks good, eh."
Chris drives up between the two hot tubs and looks between them. "You guys done? Alrighty then, Gophers you're up first." He gets off his vehicle and walks up to the Gophers' tub, inspecting it. The team doesn't look too worried, especially when Chris sticks his hand into the water and smiles. "This is perfect! Well done." The team cheers, high fiving and hugging each other.
"Hold on, you're not quite done yet," Harold starts, waving to their hot tub. "Presenting.. The Killer Bass's killer hot tub." A weak fan-fair blows.
"Who says you could present, loser?" Duncan asks, shoving Harold.
"Hey!"
"Silence, campers." Chris demands, walking towards the cracked up tub. It's leaking and a seagull is already swimming in it. Chris pokes the foundation and it bursts immediately, water rushing down the grass. The Killer Bass cringe.
(Confessional: Courtney)
Courtney faceplams and hisses.
(Confessional end)
"Well, uh.. I think we have our winner." He looks back at the Gophers and grins. "The Screaming Gophers!" The team cheers.
"Your reward for winning the challenge: getting to keep this wicked hot tub for the rest of the summer! And, tonight, we're gonna throw you an awesome party. You'll be allowed chips, soda, pizza and even.. Ice cream!" The cheers grow louder. The Bass lower their heads.
"Pizza..? Soda..? ICE CREAM? WOOOOOHOOOO!" Owen bear hugs Noah, crippling his back.
"L-let.. Go.."
"Killer Bass," he turns back to the loser team, "your meal tonight is at the mess hall. Prepared by Chef. I hope you all like shark easy over mystery porridge!" they groan, disappointed.
"Dang! I knew we should have swapped for one of the guys, eh." Ezekiel snaps his fingers, sitting down on the stairs of the cabin. The girls of the teams look at him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bridgette asks, eyebrow raised.
"Well, if we had more guys, our tub would be like, ya know, more fortified and sturdy. My pa would've known what to do, you know." Zeke nods matter-of-factly.
Eva grabs the redneck by his red neck and squeezes. "So what you're saying.. Is that if we had more men.. We would have won..?"
He chokes, "Uh.. yeah! I mean- er, you know, men are just stronger and smarter when it comes to building things, eh."
"Dude.." DJ whispers, face palming.
"Dude.." Duncan laughs.
"You know what I think, boy?"
"N-no, sir."
"AHHHHH!"
Eva proceeds to pummel Ezekiel, punching him in his poor, yokel face over and over until DJ, Tyler and Duncan try to pull her off. Chris watches, amused.
While trying to pull her off, Tyler snaps his arm again and falls to the ground.
"Tyson! No!" Lindsay runs to his side and comforts him. Finally, the boys pull her off with the help of Courtney and Bridgette.
"Eva! Enough!"
Eva gasps for air, pupils dilated. Ezekiel looks visibly terrified, shaking in his boots. While everyone is kind of just staring at the scene, Chris begins to laugh hysterically. All eyes are on him now.
"THAT. WAS. AWESOME! Do you see the look on his face? You terrified him, dude! Haha, hahahahahaa! Ah… if you were trying to win my heart and give you immunity, it almost worked. Might have. Head to the mess hall, losers, it's dinner time! Gophers, stay here while your food arrives."
We cut to the mess hall. Duncan, Courtney, DJ, Geoff, Bridgette, Harold, Tyler, Sadie and Katie sit at one table, in the middle. Eva sits at the same table, far removed from her teammates. Ezekiel sits alone on the other bench.
Duncan picks at his shark food, scowling before dropping his fork. "Prison food is better than this."
"Chyeah? I'd kill for some prison food right now." Geoff replies, hand on his chin.
"You're lucky to not be in a hospital right now, let alone juvie." Bridgette tells him, pushing away her plate. DJ does the same, looking particularly disgusted with the meal.
"Chillax, Bridge, you saved me and stuff, s'all good. So, uh.. What happened while I was out?"
"We lost the challenge. Duh." Courtney answers, picking at her food with a bored expression. "And nearly everyone is to blame."
"Yeah, nearly everyone.. Especially those two." Katie whispers, looking at Eva and Ezekiel.
"What did they do?" Geoff asks.
