A loose version of this has been rolling around my brain for years. I finally decided to do something about it. I've got a lot of this written, but am not exactly sure where it's going, so y'all know enough to know this might take years to complete :). But hopefully it will be a fun adventure. This takes place during Hey Dude, but diverges from canon. Assume the premise is the same, but I'm rewriting some scenes, adding in some, and changing the direction this goes in. I wanted to explore the fallout from Tony's decision to sleep with Kathleen, examine what remained in the aftermath, and put some context around it, while also exploring Angela and Samantha's bond as well as see if Samantha and Matt might have something to teach our favorite couple. Hank fans, my apologies in advance. I always thought Matt, while a little rough around the edges, introduced some interesting parallels to explore further, and to be honest I liked Hank's parents more than I liked Hank. Jonathan fans, my apologies but I am true to this period in the series and didn't give him a ton to do in this. I really do love Jonathan (and Danny) as a character though.

I realize it's quite silly that anyone on a dude ranch would be allowed to just take the horses and go wherever they want on the grounds without the staff, but since this happened on the show, who am I to mess with greatness. Any scenes we only see partially (or are skipped altogether) you can assume happened as they did on the show. xo, scm

Check Yes or No

Tony flailed about, frustrated and fighting with his jacket. Angela helped him untangle his watch from the cuff of the sleeve, freeing his arm and allowing him to lumber into his window seat with a huff.

"What am I doing here? This was a horrible idea. I'm going to kill her when I see her," Tony grumbled.

Angela suppressed To be perfectly honest, she wasn't exactly sure what she was doing here either. Angela took her seat next to him and laid his jacket across his lap, giving his thigh a quick warning squeeze.

"No you won't. We're going to rehearse what you're going to say because whatever you do, you cannot explode when you see her. Do you remember why that is, Tony?" Angela's voice was gentle but firm.

"It will only push her further away," he muttered, pushing his carryon bag under the seat.

Tony had be unsettled all morning. Normally the affable man making a new best friend in his cab driver, he'd barked directions and commands all the way to the airport. Then he'd stormed to their gate like a man on a mission, leaving the family trailing behind him in his wake. Kathleen had come over to send him off this morning and he'd been distracted and totally uninterested in saying goodbye. Well, she hadn't minded that part. In fact, he'd been more attentive to Angela than Kathleen, needing her to calm him down periodically as he whirled off into a tizzy and help talk him through what they were going to say to Samantha when they saw her. She could tell Kathleen had not been entirely keen on Angela's attendance at this intervention, but she also seemed to know it wasn't a good time to protest. Angela conceded that it showed some sage restraint on Kathleen's part.

As the flight attendant began her speech about seatbelts and overhead bins, Tony fidgeted in his seat. Angela gently put her hand on his forearm. "Relax," she said. He exhaled a breath, relaxing a little. "It's going to be okay."

He winced, exhaling again, then said quietly. "She's my little girl, Angela."

"I know she is. And she always will be. But your little girl is growing up. She's always had a good head on her shoulders. Everything is going to be ok," she repeated, squeezing his arm again.

He put her hand on hers. "Thank you for coming with me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I uh, I didn't even think about it at first," Tony said.

"Oh Tony, I'm sorry, I didn't want to impose, I just –"

"No Angela, no. I mean, I didn't think about you not coming. I totally assumed you would come. That was presumptuous of me given well, everything," he fumbled awkwardly, "And I really appreciate you coming anyway."

"Oh Tony, of course. I am really glad you assumed I'd come. I seem to remember you crossing the country with me to fight for Jonathan."

He gave her a half-hearted smile. "Couldn't let him take our little boy."

She looked at him with a grateful, wistful "No you couldn't," she replied.

He slipped his palm into hers and squeezed her hand, finally looking assured and relaxed for the first time today.

"So let's go get our little girl," he said.

Angela pried open one eye as someone brushed by her shoulder in the aisle.

"Oh I'm sorry dear, I was just going to the bathroom."

"Hmm, that's okay Mother." She pulled the blanket higher and settled deeper into Tony's warm shoulder. Tony was in a deep sleep, his head nestled against hers.

Mona stayed in the aisle, looking down at her pointedly.

"What is it Mother?" Angela mumbled, deliberately keeping her eyes closed.

"Oh, nothing. This is just a very sweet, very cozy scene," she said, gesturing to their clasped hands. "If you weren't my own daughter, I would almost think your name was Kathleen."

"Can it, Mother," Angela said, her voice a low growl.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, dear," Mona replied. Angela felt something deep in her heart stir, as it always did when her mother showed a bit of real maternal affection.

"He's been so agitated this morning," was her lame, stage-whispered reply. "He didn't sleep at all last night. I was just trying to help him relax."

"Mmm hmm. I see. Looks like it worked like a charm," Mona said, sauntering up the aisle. "Be careful, Angela," she sang over her shoulder.

