A/N: I'm backkkkk. Hi, it has definitely been a while since I sat down and actually wrote anything. So, I decided to try get back into my writing by starting a new story. If you are new to my writing...Welcome! You are encouraged to read my other works if the fandoms interest you. Gentle warning that they have not been updated in some time, but will one day be finished. As usual; if you do not appreciate my work or the writing style or topic do not agree with you, kindly do not leave flames or insulting remarks in my comments section.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the world in which they were created. These rights belong to the author Richelle Mead. I merely like playing with the characters and storylines.

Inspired playlist for this chapter : Happy – The Daylights

Chapter 1

"Love fades...mine has..."

The words, although spat out through gritted teeth, were clear and loud. Loud enough that she could see the throng of Guardians that were tasked with watching him nearby shift in discomfit. They did not look like they wanted to witness what was happening any more than she wanted them as witnesses to her unexpected humiliation. For the brief moment that it took for the words to fully register within her brain, a flash of regret seemed to cross his face before it settled once more into his passive guardian mask. Whether this was due to the words themselves or his inability to control the sound level at which they had come out, she couldn't tell. Hell, it could have very well been in response to the absolute grief and agony that was no doubt being openly displayed through her expression. And yet he didn't take the words back.

She flinched back as if he had physically struck her, the words still echoing around the both of them and reverberating within her mind. It most likely would have hurt less if he had actually physically hit her, at least she was trained to deal with that kind of pain. But this...this felt like someone had taken a chainsaw to her soul.

Rose had often wondered what it felt like to be on the receiving end of one of their silver stakes, and she rather thought that the stabbing devastation that swept through her and now focused itself in her chest following his words, would probably be rather comparable. Through all of their arguments, all of the words exchanged between the two of them since he had been restored, he had never worded it like that. Dimitri had never outright told her that he no longer loved her...until now. Through all of the pain, angst, overall torture and trauma that she had survived through over the past few months; she had never foreseen a future in which Dimitri no longer loved her when he was once again a Dhampir. And then she realised...why should he? She was just a foolish girl that had sacrificed everything for the chance at a happy ending. Rose knew she should have known better, should have learned by now that someone like her would never get one of those.

Tears gathered in her eyes before she rapidly blinked them away and pulled her own guardian mask back up. She would rather be turned Strigoi before she let anyone in this church see Rose Hathaway breakdown and cry in public. She spun away from him, her hand tightly gripping the wooden pew that was in front of them so that she wouldn't collapse down onto the bench just behind her knees. Perhaps he expected her to continue to fight him, to needle him into conversing with her again. And the old Rose might have done just that, as she technically had just claimed that she wouldn't give up on him. Yet he had just shattered her entire existence in the blink of an eye, with curtly directed barbed words that were used to create as much damage as possible. Her own words were but a cruel whisper that passed through numb lips in retaliation, the only indication that he heard them the sharp inhalation of breath behind her.

"I should have left you as a Strigoi..."

It was the only thing that Rose could have said that had the possibility of causing as much emotional damage as he had just dealt her. She wasn't wishing him dead. She was stating that she should have left him in his soulless evil state, his soul forever stuck in purgatory. She didn't actually mean it, even after everything she had went through in order to bring him back, only for him to throw it back in her face thanklessly. She just needed to break him as much as he had just broken her.

Rose didn't stay to see his reaction, hastily making her way out of the aisle before running out of the doors at the back of the church. She only made it as far as a bench hidden behind one of the neighbouring Guardian buildings before her control burst and the tears started pouring down her face so hard that her vision became blurred. She stuffed her fist into her mouth, her teeth sinking into the flesh between her knuckles in an attempt to quiet the sound of her inconsolable sobs. This was her great reward? This is what she got after she risked and gave up everything to save the love of her life?

Rose was so blinded by her pain, her guardian reflexes were slow enough for her to only catch a flash of black hair before someone joined her on the bench and pulled her into a tight hug, their voice a quiet soothing hum against her ear.

