Hey guys Sorry for the huge delay. My family has been playing "Ring-around-lets-get-sick" so i've been a bit out of commission. I'm hoping to get back at it again. Here's the next chapter.
Chapter 20:
Harry smashed his head really hard on the desk in front of him several times. He was trapped at the library yet again with his study group and they were not getting anywhere. Tess slipped her hand between his head and the desk to prevent him from hurting himself while the other two in the group kept arguing, failing to notice anything.
They had been there for a better part of two hours, and it was approaching 8pm already. They had hardly done anything, and it was starting to stress and annoy Harry out. He didn't have a lot of time in the first place for these study groups, even though he was well aware how important they were, but he wanted to be as productive as possible.
"Hey guys, can we get back to business?" Tess said loudly, trying to interrupt them. They both looked at her annoyed.
"We are talking about business Tess." Nera sneered at her. Tess rolled her eyes.
"I meant about the project. We have to give a summary update in two weeks and we've hardly done anything." She said exasperated.
"Yeah, fine." Nera replied in a huff. They all got back to the project for a bit, though it didn't last very long as Adam and Nera started arguing again. At that Harry looked at his watch and ended the session.
He sat there after the other two left with Tess and sighed deeply when they were out of sight. Again, he began smashing his head onto the desk.
"Knock that off before you cause brain damage." Tess scolded packing up her stuff. Harry glared at her.
"I'm not sure I don't already have it. We're never going to get done with this." He sighed.
"Yes, we will, and then we can be rid of them. I don't get how they made it so far. I just hope they get different classes next year." Harry thought for a moment about the next year, feeling exhausted just thinking about it. He didn't know how he was going to arrange class, work, Evelyn, and his friends in.
Next year's classes would be more intense with actual hands-on experience. But he had other things on his mind as well. With Evelyn turning five in June, he wanted to get on teaching her more of the basics of magic and such so she would have an advantage when she began school.
Though he had originally had no plans of returning to the Wizarding world until Evelyn turned eleven and was to go to Hogwarts, and even that plan had been tentative at best, he had been forced to alter his decision when Ron and Hermione came back into his life. And even more so when Ginny did as well.
The thought of Ginny brought a grin to his face, which Tess did not fail to notice. He was worried that things were progressing too fast with her, being that they were apart for so long and everything that's happened with him since they were last together. He thought he should slow things down a bit, especially for Evelyn's sake, but he didn't want to waste anymore time away from Ginny. She accepted him and Evelyn, and as long as she was alright with how things were going he was going to keep it up.
"What are you smiling about eh?" Tess asked curiously. Harry's grin dropped a little bit, not realizing he had been smiling. He coughed a bit and looked a little nervous.
"I was just thinking of a friend." He said simply. He noticed she was packed up and began doing so himself.
"That Hermione girl?" She asked with just a bit of dislike in her voice. He glanced up at her for a second.
"Uh, no. But she is a friend of Hermione's. Her name is Ginny who is soon to be her sister-in-law." He said. Tess obviously didn't like that answer any better but tried to cover it up.
"Oh, more friends from the past? More and more keep cropping up. I've only met the one." She hinted.
"Yeah, I know. I'll introduce you soon. I promise." Harry said, getting up. Tess followed.
"How about this weekend then? I'm not busy." She suggested. Harry started walking out of the library.
"This weekend is no good, I'm doing something with Ginny and Evelyn." He told her. Tess stopped as they exited the library.
"Evelyn's met her?" She spat. Harry turned around to look at her confused.
"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't she have?"
"Well considering how protective you are of who she meets. I mean I'd known you over a year before I met your kid. But this girl just comes into your life, and you already introduced her?" She was getting angry.
"Well, I've known Ginny for years." He said.
"Funny, I thought you didn't keep contact with people from the past." She bit out. Harry rolled his eyes and leaned against the railing of the stairs wearily.
"Seriously Tess, what's wrong? I don't have time for this. Just tell me what the problem is." He said. She stepped right in front of him.
"What's wrong? Seriously Harry? Are you that dense?" She shouted at him. A few last minute stragglers out of the library stared at them, but she took no notice. "I like you, Harry. Like really like you, but you keep pushing me aside. What do I have to do to get your attention?" He looked at her intensely. He had noticed she liked him, but he didn't feel the same way.
