The square was packed with the residents of Paris. Atop a stage stood a Romani man, Clopin Trouillefou, dressed in his jester attire from the Feast of Fools. "Gather round, everybody! This announcement is to die for!"
Esmeralda rolled her eyes. Her foster brother thought he was so clever with all his puns. Really, did he have to carry his dark humor over from the Court of Miracles?
"We have received orders to gather two characters, a male and a female, from each of the fandoms the author Tales From the Cluttered Desk writes for," Clopin continued. "These characters will participate in a televised event known as the Fandom Games! They, along with eighteen other characters—-let's call them tributes, for simplicity's sake—-will compete in an arena to survive on their own and fight to the death!"
The crowd began to murmur. This is ludicrous, thought Esmeralda. Who put him up to this?
Clopin went on talking, ignoring the crowd's reaction. "Now, let's find out who the tributes from HoND will be! Ladies first!" He bounced over to a wooden stand on which were two bowls filled with slips of paper, one for males and one for females, names of the characters from HoND. He stuck his hand in the bowl for the ladies and quickly drew out a name. "Esmeralda! Come on up to the stage!"
Esmeralda felt frozen. She should have been prepared for her name to be called; she was one of the few female characters in this fandom. But it was hard to walk up to Clopin's side, knowing that she was marching to certain death. Clopin held out a hand to urge her on, but Esmeralda saw that he was also filled with grief that she had been reaped.
When she was standing on the stage at his left side, Clopin spoke again. "Now, the rules of reaping state that any other female can volunteer in the place of another female; likewise for males. Is there anyone who would like to volunteer to take Esmeralda's place in the Fandom Games?"
Esmeralda searched the crowd. She met the eyes of Fleur-de-Lys Gondelaurier. The other girl regarded her with a cold stare. After a few more moments of waiting for someone to step up and take her place, Esmeralda knew she was going to have to play these dangerous Games.
"Alright, then, for our male tribute, we have," Clopin paused as he read the name on the paper, "Claude Frollo!"
Could things get any worse? With Frollo competing in the Games, Esmeralda would be dead in a matter of minutes! That is, if Frollo didn't decide to enjoy himself with her once he caught her.
Frollo stepped onto the platform on Clopin's other side and cast Esmeralda a lecherous smile. The young woman shuddered.
"Any volunteers?" Clopin asked.
"I volunteer!" Esmeralda scanned the crowd in search of her savior, and saw Pierre Gringoire raising his hand. She resisted the urge to sigh at the hapless poet. At least now she wouldn't have to worry about Frollo in the arena.
"Come on up!" Clopin waved Pierre forward, and he ascended the steps to the stage with bounding strides. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the tributes of HoND: Esmeralda and Pierre Gringoire!" Clopin's enthusiastic announcement was met with weak applause, mostly coming from Frollo and Fleur-de-Lys. "Happy Fandom Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor."
A faun approached the four thrones in the Great Hall of Cair Paravel. He bowed low before the kings and queens of Narnia. "Your majesties, Tales From the Cluttered Desk has issued an order that one female and one male from each of her main fandoms must be offered as tribute in a fight to the death she calls 'the Fandom Games.' I have with me the names of the tributes that are to come from our own glorious land of Narnia." The faun donned a pair of spectacles and recited the names on the cards he carried with him. "Lucy Pevensie and Edmund Pevensie."
The two that had been named cried out in dismay. Their siblings stood up from their thrones. "What sort of cruel joke is this?" Susan berated the faun. "You can't expect us to offer up our siblings like some kind of sick sacrifice?"
"Tales says she is under orders, and that the reaping must take place," the faun explained dejectedly.
"Aslan would never allow this," Peter protested.
"I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do!" the poor faun wailed.
"I know, and I don't hold anything against you," Edmund said, standing up. "If I have to go, I'll protect Lucy with my life. I promise."
"Sire, if I may, I would like to suggest a way to give you an advantage in these Games," the faun offered.
"Speak," Edmund said.
"Each tribute is allowed to take one thing from home into the arena with them. Your sister's vial of healing cordial could prove to be very useful. Tell her to bring that as her district token."
Edmund nodded. "I will. Thank you for the advice."
Hi, it's me, Tales. We're just going to skip over the Princess Bride, Prydain, Frozen, and Encanto reapings. It'll just get repetitive, so you're welcome. I'll just give you a rundown list of who was reaped from what fandom:
The Princess Bride—-Buttercup and Fezzik
Chronicles of Prydain—-Eilonwy and Fflewddur Fflam
Frozen—-Elsa and Hans
Encanto—-Mirabel and Camilo
"I'm looking for two people to share in an adventure," Gandalf announced.
"Haven't you done this already, Gandalf?" Bilbo asked wearily.
"And why did we have to hold another council in my realm?" Elrond demanded. "Rivendell is not the place for impromptu parties! You're better off asking Thranduil for accommodations!"
"This is an adventure from which you may never return!" Gandalf proclaimed ominously.
"Again, all this sounds rather familiar," Bilbo mused, a little fearful.
