Disclaimer: Lucasfilm, Bioware, Disney, et al. and whoever they sell the rights to next own Star Wars and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I write this for fun and not for any monetary gain.
Chapter 7: Nature of the Jedi
Much to the Sith couple's dismay, not every day was as interesting as learning a new lightsaber form. That day turned out to be the highest point in the torturous process of Jedi training. Many things slowly wore on their nerves through the next few weeks, not the least of which was the bullying that was carried out by the Jedi Masters. It was deeply ingrained into Jedi culture, as generation after generation of Jedi berated their students to "build character" and "keep them humble." Despite the ubiquitousness of this behaviour, few saw the need to mention it in the history books.
One day, the couple was training in the temple when an old Jedi Master walked past. Nemo, Revan thought, having recalled this particular Jedi during his own training over a decade ago. After some pointless unsolicited remarks from the Jedi about the beauty of nature, he introduced himself to the pair, confirming his suspicions.
"Greetings, Master Nemo," the Sith apprentice forced herself to say. "It's good to see you again." Revan noted her lack of enthusiasm.
"And you, dear one, as always. Have you learned to control your temper yet, girl? Or does your master still douse you with a bucket of water?" the old Jedi Master asked mockingly out of the blue, finishing with a sneer.
"Ah…" Bastila was unsure how to reply. She hadn't done anything and the Jedi Master was already making fun of her. In less than a second though, she was rudely cut off.
"As I thought," the Jedi Master laughed in her face. "Don't worry, I am sure you will learn in time. Have patience. Is there something I could help you with?" he asked again, with false sweetness.
The Sith Lord watched the exchange with anger, though he hid it well. "No, master," he said meekly. The old Jedi looked at him, shook his head, and left.
He took a deep breath, an action that Bastila copied. He closed his eyes and reached out to her mind. I had forgotten the childish put-downs and bullying from the Jedi Masters… he sent to her mentally. The constant insults and belittling that you must take emotionlessly, lest they accuse you of "turning to the Dark Side" and torment you even more.
The secret Sith apprentice was a bit shocked at the mental contact, but quickly recovered. Reaching back, she replied, Indeed… Jedi Masters are petty, and yet no Padawan or Knight would dare stop them, while the other Masters don't care. Nemo likes to target me… She closed her eyes in reflection, sending a jumble of half-formed thoughts back to him. To think I was once willing to put up with all this… for the promise of protecting the galaxy. Although the resentment… I knew I would have become one of them eventually, and the cycle would continue. For all the preaching about how 'the Dark Side is evil' because it leads to suffering, the Jedi would do this to each other…
The hypocrisy of the Jedi shouldn't be surprising at this point. But remember, my apprentice, the consequences here are more than hurt feelings or a bruised ego—when on a mission, a belittled Padawan would never offer up suggestions or call out the Jedi Master's mistakes, and that could be the difference between life and death, the Sith Master noted. This is why I trained my Sith to never do this—not just because being an asshole is bad, but also because it could cost you your life.
I understand, Master, she nodded. Honestly though, I think Jedi like Nemo would rather die than be proven wrong or less capable than their students. I don't know how they could be so toxic, but they are.
Yet another reason we fight against the Jedi, he noted.
Indeed, Master. I wish I could wipe that cruel smile off his face, Bastila remarked. Not that there is anything we can do, not right now. What should I do with my anger?
Save it, he stated. Remember it, but don't dwell too hard on it. Unleash it when we finally give the Jedi Masters what they deserve, but don't let it consume you in the meantime.
Yes, Master. Can you actually get a significant amount of power from those bottled-up emotions?
Never underestimate what years of resentment can bring. When I liberated slaves during the wars, they unleashed all of it and fought for their own freedom with such vigour that the oppressors never stood a chance. Those same oppressors never realized they were bringing about their own doom the whole time, little by little. The Jedi will have their due, he declared.
Despite the boredom and bullying, Revan managed to get extra "tutoring sessions" with Bastila, in which he continued to teach Vaapad. He took the opportunity to teach a few more Dark Side powers and techniques as well, including illusions as he had promised on Taris. Unfortunately for the Sith apprentice, no demonstration or practice could be done, since they were too close to the Jedi Council for comfort, and neither wanted to risk being caught when they were so outnumbered.
