Costs

Louisa was seething with anger. "Honestly, Martin," she hissed, as they lay in bed that night. "I didn't expect her to show up. Why did she come? And why now?" Louisa sighed deeply.

"You did telephone her, Louisa," Martin said.

Louisa shook her head. "But Martin, I did NOT invite her for a visit."

Martin had been listening to her as she whispered her disbelief and rage at her mother's arrival. "When was the last time... that… you… saw your… mother?" he managed to ask after Louisa had rattled off more expressions of anger.

Louisa rolled towards him and put an arm around his waist. "It's been… well, I was at uni. Took a trip down there – Spain, you know. With friends. Hadn't exactly planned on looking her up… and one day there was the pub, so I walked in and there she was. It was the place she and Javier had started up."

Martin had heard how her mother had left with her Spanish lover, who was named Javier. "Ah," Martin replied. "So you just went to see her."

"Yes, ah. I walked into the pub, and there was mum behind the bar, cleaning. Funny that, 'cause she hardly ever cleaned our house. Very out of place."

"Health regulations no doubt."

"Yeah. Anyway," Louisa stopped for a deep breath, "mum looked up and said, 'Lou-Lou! What'll you be drinking?'"

Martin winced, for even he felt that was a callous greeting.

"I hadn't seen her for almost 6 years, and at first look she asked me what alcoholic drink I wanted!" Louisa now held him tightly as she buried her face in his shoulder.

Martin could feel wetness there as her tears soaked into his pajama top, so all he could do was to rub her back.

"And now she's dossing down on our sofa until we can rent a room for her at the pub!" Louisa mumbled. "Damn it."

"I could tell you didn't want her staying here. Not even overnight."

Louisa shook her head then looked up at him in the dimness. "Too much…"

'History,' he finished in his head.

Louisa sighed. "Too many bad feelings, you know."

Martin swallowed hard, for the last time he had seen his mum she had told him he was an unwanted child and his existence, both before and after his birth had ruined his mother's relations with his dad. "Right," he said, then wished that they might stop talking about this.

Louisa chewed on the matter in her head. She didn't like her mum, never had she supposed; too much yelling and neglect, too many broken promises, too much… all of it. Her hand slid down to her belly and cupped the roundness there. "Do you think I will be a good mum and not make the same mistakes my mum made?" she whispered to her husband.

Martin held her more tightly. "You will be an excellent mother," he answered into her ear as he held her gently.

0=0

Martin was up early, dressed and ready for the day when he entered the kitchen. Louisa's mother was fingering his shiny expresso machine, while lighting a cigarette. "What are you doing?" Martin exploded. "Leave that alone! And put that out!"

Sheepishly, Eleanor stubbed out the barely lit cig in the sink.

Martin immediately opened the back door, letting in a blast of cold air, while he waved his hands in front of his face. "Stinks of smoke in here." He then ran water from the sink tap to flush away the cigarette ash. "Don't you know that smoking is not only a filthy habit but is also unhealthy?"

"Been smoking for years, and never done me any harm," Eleanor muttered, then walked around him to slam the rear door. "Now it's gone cold in here."

Martin sighed at her. "Not only is your daughter, my wife, expecting a baby, but exposing pregnant women to second-hand smoke is potentially injurious to the mother and also the foetus!"

Eleanor sat down at the kitchen table and asked, "Any chance for a coffee?"

Martin stared at her for a few seconds. "Espresso alright? It is what I prepare in the morning."

"Ooh, fancy," she said as she grinned at him. "And don't you look all smart in your suit and tie."

"It's a regular workday."

She nodded. "I guessed that. So… down from Town. Londoner."

"I was."

Eleanor peered around the room, and pointedly looked at the front window where the fishing village was exposed in the early morning light. "Not livin' there now."

"No," he answered then he prepared the machine to create espresso. He heard Louisa's mother open her handbag, so he watched her carefully put away her lighter and box of cigs. Then she got out a pack of chewing gum.

She held up one stick. "Chewing gum alright with you? Or this also a non-chewing zone?" she asked sarcastically.

