Chapter 1 - Jay: Life is fluid

"You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end."

- Grey's Anatomy

Working for Intelligence has always been one of his biggest dreams to become true. His childhood wasn't all bad, but things could've been in his teens. He was a normal teenager, he had a girlfriend, a brother, a father and a mother. Arguments were normal, something that all families and all relationships have. After all, who doesn't fight? It all started going wrong by the end of high school; his 8-year-old brother-in-law got raped and murdered, and his father did not accept his decision to become a soldier and go to war.

Somehow, the whole thing only got worse when he got back from his first tour. He has to admit that being there wasn't as horrible as he thought it would be. Sure, he killed people, became a sniper, later on a ranger and would no doubt have nightmares about everything he witnessed there, including the loss of some soldiers who would not return home to their families. Yet, none of that was as bad as being back home.

He was looking forward to getting back to his family, he hoped that everything would have gotten a little better since he left, but in a year a lot had changed and, unfortunately for his family, it was for the worse. Will was not in the United States. His mother informed him that he was in Africa working as a doctor, which was the only good news before everything went to hell. After that, his mom had to tell him about the cancer, tell him that his dad wasn't coping well with it at all so he had started drinking a lot and coming home late.

Coming back from the first tour was supposed to be for the better, not for the worse. He didn't expect to find his father drunk, his mother dying of cancer or, to make matters worse, find out that Will wouldn't come home as he couldn't deal with his mother's illness. He was supposed to be a doctor, God damn it! According to William, though, he was already struggling while dealing with his girlfriend's breakup during his time volunteering abroad. This caused Jay to harbor a lot of anger towards his older brother.

All Charlotte Lynn Halstead wanted was her family to be together, but her last wish was not granted. She died in the arms of her youngest son feeling abandoned by two of the most important people in her life and, after that, Jay Halstead's life was never the same.

Trying to escape it all and figuring that he had nothing to lose now, he decided to enroll for a second tour, where things somehow were even worse than what he would have imagined possible; much more deaths, especially from his soldier friends. He killed children and it didn't matter if it was unintentionally or if they were casualties, if his team was being threatened and if those children were being used as shields by the terrorists, or if 13 and 14 year olds were hiding bombs on their own bodies to attack the American troops or shooting at their base. He knew he would be tormented and consumed by guilt forever. He didn't deserve to go back home, he didn't deserve to live. After being surrounded by those bodies that had been torn apart, blown up, eaten by animals and all the thousand horrible things he'd been forced to witness during his young life, he didn't feel like he could simply go back. He had no family, at least not a close one, Will hadn't even come back to be there for his sick mother, let alone for him and his father. If one could even call Patrick Halstead that.

When Patrick was most needed, the man became an alcoholic. Jay had no one waiting for him. He knew that he should have been among the killed, not the soldiers with families, not innocent children. He was born into a Catholic community, but with his going to war, with everything he saw, he couldn't help but ask himself of there was even a God,

Going back that second time wasn't difficult, it was torturous. Getting on a plane just as much, so much so that he didn't remember how he arrived in the United States until Mouse told him that some soldiers had to be doped since lots of them were in shock while others injured terribly. Jay was one of the former.

Back in American lands, he couldn't make it back to Chicago. Bodies or no bodies recovered, he still went to the funerals of soldiers who died for his country, many more than those on his last tour. He found that his nightmares got worse too. Every single night he would toss about in bed, he sweated and screamed every time he fell asleep. After each funeral, he added another family, another fallen fellow soldier, another person to his ever-growing list of grieving people. Pregnant wives, broken husbands, children who would never meet or see their parents. And he who had no one.

His and a few friends' was to keep going and burning everything was to use alcohol, lots of alcohol, and sex, lots of sex. With lots of unknown women to numb all his problems. Mouse would help him get back to the house every night and make sure he wouldn't fall into any alleys out there. Will heard about the problems, Mouse got in touch with him, but his brother still didn't make any effort to go back. He knew it was bad for his little brother but he considered that showing up would be much worse.

