The trip back to camp was quick and silent. Maeve could not remember the last time she was this tired. It was like she had just fought a war on her own…and in someways she had. Her companions seemed to avoid her gaze, no doubt still harboring resentment for her part in the plan her and…she paused swallowing hard as the grief rose in her chest once more. His smile. She remembered loving that devilish smile. Her legs shook and were it not for Astarion keeping an arm around her, she would have collapsed.

Astarion. She had shared her bunk with him many nights. In a lot of ways she loved him also, but now…she doubted they would remain together. He helped her peel off her armor, using a screen to separate them from the party. Their room at the Elfsong Tavern had plenty of beds and other places to occupy space; Astarion made sure that the others did just that.

"I'm going to get them to fill the tub-"

"I…I can…" she whispered and with a wave of her hand a jet of clean water raced into the wooden bath before them.

"I'll warm it."

His fingers lit with his fire cantrip and Maeve watched as the water began to steam, his hands then began untying her corset but before he continue, Maeve grabbed his hands.

"Astarion…this…I…"

"I know…it's okay…"

"No…No, I want you to know…that my feelings for you have always been-"

"Maeve…" he said somewhat sternly. "Now is not the time…allow yourself to mourn."

Her chin quivered but she nodded and continued to undress.

"I will be close by if you need me."

She nodded again and sunk into the tub. Closing her eyes she slowly sunk into the water until nothing could touch her under the surface. She held her breath, hoping that maybe she would just drown to stop the ache…but she knew she couldn't. For some reason the world seemed just as important to her as her own need for release. Coming up for air, she blinked for several moments until her vision came back.

"My Lady…"

"Oh…fuck me…" she groaned. "What do you want Sceleritus?"

"You called for me, my dear Lady. Or…your wails did."

"I assure you, I did NOT call you. In fact, LEAVE before I break your neck over the rim of this basin."

The wrinkled butler laughed and instead chose to perch himself right on the vanity beside her.

"You are so generous my lady. I have come as a messenger only…just to give you a little…nudge towards your inheritance."

Maeve sighed and closed her eyes, not wanting to even acknowledge the shriveled up cock that had chose to disturb her.

"Your father has always loved you, master. You are his most treasured child…and to see you so pained by the loss of your old toy-"

Before the butler could continue Maeve's hand reached forward as green wisps of magic spread from her finger tips and began to rip the life force from him.

"Aggghh!"

"Call him that again…" she growled. "And I will empale you on a bed of fucking acid coated spikes."

There was a laugh from her butler and Maeve fought every urge inside of her that screamed RIP, TEAR, TEAR HIM UP FOR ENVER. Her stomach rolled as she swallowed the fury and she waited until Sceleritus recovered slightly before allowing him to continue.

"Very good my Lady…you will need all of that for your battle with that disgusting imposter Orin. But…this gift is something your father thinks will encourage you even more. The return of your dear lost Enver Gortash."

Maeve's blood ran cold and she nearly passed out as the words left Sceleritus' lips. Her father could bring Enver back to life? He would do that for her?

"…and all I have to do is defeat my sister?"

"AND take your rightful place as his Chosen, master."

"…father's gifts RARELY come in the form promised. Enver will be as he was before? Not emaciated, not rotting from decomposition, and not mindless."

"My dear lady," Sceleritus admonished. "You wound both me and your father! He is a God, child…he can handle a simple resurrection. But that will only come AFTER you receive your inheritance. Otherwise the fugue plane is where your lost…ugh… love will remain."

She ignored the clearly forced gag and paused in thought.

"Do I have to give an answer now?"

"Not until you have defeated your sister."

"…I will…decide then. Now get out of my sight before I disintegrate you."

The wicked smile that crossed her butlers face was enough to make her skin crawl. But as always Sceleritus just bowed, told her to remain true to herself, and vanished from existence.

As he did so she gasped as Astarion rushed over with his dagger out.

"Maeve!"

"What?!" She jumped.

"I heard you cast a spell…are you alright? What happened?"

"I…"

She paused and realized that there must have been some magic at play while the butler was with her, that would explain why her friends had not came to her aid right away.

"Nothing…I'm sorry, just…had a moment there."

He watched her, unblinking. She knew enough to know that he didn't believe her, but she wasn't sure she was ready to come clean with what had been put on offer in exchange for Gortash. She also…needed to make sure that her feelings for Astarion were just as strong. She loved him. Was in love with him. Had seen him through so much bullshit and growth…that had left a mark on her as well. He had stayed with her all night when the urge took over, wiping sweat and tears from her face…cleaned vomit from her small clothes when the nausea was too much to bear…and none of those things were trivial or easily forgotten.

"…no…that's…okay, that's a lie," she sighed. "I just…I don't want to talk about it here. It's…not something many would approve of."

"Well, now I'm intrigued. Get dressed and we will go for a walk. It's a fine evening anyway."