Still, he made it up to her by sharing his memories of him using the techniques, allowing her to observe them from his perspective. It was rather disorienting for her to feel everything from his perspective, but he could not really mentally project a clear third-person view. He suspected this might end up helping her more than letting her figure out the details that couldn't be explained with words, but without testing out the techniques, he could only speculate.
They also took time to share with each other memories from their years apart, mostly through shared dreams at night. Bastila relived some of the greatest battles of the Mandalorian wars through Revan's eyes, while he watched her grow to be one of the best in the Jedi Order, despite the Council holding her back. They had also discovered a technique to control the other's dreams, making them less disorienting. It also allowed the other to fast forward through the uninteresting parts. Overall, they found their Force bond to be a great asset.
However, despite their happy moments, they still suffered greatly under the restrictions.
"Master," Bastila pleaded. He had just shown her another overpowered Dark Side combat technique that she wanted to try out so much, yet she knew it would blow their cover—the dark emotions needed generated a signature that the Jedi could easily sense, unfortunately. All she wanted was to try out some Dark Side power, any power. "Is there something else that I could try?" She dropped to her knees, looking up at him with pet kath hound eyes. "Please?" she pleaded. Of course, she also enjoyed kneeling in front of her Master.
"You do realize that begging is a behaviour unbecoming of a Sith apprentice?" the Sith Master asked, noting her actions.
"Yes, Master," she confirmed. "I am begging, not as your apprentice, but as your slave." She couldn't help but smile at the thought. "I will never kneel for or beg anyone else."
"Okay, just checking," he nodded, before answering her question. "I am afraid there is nothing Dark that the Jedi Council won't be able to sense at such distances…" he sighed, hating to disappoint his eager apprentice.
"Is there anything that's not Dark then? Something neutral—or even Light, perhaps—that the Council refused to teach?" Bastila wondered.
"Now that you mention it, yes…" Revan smiled, rather pleased. "Yes, there is a very useful power that the Council refuses to teach… They are so afraid that teaching the technique could make their own members too powerful should they 'turn to the Dark Side'—so afraid that they pretend the technique doesn't exist. So many lives would have been saved during the Mandalorian wars, if my Jedi followers had learned the technique years ago…" He closed his eyes and remembered the faces of those promising Jedi that had died too soon. They would all have made good Sith.
"What is it, Master?" the apprentice asked, curiosity taking over her frustration.
"There is a technique to block blaster bolts…" he explained. "Actually let me just show you…" The couple sat down in a meditative pose, and he showed her memories of him freezing a maelstrom of blaster bolts in mid-air in various battles with a simple stop gesture. He also demonstrated a variant of the technique, erecting a temporary shield around a person so that almost all incoming fire splashed uselessly. It had the advantage of leaving both hands free, but was more risky. "The same technique can work to protect yourself somewhat against grenades. It also could be used to make Force Lightning and lightsabers burn less, but I wouldn't count on it. The best defence against those is to not let it hit you."
"Is it really as easy as it looked, Master?" Bastila asked angrily when he finished the virtual demonstration. "Because if it is, it's criminal to not teach this!"
"It's harder than it looks, but not that difficult. Most people can master the technique after a month or so," he answered. "I agree with you, the Jedi Council is criminal, but I don't think it surprises either of us."
"No, it shouldn't be a surprise…" she admitted. "I just think they wouldn't sink so low."
"They will get what they deserve one day," he promised, "but for now, you should learn this power." He quickly summoned a blaster to his hand with the Force. "Of course, firing at you would be irresponsible, I will deliberately miss for now. Try to protect the wall."
After an hour of practice, Bastila could block an incoming blaster bolt relatively easily. After a few more hours of training, she could deflect at least ten bolts at once… as long as she concentrated on them. She also began to discreetly keep a shield around her person for practice, and her Master would occasionally fire stun bolts at her to test it. It was too exhausting to keep the shield up for the rest of her life, but it was a good way to master the technique.
