Chapter 1 - Commander
Plot: Anakin was never trained for battle, no matter what darkness his master possesses. Jedi are meant to be peacekeepers, but when the Clone Wars breaks out five years into his training, everything changes. Now thrust into a war he only half understands, Anakin has to find his way as a Jedi and hope Obi-Wan can do the same.
Author's Note: I spent too long thinking about the trauma effects of Melida/Daan actually happening, what kind of person Obi-Wan would become, and how that'd automatically change the universe and well, this was born. 💖 Plus, Obi-Wan and Rex taking care of little Anakin was too adorable to pass on.
PS. Updates will be weekly. :)
~ Rivana Rita
He's going to the fronts. Anakin still feels numb about it, and has ever since the order came through.
He's not prepared for battle. It's not something Obi-Wan ever trained him for – ever since he became a padawan, his master has gone out of his way to avoid anything of that nature to protect him. He didn't want Anakin to have to fight in a war, on the fronts with open lines, to have to lead, not when he was so young.
But here they are.
There are things even Obi-Wan can't control.
What does it mean to be a commander? Anakin hasn't officially been promoted yet, but he will be, as soon as his shuttle touches down, even if it's still unofficial. Anakin should probably feel something other than a deep-rooted uncertainty, but he can't help it. He is terrified, but they'll figure this out, and he's better off than most padawans his age.
He has Obi-Wan Kenobi, someone who loves him, would do anything for him.
They'll figure this out.
He has nothing to be afraid of.
Anakin tries to focus on breathing, to expel his nervousness into the Force as he guides his shuttle to the aqua ground of Christophsis. He's here both as reinforcements, and to call his master back to the Temple for their next mission, which is apparently considered more important.
Even if his master has already been fighting here for a while.
His heart is hammering, anyway.
The shuttle lands, and the engine shuts off.
The ramp feels like it takes forever to lower, but it's down way too soon, letting Anakin see.
His master is waiting for him some feet from the ramp, hands behind his back. His blue eyes are sharp and icy, with the same coldness that never-endingly sweeps around him. He's sharp, but to Anakin, it's just him.
Beside him is a clone in white and blue armor. All of them are, actually – most are entirely white, but some have a bit of blue.
These are the clones, their battalion, the men Anakin is about to be in charge of, and he doesn't know a single one.
No one cares about them. They don't matter. Not to the Republic, to the – anyone, because they were born to die, to be cannon fodder, and the mere thought is enough to make him sick.
His heart skips a few beats as Anakin walks down the ramp. "Hello, Master."
"Anakin," Obi-Wan nods to him, accent as sharp as ever, but hearing that voice warms something in him. Anakin hasn't seen him in weeks, and he's missed him so badly.
"This is Captain Rex," Obi-Wan continues, gesturing to the clone, "And Rex, this is my padawan, Anakin Skywalker."
The clone – Rex nods to him wordlessly. His presence is warm, a little earthy and grounding, and he feels... young. He's physically an adult, but he feels so bright and young and childish. He's younger than Anakin even, or at least he ought to be.
"I was told to deliver the message that we're needed on Coruscant immediately," Anakin replies, "There's an emergency."
"Do you know the details?" Obi-Wan inquires, and Anakin shakes his head. He wishes he did. "Well, we'll concern ourselves with that after the battle here is finished."
"What's it like here?" Anakin asks. "How bad is it?"
"Half the city is leveled," Obi-Wan replies bluntly, "The Separatists are regrouping for another attack."
"The Council told me you already won the planet."
"I am not sure where they got that information from, but it's incorrect, as usual." The bluntness. It's true, though. Obi-Wan has never had much trust for the Council.
"What do we do?" Anakin queries, "We can't leave until we win, right?"
"We can't allow a Separatist victory," his master promises, "We need to prepare a counterattack. Rex, show him around. I'll reassess our defenses."
Rex nods, and Anakin bites his lip, though he follows the clone as he leads him away.
Rex points out some of their weaponry to him as they go – apparently, a Separatist infiltrator took out their weapons, and Anakin senses there's something more that Rex doesn't elaborate on, and Anakin doesn't press. The captain is uncertain about Anakin's presence here. He can sense it, and it certainly doesn't help with his own uncertainty.
Seeing this place, it's hard to believe it used to be a city. It's half debris now.
"If I'm a padawan, that makes me a commander, right?" Anakin asks as they walk.
"Well," Rex replies slowly, "Technically, yes, it does."
"What does that mean for me? We never trained for this. I don't know anything about the military." It's blunt, but Anakin knows no other way.
"Experience outranks everything," Rex tells him, "But as a commander, you're responsible for four companies."