Maeve nodded and did as Astarion requested. She normally would wear a lovely royal blue gown to bed, but if they were walking she opted for her usually leather pants and bralette. Her long hair that had been matted with blood was now tied back into two very long braids. She did her best with the makeup, but her bright pink eyes were bloodshot and though she normally had a fair complexion to begin with…even Maeve would admit she looked ashen.

"Are you ready my dear?"

Pulling herself from her reflection, Maeve nodded and followed Astarion from their upstairs room to the bustling streets of Baldur's Gate. They didn't have a destination in mind, and for a good ten minutes Maeve couldn't speak.

"…you know I don't blame you, correct?" Astarion said as they reached the front of Sorcerous Sundries.

"…I don't know how you couldn't."

"You have no memory of the man, Maeve. No memory of your past period. How can I blame you for having one? And I'm certainly not one to talk about loyalty or monogamy. I've bed thousands-

"-this is NOT a great pep talk, Astarion." She sighed.

"It isn't meant to be. It's meant to be a realistic one. Had you known you loved him when you met me…would you have then fallen for me too?"

"That's the problem Astarion. I don't know. I don't know if that would have changed a damn thing because I don't know who I really was. And with Enver gone…perhaps I never will."

She sat down in front of the fountain that occupied the magical square.

"The spell I casted was at my butler. He said father had a potential gift for me." She was being vague with her statements deliberately; not wanting to alert anyone that a Bhalspawn was in their midst.

"And? Is it tadpole removal?"

"…no…though I doubt he would do that anyway. No…he said that he would…bring Enver back."

It didn't take a cleric's perception to realize that Astarion's back stiffened immensely after she said this. He pursed his lips and stared straight ahead.

"And…what did you say?"

"I told him I would decide after Orin was defeated."

"And? Don't play coy, Maeve…what is your decision?"

She blinked harshly at him and looked away. She didn't know what her choice would be. The flashes of Enver were inconsistent, muddy, and unclear of who they were back then. But Astarion's were clear as day and what had kept her pushing forward for so long.

"I don't know. I know that accepting my father's inheritance would doom the world. And….eventually I'd probably just go mad from the bloodlust. But…there is a cord within me that isn't…completely repulsed with the idea."

They sat in silence for the longest time and Maeve went to touch his hand, her eyes darting closed as he pulled it away. She could understand his want for distance at the moment, but Maeve couldn't stand to be away from at least one person that still loved her.

"…what's next then?" He asked. "For us…for you…for everything in between?"

"If I could just restore my memories…I could figure out if it is even worth being Enver back. If I could just talk to Enver…"

"…his body is still in the tower…" Astarion offered. "You can…with magic. Now…it won't be an in-depth conversation, but you can ask him some questions."

She looked back at Astarion and nodded.

"I…I should have thought of that…"

"I didn't expect for you to think of anything after that fight. But you do have dimension door at your disposal…would you mind?"

"Of course not…let's just get to Wyrm's rock."

The duo walked back to the entry way to Baldur's Gate and a bit of stair climbing and spell casting later…they were back in the dark and blood soaked room they had left mere hours before.

The smell of decay didn't both her, but she could see Astarion gag slightly. It would take her ten minutes to ritually cast speak with dead, so she told her comrade he could wait outside if he wished…but Astarion refused and joined her as they returned to the corpse of the slain archduke.

"Cum Mortuus in Lingua Mortua."

The corpse rose several feet and green eyes stared back at her. Her heart ached and she took a steady breath.

"…when did we meet?"

"…3…years…ago…ball for…dignitaries…"

Maeve closed her eyes as flashes of a dagger, blood, and her own evening gown being nearly ripped off of her in her escape…only to be captured by Lord Enver Gortash moments later.

"…how did you treat me while we were…lovers?"

There was a pause and Maeve realized she was holding her breath.

"…my…everything…my only…treasure…worth…fighting…for…."

Her eyes burned and she swallowed the sadness that rose within her once more. She felt like she might throw up if she wasn't careful.

"Why…why did you…die?" She cried.

"…you…couldn't…kill me…new life…old life gone…my….Maeve…gone…"

The spell waned and in an instant Gortash's body was back on the floor where it had been. Blinking harshly Maeve sat down and pressed her back into one of the stone pillars beside her.

"…how…how can 3 years of my life just…just be a bloody black blot?!"

Astarion sat beside her and gently he guided her into his arms, her head rested against his shoulder and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

"…I need my memories back…"

"I know."

"I won't have closure or be able to move forward without them."

"I know…" he whispered. "But you might never get them all back, Maeve."

"…then just…these…I…I need to know I was more than just a blood crazed pervert. I need to know that I had SOME humanity in me."

She was going to pass out. She could feel it yanking at her. The exhaustion, the aches from the fight, and the emotional toll she has faced was too much for her to bear.

"I'm so tired Astarion. So tired."

"I'm here, Maeve. I've got you."

Her hand reached once more for his and this time she was relieved that his fingers interlocked with her own and she was able to slip into the darkness of slumber.

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