Tolkien's Rebel Flag

By Shadowgate

….

Tolkien was now in fourth grade. It had been two years since his family moved into South Park.

He was sitting on his front lawn drinking a cherry vanilla DR. Pepper when Butters pulled up on his bicycle.

Tolkien smiled and told Butters "today is a day that is somewhat special to me."

Butters asked "what's the occasion and why is it only somewhat special?"

Tolkien answered "some might not even consider this special at all but it's the second anniversary for me and my parents moving into South Park."

Butters replied "oh I can see why some would not even consider it special. All the kids ask if shit happens in other towns like here and I ask as well."

Tolkien replied "you would hate any town Professor Chaos."

Butters snapped "silence."

Tolkien asked Butters if he wanted to come inside which Butters responded "I'd love to enter your palace."

Tolkien led Butters up to his room.

Butters whispered "your house is a palace."

Tolkien said "well I'm glad to have you in my palace instead of fat ass Cartman."

Butters smiled and Tolkien went on to say "oh remember when we made that stupid band together with Cartman?"

Butters laughed and said "in the end I flipped him off and farted on him."

Tolkien and Butters laughed.

Tolkien said "well as you're aware we are a fucking Tolkien family. Also I know you're aware that for the most part I consider this town tolerant of black people."

Butters chirped "we are."

Tolkien went on to say "however there are hate groups in every state."

Tolkien opened a dresser drawer and pulled out a Confederate Flag.

Butters yelled "holy shit!"

Tolkien said "last year Christian Identity groups along with the KKK held a rally. I grabbed this as a souvenir."

Tolkien puts on the song Rebel Flag by Insane Clown Posse.

After the two of them dance around to the song Tolkien invites Butters downstairs to his living room for ice cream.

Tolkien's cell phone rings and he says "it's Eric Cartman."

Tolkien answered "what do you want fat lard?"

Cartman answered "since I lost my girlfriend I've been looking at rock bands to help deal with the agony. What did you think of that band Anal Cunt and the song Hootie and the Blowfish I sent you?"

Tolkien gives a mean look and says to Butters "I'll nail this loser."

Tolkien gets back on his cell phone and tells Cartman "oh that song you sent me I'm sure PC Principal will enjoy hearing it as well. I'm also sure that he'll be thrilled to know you sent it to the one black student in South Park."

Cartman screamed and started crying and Tolkien hung up.

Butters laughed and yelled "holy shit you got him good!"

Tolkien replied "now it's time for ice cream."

Tolkien got his ice cream out and Butters helped himself to a scoop of double chocolate chip.

After they finish their ice cream Tolkien and Butters step out and look upon the town.

"I'll race you to the top of the hills" Tolkien said and they both took off. Butters lost by just one foot behind.

When they got up to the hills they met up with Craig and Tweek.

Craig had his arm around Tweek.

Butters said "well fancy meeting you two up here."

Craig said "it's relaxing up here so that's why I bring Tweek up here."

Tolkien said "that's awesome and you guys won't believe what I did to Cartman."

The four boys settle down on the hills and have great laughs.

The End