" It's okay Rosie, it's okay just let it out..."

It seemed to take an eternity before her sobs eventually lightened, her fist dropping out of her mouth as the tears continued to trickle down her cheeks. She stared blankly at the imprints her teeth had made on her flesh as she slowly became more aware of her surroundings, watching in distracted fascination as the shadows cast onto the stone path in front of them flickered, distorting and moving as the flame within the lamppost behind their stationary bodies flared and moved as if alive.

"Careful Sparky, wouldn't want to break the lamppost now would you..", her voice was barely a croak, yet she couldn't help the tease. She considered Christian to be her brother, no matter their lack of blood relation.

"Oh you know me Rosie, I would just put the blame on you.", came the sarcastic reply from the dark-haired Moroi beside her. He was the only one that was allowed to, and could get away with calling her Rosie.

Rose snorted before once again lapsing into silence. Her eyes took in the area around them, flitting from one thing to the next in an effort to bring her breathing back under slightly better control. For the middle of Moroi daytime; in other words the middle of the human night, this part of court was surprisingly deserted.

"How did you find me?", it couldn't have been Lissa that sent him as she had been in yet another meeting in a bid to get Dimitri reinstated as a Guardian for the past few hours. In addition, the bond only worked one way, leaving Lissa no other way in which to locate her, especially this quickly.

" I followed you out of the church."

" The church? Oh...I didn't even notice that you were there today."

Unlike some that went to the church services for actual spiritual guidance; the only reason that Christian Ozera went to church was to remove the stigma and stain that his Moroi-turned-Strigoi parents had left on the rest of his family. However, if he had been in church...

"Did you...", she let her question hang, not needing to finish it before he answered quietly.

"Yeah I heard... I was sitting pretty close to you both. I'm pretty sure that it didn't go much further than his Guardians and me if it's any consolation? If it wouldn't have drawn Lissa's ire and set back their progress I would have lit him on fire for what he said to you though."

He followed his words with a nudge of his shoulder against hers, and the corners of her lips curved up slightly in some semblance of a smile. They might give each other shit non-stop but he was still the closest thing she had, and would ever have, to a brother.

Rose sighed in resignation. This day had started out bad and somehow just kept taking a turn for the worse. Even though it was the very last thing that she wanted to do right now she knew where she had to go and what she had to do right now, and yet she wished that she could just sit here with Christian in peace for a while longer, pretending like it didn't feel as if her entire world was crashing down around her in flames.

"I suppose I need to go and talk to Adrian...this isn't fair on him anymore, it never was. I never should have agreed to give him a chance in exchange for pay-rolling my trip to Russia. A few words from Dimitri and it's like my heart has been ripped from my chest and stabbed with a stake, and yet he's still the love of my life even if his love for me has faded. I don't love Adrian that way and I can't keep stringing him along when I know that I never will. I might as well rip off the bandaid now while my day is already in the trash and before he hears about what just happened in the church through court gossip. It would be better coming from me than from some other Moroi or Guardian."

"If that's what you want and think is best Rose. For once you need to think about what is best for you in this situation, not anyone else. If you need me I'll be waiting at Lissa's place, she should be returning from her meetings soon. Come by after you're done if you're up to it, I'm sure she will want to see you after you are finished with Adrian." He gave her one last hug before getting to his feet, his hand gripping her shoulder in a quick supportive squeeze before turning and strolling back down the grey stone pathway that led back towards the center of court.

Rose watched him go until he disappeared around the corner of the building, her tear-clogged eyes dropping to where her fists were clenched in her lap. She stretched her fingers out slowly, just staring at them for a moment before bringing them up towards her face to wipe away the wet tracks that her tears had left. She sighed deeply before standing from the bench, her steps slow as she maneuvered her way back towards the centre of court and therefore Adrian's apartment; simultaneously attempting to remain unnoticed while taking as many relatively unused walkways as possible. She was the one that had lit the match to the now dumpster fire that was her life, it was time for her to take responsibility for the resulting consequences.