"I hate to ask, but... are you sure we're heading in the right direction?"
At Asami's words, Korra stops to rest her weight against a fat tree trunk. These trees span hundreds of feet upward and surround the two women in every direction. It's a struggle to even climb over their roots, thick and gnarled with crevices in between that attempt to snag your shoes. As cute as they may be, spirits occasionally popping out from underfoot aren't making this adventure any more enjoyable.
This place is quite different from the flowering fields, winding rivers and other mystical landscapes they've passed through already. It's nothing like Iroh's tea shop, with his spirit friends and tea blends and desserts – Asami loved it there, having played pai sho with the old man for hours.
Korra has seen darker lands in the spirit world than this forest, though, so she isn't as nervous as Asami seems to be. This place can't be evil, what with sunlight streaming down through the treetops, vines hanging from their limbs and reaching out to connect the trees as one. And the local spirits aren't spiders or centipedes or ghastly monsters for which Korra has no words to describe them. They're just animals, sentient vegetables and other nonsensical creatures.
"I don't know. Something is telling me to go this way," Korra says with uncertainty. For the past day, a part of her has been nagging, insistently leading her in this direction. Her feet haven't wanted to stray elsewhere. Something is telling her that this is the path they must tread, wherever it leads. "Maybe it's Raava."
"I trust your judgment, then," Asami replies simply.
That is, perhaps, one of the best aspects of Asami: she lets Korra follow her heart, even if that means wandering through unfamiliar, less-than-welcoming terrain in a realm they know very little about. Korra feels like a madman being drawn forth in this way, but with all she knows of the spirit world, gut instincts are often worth heeding.
They've been in the spirit world for nearly a fortnight now. It's almost time to return home, or at least resupply their backpacks. But Korra can't bring herself to leave yet. Not with this strange feeling beckoning her forth.
Is it the light spirit Raava leading her somewhere? Or is it something else?
"Don't worry. I'll keep you safe," Korra tries to promise with more confidence, stepping away from the tree to resume their journey. If anything is certain, it is Korra's will to keep her loved ones free of harm.
"You always do," Asami agrees.
Nearly two hours after they first entered the forest, a feeling of relief overcomes Korra when she finally glimpses something peculiar through the hardwoods. Within a circle of trees hangs a gigantic stone building, suspended upside-down in the air far above their heads. Thick, curling vines loop through pane-less windows and around towers, holding what looks to be a palace, a castle, securely in position, high in the sky. Its tallest spire points to the ground like an arrow falling to earth.
"What is it?" Asami asks in wonder. She moves to step into the clearing beneath the structure, but with Korra clasping her hand, Asami is pulled to a halt.
The sight itself is unfamiliar. But Korra can remember bits of their friend Jinora's description of such a place: an epic building to behold, suspended in the trees, guarded by a great owl spirit... The airbender's dragonfly bunny, Furry Foot, brought her there before.
"I think this is a spirit library," Korra says slowly. She tries to remember what Jinora had said. This must be the same library she spoke of. Thankfully there is no sign of its keeper, but Korra doesn't want to push their luck. "Its guardian, Wan Shi Tong, is the great spirit of knowledge. We shouldn't disturb him."
"That's a library?"
With Asami's hand in her own, Korra urges her to take another step backward. Asami raises her eyebrows in surprise, but Korra insists. "Wan Shi Tong helped Unalaq capture Jinora, just before Harmonic Convergence. He doesn't like humans. If he knew we were here..."
Wan Shi Tong seems hostile to humans, and here they are stepping into his domain. She doesn't want to start a fight with a spirit ever again. Korra remembers how meerkat spirits had reacted during her first visit to this realm. Here, the world changes around you according to your emotions; it would be all too easy to be swallowed by the earth and spat out somewhere new, separated from Asami, if things became dicey.
"It's okay, Korra. I'm not afraid." Asami looks back up to the library, letting her gaze drift over the tall stone towers jutting downward toward the ground. "It just seems... magical. So big! There must be a million books in there."
"I guess so. They've probably been collecting information here since written language became a thing."
Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. Korra doesn't like the expression that overcomes Asami's face at her words, a smile growing as realization brightens her features. She has seen that look before whenever Asami had a sudden burst of inspiration, like when she thought of constructing a sand-sailer to escape the Si Wong desert years ago.
No good can come from Asami making that face while looking at that building.
"Do you think the library would have a section on just the Avatars?"
Korra becomes uncomfortable from Asami's train of thought. What is she thinking about doing? They have no business going in there. Its contents shouldn't matter when there's no way to access it safely.
"Probably," Korra answers cautiously, unable to tell a lie to her. Hand still holding Asami's, she squeezes, pulling Asami's attention back to her instead of the library's exterior. "But we can't go in there. I'm not going to risk placing you in harm's way. Not after everything that's happened."
"A spiritual part of you led us here," Asami reminds her. She laces her fingers through Korra's, then hesitates, opening and then closing her mouth as if she wants to say more but is struggling to do so. Considering her words carefully, Asami finally says, "I think you should try to find a way to reconnect to your past lives, one more time. There may be relevant information here regarding the Avatar spirit. This is an opportunity we shouldn't dismiss so easily."
Oh.
Korra looks down to the hard-packed dirt beneath their shoes. She doesn't want to think about the past Avatars, their bond that she'd lost due to her own gullibility. If she had never trusted Unalaq, the spirit portals would never have been opened, Vaatu would never have escaped, and they together would not have destroyed Raava. They wouldn't have destroyed the hundred plus lifetimes of her past.
She shakes her head. "They're gone, Asami. I felt them disintegrate. The slate was wiped clean when Raava was reborn."
"You should try. I know they were important to you."
