Author's Note:
QLFC Season 11 Round 5
Team: Wigtown Wanderers
Position: Chaser 2
Word Count: 2147, excluding the A/N
Prompt: Lord of The Rings
Optional Prompts: Friendship bracelet, cheery, lemon-lime
WARNING: Arguing, disagreements, mentions of racism, a little non-canon, characters that are out of character
Reasoning for my main prompt: I have neither read nor watched LOTR. With some research, I found out that Arwen had the choice between immortality and mortality. She chose mortality for the love of a mortal. In this story, Severus has to choose between the Death Eaters and Lily's side. He chose Lily's side because he loves Lily.
This happens in the fifth year, shortly before 'Snape's Worst Memory' would've happened.
When walking a line between losing your best friend and losing every possibility to gain power and acceptance, one would feel cramped. Life was a balance; sacrifice one side to choose the other.
Severus Snape never pondered which side to choose. Instead, he let life sway him in any direction, dreading having to make a decision between the things he loved the most.
Lily and him were already separating like a friendship bracelet about to rip. She was too defensive and never saw the world through his point of view. He missed her innocence and cheerfulness. But things were no longer the same.
The House of Gryffindor corrupted her… he wished she was put in another house because these days, he was stuck in the endless spiral of quarrels and arguments with Lily about how he used Dark Magic or hung out with the wrong people. Mulciber and Avery could be mean sometimes, but they treated him well despite his blood.
What Lily would never comprehend was that despite the fact the Marauders didn't use Dark Magic on others, they were still bad and their intentions when using 'harmless' hexes were just as malicious.
She befriended the Marauders, those he hated, and he associated himself with 'future Death Eaters' as Lily said. But even through that, they stayed friends, because neither of them had truly chosen either side.
"Lily!" Severus exclaimed, running over to her.
He was met with a glare rather than the warm, cheery smile he was used to.
"Lily, what's wrong?" Severus asked.
He knew why she glared at him; he was the one who had done something 'wrong' like hanging out with Death Eater wannabes or using Dark Magic, as usual, but he still asked anyway.
"What's wrong?" Lily said, "What's wrong is you being a hypocrite!"
Severus frowned. "I don't understand."
"You were hanging out with them again," she said, her eyes starting to tear up, "You called me a Mudblood in front of your friends to act cool."
She wasn't supposed to hear that… plus, it wasn't that bad. He didn't even mean it.
"Lily, you know I didn't mean it," he assured.
She scoffed. "Didn't mean it? Severus, it isn't even the first time. You said blood would never matter to you."
"It doesn't…" he said regretfully.
"Remus was right. You're becoming just like them!"
"Well, you're becoming just like the Marauders!"
"What could possibly be wrong about the Marauders other than the fact they bully you?" Lily asked, exasperated. "Sure, they might be a little bad, but not as much as the dark people you hang out with!"
Severus sighed. She was wrong, and she was too stubborn to admit it!
"Lily, you know the Marauders hate all Slytherins!" Severus replied in the same tone.
Lily crossed her arms in aggravation. "See what I mean by the fact you never try to see things from my point of view?"
Severus sat under a tree with lemon-lime colored flowers.
What did she mean? She was the one that refused to see his point of view. But maybe, it was both of them…
"You never do that, either," he whispered.
Lily silently joined him under the tree. She didn't say anything until a few minutes later. "Okay, fine, neither of us do it. Well, why do you keep insisting that the Marauders are so bad and that Dark Magic is good in every one of our arguments?"
"Dark Magic isn't good and it isn't bad, just like magic in general," Severus explained, finally getting the chance to tell her how he saw the world. "It depends on the user and their intention with magic. Since a certain category of magic was used mostly for bad things, it was called 'Dark Magic'. I just like it because it's complicated."
"So you're not using it for bad….?" Lily asked, but upon seeing his 'not really' face, she frowned. "Severus, I know that face. What did you do?"
"I swear I was telling the truth. I'm interested in Dark Magic, but I have used the low-leveled ones on Potter and Black…"
She rolled her eyes. "I don't like that type of magic, but as long as you don't hurt anyone with it anymore, it won't be a problem."
Severus shrugged. It was her opinion after all. At the very least, none of their arguments would be on Dark Magic now.
"Why do you hate the Marauders?"
"Lily, the one thing you never understood is that I don't care how 'harmless' the spells are. They intended to kill me at least once," Severus answered. "On top of that, they make too many assumptions. For example, that first time on the train, when I said I wanted to be a Slytherin, Black judged me based on his Muggle hating family. Also, Lupin is poor and they don't laugh at his poverty but they laugh at mine and at other things I have no control of."
"...Well… I guess that's true," Lily said, "Especially the last one. They shouldn't be blaming you."
"Why do you hang out with the Marauders, out of all people?"
"They treat me nicely," Lily said, which was barely an explanation. "And only Remus is my friend. I just hang out with the rest of them sometimes."
"Mulciber and Avery treat me nicely too, but they hate you just as much as the Marauders hate me… for no reason. It would be unfair if you were friends with them and I can't be friends with Mulciber and Avery."
"Severus…" she began, "You don't understand."
"Make me," he replied.
"Muggle hating is a form of racism. They hate me for something I can't control and they want to kill Muggles and join others who do the same."
"House discrimination is a form of racism, too. The Marauders hate me because of my house, my appearance, and my poverty. I can't control those, either. The fact I use Dark Magic is just an excuse to make me look bad," Severus reasoned.