Angela rolled her eyes and settled back in, inhaling the comforting, delicious scent of Tony.

As Tony came to, he realized he had been in the middle of a beautiful dream. He and Angela in a boat, under a sunset, with a bald eagle flying overhead, were sailing toward the edge of the ocean. It didn't make sense in his mind, but before he could see what the edge of the ocean held, he realized his cheek was against Angela's soft hair, the distinctive floral, citrusy smell of her shampoo tickling his nose. He pulled away and looked at her, and she stirred, squinting at him.

He unsuccessfully pushed some stray bangs out of her eyes. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," she replied, her voice still groggy. "Do you feel any better after a little sleep?"

He nodded, then looked down at their joined hands. Why did this always feel so right? His fuzzy mind sharpened into a clearer focus. Wait, what was he doing? "You're with Kathleen," a Brooklyn-tinged voice in his head reminded him.

She looked down and gently pulled her hand away first. He returned his to his lap. Though they said nothing about it, their silence conversed for them. This was inappropriate. But I don't regret it. It felt right. It always does. You're my best friend, Angela. I know, Tony. I'm sorry things are so weird between us, I know it's my fault and I'm sorry I hurt you. I know you are.

Even when it was wrong, it felt right. His hand felt naked and alone. He clasped his own hands together in an effort to give it a new occupation, thrumming his fingers and fixing his gaze on the thin clouds and the desert landscape as they descended.

God, he missed her. A few months ago, this wouldn't have been weird. A few months ago, this was how they naturally behaved, in this increasingly intimate, very blurred undefined space, somewhere beyond friendship but not quite anything more. It wasn't even awkward anymore, the way they touched each other, danced with each other, snuggled up with each other. As long as they weren't kissing, all of it had gradually become in-bounds. It was only over the past few months that things were different. How had they gotten here again? "Kathleen, you knucklehead," his brain supplied, but this time the voice sounded eerily like Mona.

He didn't deserve her. Once he had truly fallen for her, this was the thought that tortured him regularly. She was beautiful, powerful, and brilliant. The total package. And he was her housekeeper. What would she want with a fish truck driver from Brooklyn? Even when he knew she was feeling it too, he never felt worthy of her in a true, romantic sense. It would never work between them. Even when all the flirtations, the coziness, the dancing amounted to an easiness in his soul that he'd never felt with anyone, ever. Even Marie. Repress. Repress. Repress.

Kathleen was safe, and fun, and adored him. She was a pretty good time even. Kathleen would do. She wasn't Angela, but hey yo, she was his equal. An older college student like him, looking to raise her station in life. Perfectly nice, and very attractive. She was really pretty great. Really. More to the point, she wasn't his best friend, or his boss, and making love to her didn't come with any baggage or strings. That he knew of, at least. And besides, he'd quite literally made his bed, so he should at least attempt to enjoy lying in it.

But he had to admit that beyond the first time, his guilt had kept him from enjoying the actual lying in it. Even after the sharp pain of hurting Angela had subsided a bit, there was a block he coudln't shake with Kathleen. The ache in his chest was almost suffocating at times as he and Angela slowly returned to some civil normalcy around one another. Nothing like before, but hey, they watched The Philadelphia Story a few nights ago. She had it on when he came home from the library. He made them some tea and warmed up two cookies and joined her.

He missed Angela. And the thought torturing him now wasn't how unworthy he was of her, but how unbelievably heartless he had been to act on his impulse. It was selfish, and cruel. And the worst part was he knew why he'd done it. Mona had counseled him in the kitchen, a few days after he'd confessed to her about his betrayal, and in talking to her he realized he'd done it because of how close they were becoming. He was terrified of going any further and losing her. Because she was his boss, and above him in every sense of the word.

It was too complicated to believe in, as much as he knew in his heart that what he had always felt with Angela was something he knew he'd never feel for Kathleen. So he'd blown it. Completely imploded their relationship, her heart, endangered the very sanctity of their found family of five. He deserved every ounce of the torture of what came next - re-erecting boundaries, her going out with Peter, the very awkward return of the employee/employer formalities, which weren't even this awkward in the very beginning, back when she wasn't even sure she trusted him to live under her roof. He missed her. And now he might never get the chance to show her how much his heart had been hers all along.

Angela's soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. "You're a thousand miles away, Tony," she said. "Are you okay?"

He cleared the frog from his throat. "I was just thinking about how glad I am that you're here with me," he replied. "I really appreciate you coming, Angela. I know things have been a little weird lately. But I don't know how I would do this without you."

She looked emotional for a moment, her lips pursed. "I'll tell you a secret, Tony. If you had decided to hang back and hope for the best, I was planning on flying here myself and talking some sense into her."

He bumped his shoulder into hers. "Ang-e-la. Really?"

She nodded, staring straight ahead. "I'm afraid I'm very attached at this point, Tony."

"Yeah," he agreed softly. "Me too."