After a while he realized with Mouse's help that they shouldn't have this life. They actually did deserve better. They stopped going out to get drunk until they couldn't remember anything anymore. The nightmares still happened, but little by little they started being less frequent and not as realistic as before. And whenever they would still come and he couldn't go back to sleep, he would watch documentaries.

He and Mouse stopped being around each other for a while. Mouse traveled to Florida where his family lived and Jay entered the police academy. And the first change he got, he took the test to become a detective. While in the force, he started working for Narcotics, but yearned to become a member of the Intelligence Unit. That was his plan, to help his country, his city now, without all that came from being in the war. He still didn't see himself as worthy of a family and he didn't even think he would be good for his possible kids or wife, so he figured it was probably better to simply focus on what he could do to help his country and survive. At least until he got old and retired to his grandfather's cabin.

He eventually got into the Intelligence Unit, but he never thought that it would be the start of his life, that it would be difficult personally and professionally while being one of the best things for him. He didn't think it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly, to want to protect that person so much, nor that after spending nearly 24 hours working with his partner he would want to spend his free time with her as well.

He met a beautiful, sexy, funny woman who had had a bad life, possible more than his, and yet she was the most empathetic person he had ever met. She was captivating even after everything that loge had thrown at her, she was still someone who wanted to help people.

Jay never thought that after everything he had been through he would trust someone like he trusted Erin Lindsay. He was crazy about her, in fact, he was in love, even before the day she had knocked on his door and they had finally connected physically, when he finally had tasted her lips and had made her moan his name countless times. That was he really knew that was the best sound he had ever heard in his entire life and that he'd try everything to have that as long as he'd live. Nothing compared to what he had felt before that. Everything was new, better and elevated to a level he couldn't explain. He didn't think he could fall in love anymore, but he was wrong. When they started dating in secret he was already considering that that cabin was ideal for him to retire with her. She was the person he wanted in his arms until his dying breath and it was with her that he discovered how lucky he was, because whether or not he believed in true love, he should have known that she would be that love. He could swear he had never loved anyone the way he loved her. He loved her in every possible way no matter what.

Life is unfortunately not so easy. They had ups and downs, but none of that made him lose his love for her. On the contrary, each time it grew even more, if possible. He knew exactly what he wanted, and it was all with her by his side. At first he had been afraid to ask her to move in together, he had wrapped them both up keeping the desire in their hearts while they vetted every apartment he looked to move into. But neither asked the question. However, watching her lose her brother was the breaking point, he wanted her to know he would always be there for her and he wanted her to know how serious he was about them so he finally asked and she accepted. It wasn't easy, he feared rejection, but was it just because she wanted them to move in together in her apartment, or because of the way he perceived himself? No matter where he went, he just wanted her, like he had said once, I don't want you to come and go, and so they moved in together in her apartment.

He was so happy there next to Erin. He felt very lucky to have survived, to have met her. She was the most important person in his life. Having Erin as his girlfriend, his relationship with Will being better than ever, plus getting to actually have a good life in Chicago and Mouse not only having come back into it but also working with him in Intelligence, it all made him he saw consistency. He understood that it was okay to go on living. Go ahead and have a good life surrounded by people who cared.

Yet again, his happiness didn't last long enough. Mouse left for Afghanistan again. Jay didn't want that, he was in fact completely against the idea, but he didn't have much of choice, Erin made sure to make him see that. Abby, one of the girls from his time in the army, came back and he messed it up with Erin. He lied to her, he ended up leaving their house, believing it was the best thing for them and as if that wasn't enough, she left for good without even saying goodbye. She had left and when he realized it, it was too late. He couldn't tell her that he wanted to marry her, that he wanted children with her, that he daydreamed with the idea of beautiful babies with her dimples, with her hair and that he didn't care what eye color his children would have for he was certain they would be bright and striking like their mother's. He never got the chance because his past came back to haunt him.

