Of course.
Of course this would happen to me. I would get pregnant with the guy that just broke up with me and who basically hated me right now.
Spring break was slightly hazy except for one night, the night before me and Cappie broke up on the beach. That night before my birthday me and Cappie had celebrated pretty hard, drank quite a bit and then got back to our hotel room and…. well… let's just say 'celebrated' some more. Multiple times. And how stupid I had been, missing taking my birth control pills on that trip, and who knows if he'd remembered to use a condom since that night we were both pretty high on life, and well… tipsy.
Stupid, stupid Casey, I scolded myself. But when it came to him… I seemed to lose all common sense. It was one of the best night's of my life, but now I had this hanging over my shoulders. A positive pregnancy test in my hands. And a guy I could barely even speak to, who definitely didn't want to be a dad right now. Or… ever.
"Case!", I hear a knock on the door and it startles me so much that I drop the test.
"Ash… is that you?", I say meekly, my hands still shaking.
"Yeah it's me, can I come in?"
I get up off where I was sitting on the side of the bathtub to unlock the door, surprised that she's here.
"Will you just tell me what's going on? You never miss a night out. And it's going to be one of our last ones as seniors!", She says. She's in a black dress, her makeup and hair done, probably wondering what the hell im doing in a tank top and sweat shorts.
"Ash….", I say, giving her a look, a tear falling down my cheek. "You didn't have to come home for me".
"Yes I did, you're my best friend and I know somethings going on with you. Are you still sad about Cappie? Because I thought you were just coming around after the two weeks of wallowing".
"No it's not that… well it's kinda related but…", I stumble over my words. "Here".
I hand her the test.
"Oh my god", She looks at me and then turns around to close to door and lock it. "Is this what I think it is?"
I nod and sit back down on the edge of the tub.
"And it's positive?"
"Yeah that's kind of the reason why I'm camped out in here crying", I throw my hands up. "Ash what the hell am I going to do?"
"Oh my god… I'm just trying to get my mind around this", She paces back and forth before stopping to look at me. "I can't believe you're gonna have a baby".
"Ash don't say that. I- I don't even know if it's real yet, let alone if I'm actually going to have it. So… hold your horses", I say.
"Sorry, I'm just sort of freaking out… have you told Cappie?"
"Well not in the two minutes between me just finding out and now!", I say sarcastically. "I've… I've thought I could be for a couple days now, I was just procrastinating actually taking a test. Ash I saw him at the coffee cart yesterday and all I wanted to do was hug him and tell him how scared I was. But of course I couldn't do that…"
Ashleigh looks at me sadly and pulls me in for a hug and sits beside me on the side on the tub.
"Well you have to tell him eventually Case", She urges me. "This is… this is real and it's serious and he's involved in it".
I look down again for a moment.
"I don't even know if he'd want to be involved in it… that's the thing. So it probably doesn't even matter anyway. I would probably just be setting myself up for more sadness", I finally voice my concerns, looking at her to help make me feel better.
"Case…", She gives me a pitiful look. "I don't know cappie as well as you do but I do know that he's basically obsessed with you".
"Was obsessed with me", I clarify. "Now he's pretty much treating me like I don't exist. And a baby is literally the last thing in the world he would want. I mean can you even imagine that? Him with a baby?"
"Not really", Ashleigh thinks about it for a moment and laughs slightly. "We'd have to keep him or her away from Kappa Tau parties, that's for sure".
"I'm- I'm not even sure if I should keep it", I say sadly. "I… I don't even think I can provide the right environment for a baby. I can't go to law school at GW and be pregnant".
I think about law school. There was absolutely no way I could do it with a baby. Not to mention I would be all by myself. I wouldn't have my parents, Rusty, my friends, or… Cappie to help out with it.
"It would… it would probably be born in early January", I say softly. "Smack dab in the middle of the school year".
I put my head in my hands and let out a groan.
"I'm sure we could work something out", Ashleigh tries to console me but I can tell she's not sure what to say because there's nothing she can really say to make this better. "Do you want me to call cappie to come over? I could beat him up for getting you pregnant?"
We laugh then.
"It wasn't exactly just his fault. In myrtle beach I was really bad about taking my birth control on time because we were out most nights", I explain. "Plus I don't even know if we used condoms or not that night. I can't remember".
"What night?", Ashleigh asks hesitantly, slightly grossed out about hearing and me and Cappie's sex life.
"The second last night we were there… remember the party? The margaritas? The Jell-O shots? And the DJ?", I recount to her.
"Oh yeah….", A smile appears on her face. "Things did get kinda crazy. I mean I didn't have unprotected sex that night, I just crashed in my room after but… you know, to each their own".
I give her a look, crossing my arms and then I pick up the pregnancy test on the counter. "I'm gonna have to hide this… or burn it. All of them. None of the other girls can know".
"My lips are sealed I promise. I know I don't have the best track record for keeping secrets but this is important and I won't let you down", She assures me.
"Thanks Ash. I'm really scared but… it's good to know I have you on my side. At least I have one person", I say, tears threatening to spring to my eyes again as I pull her in for a hug.
"For the record Case… I know you'll have more than just me. Tell Cappie… and tell Rusty. They'll both be there for you", She says to me.
"I'll think about it Ashleigh… I just want to confirm it at the doctor first", I say to her but she gives me a look that tells me she knows I'm just trying to put off the inevitable.
"How many tests came up positive?", She asks.
I pause for a moment.
"Well… all 10 of them", I say, gesturing to the boxes on the counter containing the many pregnancy tests I took, praying just one would come up negative,
"Case if I was betting money I would say that there's for sure a baby in there", She gestures to my stomach.
"No there isn't Ash, it's only a few cells… it probably doesn't even look anything like a baby that you see in those ultrasound pictures on TV. It's literally just a zygote", I counter.
"Okay miss greys anatomy", She jokes with me. "I know it's hard but it's like pulling off a bandaid. Then at least he'll know".
"Alright fine. But after I confirm it with the doctor and have actual, scientific proof!", I argue.
"Okay fine", She says. "I can even go with you".
I smile at her.
"I love you for that Ash… but I think this is something I need to take on on my own. I just turned 22 in case you forgot", I give her a look and laugh.
"Happy 22nd birthday Case, your present was getting pregnant", Ashleigh jokes.
I give her an annoyed look.
"Yay me", I sigh. "I just know I'm gonna have to move back in with my parents in Chicago if I keep it. And that's exactly what I don't want to do".
"You could stay here", Ashleigh suggests. "You have friends here, it's uncle would be here, not to mention it's father".
I entertain the thought for a moment.
"Well I wouldn't be able to stay in the ZBZ house, that's for sure", I remind her. "I could get an apartment off campus, defer my admission to GW for a year and just hope that somehow things would get easier and I could go. I just don't want to end up living in my childhood bedroom with a baby".
"Well maybe you won't have to".
"You're leaving Ash. And that pretty much just leaves Rusty and some of the girls here to help me out a bit and I can't ask any of them to do that while they're in class. It makes the most sense that if I keep the baby, I'm gonna have to move back to Chicago", I sigh.
"Yeah but you're forgetting one piece of key information. It's dad would be here", She gives me a look and I sigh.
"I know", I say and we sit in silence for a few moments more, neither one of us equipped to deal with this.
"I still really love him Ash", I say softly, my voice breaking as a tear runs down my cheek. "So much it hurts".
"I know you do", She pulls me in for a squeeze. "It's gonna be okay".
I appreciated Ashleigh's words so much but they weren't really who I wanted to hear them from. But I knew hearing them from him would be a long shot. So for now I just pulled my best friend in tighter, thanking whatever god there was that she came home and found me.