Finally, Revan recited the hated Jedi code to Zhar Lestin and constructed a rather basic lightsaber. It was far below what he would consider a decent weapon, but since he didn't want to arouse any suspicions, he made the simplest one he could with the intention of upgrading it later. He chose the blue crystal, just like what he did when he was younger. He did not regret the decision, since he learned plenty about combat as a Jedi Guardian. He was still able to study the subtleties of the Force by night, after all. Looking back, had he chosen another path, he would have wasted time learning the Jedi dogma about the Force, instead of studying a wider view of the Force that included the so-called "Dark Side." In his time after leaving the Jedi, he learned enough about the Force to rival any Jedi Consular he would run across. And besides, Bastila's yellow blade complemented his blue blade well, so he might as well return the favour, at least for now.
Finally, the Jedi Council sent him on a mission to cleanse the taint in the Grove outside. This was the final part of his training. When he returned, Bastila asked him how it went. He thought back to the encounter…
Revan parried wild and unfocused swings with his blue Jedi blade and twisted the red lightsaber out of the Cathar woman's hands.
The feline woman looked incredulous, "You... you are strong. Stronger than me, even in my darkness."
The Sith Lord almost snorted. The "darkness" he was supposed to cleanse turned out to be a Padawan turned wannabe Sith, toying with a red lightsaber, most likely made with one of the crystals in the nearby cave. Still, he felt it best to deal with this the Jedi way. Just like spewing dogma on tests for the marks… "Who are you?" he inquired.
"I am Juhani, and this is my grove. This is the place of my dark power. This is the place you have invaded. When I embraced the Dark Side, this was where I sought my solace. It is mine!" she said with a crazed look.
He wanted to facepalm. The whole thing felt unreal, although he supposed the dramatics would be nice on the holoprojector. Still, he had a job to do, so he asked, "Why did you embrace the Dark Side?"
"When I slew my Master, I knew I could never go back. And now I revel in my dark power." She continued quietly, "Power enough to crush the life from someone such as you... or so I had thought..."
The real Sith tried to not laugh and instead stated, "The Jedi Council wanted me to cleanse the taint from the grove."
"The Council has sent you here to kill me? Why, then, when you bested me so easily, did you not simply finish your task? Is it not apparent that I can never be saved?" she asked incredulously.
"I have no desire to kill you," he reassured her, while trying to find out how this situation came to be.
"You… don't?" she asked with shock. "I am pathetic. I sit here and think myself to be great by embracing the Dark Side, but I am nothing! There is no way I could be turned back! I always thought they held me back and were jealous of my power. But it is only because I was not good enough to meet their standards... I never have been," she said in self-recrimination.
And you think you would meet the standards of the Sith like this? the Dark Lord of the Sith thought sarcastically. Still, he wondered if he could convert her to his side. In her current mental state, it wouldn't be difficult to convince her to continue down her path to its logical conclusion, but would that be a true belief or one out of desperation, a result of her feeling that she had no choice? Would she be like Bastila with the Jedi, clinging onto their teachings because they took everything away from her? The moment she had him back and he offered her a way out, she renounced it all, becoming a true believer in the Sith. What good was a convert that would turn back the moment she was given a choice? He supposed he could teach Juhani his idea of the Sith, given all her exposure to the Sith was Jedi propaganda. She was essentially embracing all the Jedi denounced as evil, and it looked more humorous than serious to him. Was it worth it then, to continue on this foundation, or to shatter it and start anew?
More practically, how closely was he being watched? The Council didn't send Bastila with him, which meant they didn't trust her fully when it came to him. Yet, he was under no illusion that he wasn't being watched. He doubted the Jedi would simply trust Juhani's testimony when he convinced her to return, which he had no doubt was the Jedi's true objective in his training. Still, he doubted he could return without her and still complete the training. The Jedi surely weren't that desperate as to send someone they believed was "falling to the Dark Side" to find the Star Forge, on the off-chance that he'd allow its destruction… No sense in taking that risk, in which case Juhani must return and be subjected to grilling from the Jedi Council that she couldn't possibly resist in her current state, inevitably betraying him. No, he had to complete this test the Jedi way, shattering the wobbly foundations of the Dark Side in her. There's no harm in highlighting the worst parts of the Jedi dogma though… He took a deep breath, focusing himself on that goal.
"Well, now you know your limitations, you can overcome them," he started wisely.
Juhani responded sadly, "I only wish the cost of my ignorance hadn't been so high. I wish my Master had not died because of me."