Erin knew about the nightmares, about the tour, but she didn't know everything. He trusted her, but he never wanted her to carry his deepest baggage. He never wanted to be the reason for her sadness, as if her problems weren't enough. Promising himself not to be Bunny, Voight or anyone who expected her to do something or him. Or even worse, to feel like she always had to hold the line for everyone. He could never do that to her. So, he left. Not to hurt her, never to hurt her. But to protect her from himself. He wanted to get better, he wanted to be 100% there for her, he wanted to be the man she deserved, not someone who made her feel more overwhelmed. But she didn't understand that and walked away without any goodbyes.

It made him angry, really angry at her, for the least he deserved was a goodbye, a chance to fix everything, to try to help. He felt angry at himself since he hadn't had the time he was looking forward to with her, hadn't had a chance to explain things, to say everything he felt for her while he was on his knees asking her to marry him. He felt angry because he could never show her all the love he felt while they made love after she had said yes, said it was what she wanted most in the world through her tears and then he would have promised to spend every day of his life showing his love for her. It made him angry with himself for not having been quick enough, for not telling her everything sooner, for abandoning her when she needed his support the most. She trusted him, gave herself to him, opened up and in the end he left her just like everyone else once did. He had promised he would never do that yet he failed her. And when he felt good enough to come home, the place where he had eaten pizza and flirted with her thousands of times before they were even together, the house where she slept on the couch in his arms and where he never wanted her to leave, the house where they made love to countless times and where he first told her he loved her after she bravely told him she loved him during that car ride; he was heartbroken to see that she was gone. Now he was left with nothing but a few pictures and memories.

When Jay walked into the bullpen that next morning, his heart broke even more when he noticed that her desk was empty. The same desk he always looked at and where found those hazel greens flirting or mocking him for not being able to take his eyes off her. The desk he sat at as an excuse to get closer to the board when in reality it was to be closer to her. Now that piece of furniture also had only memories. And when he asked Voight, his boss confirmed his suspicions, she wouldn't be coming back. He didn't know why and he blamed himself.

Then he walked into the break room and more memories filled him. Every time they'd flirted, when she'd told him, when they'd sneaked out of Voight's watchful gaze, when he'd made her promise that she would never go out without backup. Of course she did it anyway, because after all she was Erin Lindsay. He still picture when he had explained that he wanted to travel to Wisconsin with her, when he had said 'come live with me, jobs come and go, bosses come and go, I don't want you to come and go'. But even after all that, she was still gone and gone with that he realized that he never really cared about any of that, the job, the service, none of that matter without her. He needed her, he needed to find her, go to NY and say that if she accepted him, nothing else matters, he would move to NY with her.

It wasn't really that quickly that everything calmed, that his decision not to go after her suddenly went away. It was need for Voight to intervene and tell him to let her go, that she had to move away for her own personal reasons. That made him think that maybe his boss knew something he didn't, that she told Voight something, which made him want to go after her even more. But a case was picked up by the team and he had to come with terms that he had to be on the streets with whatever partner Voight assigned, that as much as he wanted it to, that partner wasn't Erin. He had to sit there staring at her empty desk. Erin had answered a few messages but it hadn't been enough, it would never be enough. He needed her, he wanted her, but she was gone and it was his fault for leaving. That didn't make him any less angry though. He had believed himself as someone important in her life, someone who deserved an explanation of why she suddenly had packed everything she owned and left. She should have told him she was moving somewhere. He deserved a little more consideration and it made him think that maybe she never really cared about him, that she never loved him at all. It was irrational and hard to imagine it, but the more time passed, the more his mind played tricks on him.

After being convinced not to fly to NYC - she can turn you down, she doesn't want you anymore, she doesn't deserve you, it's not worth giving up everything for someone who didn't even bother to say goodbye, let her live her life, she needs and deserves to start over, we need to start over, etc., he found himself in a spiral, pretty much exactly like the one she had gone down after Nadia's death. He blamed himself but he also blamed her. He had left because he knew the nightmares would come back and, sure enough, they did. He didn't want to risk hurting her. But after she left they got somehow worse, even if he never imagined that to be possible. Everything got worse.