He grunted assent as the expresso machine began to make the normal gurgling and steaming noises. Martin cleared his throat and said, "Gum chewing bathes the teeth and gums in sugary saliva, promoting tooth decay, and the constant chewing can create temporal mandibular joint problems as well as excessive tooth wear."

Eleanor stopped in mid-chew, extracted the masticated wad from her mouth and carefully wrapped the mass in the crumpled wrapper. "You must be a lot of fun on date night," she replied.

Martin opened the cabinet door under the sink, pulled out the bin, and held it out to her in which she deposited the refuse. "And wash your hands."

Eleanor did as he said, then standing, patted him on the shoulder as she said. "I'll be staying down at the pub soon enough, sonny, so don't get all uptight."

Martin stared into her eyes. "Look, I just don't want Louisa getting upset. She doesn't need that. She is under stress at her school as well; that's also not good for a pregnant woman."

Eleanor nodded. "Yeah. Well we all have our row to mow."

Martin checked the machine which was now beginning to exude a jet-black stream of coffee into one of his tiny espresso cups. "Your espresso is ready." He picked up the cup, placed it on a saucer and set it on the table.

Eleanor sighed at him. "Look, Martin, I… I wasn't the best mum; I know that. I know that I could've tried a lot harder."

Martin was biting back a reply to say, 'you left when she was eleven for God's sake,' but he kept his mouth shut.

"Me and Terry," Eleanor wiped at one eye, "not well suited, see? It was…" Her lips pursed. "Like war, you see. All the time."

Martin looked hard at her. "You left your daughter behind. On that battlefield." Martin had conversed with this woman all of an hour or less, between last evening and this morning and he was not only distrustful of her, but also felt that he needed to guard what he told her.

She winced. "And I'm not proud of it." Eleanor turned to go then looked back. "She was better off bein' without me, you know."

They were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs, so they stepped apart and stood there trying to look innocent.

"Ah, Mum, morning," Louisa said when she appeared. "How did you sleep?"

Eleanor shrugged.

"I am sorry about the sofa, mum. Look, I just called Tim at the pub, and he has a room for you," Louisa replied.

"Ooh, that's nice," Eleanor answered. "Be nice to be outta your hair. Me and your hubby been having a heart to heart."

"Oh?" Louisa said cautiously. "About?"

"Smoking and gum chewing. I expect the perils of excessive caffeine would'a been our next chat. Am I right, about that, Martin?" Eleanor cackled.

Martin stood there, trying not to speak, but his mind was churning with what he wished to say. He wanted this person – Eleanor – to be absent; away, gone. Her relationship with her daughter, such as it was, was clearly a disaster; not just in the past but also in the present. They say that blood is the tie that binds, but biological reproduction does not alone make for lasting or healthy connections. There were costs associated with such deficits.

Louisa looked at her husband with some concern. "Martin is a very good doctor, and he cares about health and medicine, all the time," she answered her mother. She brightened. "Have you eaten?"

"Not yet, no," Eleanor

Martin cleared his throat. "I'll put the eggs and rashers on."

Louisa looked at Martin and gave him a somewhat forced smile.

Eleanor looked at her daughter from a few feet away. "And oh my, you are preggers, my girl."

"Seems so yes," Louisa replied as she looked down at her belly.

"I'm gonna be a grandma!" Eleanor chuckled.

"Yep," Louisa said.

"And oh dear girl you are so beautiful! All belly and baps, you are!"

Martin saw that his wife had to wipe her eyes.

"Thanks… mum," Louisa said.

"'Bout half way along, are you?" her mum asked.

Louisa replied, "Just about. Martin, how's breakfast coming along?"

Martin got busy at the cooker.

0=0

At school that morning, Louisa was surprised to see that Mr. Strain was waiting for her. "Oh, Mr. Strain, you're here early."

He smiled happily, clasping his hands together. "Early bird gets the school records!"

Louisa's heart sank. "Sure, sure."

"Now if we could just take a quick peek at the school documents, beginning with last year's school term. Enrollments tardiness reports, absences, staff sick days and so forth."

"Last term? I…"

Mr. Strain smiled cheerfully. "Ought not to take more than a few hours."

"Right," she told him, but her mind was a whirl due to the arrival of her mother and now another day of inspection by Mr. Strain. Louisa bit her cheek. She also had to wee