"Look, Tess. I'm sorry. I know you like me but…"
"You know? You've known about my feelings and you just didn't care?" She demanded.
"I did care Tess. I care about you, and our friendship. But I just don't feel the same way as you, I'm sorry." He said. She glared at him, not sure what to say.
"Why not? Why can't you like me Harry? We're great friends, we could be great lovers too." She was getting hysterical at his rejection.
"Tess, I'm sorry, but…"
"NO! Tell me. I love you! Do you know that? I love you." She grabbed the front of his shirt trying to bring him for a kiss. But he just grabbed her wrist and stopped her. He looked directly into her eyes, he could see tears brimming there.
"I don't love you." He said simply. She looked desperately up at him, tears starting to fall. "I'm sorry Tess."
"But you could learn to right? You need a woman, someone to love you. And Evelyn, she needs a mother. I could be that for her. I could be her mother." Harry looked down at her sadly.
"No Tess, you can't be. I don't love you. I love Ginny." He admitted. Tess's desperation turned to rage.
"Ginny? You don't even know her. You claim to have for years but I know you haven't seen her in years. How is it that you take her so suddenly and reject me? What about that night last year? Did that mean nothing to you?" She spat out angrily.
"That was an accident, Tess. I thought we were past that. We should never have slept together. It was a mistake! I'm sorry, look I have to go." He let go of her wrists and started walking down the stairs. Tess watched him go, collapsing in a heap of tears once he was out of sight.
Harry walked quickly to his car. Once he opened the door and got in the driver's seat he let out the breath he was holding. He bowed his head on the wheel in frustration. He didn't mean for this to happen. He never meant for anything to happen but for some reason drama followed him.
He was starting to become afraid of what will happen in the future. Everything seemed to be falling apart and coming together at the same time. His life in the Muggle world was starting to disappear before his eyes, and he seemed to being forced head first back into the Wizarding world.
He sat up and stared out the windshield. The question was, did he fight the Wizarding world and fight for his Muggle life, or should he just allow it to take him full force. If he couldn't keep his Muggle life completely, he at least hopped in the future there would be some middle ground. Every instinct in his body told him to pack the house up tonight and take Evelyn and run, but did he really want that? Did he want to leave his friends again? Leave Ginny?
Harry put the key in the ignition and drove to Laura's to pick up Evelyn, his mind full of thoughts about everything. He couldn't seem to turn his brain off. But as he picked up Evelyn, and took her home, and put her to bed, the answer was surprisingly simple.
He would fight for the middle ground. It was time to stop hiding.
But the question was how to do that? He had been away for so long, he wasn't quite sure what to do. He glanced at the wall in Evelyn's room to see the clock. It was just past 9:30. He wondered if Hermione was still up.
Mind made up Harry placed a final kiss on his daughter's head before heading downstairs to his phone. He stared at it for a second guessing himself before shaking his head and selecting Hermione's number.
"Hey mom." Hermione's voice fluttered through on the other end after a couple of rings. Harry chuckled.
"Hello my darling Hermione." He said in the worst imitation of a female voice ever.
"Harry? Is that you?" She asked surprised.
"Yeah, it's me, I was wondering if you were busy." He asked. He sat on the couch cross-legged and leaned on his leg with the phone to his ear.
"No, not at all. Just going over some wedding plans. What's going on?" She asked him hesitantly.
"I was hoping that maybe you could come over for a little bit, I need to talk about something with someone and you're the most logical choice." He said simply. He could just imagine her face at the moment.
"Um, yeah, sure. Let me just tell Ron where I'm going. I'll be right there." She said,
"Ok, just apparate into the garage, I took down the apparition wards around it." He told her. They said their goodbyes and hung up. He waited for her to arrive feeling kind of nervous though he wasn't sure why. Talking to Hermione about and through things had always been easy for him. She was always calm and logical and saw everything in a multitude of ways giving a broad perspective, but right now it felt anything but simple. Soon though he heard a knock on the door to the garage and got up to answer it.
"Hey Hermione." He said as he gestured her into his house and led her to the living room.
"So what's this thing you need to speak to someone about?" She asked. He plopped back on the couch in his previous cross legged position, and she followed suit, kicking off her shoes first.
