Note: Some readers who followed early email notifications were confused the last time I posted because the pages didn't show up properly. This is because I had thought I had posted chapter 7 here, and I posted chapter 8 before I noticed that FF wasn't showing the previous chapter. Then I posted chapter 7 and changed the order afterwards. And FF takes their precious time to reflect the changes so it can be half an hour or more before it shows up correctly. But if you check back now it should be sorted out. Again, these are individual vignettes that don't follow from the events of the previous chapter so the reading order does not matter a whole lot but if we're going by the book, Bring Your Own Earl is set before the scene in This Desirable Event.
TEASING MR. DARCY
"How pleasant it is to spend an evening in this way! I declare, after all, there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library."
No one made any reply. Miss Bingley then yawned again, threw aside her book, and cast her eyes round the room in quest of some amusement.
"One book will last you quite a while if you always read a line or two and put it away," Mr. Hurst said. "If you get all nine volumes of Tristram Shandy you will be set for life."
Miss Bingley ignored her brother-in-law with studied indifference. Her brother mentioned the ball that he had been planning, and she urged him to think better of it, in deference of certain individuals who might find it to be a punishment.
Mr. Bingley was unmoved, saying that any such individuals might go to bed with his blessing, instead of attending the entertainment.
"I should like balls infinitely better," she replied, "if they were carried on in a different manner; but there is something insufferably tedious in the usual process of such a meeting. It would surely be much more rational if conversation instead of dancing made the order of the day."
"I am so sorry, Miss Bingley," Darcy said. "I have previously asked you to dance on several occasions, out of what I presumed to be politeness. But if I had known of your great distaste for the activity I would have refrained, and I will do so henceforth."
"Oh, I am sorry Mr. Darcy, I did not mean it like that."
"Never be sorry for speaking your mind honestly," he said. "I vastly prefer openness to prevarications. So if you are forced to attend Bingley's ball as the hostess you may trust that I shall not impose upon you by any unwanted applications for your hand."
Miss Bingley attempted to reassure Darcy that partnering him was not a punishment, unlike dancing with some other gentlemen might be, but he chose not to believe her and started reading again. In some dissatisfaction, she got up and walked about the room. Her figure was elegant and she walked well, but Darcy had previously seen so many bipedal creatures walking upright that he was not particularly impressed by her skill. When she invited Eliza Bennet to walk with her it finally drew Mr. Darcy's notice, but still he refused to join them.
"You either choose this method of passing the evening because you are in each other's confidence, and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking: if the first, I should be completely in your way; and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire."
"I am sure that Caroline would grant you leave to admire her figure any time you like," Mr. Hurst said.
"Oh, shocking!" cried Miss Bingley. "I never heard anything so abominable. How shall we punish him for such a speech?"
"As you know Mr. Hurst more intimately than I do you must know much better how he may be plagued.," said Elizabeth. "Everyone can be teased if one has the inclination."
"Oh, certainly not!" Miss Bingley was appalled by the implications. "Hurst, perhaps – but no one would dream of teasing Mr. Darcy, for instance."
"Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at!" cried Elizabeth. "Well, that is very much to his detriment, I am sure. Everybody needs somebody who takes us rather less seriously than we take ourselves."
"You may do your worst, Miss Elizabeth," said Darcy. "I am not afraid of you and even if I should be I find myself rather curious to find out what you would laugh at."
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies, do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can. But these, I suppose, are precisely what you are without."
"Well, I do not usually set out to be silly and ridiculous on purpose," Darcy said.
"But I reckon very few people do," Elizabeth said.
"Exactly," he said. "So if I am being foolish about something, am I likely to know?"
"Miss Elizabeth, you must have known him long enough to see that he is never foolish, and I do not believe that teasing Mr. Darcy is at all the thing," Miss Bingley said.
"It would not be sporting of you to duel with an unarmed man," Mr Hurst said. "He is the eldest brother, he has had no siblings to teach him how to be the laughing stock."