"Isn't that, like, five hundred people?" he asks a little weakly. He does not want this. Anakin has no idea what he's doing, but he has to try. He can't afford to be weak, to fail.
There's a distant sound, and Anakin senses something shifting. The Force is tensing, rippling with warning. "I think they're back," Anakin says, tensing.
"Yeah," Rex agrees slowly, looking out at the horizon. Anakin can see something red-tinted in the distance, and he has an instant bad feeling. "Time to get back to the briefing."
Obi-Wan is already there when they arrive, studying a holomap of the area with an overly intense scowl. It's the first time Anakin spots the other Jedi present – Siri, Obi-Wan's friend. She must've been preoccupied elsewhere earlier.
"They've ray-shielded their droids," Siri tells them when they approach, "We have no way through their defenses."
"We still have the cannons," Anakin suggests, moving in to look at it up close.
"The ray shields are too strong," Obi-Wan replies, barely glancing at him.
Anakin looks down at him again as the others go over their plan. It's rough, about how they'll fall back and try to lead the Separatists out into a place where they'll have a bit less cover, but there's only so far they can go, and the entire plan is banking on the hopes someone can get the ray shield down in the first place.
"We won't have time to go around," Obi-Wan says, finally, looking up. "I'll have to go through them."
Anakin reaches out, grabbing his sleeve and tugging lightly in an attempted reminder that he's still there. They go in together, and he has a very bad feeling about that. If Obi-Wan pulls that off, he'll get himself killed. "We can find another way," he suggests.
"I agree," Siri replies, eyes jumping to Obi-Wan again, "We're banking this whole mission on a suicide plan."
"What else would you suggest?" Obi-Wan demands, crossing his arms.
"We'll have to get through the droid lines," Anakin muses, eyeing the approaching tanks on the holomap. "If... we can't take one of them, we'll need another way. Maybe..."
"What's a good way to get through droid lines?" Rex asks.
It feels like they're all looking at him, and Anakin doesn't look up to see. They're counting on him, and this is his first time as a commander. He has to prove he's ready, but who is he kidding? He's not ready. He is so very not ready. Anakin hasn't led anyone in his life, except Carnelion IV when he convinced the children to help free him. He doesn't know what he's doing.
"We can't disguise ourselves as Separatists," Anakin continues, "Unless we can pretend to be a droid, which –" Okay, it's ridiculous, but what? It's all they have. "I have an idea."
**w**
And that, for as ridiculous as it is, is how Anakin and Obi-Wan get stuck crawling under a crate, pretending to be a droid. Siri thought it was hilarious, and Anakin agrees, but it's still mildly disconcerting. Could be worse.
Carefully moving through an entire array of sensors is definitely what Anakin would define as worse, but they make it through without tripping one, and he sets off the explosives.
Obi-Wan looks... Anakin doesn't really know, but he can't help the prickle of worry lighting up inside him. "Are you okay?" he asks quietly.
The question seems to throw his master off a bit – sometimes, it makes Anakin wonder how much his master has had people worry about him. "Of course." For a moment, they just look at each other, and Anakin tries to guess what's upsetting his master so much. His mind just pulls up blanks, though.
"Is it the war?" he queries finally.
The one thing he realized about his master is that Obi-Wan never talks about his past. He'll talk about Qui-Gon frequently enough, but never anything about when he was younger. There's something there Anakin doesn't know about. Obi-Wan has fought in wars before. When he was around Anakin's age, from the looks of it.
"It doesn't bring back the best memories," his master confesses, and Anakin finds his hand, squeezing it tightly.
Obi-Wan looks up at him, squeezing it back. "We should get back to the clones and help them out. I'm sure Siri could use our assistance."
Oh, yeah. Siri is one of Obi-Wan's only friends, and they evidently used to be far closer when they were younger. At least Anakin thinks they were – he could be wrong. He wishes he had a friend of his own at the Temple, but if he were to get them, only to lose them the way Obi-Wan has, he doesn't think he'd be able to handle it.
The last friend he had was Padme, and he hasn't had much time with her, even if they reunited briefly at the start of the war. And Kitster. And his mom.
**w**
Master Yoda, apparently, came with reinforcements right after Anakin. He stays to finish cleaning up on Christophsis – Siri captured the Separatist General, and she and Obi-Wan spent a full ten minutes bickering about who won – while Anakin and Obi-Wan, and the 501st, are being dispatched to Teth to rescue Jabba's son, of all people.
Because that matters.
Anakin's mother has been left behind in slavery for five years, and no one has gone back for her, but some random Huttlet is important enough for an entire company, and an entire Star Destroyer to be pulled off the fronts to search for.