"There is no death, there is only the Force," the Sith Lord quoted. "Your Master may no longer be among us, but now she shall join the Force for as long as the Force itself endures. Rejoice for all who transform into the Force, for they are saved from all the pain and suffering of life." Perhaps this is why the Jedi do nothing to help the people, because they die and stop suffering… he couldn't help but think.
"There's so much I would say to her... So much I would apologize for…" she whispered. "If you are in the Force, I hope you can hear me… I am sorry, Quatra."
And suddenly, Revan recalled walking past Quatra during his "training" a week or so ago, recognizing her from the old days. Sure, she wasn't at her best, but she was most certainly alive. "Out of curiosity, when did this happen?" he asked.
"A few weeks ago…" she answered weakly.
"I saw Quatra alive a week ago… She must have survived."
"Impossible!" she shouted in denial, "I struck her down with my own lightsaber!"
"Did you actually see her die?" Revan asked.
"Well, no…" She seemed to believe it, but she continued with a sigh, "but I still attacked my Master, they won't accept me back."
"The Jedi forgive all who would return to the Light," Revan declared. "It doesn't matter if you've attacked your Master. It doesn't matter if you've killed many people. It doesn't matter if you've enslaved thousands of sentients or violated them in the worst way possible. It doesn't matter because there is always a spark of good, a hope for rebirth, in every sentient, no matter how evil. Anyone who turns back to the Light, who embraces that spark, is embraced in return by the Jedi." In these circumstances, justice is merely an afterthought… Revan thought to himself. The Jedi would do all they could to prevent the victims from getting it.
"What? Really?" Juhani asked, the hope clear in her tone. In her desperation, she ignored what he implied, but his words would stay with her.
"I have no doubt that if Revan or Malak of all people renounced the Dark Side, the Jedi would take them back, despite everything they've done," he stated. He actually doubted the Jedi were foolish enough to fall for it, but that was their official position. "If the Council could forgive all the evil Malak has wrought upon this galaxy, there's no way they wouldn't accept you."
"I will return to the Council, then. I shall submit myself to their judgement," she decided. "I hope that they will forgive me like you say they will."
"I have no doubt," the Sith declared.
"I had honestly thought I saw the lowest the Jedi could sink to when they tried to wipe my mind, but no, they managed to disgust me even more," spat Revan.
"What happened?" his lover asked, concerned.
He quickly recounted what happened in the Grove and elaborated, "From what Juhani told me later, the whole situation was just a test for her to 'help her understand the Dark Side,'" he made air quotes as he spoke and continued, "and also a test for me, evidently. Tricking someone into believing they had killed someone dear is the kind of thing you use to break uncooperative prisoners, not the kind of thing you use on students," he spat out. "And this doesn't even take into account how many villagers died in kath hound attacks that came as a result of this Jedi-made disaster."
Bastila felt sick to the core. "Why do people still believe in the Jedi? This 'test' sounds like the stuff they always claimed the Sith did to their students."
"I genuinely don't know. Propaganda? Brainwashing? Juhani herself claimed that she trusted their wisdom and refused to question it despite my efforts," he sighed. "Even Carth finds this ridiculous."
"That might be because he still resents the Jedi Council for not coming to the Republic's aid during the Mandalorian wars…" she observed.
"You may be right," he agreed. "At least I passed this ridiculous test…"
"Do you think the Jedi even thought of the pain they caused the residents of Dantooine? With their loved ones killed by corrupted kath hounds…"
"There is a certain Jedi Master that would actually have said 'rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force,'" emulated the Sith Lord with disgust. "I didn't just make it up to sabotage the Jedi."
The apprentice shuddered at the blatant disregard for life. "They surely care little about lives—especially innocent ones—for an order that claims to value all life and preaches redeeming the Sith when possible instead of killing them…"
"Honestly, they seem much more willing to 'redeem' the leaders instead of the minions," Revan observed. "Surely, the minions are less 'guilty' and easier to 'redeem'? I suppose the Jedi don't care about disposable minions… A powerful Sith will be a much greater asset to the Jedi once recruited compared to a random, faceless acolyte."