"Ezekiel made some really shitty comments about girls, and Eva was super bossy." Bridgette replies.
"And she beat the snot outta Zeke. That was uncalled for." DJ says, shaking his head.
"I vote Eva. She's a total bully. Besides, Zeke isn't all bad, you guys. He did help us. Unlike you two." Harold points at Sadie and Katie.
"What? We helped!" Katie deflects.
"We so helped!" Sadie adds.
"Yeah, but you also got poison ivy in the stupidest way possible." Tyler accuses.
"Yeah, following you into the woods!" Sadie points at him for emphasis. Tyler crosses his arms.
"At least I didn't lag behind."
"My vote's going to Princess here. Or the brickhouse." Duncan looks between a worried DJ and an offended Courtney.
"Seriously? Geoff got drunk and couldn't participate in the challenge, Ezekiel's a sexist moron, Eva assaulted him and was constantly talking crap, Bridgette, Sadie and Katie lagged behind constantly, Tyler dislocated his arm and Harold is.. Harold, and you want to vote ME out?" Courtney rants. Everyone looks at her with contempt.
"What, so you didn't do anything wrong? From where I'm standing, it looks like you and DJ are the only two wearing chicken hats here." The con replies.
"But- it's not my fault that-"
"AND, if we ever have to lift a truck.. I like our chances with the big guy. What can you contribute?" DJ smiles, nodding at Duncan.
"You need me! I was a-"
"We know, a CIT. Who do you suggest we vote for?" Bridgette asks, rolling her eyes.
Courtney looks between the two. Before she can make a decision, we cut to the bonfire ceremony at night. All eleven members of the Killer Bass sit on logs, most with baited breath and some (Duncan, Eva, Geoff and Bridgette) without any outward worry.
Duncan turns to Zeke, who he's sitting next to. "Dude, you got a lot to learn about the real world." Zeke frowns.
Chris stands before them all with a plate full of marshmallows. "Killer Bass: at camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat that you enjoy roasting by the fire. At this camp.. Marshmallows represent life."
Geoff silently mocks him to Bridgette, pulling an invisible noose around his neck before smirking at her cutely. She giggles behind her hand.
"You've all casted your votes and made your decision. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow tonight must immediately return to the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers. That means you're out of the contest... And you can't come back... Ever."
The campers look much more anxious now. Chris picks up a marshmallow, the fire cackling upwards and casting a shallow warmth that does little to comfort the chills going down many campers' spines.
"The first marshmallow of the night goes to…
…Bridgette."
The surfer girl gets up, smiling. She nabs her immunity with a stick and stands behind Chris.
"...Tyler."
"All right, place at the table!" He cheers, jumping up before throwing his marshmallow into his mouth.
"...Duncan."
Duncan quietly gets up and takes his marshmallow, popping it into his mouth.
"...Katie."
Katie squeals annoyingly, taking out her phone so she can take a picture with the plate of marshmallows. She grabs the treat and stands behind the others. Sadie cheers her on.
"...Harold."
"Yes!" He gets up, pricking his marshmallow with a stick.
"...DJ."
"Thanks, guys!" He chirps, grabbing his immunity.
Courtney fingers her thigh, nails digging into her pants so hard that she swears she's going to rip them. Ezekiel looks extremely worried, his bottom lip pouting. Eva glares at the marshmallows like she's trying to prematurely set them on fire. Sadie looks very worried that she may not join Katie. Geoff doesn't seem worried, still relaxing with his hands behind his back.
"...Sadie."
Sadie jumps up from her seat, grabbing her immunity before hugging Katie. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"...Eh.. Geoff."
"Woohoo! Alright!" Geoff runs up and collects his marshmallow, winking at Bridgette before consuming his treat. She smiles and shakes her head.
"Seriously?" Eva huffs, tightening her fists.
"...and Courtney." She sighs, relieved before collecting her immunity.
Ezekiel looks towards Eva. Eva glares back, then glares at her competitors.
"Campers: This is the final marshmallow of the evening." He holds it up, almost as if it were a weapon. Ezekiel shivers, sitting on pins and needles. Eva doesn't seem worried, her ego fueling a confidence that doesn't allow her to feel fear.