"I'm not quite sure." He said, she raised her eyebrow "ok I do know but I'm not quite sure exactly, if it makes sense." He started twitting his fingers together.
"It does Harry. What's going on?" She asked, concerned. He was silent for a moment thinking of what to say.
"I think, maybe, well perhaps...I need to go back to the Wizarding world." He said. Her eyes widened in surprise. Clearly this wasn't what she was expecting him to say. He knew they were all expecting him to run away, and honestly, they weren't wrong in their presumptions.
"What brought this decision on? You were very upset the other morning about us finding you, and now you want to go back?" She asked him confused. A small smile graced his features. She was definitely the right one to talk to.
"I know I was, but, I don't know. I had spoken to Andromeda after work that day and I just had a confrontation of kind with Tess a few hours ago and it just made me think." He said. She looked at him curiously.
"What kind of confrontation?"
Harry looked away from her, wishing she hadn't asked that. "I've known Tess for a couple years now, since I started on my advanced degree. I've known the whole time that she had a crush on me."
"Harry, a lot of girls have had a crush on you."
"Yes, well, last year at the end of finals there was this huge celebration thrown by another classmate of ours and after a lot of drinks I ended up sleeping with her."
"Oh Harry…"
"I know." He said angrily at himself. "I shouldn't have drank, I typically don't. I tend to be very slutty when I do."
"Slutty?" Hermione snorted.
"Easy then? I don't know the word. Now that I think about it there's not really a word for a guy who sleeps around."
"Ah yes, sexism at its finest."
"Anyways," He continued. "I regretted it immediately. She's a close friend and I didn't feel the same towards her. I thought we got over it, you know. But tonight, she said she loved me. She was so angry and upset when I told her I didn't feel the same and I admitted to her that I loved Ginny."
"Is that where the decision came from to come back?" She asked him.
"Yes." He replied quietly. "I realized if I want to keep Ginny in my life then I need to come back. I knew I would have to in some capacity once Evelyn went to Hogwarts, but I've decided not to wait. Though, now that I know how wizarding Britain thinks children out of wedlock, I may not have come back at all."
"Yes, how did you not know? We all thought Andromeda would have told you, especially once Evelyn showed magical abilities."
"I asked her that too and her answer made complete sense. There was just so much going on with me and Evelyn and her mother and my working to build some kind of life that it just didn't seem important. Everything I was doing was in the muggle world and I gave no indication of going back."
"But what about Evelyn's schooling? Eventually you would send her to Hogwarts?"
"She had already thought of that. She had been collecting information on schools in other countries. She had been thinking of sending Teddy to one of them as well, due to his father being a werewolf. Apparently most other countries are more open."
Silence descended the two of them as Hermione took in all the information he had just given her. He could tell by her furrowed brow and taunt posture that she had figured out what that would mean. That if Evelyn went to Hogwarts, they would have eventually seen him again anyways, but if he had followed Andromeda and sent Evelyn to another school, they would probably never have seen him again.
It truly was good luck that they had accidentally found him.
"What about your life here? You still have friends here, a house, Evelyn's life is entirely here." She asked, making Harry grateful to move on from that sad line of thinking.
"Well, I'm not giving it up entirely. I'm looking for more of a merger. I'm keeping my job, my house, my kid." He chuckled at that. "But I am magical, I am a wizard, and so is my daughter, and my family. Thinking of it now, it was silly for me to expect a few weeks ago to just be exclusive to one or the other. I'd have to give up too much in either world."
"And I'm sorry Harry but we're not giving you up that easily." She laughed.
"I wouldn't want you to. I just don't know what to do to make it so. I don't want to hide anymore. But I also don't want to give up the freedom I've gained by living as a muggle." Hermione thought for a moment at that, trying to come up with a solution.
'Well, a good first step and one that will surprise everyone would be if you showed up at the memorial at Hogwarts next Thursday." She suggested. He looked at her intently.
"I guess I could think about it." He replied softly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go back there. Sure, he'd have to send his daughter there in six years but that didn't mean he had to go. He hated that he felt that way now about Hogwarts. It had been his salvation from the abuse at the Dursleys, it had been the first place that Harry had ever really called home. But as worse piled upon him from there, ranging from being ostracized by the entire school up to the final battle of the war, the place he had once called home had become tainted.