"Yes, disgusting really," she agreed. "Still, the Jedi and so many people appear to believe the Council's infallibility… to the point where they'd trust in the Council no matter what evils they are asked to do…" She paused and an idea entered her mind, "I know you decided against it in the Grove, but maybe we can recruit Juhani to our cause later, once we convince her of the truth: that her troubles came from the Jedi."
"If there is opportunity, of course."
"So tomorrow, we go to the ruins and find the Star Map so we can leave?"
"Yes, but there are some things I would like to deal with. There are some Mandalorian raiders around, and I have dealt with some, but not all of them. They are killing the settlers around because they could, and just like always, the Jedi refuse to act. I promised that farmer Jon, whose daughter they murdered, that I would deal with them," he answered, his tone making it clear exactly how he planned on "dealing" with them.
Bastila made a vomiting noise in disgust. "Okay, I'll cut them down myself with you. They don't deserve to live if they are just going to murder innocent people for their idea of 'sport.' Anything else?"
"The lightsaber crystal cave. None of my lightsabers have good upgrade crystals."
"I could probably use some upgrades on mine too. Anything else?"
"Remember Ahlan Matale complaining to the Jedi Council about the loss of his son?" she nodded. "When I passed by the Matale estate on the way to the Grove, I found the body of Casus Sandral, killed by kath hounds. I am sure this had something to do with the feud. I wouldn't be surprised if Nurik Sandral thought Ahlan Matale had something to do with the loss of his son…"
"What does this have to do with us?" she asked. "Oh, I see, you want to convince one or both of them that the Jedi Council is to blame for that disaster."
"Yes, it would serve our purposes rather well if such individuals could be convinced to cause the Jedi trouble. Turning the public opinion against the Jedi would prove invaluable when we turn on them. Besides, Ahlan Matale offered me a thousand credits to find his son, and we could use the funds in our quest."
"Yes, indeed," the Sith apprentice agreed. "Actually, how did you even get all that money after you crash landed on Taris? Presumably you didn't bring a suitcase of credit chips into the escape pod?"
"Well, I sold some looted weapons for credits. I also went into the Taris dueling ring, basically destroyed everyone there under the alias 'the mysterious stranger,' and got quite a bit of prize money."
"That was you?" Bastila asked in surprise. "I heard the Vulkars talk about 'the rising star in the duelling ring' during my regrettable imprisonment, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised it was you. If that's the case though, then you fought an illegal deathmatch too? With Bendak Starkiller who killed hundreds of challengers?" She knew how capable he was and that he obviously survived the encounter, yet she couldn't help but feel a bit worried for her beloved.
"He was a Mandalorian who fought in the war. Yes, he was decent, but the fight was rather underwhelming after killing Mandalore himself in single combat, even if I had to use a random vibroblade instead of my trusty lightsaber," he reassured her. "As for the illegal aspect, I was actually claiming a long-standing bounty on him placed by the occupying Sith authorities, so they were unlikely to go after me for that."
"Sorry, I know you must have thought it through…" she apologized. "I just can't help but worry. I guess the worst they'd do is put a bounty on you, and no one would be foolish enough to claim it when they didn't dare claim the one on Bendak. Still, it's a bit ironic though, that you claimed a bounty placed on a criminal by committing the same crime."
"Well, yes. Still, the fact that deathmatches were banned under the Sith occupation gives me hope that some still care enough to stop such barbaric practices—unlike the Republic. That means Malak hasn't won yet."
"Let's hope that remains the case… So what else did you do?"
"I also did a few bounties on a few other criminals. And I also managed to get a good sum by selling a sample of the rakghoul serum to the Exchange."
"You sold it to the Exchange? But then no one could afford it…" Bastila looked confused. "Why?" Many would have been outraged by such an act, and she would too if it was purely for greed. However, she trusted Revan—even though she couldn't think of a good reason for such an act, she would always give him a chance to explain himself.
"I actually only gave the Exchange half of the sample I had. We needed the credits to buy a ship on the black market, which was my original plan before Canderous offered the Ebon Hawk. I was going to give the other half to an honest doctor for mass distribution right before we left, so the Exchange wouldn't be able to hunt me down for double-crossing them. Unfortunately, we did not have the opportunity to do that before Malak decided to destroy the planet." He sighed. "I guess it did render the serum unnecessary. The sample is still stashed on the Ebon Hawk, and one day it might prove useful."