His nightmares got more intense. He had flashbacks while working, he ended up killing a little girl and then he was suddenly brought back to Afghanistan. Everywhere he went he couldn't get read of the memories. But now he didn't have Erin to calm him down and bring him back to reality. She used to sooth him when he had nightmares; she used to whisper that he was home and that she was there with him. Her hands had been able to calm him and whenever he had come back to reality he would be laying in her arms. But he didn't have her anymore, so it got worse. Everything got worse. He joined the support group for her and left because of her, too. It wasn't worth improving if he wouldn't have her after all. He slept with the woman he met when he was undercover, he wasn't a good partner for Hailey and he didn't deserve her. Erin hadn't deserved to take his shit and neither did Hailey. Also, she wasn't Erin so it was easier to fight than to actually be partners.

Then, as if his life wasn't bad enough, he lost his father. Even if his relationship with Patrick was less than a cordial one, Jay still found himself not being able to cope with everything happening around him. All he wanted was for Erin to be there. She would have known what to say, she would have known what to do. He desperately wanted to call her but it wasn't fair to her after the disaster he'd become after the last time she actually texted him back. Even after everything he blamed her for putting him through, Jay still felt like it was his duty to protect her. And then they also lost Olinsky. That was when he would have bet he'd see her again. But she never did show up. He now knew the truth, because before Olinsky died they had still been talking. He knew there was no way she could've come back because she had been involved in how all of The situation went down. Putting all of his anger and frustration aside, and for the first time ever, he thanked her for leaving. He didn't know what he would have done if it had been her in Olinsky's place, if she had been in a hurry and died to save Voight. That was something that had always made him mad; she had always been under the impression that she had to pay him for saving her life when she was a teenager. But he didn't think it was fair for her to risk that much for her father figure. He finally found himself being happy that she was out, away from Bunny, away from Voight and away from him. He hoped she was okay at least. That she had a good job. Someone who loved her like she deserved and who did all the things he hadn't been able to do.

His life was spiraling so much out of control that Voight had to intervene to put him in line, to show him that was it or he would lose his job, which would cause him to fall into a deeper pit than he had before his second tour. He didn't want a family anymore, he had given up that idea after he realized she had left. He had wanted it growing up, yet the army made him lose that desire. Surprisingly, he started wishing for it again. Erin made him want to have someone next to him forever. There was nothing that we desired more than having a child with Erin's genes. He wanted her to be the mother of his children, to wake up in the morning with her in his arms but not have time for morning sex as they would be interrupted by their mini Lindsays and mini Halsteads babies jumping on the bed and asking to snuggle with them. And even as much as he wanted to do what made them have babies in their bed with his wife to begin with, that would be his favorite way to wake up. So no, he didn't want a family anymore, but he still wanted the job, or else he'd have no reason to live. Maybe he'd even become a sergeant, Voight trusted him and it wouldn't be too bad to be in charge of the unit someday. His life after Erin left just revolved around his job, so he really did think about becoming a sergeant in the future.

His relationship with Hailey Upton was gradually improving. He wasn't sure how she put up with him and didn't ask to change partners. She helped him and he would always be grateful for that. She wasn't Erin, so they didn't have the driving fights that he and Erin used to have and nor would she know that he only managed to take the wheel when the GMC became their car, but he made up for Erin pretty well that night. He'd give up driving if it meant having her back, but it wasn't that simple. He then drove most of the time and it wasn't a big deal when Hailey was behind the wheel. They didn't have moments were no one could stop the flirting, smirks, or inside jokes, but he got to know her better and let her get to know him, too. That was good, because in addition to being his partner, Hailey became his friend. He trusted her to have his back and hoped she did as well. He still got kidnapped, shot and among other problems after Lindsay's departure, which only confirmed that she'd always been great at having his back during their nearly 5 years working together. He regularly found himseld praying she hadn't gotten a bad partner (not that Hailey was one). In fact, he hoped she hadn't been shot or kidnapped, God, he could't even think about it.