"I know it will be hard Harry, but you'll be surrounded by all of us. I'm no therapist but it could be helpful to finally heal completely." She suggested.
"Hermione, I don't think I'll ever be completely healed. But I'll consider it. I really will."
"Good. And next, I don't think you'll need to worry about people bugging you here. With the area being over 85% Muggle, by law they can't print your address and they can't just come and go as they please. The law is on your side and as it involves the statue of secrecy it will actually work for you. You are safe here. Plus all your wards and such. So you'll keep your Muggle life just fine." She told him.
Harry nodded, pleased to hear that. "What about reporters? I haven't seen any around the house, but I've seen them at the park and they're at the school."
"Yes, we know." Hermione said, surprising him. "You've been in just about every publication available."
"What the hell!" He covered his face with the palms of his hands as he tried to take a few deep breaths. He stayed like that for a few moments before Hermione reached out and pried one of his hands away.
"I know it's horrible, but don't worry. We are handling it." She said, "We have a lawyer who is working with law enforcement on filing cease and desist complaints and criminal charges."
"Where did you get a lawyer?"
Hermione looked away from him. "Doesn't matter. The fact is we have one."
"I don't want you guys paying for something like that, it sounds expensive. At least give him my information and I can pay for it."
"Harry, this guy, whose name is Marigold Cavanaugh by the way, is a top shelf lawyer specializing in both magical and muggle law. How do you plan to pay for his services while also paying for a kid, a house, schooling, and everything else on a public school teacher's salary? I may not be as knowledgeable about the muggle pay scale but even I know teachers are paid in peanuts."
Wow, there was a for him to unpack in right there as he stared at her incredulously for a few beats. "Ok, first of all Hermione, his name is Marigold? What the hell is with magical parents? Is there some kind of weird wizarding law that says you must name your kids weird names? I mean, hello…it's not the Middle Ages anymore. Second of all, yes, you're right, I do get paid in peanuts, thankfully a mixed can that has cashews, almonds, and pecans so they're fancy. And thirdly, you know how awkward this is for me to admit, but I'm actually rich. And I don't mean just a little rich, I mean a lot rich. If the goblins at Gringotts are to be believed, and I believe them as they know their stuff, between the Potter vaults and the Black vaults I've inherited, I probably have more gold than the whole wizarding Britain combined. So, I could probably afford this guy."
Hermione just stared at him unblinking for a few moments before she burst into laughter. "Oh Harry, only you would have that much money and live so modestly."
"What's wrong with the way I live? I happen to love this house."
"I don't mean anything by it Harry." She placated. "I just meant, if you're that rich, well, most people would live in a mansion in a secluded area and I don't know, be more like Malfoy was."
"You know I've never been comfortable with my wealth." He explained. "Growing up with the Dursleys I watched as they bought things, the best things, and how it made them feel superior to everyone else even if the happiness they obtained from the object was fleeting. Especially if it came to me. They had never once bought me anything new. And even the stuff they did give me of Dudley's, they made sure to give me the worst. You saw my wardrobe. Dudley had so many nice clothes growing up that even though they would drown me still due to our size differences, I still would have looked nicer. But the Dursleys made sure I didn't get those ones. Those clothes they donated or just threw away, saving the worst for me. The most dower, ripped, destroyed. Reminding me of my place in the world."
"Harry…"
"It's fine." He cut her off, not wanting to hear any platitudes "I didn't care about the material items. I still don't. What I wanted was what Ron had. He always wanted what I had, which was money and fame, and I truly wished I could have traded with him and let him have it. Because I wanted what he had, a family, who loved him no matter what. A place to feel safe. To have an adult to talk to and to protect me. To not know what it felt like to truly be starving."
He paused again, watching as Hermione wiped away a tear. He didn't like that he upset her, but he had long ago, in the hospital, learned that keeping things all bottled up inside himself wasn't healthy. Plus, he was sure this was nothing new to her. She had always known, being as perceptive as she was. This was just the first time he admitted it out loud to her.