He wants to scream.
And scream.
But if he started, he'd never stop, and that'd be disappointing his master as a Jedi, so he can't let out any of the frustrated rage building up inside him.
He goes to the hangar instead, looking over the ships there and trying to fix something, anything he can get his hands on. Something to just stop thinking.
It's Obi-Wan, of course, who finds him first.
Anakin scoots out from under the fighter he's working on, but he doesn't know what to say. He shouldn't be upset. He already knows that, but he can't help it.
His mother is still there on Tatooine, as a slave, the one person who deserves it the least, not that anyone deserves it.
Obi-Wan is watching him, arms crossed, quiet.
"I don't understand," Anakin sighs finally. "Why is helping Jabba so much more important than everyone else who needs it? What about – about –" My mother, he doesn't say, because he's not supposed to talk about her, even if Obi-Wan has never been forceful about that rule. Anakin isn't going to test his patience though. Not on that.
"The Council clearly deems the trade routes more important than the possibility of this being a trap," his master replies, walking a little closer.
"I know." He understands that, but that doesn't mean it seems right, or that it doesn't hurt. "But there's so many people who need help. If we just bring Rotta back, he'll become exactly what Jabba is."
"Well, we can't really kidnap him and raise him ourselves."
Anakin snorts. That's not what he was suggesting, or meant to imply, but he needed to hear it, anyway. "What if he was Force-sensitive? Could we keep him?" Not that he wants to, thank you very much, but he doesn't want to do this, either.
This is Jabba. It's probably all a set-up, and it's hard to say what his endgame is.
"Well, that would hardly be the first thing we've disobeyed the Council on."
That's not what this is about though.
"Master, what if Siri is walking into a trap?" Her padawan was supposed to join her on Tatooine, and they were to negotiate the treaty with Jabba himself. If something went wrong, Anakin can only imagine what would happen to them. He doesn't know if the Hutts have intentions to get Force-sensitive slaves, but he could see them trying.
It could get ugly very fast, and the chances of a war with the Hutts almost seems more... concerning, though maybe that would be for the best. Not fighting on two fronts, but the people they could help if they did.
Maybe.
"The chances are high that she is," Obi-Wan admits, "We will have to hope she's ready for whatever is to come."
"And... we'll hafta hope the same about ourselves."
**w**
Teth is – it is.
It's intense, and it's the first real battle Anakin has ever fought. Dodging the blaster fire from above the monastery they cut through to, while trying to avoid the – so many people are dying.
It hurts every single time. He feels their lives fading out into the Force as if a piece of himself is being ripped out. Anakin tries to cover for them, but it turns out there's very little he can do. He's just one person, and even if Obi-Wan is helping, there's just too many. He can't keep moving forwards if he keeps stopping to check everyone that's hurt, or if he keeps trying to cover for everyone.
The numbers that make it to the top are decimated compared to what there was, and he just feels sick.
Anakin is their commander.
Shouldn't he be able to do something about it?
He's no stranger to death, but there's a responsibility here that he doesn't understand.
So many people have died under their watch.
"Anakin, keep watch out here while Rex and I go inside," Obi-Wan orders, turning to him.
It feels like his master always wants to do things alone. It drives Anakin crazy sometimes – he has no idea what's happening to him, and he lost Qui-Gon. He lost his mother. He's terrified of losing Obi-Wan, too, and there's nothing like knowing how easily it could happen. If – if someone could kill Qui-Gon so easily, it wouldn't be much harder to get through to his master.
Anakin has to keep him alive. He needs him. He needs – but he's the padawan, and Obi-Wan will always get first say.
"Yes, Master," he agrees grudgingly, watching as he and the clones disappear through the towering doors.
This feels wrong.
He's supposed to protect them. To help them. He can, but... how? Anakin has no idea how. He's doing everything he can, and he's trying, but it's so hard. He doesn't know how long it'll be, what it'll take for Obi-Wan to finally realize that he can do this. He doesn't have to be left behind because he's incapable. Or defective. Or weak. He'll do whatever his master asks him, needs him to, because he – that's all he has.
Obi-Wan is all he has, all he's ever had.
The wait is hard, but Anakin doesn't sense anything amiss. He doesn't sense death, only a mixture of confusion and caution, so he waits until his master finally comes back out.
"There were more droids inside," Obi-Wan says the moment he catches sight of Anakin, who spins around at the sound of his voice, perking up. "I suspect Dooku is involved."
"Of course, he is," Anakin mutters, "We already knew that."
"Far too many to have been reprogrammed," he continues, "And I sense something elusive."