"There is an event called the Fandom Games, and we who live in Middle-Earth must take part in it! Two tributes from each fandom must be sent! Since both The Hobbit and LOTR take place in Middle-Earth, we will draw four names today, two characters from each fandom. Starting with the female character from The Hobbit!"
"Good luck with that!" Thorin scoffed. "There weren't any female characters in the book!"
"Not in the book, no," Gandalf admitted, "but there were three female characters specially created for Peter Jackson's movie series!"
"Can we please not talk about those movies?" Radagast complained. "They totally ruined my character and made me look like a birdbrain!"
"Birdbrain! Ha ha! Good one!" Kili laughed. "'Cause you let birds build a nest in your hair! Birdbrain! Get it?"
"Anyway," Gandalf carried on, "the female tribute from The Hobbit will be Tauriel."
"No! Not my one true love! Amralimê, you can't go!"
"Would you prefer Sigrid or Tilda go instead? Tauriel's a far more experienced fighter than them! She's basically the Katniss Everdeen of Middle-Earth!"
"Who's Katniss Everdeen?"
"Never mind that! Fili, you'll be the male character representing The Hobbit." Because Gandalf was really tired of all the interruptions, he quickly moved on to the LOTR tributes. "The female character from LOTR is Eowyn!"
"Again, not much of a choice between characters there," Eowyn shrugged. "It was either me, Arwen, Galadriel, or Lothiriel, and we're all canon!" she emphasized, looking pointedly at Tauriel.
The Mirkwood elleth drew her bow and pointed it at Eowyn, but Gandalf stepped in between them. "Woah, woah, woah, you two, save it for the arena! Shall we see which male character from LOTR will be participating?" He looked at the last slip of paper. "What do you know? It's Boromir."
"The brother-in-law I never knew?" Eowyn beamed. "This is gonna be interesting."
"You better take care of my wife, Boromir!" Faramir warned with a friendly smile.
Boromir slapped him on the back. "I will, little brother! On my honor!"
It felt eerily familiar. Names being read off of slips of paper, both of them volunteering out of self-confidence. When Cato and Clove climbed up onto the stage and met each other's eyes, they both knew that history had repeated itself.
We're really doing this again. Both of them were thinking that thought, but neither of them voiced it out loud.
This time, I'll have my guard up at all times, Clove promised herself.
I won't let what happened last time happen again, Cato vowed.
Éponine woke up with her sister Azelma clinging to her, sobbing. "Nightmare?" she asked.
Azelma nodded. "Why do we have to play this cruel game? What if I get chosen?"
Éponine took her sister into her arms. "It's more likely a major female character will be picked, like Fantine. You're not even in the musical. They're not going to pick you."
Somewhat comforted, Azelma made her way with Éponine to the square outside General Lamarque's house. Everyone was gathered, and the girls' own mother stood on a platform to draw the names. Today Mme. Thénardier wore a sprig of dark blue-black berries in her hair. Éponine thought her mother was trying too hard to look attractive.
"Happy Fandom Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!" Mme. Thénardier piped breezily. "As is the custom, we start with the ladies!" She dug her hand in the bowl and pulled out a card. "Azelma Thénardier!"
Neither girl could do anything for a few seconds. They were both paralyzed by shock. Finally, Azelma resignedly hugged Éponine and began to walk towards the stage.
Éponine couldn't let her sister go into the face of danger like that. She recovered her wits, stepped forward, and shouted, "I volunteer as tribute!" she could feel all eyes on her, but she didn't care. All that mattered was Azelma's safety.
"You're jumping in a little early, but it's wonderful of you, at any rate! Come on up here, darling!" Mme. Thénardier waved Éponine to join her onstage. "What a brave girl she is, volunteering to take her sister's place! Can I get a round of applause for our brave tribute, Éponine Thénardier?"
Silence. Everyone knew the two onstage were mother and daughter. They also knew how the mother treated her children like trash. Instead of clapping, every single person in the crowd took their flat right hand with their fingers spread out and rubbed it in an upward motion against their chest. A silent gesture of love and support.
Eager not to let the people dwell on Éponine's heroic sacrifice, Mme. Thénardier read the boy's name next. "Antoine Enjolras."
Éponine wondered if it was sadistic of her to wish that Marius's name had been called instead. Then at least they could die together, like she had hoped would happen at the barricade.
A/N: Get it? Tauriel's the Katniss Everdeen of Middle-Earth, but Kili doesn't understand?...Okay, I'll see myself out.
Yes, Cato and Clove return! I was debating whether or not to have them, but I was running low on characters so I decided to have them join. However, this is not going to be a rehash of the 74th Hunger Games. I'll try to change it up as much as possible, but there are definitely going to be some similarities.
I chose Mme. Thénardier to be the escort for Les Mis because Helena Bonham Carter's wigs in the 2012 movie reminded me of something Effie Trinket would wear. Also, can you guess what the berries she wore in her hair are?
The gesture the crowd does for Éponine is Langue des signes française (LSF) for "I love you."
translations:
amralimê-my love (closest approximation I got from a Middle-Earth language wiki)
elleth-female elf