They were quiet for a moment, each thinking of various things. Harry couldn't help but feel grateful that Hermione was still his friend. He had worried so long ago that they would eventually just get tired of it and abandon him, and leave him like everyone else but their perseverance in the past month and their dedication in the past 8 years had proved to him without a doubt they were there to stay.
"Hermione, tell me about Ginny." Hermione looked confused again.
'What do you mean Harry?" She asked him. "We've told you about Ginny, and don't you talk to her? You guys seem awfully cozy lately." Harry laughed.
"Yeah, we are. But I want to know about the past eight years. She told me how you and Ron were waiting for me to come back before you get married. I think that's just silly." He scolded her lightly. Her face brightened a little bit in embarrassment, but she wasn't ashamed.
"It was our decision, Harry. You didn't make us do anything; we chose to wait." She told him.
"I never wanted you guys to put your lives on hold. I wanted you all to live full lives, get married, have children, everything." He said.
"Like you?" She countered. She watched his reaction closely. To his credit he didn't even flinch.
"My moving on was more an accident and force than a need. If Evelyn wasn't born…" He stopped and shook his head. He didn't want to think of such things. He loved Evelyn more than anything in his life. But he was well aware of the difference his life would be if she hadn't been there.
"If Evelyn wasn't born what?" Hermione prompted. Harry shook his head.
"Forget it. There is no point in it. The fact is, she was. And while I would change some things in life, I would never change her birth. She's my life." He said. Again, they sat in silence.
"She didn't put her life entirely on hold for you Harry. People talk and it seems like it, but she did try to move on. She had relationships, she has a career. She hoped you would come back but she didn't hold her breath exactly. Not many people know this, but she was actually engaged once." He looked up at that. She had not told him that.
"To who?" He asked curiously. Hermione grinned.
"To Dean. About 3 years ago. They dated for about a year, mostly in secret before he proposed. She took three days to say yes."
"What happened then?" He asked, puzzled. Hermione hesitated for a moment.
"Well, after four months and she hadn't told her family he kind of broke it off. He wasn't upset or anything, but he was kind of hurt. I'm the only one, aside from you now and maybe Seamus that knows."
"Well, I'm glad she at least Tried." He said absentmindedly. Silence ensued after that. They lounged for a while just basking in each other's company.
"What about you Harry?" Hermione inquired. "Where have you been? Ginny said you told her about the Horcruxes." She said, Harry looked taken aback at that.
"She did?"
"Yes, please don't be mad. She was just very upset over it. She was so angry that we had kept that information from her. Why didn't you tell us what you were going through? We could have helped you." Harry rolled his eyes and laughed. He thought of his next words carefully, not wanting to hurt her.
"Look, I know you guys really wanted to help me." He started, taking a pause to think of his words. "But I really don't feel, especially now, that you guys could have helped me. I don't think anyone in the wizarding world could. They were too close to the events."
With that he launched into an abbreviated story that he had told Ginny. Hermione sat up listening intently hanging on his every word. It broke her heart to hear of all the pain that he had gone through, but she was glad that looking at the man now, though he'd been gone so long, had somehow managed to heal enough to live.
"Did you ever find out who the patron was?" She asked curiously. Harry shook his head.
"No, and I never asked to be honest, aside from when I first found out. They wished to be anonymous, and they were." Harry said.
"It must be someone who knows Dr. Kore's sister then." Hermione thought. Harry looked at her confused. "Well, they would need to know her, how else would they know a Muggle psychiatrist? And it must be someone close to you. You may be the Savior, Harry, but where you were, the hospital and the group home, sounds like very expensive places. And you were never charged, so this patron must be very wealthy or owed some big favors."
"Hermione just leave it please. It's been years." He insisted.
"Do you still see Dr. Kore?" She asked him.
"Yeah, twice a month." He answered.
"Do you pay him yourself?"
"Hermione, seriously leave it. I do, my insurance covers it. This person wanted to be left anonymous and I'm going to let them. I'm through with mysteries. I don't have time for them." He considered the matter closed, though Hermione's mind was just saving the facts so she could solve it herself then.
"Do you think Ginny and I are moving too fast, Hermione?" He asked. He had been fighting with himself over that for the past few days. It seemed one second, they were just seeing each other for the first time and the next second they were back together.