He started to trust Hailey, she was his friend, she was a good listener and she was there for his. He ended up wanted to protect her as well. He hadn't expected to ever date her at first, but when she had said that the FBI wanted her, that the only thing holding her back in Chicago was him, that she was in love with him, he saw her in a different light. He wasn't in love, but he liked her, and she liked it a lot. He had been selfish, he had kissed her, because he hadn't wanted her to leave, he hadn't wanted to lose her, too. So they started dating, she stayed for him. He hadn't had a girlfriend since Camilla. He had felt guilty saying I love you to her. He had known it wasn't true. He knew what it was like to love someone and that hadn't been it. He had felt like a traitor. But Hailey was different, he didn't feel guilty and he I knew it was time to move on.

Chicago, IL - February 2021

- What is on your mind? - Hailey made Jay come back to the present.

- Good morning! - Jay said when he noticed her awake. She smiled leaning towards him and answering with a kiss.

- Good morning! - She said as she walked away. - So... - She didn't give up on her first question.

- It was nothing important. Just wondering if I'm going to accept an offer of a friend of mine to move to another apartment. - He shared his thoughts. He had received an offer a few days ago and his friend texted him this morning asking if he was interested. This had been on his mind ever since.

- Well, where is this one? If it's closer to here, I'm super on board. - She smiled mischievously.

- It's in Hyde Park. It's a new building. He owes me a favor and he offered me this new apartment for almost half the price and it's on the top floor. It looks amazing and is much bigger that where I am now. - He told her.

- Well, Hyde Park is a good neighborhood and, not that I don't like your apartment, but we spend a lot more time in mine. Maybe with a bigger one we can spend more time there. - She joked.

- I'll think about it. Maybe I'll check it out after the shift is over. - He smiled at her playfulness and they kissed for a little longer before they got dressed and left for work.

Jay and Hailey had been in a relationship for less than two months. Nobody in the district knew about it. It wasn't like they were trying to hide it, they just didn't talk about it. Jay was very closed off about his private life and it wasn't like Hailey was going to go out and tell everyone. She was not that close with Kim and she sure as hell wouldn't tell Kevin or Adam about her sex life with Jay. Much less Voight. It wasn't like he and Hailey weren't making out all the time. Or like they can't keep their hands off each other. They were professionals at work, casual friends at Molly's, and when they spent the night together, they just did. It was practically personal within four walls.

They knew they'd only been together for a short time, but they'd been through a lot. That was good and scared the shit out of Jay. He never fathomed they would get in so much trouble in such a short time.

Hailey thought she screwed him up, but he was there for her. That was Jay Halstead, an excellent man. He supported her and gave her a piece of his mind, but that only reinforced the love she already felt for him. She was having a shitty day, she talked to Voight and got into a fight with everyone including Jay, but when she came home later that night there he was, standing at her door waiting for her.

- Hey! - He turned to face her and she responded by walking as fast as she could towards him and kissing him.

- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude to you these past few days, I'm so...

- Hailey, it's okay. I am here. I'm not going anywhere. OK? I understand, no need to apologize for that. - He cut whatever she was about to say and reassured her. And that was when she felt ready to admit to him what she'd already admitted to herself and Vanessa.

- I love you - She said looking into his eyes and instead of an answer, Jay kissed her.

She knew what he was doing. Accepting the love she just declared and saying that he liked her a lot they made their way to her bedroom. She hoped that when they broke apart the kiss he would say those words, but he didn't. He still won't say. She thought she would be more upset or disappointed, but she wasn't. She wanted him to say it, but she would wait until he was ready. Then she opened the door so they could finish what they started in bed.

Hailey had said she loved Jay the night before. He was alone in his apartment now and mulling it over. They hadn't been together for two months. And he'd only said that word to three women in his life.

Allie, his high school crush, his first girlfriend. He loved her to this day, but his feelings were purely friendship now. Allie and her parents were part of his family, his second or third family so to speak.