"Given the circumstances, I think you did the best you could have done," she concluded, rather relieved. "Did you do anything else sketchy?"
"Well, I also bought a pazaak deck and earned a bunch of money…"
"I didn't realize gambling with pazaak is that good of a way to make money," she frowned. "If you have bad luck, you lose no matter how good you are."
"The Jedi weren't exactly wrong when they say that there is no luck, there is only the Force," Revan noted with a grin.
"I am sure they would wish they were wrong when you used the Force to gamble," she grinned back. "But how exactly do you use the Force to do it, given that it's impossible to win with a bad hand?"
"You try to feel what would happen when you shuffle the cards. You stop shuffling when you the Force gives you a good feeling about the game."
"How did you figure this out? I can't imagine you'd do research on this."
"Well, at some point during the Mandalorian wars, I wanted to take my mind off a particularly ugly battle, and one of my officers asked to play a game with me. Not gambling of course, just for fun. I decided to take the opportunity to perform some… research," he explained. "Unfortunately, though not surprisingly, no one wanted to play with me afterwards."
"I can't imagine why…" she replied with an impish grin.
A/N: Bastila's unpleasant interaction with Nemo is coded into the game and voice acted, but it is not reachable without cheats. In the game, as soon as you arrive on Dantooine, Bastila leaves your party and stands around in the Jedi enclave until your Jedi training is complete, at which point she could once again be part of your party. However, at that point, Nemo leaves the courtyard and dies in the ruins. To see it, turn cheats on and run warp danm14aa in the console while Bastila is in your party on Taris then speak to Nemo near the entrance to the Jedi enclave.
This was probably an oversight since video game testers would definitely be using cheats to warp around, allowing them to test the dialogue. A full run of the KotOR takes multiple days, so certain side quests and dialogues were probably never tested as a whole, especially given the time constraints. As a rule, software is never on time, and the game was delayed enough during its development cycle already, so they had to cut corners. The video game industry is notorious for ridiculous overworking during "crunch" time right before release, often without compensating the already underpaid workers, especially testers. There were more egregious bugs in the game that made its way into the final release and had to be fixed by community patches, such as the fact that if you speak to Bastila after she sleeps with kisses your character, she completely forgets your whole relationship on the Star Forge. This was part of the canonical gameplay path too. (I heard it had something to do with the dialogue option incrementing a counter, and the code in the Star Forge portion only comparing for equality, or something like that. An obvious bug and a trivial fix, if only they had the time to test it properly…)
Speaking of cheats, a hilarious one is dancedancemalak, clearly meant for testing the ending without going through the trouble of fighting Malak. When used before you enter the final room, Revan just waves his hand and turns Malak into a Twi'lek dancer, and they proceed to dance for a bit before the victory sequence triggers.
Anyways, as you can probably tell, I annoyed by how George Lucas pulled some of the most toxic aspects of Asian culture into the Jedi, namely the idea that elders (i.e. Jedi Masters) know better and youngsters (i.e. Padawans) must defer to their authority and never question the teachings or talk back, and portray the failure to adhere to such as leading to the Dark Side and great evil. Having grown up in such a background, I feel that this simply makes elders arrogant and juniors hesitant to point out obvious problems, resulting in a failure that proves detrimental to everyone, with the juniors taking the blame in the end too since the elders could do no wrong. I've been learning about aviation accidents (it's a really good example of safety culture and finding the real problems instead of focusing on cover-up) and I was struck by how this cultural attitude led to many avoidable plane crashes, and that inspired Revan's specific warnings. And don't get me started on how Yoda thinks tragic deaths are awesome…
Also, the technique for blocking blasters refers to the Force power in the game called "energy resistance," which (partially) protects you from the first 15 points of damage from every sonic, fire, cold, or electrical attack, and "improved energy resistance," which does the same for your entire party. Apparently, it's not documented to protect you from energy attacks (which is what lightsabers and blasters do) despite the name, but it nevertheless does so, rendering blasters effectively useless against you. I consider the code to be the ultimate source of truth, since it describes what would actually happen in game, as opposed to what someone thought would happen, therefore this power exists in this story. Given the stuff Darth Vader did with blasters in The Empire Strikes Back, I think it's fairly reasonable.