"Well, yes and no. On the one hand you guys moved very quickly as if nothing ever happened, but on the other if it feels right then why not? Why waste any more time? You love her, she loves you. I don't see a problem. And the family is happy about it of course.
"Even with Evelyn?" He muttered. Hermione looked at him pointedly.
"Yes, even with Evelyn. I know it's horrible how Wizards think but we'll just have to change their minds. The Weasleys love you, Harry. They know you're a good person. This stupid thing is just that, stupid. It's antiquated thinking just like everything else." She assured him.
"It really is. Nobody here blinked an eye aside from curiosity on me being a single father. I'm worried about the effect it will have on Evelyn though." He said worried.
"Well, I think it will be a big scandal at first, but it will die like it always does Harry. Who knows, maybe the Boy-Who-Lived being a single unmarried father is just the thing that will change their minds and make it better." She suggested. Harry snorted, doubting it.
"I've been thinking of slowing it down with Ginny. It's going too fast. And you're right I do love her, but Evelyn is feeling kinda left out." He said.
"What do you mean, everyone loves her and tries to include her."
"Yeah well. Even so, she feels that everyone is just wanting me, and not wanting her." He then proceeded to explain about the temper tantrum she had. Hermione frowned at that.
"How about we start doing things with just her then." She suggested.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, like on nights or something where you have class, maybe Ron and I could take her. And on weekends we can maybe plan for her to play at Bill's house with his kids. You know. Plan things that seem like it's just for her and not just babysitting." Harry looked at her thoughtfully.
"Brilliant! I'm sure she'll love that." He looked up at the ceiling as if he could see Evelyn. They made plans for Hermione to take Evelyn on Tuesday night when he had class next and keep her until Wed morning when she has preschool. Harry was hesitant at first about the sleepover, the only time he hadn't had her overnight was on the weekends she spent with Andromeda and Teddy. He felt it was too big a step, but Hermione eventually convinced him and it was settled.
"Where the bloody hell have you been? I thought you'd be home hours ago." Ron complained sleepily as Hermione got into bed that night.
"You know perfectly well that I was at Harry's, Ronald, I told you before I left." She scolded.
"I didn't think you'd be gone all night. It's almost 2am." He complained. Hermione huffed.
"Well, I was having a nice chat with him and I wasn't about to stop it." She said, They laid there in silence as Hermione felt her mind start shutting down for the night, feeling content as she snuggled into Ron.
"What did you two talk about then?" Ron asked her. Hermione thought for a moment wondering what would be alright to tell him.
"Well, loads of things. Harry wants to come back. He wants to find a middle ground and keep his muggle life while reentering the wizarding world." She said, Ron perked up that.
"Really? That's GREAT! When's he coming back? What's he doing?" He asked enthusiastically. This was great news.
"Down boy. He might come to the memorial at Hogwarts on Thursday. But he didn't make any promises." With that she scooted further down in bed and turned off the light. Ron still sat there against the headboard.
"That's great news Hermione. Ginny will be glad to hear it."
"Yes, by the way we're taking Evelyn Tuesday afternoon and keeping her till Wednesday morning." She said, She turned so she was facing him.
"Why?" He asked, confused.
"Well, Harry says Evelyn's having a bit of trouble and thinking we only want him, so we are doing this."
"Why Tuesday? Why not take her this weekend so that he and Ginny can get some alone time or something. I doubt Harry's had a real date in years." He snorted. Hermione didn't comment as she wasn't so sure that was true. From the sounds of it, Harry had attempted moving on too.
"Well, I picked Tuesday cause she knows he has class that night. That way it feels more like a treat and less like we're babysitting so her dad can spend time with Ginny. She's feeling especially jealous of her."
"And why would she feel that? Ginny's no threat to Evelyn." He said. Hermione huffed again, starting to get annoyed at him for being this dense.
"Yes, she is Ronald. To Evelyn, she's been the only girl in Harry's life. Probably the only steady person. Ginny poses a threat of taking her father away from her. She's jealous of Ginny taking time away from her that was hers to begin with. " Hermione explained.
"Oh. Yeah well, I guess that makes sense." He mumbled, giving a loud yawn.
"Go to sleep Ron. We'll figure it out tomorrow." Ron scooted down into bed as well turning off his own light. And snuggling next to Hermione he fell into a peaceful sleep.