"Believe it or not I am not entirely unaccustomed to withstanding jokes," said Darcy. "I was the youngest of my male cousins and had some friends at Pemberley, so I received plenty of teasing before..." He trailed off. "Well, before."
"Before you became the Master of Pemberley," Mr. Hurst guessed.
"Before he had all manner of duty and responsibility thrust upon him quite unexpectedly," Bingley said. "The aspect of grief does tend to discourage casual levity."
"The Bingleys and the Darcys both went into mourning for their fathers the same year," Mr. Hurst explained.
"I am sorry for your loss," Elizabeth said. "I can imagine that there is little to laugh about in such a situation."
"I think I forgot how, for a while," Darcy admitted. "But I am happy to have had Bingley's friendship at the time."
"And I yours," said Bingley. "I had not exactly planned on becoming the head of the family so early."
"I suppose it often feels too early to lose your parents, whenever it happens," Jane said.
"It was a difficult time for all of us," Miss Bingley said. "But I am sure Mr. Darcy would not let it interfere with his handling of all the responsibilities of his splendid estate."
"Well, no, Darcy was quite holed up at Pemberley and would only come into town to see that his house was still standing. I had to resort to threats, bribery and blackmail to drag Darcy back into society," Bingley said. "A fellow should not wander the windy moors forever, not unless one wants to be a tragic character."
"I have no plans to become a tragic character," Darcy said. "I just find that the solitude and the wilderness clear the mind wonderfully."
"It is quite calming to walk with only the clouds for company," Elizabeth agreed.
"Perhaps you can recommend me some lovely paths in Hertfordshire," Darcy said.
"Lizzy is quite proud of her local knowledge," Jane said.
"Where there is a real superiority of mind pride will be always under good regulation," Darcy said.
Elizabeth turned away to hide a smile.
"If we were to stay here I should like to explore Hertfordshire a bit more," said Miss Bingley.
Elizabeth ignored her and asked, "And what about your pride, Mr. Darcy? Is it under good regulation?"
"If you were more intimate with him you would be able to see the superiority of his mind for yourself, Miss Elizabeth," Miss Bingley said. "If he is proud it is only for good reason."
"On my part, I am perfectly convinced that Darcy has no defect," Mr. Hurst said. "Caroline owns it herself without disguise."
"No," said Darcy, "I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding; certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost is lost for ever."
"That is a failing, indeed!" cried Elizabeth. "Implacable resentment is a shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. I really cannot laugh at it. You are safe from me."
"And if it was yourself, how many times would you allow a friend to betray you until you stopped giving him more chances to abuse your trust?" Darcy asked.
"I cannot say I have that experience," Elizabeth said.
"You have a sister who used to steal your ribbons," Jane said. "When you figured it out you started to hide them better."
"Well, in that case, Mr. Darcy, I must allow you that sometimes a strong degree of mistrust in a person warrants certain precautions."
"Thank you. So you would grant me the right to remove a two-faced manipulator from my circle?"
"Oh, if we are talking about a specific person I suppose I should not presume to advise you without knowing any of the particulars of the case."
Darcy said. "There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome. In his case, it was all of them."
"I believe I can tell what he is thinking of," Bingley said. "Somebody who had fallen into dissolute habits became a regular nuisance at the time Darcy had just inherited."
"There were several people who tried to take advantage of my distraction," said Darcy. "Coming from a former friend I took it harder. As younger boys, we used to be playmates at Pemberley. Incidentally, he was very good at teasing me."
Miss Bingley was torn between her desire of being proven right and her disinclination to appear to be criticising Mr. Darcy in any way, and in this instance, the former instinct won.
"Disappointments are only to be expected if you befriend a servant's son, Mr. Darcy," she said, tittering delicately. She was definitely not looking at Miss Elizabeth when she added, "Or other people so much beneath your consequence."