Camilla, a woman whom he had said that for all the wrong reasons. He never loved her, never felt anything for her, but he felt bad for being that kind of man to her. He had been trying to forget someone with her, which of course hadn't worked.

And then Erin. She was the only woman whom he truly meant those three words to. They had never needed to say those words as much since they showed it to each other every day they were together. He couldn't put into words the happiness he felt when he had heard Erin say 'Jay I'm completely in love with you'. A few minutes before he had been scared of her not wanting to move in with him or worse, break up due to all the bad things that had been going on. But then she had said she wanted him to move in with her, that 5 years from then they could pay off the apartment. That meant she could see a future with him. Him! He thought he was happy that she had asked him to move in with her, that she said he was the only person she trusted, but hearing her confess she loved him after everything they'd been through had made his heart swell in an inexplicable way. He could say that was one of the best days of his life.

Now Hailey, he loved her, that much he knew himself, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't intense. His love was that more as a friend and partner than relationship. His feelings had grown for her since the first time they had been together, but he didn't want to rush things. He would take it slow this time. He sure as hell wouldn't wait 4 years to say it, though, he just didn't feel ready yet and whenever those words were said he wanted to be sincere, not forced.

Two months had gone by with Hailey. Everything was going well in their relationship. His job was still the same. His life was finally peaceful. He was lining up with things again, but nothing like the last few years where life hadn't seemed to give him a break. He was going to therapy once a week. After Voight made a point to show him what would happen if he didn't, he had no choice but to see a doctor. He went to veterans' meetings whenever he could, as well. His nightmares and flashbacks had stopped considerably, maybe every once in a while the occasional nightmare would make an appearance, but never anything as real as they used to be. He was finally getting better and that was one of the reasons he tried with Hailey. He was no threat to her. He was sure he wasn't going to wake up and put her life on the line.

- I'm glad you said yes to this apartment. It's amazing and has a beautiful view.

- I think so, too. - Jay agreee with Hailey. - I still need to move everything in this weekend. - He added while approaching her.

- I think we have a team that would love to help with pizzas and beer as a reward. - She joked. He nodded and smiled.

- I can fix that. - He looked at his new apartment view one more time before they left.

A few weeks later...

- Halstead, my office! - Voight called the detective. He stood up without giving much thought to the looks he was getting from his peers.

- Sergeant. - Halstead said as he entered and closed the door. He wasn't worried, Voight was aware of his relationship with Hailey now. His boss just nodded for him to sit down, not really looking at him. Nothing new about this. When he sat down, he finally started.

- Remember the child hunter case?

- Hmm... the children murdered? - Halstead asked after a brief trip down memory lane. - Yeah, what happened? I remember Ivory Tower took the case out of our hands. - He commented.

- SVU picked up a similar case. - Voight counted. - The captain, Olivia Benson, called me to see if we had a similar case...

- Was the child abused, assaulted and found naked? - He questioned with his heart in his hand.

- Yes... - Voight sighed. He may have just completed 40 years in the police force, but he would never understand and get over these cases. It's heartbreaking. - I know these cases affect you, but Benson wants a...

- I'll... - He interrupted. He knew what Voight meant, but nothing would bring him more peace than catching these motherfuckers.

- I wouldn't send you, but you are my best detective and are more familiar with the case.

- It's all right. - Jay interrupted him again. He was surprised Voight hadn't sent him to hell yet - When do I have to go? - He asked, wanting more information and less whining and that was what sergeant liked.

- First thing in the morning, but I'd really prefer you to be willing to start working as early as possible, so if you're up for it, after your shift today. I'll let Platt know and you'll stop by when you're done.

After Voight and Halstead went through the details of the case, Jay went back to work. Hailey was staring at him waiting for an answer, but he just said he'll explain later. When his shift was over he said he'd meet Hailey at her apartment and went to Trudy.

- I think someone up there heard my prayers, I'll finally have a break from you. - Platt said when he saw him approaching the reception desk.