Seconds of intense waiting pass by. Chris holds up the marshmallow high, closing one eye whilst pointing the life status between the two, Zeke and Eva stand up and stare at it, hoping, praying that either one of them is chosen.
"The final marshmallow of the night goes to…"
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"Eva."
The bully girl steals the snack from Chris' hand and grins evilly at Zeke, who is visibly devastated. "Ezekiel. Can't say I'm surprised. The Dock of Shame is that a-way, my friend." He lowers his head, slumped over and walks to the dock. Chef peaks his head out of the boat as Ezekiel gets on. The boat drives off.
Chris turns to the remaining Bass. "The rest of you: enjoy your marshmallows. You're all safe.. For tonight."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"Did I really vote out Courtney? Nah. I voted for Eva. I just like seeing hot chicks get defensive and pissed off. I need something nice to look at while I run this place, don't I?" He grins.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"Yeah.. this camp pretty much still stinks. But, now that I'm here I might as well try to win."
(Confessional end)
We see Cody, Justin, Heather, Lindsay, Noah and Trent all sitting in the hot tub. Noah is reading whilst Cody makes a toast, standing up.
"To the Screaming Gophers."
"To the Screaming Gophers!" The others (aside from Noah) chant.
Gwen is leaning by the tub, sipping a drink while LeShawna, Owen and Izzy continue the chant, dancing badly whilst enjoying their victory.
Courtney, Bridgette, Eva, Sadie and Katie are walking back into the girls cabin. Courtney stops at the door and turns around to look at a camera guy recording them. "Are you recording this?" He nods. "Good. They can enjoy their little party all they want. But I'm gonna win this competition, and no one is gonna stop me."
Mid credits:
Ezekiel arrives at an exotic resort some five minutes after Chef begins driving. "Yo, this ain't my trailer." He tells the crazy cook.
"We ain't going to your trailer, pasty. This is where you'll be staying while the game continues. When the game ends, you'll go back home."
"So, like, I get a whole resort all to myself?"
"That's right. Until tomorrow, when another dummy gets sent here."
Ezekiel doesn't reply, but he's suddenly much more excited to be off the island. Sure, he missed out on money for his family, but at least he can have some fun in his summer vacation for once. Chef and Zeke leave the boat, then walk over to a table.
"Sittdown, kid."
"Uh.. okay." The two sit down. Chef takes out a pen and paper.
"Chris is having every contestant get interviewed after elimination. It's for the promos."
"Alrighty."
"Name?"
"Ezekiel Dunwoody, eh."
"What are your likes and dislikes?"
"Ooh, uh, I like my parents a lot, you know? Love 'em. I like MASSCAR, WWF, my cousins used to let me watch baseball with em, and I like playin' it too. I don't dislike much, ya know? Rain and snow, I guess. Makes my ma's joints hurt, and dad gets all cranky when we shovel, but I like the work, ya know?"
Chef sighs as he writes all of this down. "What is your favorite food?"
"Favorite food? Er.. lamb tastes real good, eh. Or deer."
"What is your dream job?"
"I wanna be a carpenter one day. Well, either that or a garbage man."
"Garbage man? Why?"
"Takin' out garbage is an early job, eh. Ya wake up early, ya do a service for people, end of job. Then I can go to my carpenting job afterwards. I'd love that, man!"
Chef groans. "Alright. Describe your home life."
"Back home is kinda small living, eh. I ain't no TV star or nothin', I'm just here for the money- or I was. My ma is a sweet lady, but my parents are old now. My pa works to the bone and he taught me everything I know."
"Everything? Even all that sexist talk?"
"I've never even heard that word before, eh."
"Uh.. alright. Last question: what would you do with the money?"
"I'd give it to my parents. Hopefully we wouldn't have to worry about money anymore." He sighs, looking down at his feet. "Can I go now?"
"Uh- y-yeah, whatever. There's staff and whatnot and- j-just get outta my face, man!" Chef sobs, pushing Zeke into a pool of water surrounding a bar before running to the Boat of Losers and driving away, truly touched by Zeke's answers. Zeke proceeds to flounder around the pool, look at the camera and shout:
"Sorry guys!"
Credits continue.
Written, directed and created by voice_from_under_the_covers and Gannon.