Anakin's heart skips a beat when he thinks about Geonosis. He wasn't there – he and Obi-Wan were on Naboo with Padme – but Anakin heard about it, and he knew Dooku killed a lot of people there. He killed the Jedi who came after him personally, or at least it was assumed that he did, because none of them were left to talk about it. "Dooku's here?" Anakin isn't ready to face him. He will if he has to, but he knows when he's not ready, and in this specific circumstance, he knows he isn't.
"We'd sense if he was, so, no," Obi-Wan replies, "Put a call through to Siri. We need to warn her."
**w**
The attack was imminent. Doesn't mean Anakin was ready for it, though. Now that they're inside the monastery, unlike before, they have nowhere to run. There's no way out – the only entrance is blocked, and the other is an empty landing platform in the back.
"We'll have to hold position," Rex says, "I hate to say it, but I don't know how we're going to get through their ranks."
Anakin looks at his master, biting his lip. He doesn't know what to do. "We can call in support, right?" he asks, "If we evacuate, we can get to the ships before they make it through. We have Rotta. We don't need to stay here."
"If we start retreating, we won't have anywhere to fall back to," Obi-Wan replies, "And the gunships will take time to arrive."
"But trying to fight back will just lose more men," Anakin argues. "I'm not afraid to fight. I just don't want anyone else to die." Not for Rotta. Not for Jabba. They're not worth it.
"We can call in backup," his master replies, "But we won't all be able to evacuate."
Anakin sighs. "What do we do?"
"Anakin, take Rotta to the landing platform," his master instructs, "Contact support. I'll stay with the clones."
Because the one thing about Obi-Wan is that he will never leave a fight unfinished, no matter what it is, or how dangerous it is. And Anakin doesn't want to leave, but he has orders, and he can't really argue, can he? "That'll be dangerous. For you, I mean."
"The stakes are higher on your part," Obi-Wan replies.
Force, he's never done something like this before. Anakin has never been alone on a mission, not... left alone to finish it himself. Not like this, anyway.
"I'll be fine," he tries to promise, though it feels like it falls flat. Leaving feels wrong. These are his men, too, even if Anakin has no idea how to be responsible for them, and he's just going. Yeah, maybe he's finishing the mission and it's what he needs to do, but that doesn't make it easy.
Anakin is used to being alone. That's been the core of who he is and what he's done for much of his life, but just standing there, waiting, when he can feel the battle elsewhere is grating on him. He has no idea how long it'll be before the gunship arrives, and he doesn't have time to wait.
He hates waiting. That always means bad things, always gets him or someone else hurt. He can't wait, but he can't drag the Huttlet back into the line of fire either, can he? Normally, there's always answers to any given situation right there, but that's nice and all to say when he's stuck on a landing platform with no ship or way off.
The trick is finding a way off that's not through the jungle where Rotta will get eaten by wild animals long before Anakin ever gets to a ship.
Obi-Wan says meditation is supposed to help, though his master struggles with it himself sometimes. He never says it, but Anakin can see it, and he doesn't know why, but he'll never mention it if Obi-Wan doesn't want to talk about it.
That is one thing Anakin can do, and it's not much, but it's something.
He kneels on the rocky ground, closing his eyes and trying to breathe. It shouldn't be so hard. Shouldn't be this hard to do anything, but Anakin can feel the pain and fear and death, and it's so hard for him to find any sort of center.
If what he needs is here, then...
It's the rising moon that brings a second platform into focus. There's a ship over there, which means he just needs to get over there.
There are animals around.
Flying creatures, actually. Giant bugs.
Anakin scoots to the edge of the platform, leaning off, ignoring Rotta's whining from the backpack he's stuffed in. He hesitantly raises his hand towards them, closing his eyes and trying to focus. They're bugs, and they're not too complex to latch onto. They don't fight him off or feel violent in the way that many of the creatures he's tried working with do.
He struggles with it even now – it's hard for him to connect with something without becoming what they are. Anakin doesn't know how to explain it to Obi-Wan, but it's never really mattered. All that does, is that he figures out how to do it.
He needs it now. Badly.
Rotta shrieks when Anakin jumps off the edge, but he lands atop one of the bugs, and does his best to guide it to the opposite platform.
Time to get out of here.
**w**
"Thanks for the pick up, sir," Rex tells him, and for a moment, Anakin is stunned speechless.
He's still not good with people, and definitely has no idea how to react to this. "Anytime," he answers awkwardly, sending the ship upwards towards the atmosphere of Teth, away from the chaos below. There are probably still some injured there, but Siri was supposed to arrive with reinforcements, and Anakin hopes she'll be able to pick up anyone who's left down there. It was hard enough to stop by to get his master and the few surviving clones. "I just wish I could've gotten there sooner."