Asami cannot even comprehend how important they had been. A tightness pangs in Korra's chest and her eyes sting at the reminder that she will never feel the presence of Aang or Wan again. Never again will she, or any of her future lifetimes, be able to contact those from their collective past. To say she has been a disgrace to the Avatar cycle would be the greatest understatement of all time.
Asami leans in, trying to get a better look at Korra's face. Though Korra isn't crying – she's had years to cry about this tragedy, it's no new thing – her face is twisted to reveal her discomfiture with the subject.
After a few moments of silence, realizing she will not receive a reply, Asami continues speaking. "If nothing else, we might be able to find more information about the past Avatars. This could help you."
"Help me, how?"
"... Korra. Please."
Asami surprises Korra by pulling her into a full embrace.
After a small delay, Korra hugs her back, focusing on the feel of Asami's jacket under her palms and chin and the faint scent of her sweet perfume. She wants to focus on anything but the memory of Avatar Aang, wise, patient and kind, gone for eternity. She doesn't want to remember her last glimpse of Roku, of Kyoshi or Kuruk, or the hundred and more that she'd never share a conversation with. For some Avatars, she may never learn their names, even with all the world's books at her fingertips.
"I know you've had a difficult time coming to terms with what being the Avatar truly means," Asami murmurs into Korra's hair. "Aside from bending all four elements and helping the world achieve balance. There's more to it than that. Hard sacrifices have been made, for you most of all."
Korra presses her face into the other woman's neck, and Asami in turn responds, slipping her hands under Korra's backpack to her spine and holding her close. "I am so proud of and amazed by everything you have done," Asami praises. "You have inner strength most can only dream of. But without the other Avatars to guide you, I'm afraid you have been lost for a long time."
"I'm not –"
"You are." Asami pulls herself partially away from Korra, keeping her embraced with one arm while the other raises to touch the crown of Korra's head. "I think you're lost, here." That hand drifts down, cool fingers lingering against her cheek. "If we could learn more about the Avatar cycle, maybe we could find a way to recover your connection to the others. I just don't want to see you suffer anymore."
Asami is wrong about her strength. On their path toward world peace, Asami has lost just as much. She may not have had past lives to lose, but Asami has lost her father, and her business, more than once. Thanks to Kuvira's giant mech, she has nothing now. To be able to push through her sorrow is something Korra has had difficulty doing, ever since she'd first arrived in Republic City several years ago.
If Korra is made of strong stuff, Asami is stronger tenfold.
"I'm not suffering," Korra says, but the words taste foul on her tongue. This doesn't feel like suffering – it is a bit of grief, perhaps. It is loss. But they were victorious in defeating Kuvira, and Korra and Asami are now vacationing in a vividly colorful, mysterious land. For the past two weeks, she hasn't felt as if she has suffered. Things are better here than in the material world. "I'm happy with you, Asami."
Asami smiles a bit, but it's a sad expression. She presses her forehead to Korra's and sighs.
"I am not the solution to your problems," Asami says. She rubs a thumb across Korra's cheekbone, watching the Avatar with a visible mixture of emotions. "Don't get me wrong. I'm here to help in every capacity I'm able. But running away isn't the solution, either. I know I have no room to speak, since I ran away, too; I feel like I've abandoned the city when it needs me. But…"
What a pair they are. It almost makes Korra want to laugh at how tragic their lives have been thus far. Only together, Korra thinks, could they manage to feel happy now. Korra knows she needs to hear Asami's perspective on this... even if it is hard to swallow. She needs to grow, to heal, because the world may grow and heal with her.
Somehow, this non-bending, intelligent, kind, beautiful engineer of a woman relates to Korra on levels others never had. Asami had become Korra's dearest friend following Harmonic Convergence, and even three years of separation could not shake their feelings for one another. If nothing else, their respective time apart allowed them to reflect on exactly how the other woman made them feel.
In Asami's concerned embrace, under a shady canopy of trees in a world where no other humans may bother them, Korra feels loved. And she loves, just the same. Their fortnight away from the real world has provided them plentiful time for such hand-holds and embraces, playful kisses stolen beneath white-blue cherry blossoms and along sandy riverbeds. Their relationship has been slow-going, but they both seem to know it's something real. And that is enough.
Standing here now, Korra builds her courage, then shifts herself forward a few inches until her lips meet Asami's. The other woman jumps, not expecting the action in the middle of serious conversation.
Thankfully, Asami chuckles before kissing her back.
It's a chaste kiss more than anything. Korra pulls herself away before she can enjoy it too much. The feel of Asami's lips is amazing, plush and full and parting just slightly beneath her own, tempting her to press forward, to forget their painful conversation and just live in the moment instead. They've gotten lost in each other a number of times already, trying to forget all the rest.
But this isn't the right time for kissing. She won't disregard her girlfriend's words.
"Thank you," Korra tells her quietly. "I think I needed to hear this from you."
Korra looks up at the library suspended high above them. It's intimidating to even consider going in there, knowing Wan Shi Tong had sided with Unalaq before. He is no friend of theirs. An innate part of her doesn't trust this place. And yet, as Asami had said, a part of Korra has called her here. There has to be a reason for it.
If reading books is something Asami really believes may help, then she will try it.
"I will ask for Wan Shi Tong's assistance," Korra decides. "But you stay close to me, okay? I won't hesitate to fight him if he tries to hurt you."
"And why would I try to hurt her?"
The cold, echoing voice that suddenly joins them startles the women apart. They both scramble to face the way they'd come.
A white-faced owl, with ashy black feathers and a height thrice as tall as any man's, peers at them from around a particularly broad tree.
Cocking his head in curiosity, he drawls, "You seem to already know humans are not allowed here."