"But the Marauders can't kill you at Hogwarts or they'd get expelled, and they can't kill you after graduation if you're not one of them while those people you're friends with can kill me after we leave Hogwarts. I'm friends with people you hate that bully you and intend to kill you if you're one of them, but you're friends with people I hate who intend to kill every Muggle alive when they can, including me."
That was true, in a way, but if he became a Death Eater he could protect her, couldn't he? Plus, he was trying to protect her… it was more than she'd ever done to help him defeat that toe rag and his friends. On top of that, the Death Eaters had plenty of ways he could learn Dark Magic… more than Hogwarts had to offer.
Lily sighed. "Why do you want to become one of them?"
"They have more ways to learn Dark Magic," Severus said as she rolled her eyes. He knew she was angry though. "I-I can also protect you if I become one of them. They can't kill you."
"Severus. Me and the other Muggles, we're the same! We've gone over this! Where's the difference between us?"
"We care about each other… we're friends. I have nothing with them," Severus said half-heartedly. No, he loved her. She deserved to live, they didn't.
"They didn't do anything wrong to you."
Nothing wrong? They hated him, insulted him, tried to separate him and Lily. Or, if they didn't do any of that, the majority of those bystanders laughed at him and humiliated him. They cheered and encouraged The Marauders to continue.
"They laughed along."
"But still Severus," she said, "I'm part of them. I can't be the only Muggle alive! They die, I go with them, because we're hated by all of those racists."
Well… he hated to say it, but she half was. They laughed, and she never used her magic against the Marauders to help him… or her duty as prefect. Severus asked her why.
"I —" she began, but she never answered his question.
"Is it because they're your friends?" Severus asked, and she nodded.
He frowned. It felt like every day, a bead would fall off their friendship because he just wasn't good enough for her. Sure, Potter did have more money and looks, but their friendship lasted years. It couldn't fall because he mattered less.
"Didn't you say you weren't friends with the Marauders?" Severus asked, recalling her earlier statement.
"I wish I could be," she replied sadly.
Severus felt guilty. Perhaps there was a chance for her to be friends with both of them.
But everyone had to choose a side… neither of them did. But the world isn't your dough, and you can't have every option… one life, one choice.
"I'm sorry," he finally said half-heartedly. It wasn't entirely his fault… the Marauders didn't deserve her anyway.
"It's not your fault. I haven't hung out with them for weeks. I told Remus that he should stand up for what he thought was right and not be spineless."
"Well…it's about time. I don't know what's so likable about them," Severus mumbled.
"If Remus does stand up to them and they stop bullying you, I'll become friends with them again," Lily said. "Though, if they don't, it's their fault. All that's left is for you to make your choice."
That meant her side, or the Death Eaters…
The Death Eaters would bring him power, Dark Magic, knowledge, revenge against the Marauders, protection, and even acceptance.
Lily, he loved her as much as everything the Death Eaters would bring him. But everytime she made a choice… a choice that was him… she'd go against it. Soon, everything would be the spiral of quarrels again. All the beads would fall if the bracelet was untied. A friendship would fade if it was missing acceptance, trust and understanding.
Why couldn't he have both? Severus could secretly do both. He could get what he desired.
"I don't know," Severus said as she got up.
"Severus," she said, "I know what you're thinking."
Lily took off her friendship bracelet… the one that tied them together. "I'm sorry, Severus. I can't do this anymore."
He looked at his lemon-lime bracelet and then at hers, with tears in his eyes.
The farther you walk one path, the more you realize about it. Sometimes, you already bought the ticket, so you can't turn back. And other times, you just have to run back as fast as you can.
The world is unfair and life is unbalanced. What you choose is your choice. Where it takes you is your fault. And if you haven't chosen, know that time is limited. Choose, or time will beat you.
Severus didn't know if he was too late. It had only been a few months ever since the bracelet was removed from her wrist. Did he buy the ticket yet? He also didn't know.
The O. distracted him a great deal from choosing, but he was turning seventeen next year. He feared time would catch up to him.
He had two options; he could choose power, knowledge, and a revenge he didn't care about anymore. Their acceptance was fake; he came to the realization it was just a way to trick him. If he were to side with them, he would get protection from Dumbledore and the Aurors, but not from his punishment, if he were to fail.
On the other hand, he could choose Lily, and with her came non-acceptance and hatred (from her friends) and on the good side her company, friendship and cheerful personality. He desired her love, but he would take what he could get.
The Death Eaters would treat him worse over time. So would Lily, maybe. But her love was more important than his thirst for power.
"Snape!" someone said from behind him.
Severus stopped circling the Great Lake and spun around. "Mulciber?"
"Rosier wants to speak to you," he said, Avery right behind him.
"Where is he?" Severus asked.
"He's coming," Avery said quietly. Indeed, he walked over to them.
"Snape," Evan Rosier said with a small nod.
"Rosier," Severus said, imitating his movement.
"The Dark Lord decided it was time for you to officially choose to join us," Rosier informed him again.
"I'm not seventeen," Severus said worriedly.
"Regulus is getting marked next year. If he's old enough, so are you," The seventh-year replied calmly. "You have to make a choice. It's either us, or the other side. Today is the deadline after all."
Severus made his decision and ran away from the three boys, not a hint of doubt on his face or in his heart. He wouldn't regret his choice.
Because he chose the other side. Lily's side.