"As it was, we made it out because of you," Rex replies.
It doesn't feel like they owe him thanks, or anything, no matter what the clones might think. So many of them are dead, and maybe that's not Anakin's fault, but he – he doesn't know how to deal with this. Doesn't know how to bring it up to Obi-Wan, either.
Instead, he just lets it rest.
**w**
The desert of Tatooine is the same as Anakin remembers it – sweltering, sandy, and in general, kind of spooky.
Maybe it sounds childish, and is just a little bit, but Anakin hates it here. It's too quiet, too bright, too dead, and he can feel so much pain layered in the Force of the planet's itself. He never wants to come here again, and there's nothing like the knowledge that his mother is still here in slavery while Anakin has to go rescue Jabba's son.
It's messed up. It's maddening. It makes him sick is what it does, but all of that is lost when Anakin senses something far more important.
"What's that?" he asks, pausing, a shiver snaking down his spine. Actually, he knows what that is. He felt it on Naboo once. He felt it right here once, too, actually – five years ago. "That's – that's Dooku, isn't it?" Because what could it be, if not a Sith?
"We can assume," Obi-Wan answers darkly, eyes narrowing as he scans the horizon. The golden orange light of the setting suns reflects off his eyes in a way that makes them look almost gold.
"Of course, he's here to get his hands dirty," Rex mutters, "What do we do, sir?"
"I think we'll have to split up," Anakin offers quietly, though he hates it. There's no other choice. They have to get Rotta back, and if Dooku's here...
"You might be right," Obi-Wan agrees reluctantly. "You know this place."
"There's a hidden route along the trail there," he offers, pointing. "It's a bit longer, but Dooku probably doesn't know about it."
"Take Rex and go," Obi-Wan orders, "And may the Force be with you."
"And with you," he murmurs, sliding down the sandhill onto the trail farther down, hoping their tracks will be covered by the time Dooku finds them. They don't have much longer.
The trek to the palace is quiet, aside from the crunching of sand under their feet. Considering the fact that Dooku's here, Anakin doesn't like it.
"I don't like this. It's too quiet," Rex half-grumbles as they walk.
"I agree," Anakin says. They're just a couple turns from the palace, and it's way too close. "Dooku's not this reckless. I know this might be dangerous, but we need to split up. You need to find cover. If there's droids here, they'll come after me. I'm the one with the Hutt."
"Be careful, kid," Rex requests.
Anakin nods, moving forwards.
He's just rounded the next bend when a trio of droids step from around the corner. MagnaGuards with electrostaffs. Anakin steps back, igniting his lightsaber. He's not fought these before, but he knows about double-bladed lightsabers. He knows how to fight them, and this isn't far different.
The clones are here, and he needs to lead the droids away. He promised to.
The droids come at him, spinning their electrostaffs, and Anakin jumps off the edge of the nearby cliff. He slides down it most of the way – a bit unpleasant, and it kicks up a large cloud of sand that he tries and fails to shake off – but they're away from the clones.
And they split up.
He jumps the first droid the moment it arrives, knocking it backwards and stabbing it through.
He backs off as the other two approach from opposite sides, and that's when the boys start firing. One of the droids drops instantly, and the other is damaged. Anakin spins around it from behind, slashing it in half. There. Done.
They need to hurry.
"You alright, kid?" Rex calls from above.
Anakin looks up at him, panting a little, but Force, that was actually fun. "I'm fine," he promises, "Now, let's get moving."
**w**
Anakin is in his quarters, rewiring a broken comm from one of the boys. It's not much, but it's what he's good at, and he's gotta make these quarters his own somehow. Machines seem like the best – easiest – answer. The wires are hard to connect, but that's from the size, or maybe just... that he's so tired.
The door slides open, and he doesn't need to look up to know that it's Rex. The clones feel similar in the Force, but they are different, and he would recognize Rex anywhere.
"Hey," Anakin says, narrowing his eyes a little on the comm, shifting on his bunk, "Is something wrong?"
"Not really," Rex admits, "I just came to see you."
His head snaps up, and Anakin blinks at him, confused, but he smiles a little, anyway. "Thanks." He looks back at the comm, connecting the last two wires. He doesn't know how to do this. Doesn't fully get what it means. "I've never had anyone do that before."
"Well," Rex says, and he seems just as awkward about it as Anakin is, "We are in charge of these men, and we need to learn to work together."
"Doesn't seem too hard." Not hard, no, but still, terrifying. Enough that Anakin desperately wishes he wasn't alone.
Maybe being a commander isn't so bad, after all, but really? Their adventures are just beginning.
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