He grinned and when he got closer he put his arm on the big counter. - I know you already miss me. - He teased.

- I actually asked Benson to get you a job there. Even taking the dogs for a walk if she has one. -She said so serious that it didn't even look like she was joking.

-I'll sure miss you, sergeant. - He teased. Without saying anything, she just handed over the envelope containing everything needed for his stay in Manhattan.

- Two days is so little. - She huffed after he thanked and left.

- Why didn't he ask me to go too? I'm your partner. - Halstead had stopped by the apartment, packed his bags and then went to Hailey's.

- It's only two days, they want help and information for the case and I've already worked with the team. There's no need to have more than one of us go. Besides, I need my time alone in NYC. - He joked.

- You are not funny. -She shoved him on the shoulder.- Why have I never met this team? - She wondered.

- We haven't had common cases since you joined us. We've worked on some cases in the past, though. - He explained and she nodded.

- I will miss you. - She hugged him.

- I know you will. - He laughed when she pushed him this time. - Me too. - He answered seriously and gave her a peck on the lips. - I have to go or I'll miss my flight. - He said.

- It's all right. - She said hesitantly and walked towards the door. He kissed her cheek goodbye after picking up his coat and suitcase and left.

- I love you. - She said, but he had already turned the corner and probably didn't hear.

Manhattan, NY - March 2021

Jay arrived in Manhattan at 1am and went straight to the hotel to sleep. The following morning he met with Captain Olivia Benson and her team. They worked all day on the case named the Child Hunter. The Intelligence detective informed them about the case from Chicago, which helped them realize that it was indeed the same MO (modus operandi) and it was a serial killer.

The first day was tense and they didn't get much, no names, no suspects and any few witnesses they did have didn't help much. But it was one of the few leads they got, other than families telling what had happened the day their children were taken. They noticed a pattern, though. They were able to make a timeline and map the locations of the abductions.

On the second day, even if they continued their search, they didn't make much progress. To make matters worse, in the early hours of the morning they had received news that a new body had been found. The FBI was called in. SVU explained that with the amount of kidnappings they were dealing with, federal forces were needed. And so they decided the FBI had to get involved. Apparently they wanted SVU's help and Halstead thought he would be going back to Chicago. But it turned out that the FBI asked him to stay and help with the case. Baring that piece of news, Voight decided to fly to New York City, too. He wanted to catch up on the case and help catch the bastard involved. He took Upton as a backup in case they needed another hand.

It was the morning of Jay's third day in New York state, he started his day by going to FBI Headquarters. Nothing was out of the ordinary but he had a weird feeling. Suddenly, his heart stopped when he thought he saw a familiar face but then he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. It couldn't really have been her. He just shrugged off the feeling and refocused on what his boss and partner were discussing.

After a while, he felt Hailey nervousness from his spot. She was next to a desk of one of the FBI agents, but when Halstead approached she walked away and took him along with her. He thought it was something about the kids, but his heart skipped a beat when he heard something. Earlier, he had done his best to believe it was his imagination. The person had been far away, he had been on the side and she had arrived just as the elevator door had closed. It was less than 5 seconds. But now it was real. He would never forget her voice, that husky voice that chilled his spine, that stirred him. It could be a thousand years, it could be a thousand people talking. He would still recognize it anywhere, even with his back to where the voice was coming from. He froze, he couldn't think of anything. But if he had had any doubts, the reaction and expression of his girlfriend and his boss were proof that he wasn't crazy or hallucinating.

Hailey strangely didn't look surprised, maybe nervous, and he was surprised at her reaction. Voight, on the other hand, looked like he couldn't believe who was in front of him. He hadn't expected that. But still Jay saw the look, the look that was directed at very few people. After observing the two people in front of him, he decided to turn around and when he did he saw her for the first time after 3 years and 10 months. Erin Lindsay.

"The expected is what keeps us going. It's the unexpected that changes our lives forever."

- Grey's Anatomy