Jeha's perspective

It had been ages since Jeha had felt truly good about something she had done. Since being taken by the mind flayers her life had come down to survival, and that survival instinct had caused Jeha to do things she would never imagine herself doing. Her master had taught her there was a stark difference between fighting because of self-defense and mental and physical stimulation, versus violence for the sake of violence. Lately it had been the latter; her hands had been stained with so much blood she felt her psyche would never fully recover to its original state.

The goblins were a threat to the tiefling refugees, and any unfortunate soul that happened to meet them on the roads, but the druids were a different story. They were not a threat until Jeha and other tiefling arrived at the grove, then their leader's true colors were exposed.

Enemies seemed to emerge from the woodwork since the tadpole had been forced into her head, people she never would have quarrels with insisted on fights to the death.

But tonight wasn't a time to dwell on the events that had transpired the past few weeks, tonight was about celebrating something positive: the goblins were defeated and the refugees were saved. Festivities ensued, voices of conversations, songs, and laughter filled the crisp air; the smell of alcohol was abundant amongst the crowd of bodies that gathered in their camp. People were dancing like no one was watching, flailing about to the music.

Arabella and Zaki had convinced Wyll to join them in dance, dragging him toward the center of the camp. The tiefling children broke into fits of laughter as Wyll did his best to entertain them. Jeha couldn't help but smile, taking another swig of the bottle of wine she had secured for herself. Her senses felt dulled, her strained and overworked muscles loosened, her body was warm and buzzed with a blurred sense of delight. She wasn't one to usually drink or get drunk, but she made an exception for the celebrations tonight. It felt good to let her guard down and feel normal and free, even if it was for one night.

Jeha wore her locs down instead of pulled back, they cascaded down her back loosely and around her horns; her armor was off and replaced with loose fitted lounge clothing. Her entire body felt light, except for the pit of her stomach where the alcohol seemed to collect like a weight.

She mingled around, thrilled to finally speak to other tiefling one on one without being dismissed this time around. Rolan still seemed stern and indifferent toward her, but his siblings Cal and Lia were kind enough. Alfira and Lakrissa she had become fast friends with, the three of them remaining together most of the night until Alfira was asked to perform another song by Volo. She obliged, singing a song she had written herself, her voice rising above the noise, high and angelic. Lakrissa remained at her side, swaying side to side and losing herself to the music.

Jeha eventually broke away from them, wanting to seek out her companions to ensure they were having just as much fun as she was. Shadowheart was her usual cold self but didn't let her iciness dampen Jeha's own elation; she seemed more preoccupied in glaring over at the githyanki companion they had reunited with. Lae'zel did the same, the two of them meeting eyes to glower in each other's direction.

Gale was eager to speak with her, favoring a bottle of ale he had shared with Wyll earlier. He rambled on about Tara, a Tressym from Gale's past as Jeha did her best to keep her attention on him; with all the activity that swirled around her it was easy for her eyes to wander around. Not that she didn't enjoy Gale's company, there were just too many distractions that were begging to grip her attention. He stumbled upon his words, accidentally implying that Jeha didn't smell "fresh" and hadn't bathed properly in a while. It took Gale a moment to realize what he had said, the implications of smell being a sensitive topic for tieflings. Jeha stilled, his words forcing her mind to recall a particularly unpleasant memory from her childhood involving a human boy telling her that she smelled strange. The sentence came out more bluntly than he intended, but Jeha's feelings had already been stung. She dismissed herself, clinging her bottle of wine to her chest as she slinked away before he could add anything else.

As if the night couldn't get any more awkward, she had unintentionally led Halsin on into thinking she wanted to 'do something else' with him besides drink and celebrate at the party. He had seemed intrigued by her accidental offer but told her to instead enjoy herself amongst the others. She hid her face with her free hand, breaking eye contact nervously as he said in passing that it would be 'pleasant to keep her all to himself.' Something about his attentiveness to her and how he looked down on her smaller frame made her insides twist. She wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground and fall into the Hells. Once again she was grateful that blush didn't visibly show on her deep red skin tone, because she would be completely scarlet.

Jeha scurried away, debating now whether she should just sit by the lake next to Withers after her blunder. Although he spoke in slow riddles, there would be no confusing or twisting words or intentions with him. As she passed, she noticed Astarion drinking by himself, scowling at the unorthodox dancing that was happening beside his tent.

Astarion had gotten flirtty these past few weeks. He had started to call her 'friend' and 'darling,' the pet names making her stomach flutter much to her surprise. He took delight in asking her to describe how he looked since he hadn't been able to see his reflection in centuries, entertianed in watching her praise him bashfully. She didn't understand why but she was drawn to him; he had opened up to her about his past as a vampire spawn, seeing the glint of pain blink away from his eyes as he spoke pulled on her heartstrings.

Little did Astarion know how often he consumed Jeha's thoughts. When she laid her head down to sleep their conversations would repeat in her mind; she often replayed the moment in her head when he had climbed on top of her to bite her that one night. It had been uncomfortable and a bit scary, but how hungrily he peered down upon her, how gently he had caressed her neck as he moved her hair – just thinking about it now made her heart skip a beat. It was foolish to focus on such things while their lives were on the line. Despite everything, she decided to go speak to him, not wanting him to be completely alone at the party.

As she approached, giving him a lopsided smile, he regarded her by nodding and toasting his bottle in her direction.

"You know, I never pictured myself as a hero." He started, "never thought I would be the one they'd toast for saving so many lives. And now that I'm here…" he paused, taking a deep swig from his bottle. As he removed his lips from the brim he grimaced deeply, looking disgusted. "I hate it. This is awful."

Jeha gave him a wry smile. "Really? Saving lives is awful?"

"We killed some goblins to save some tieflings. The tally of lives didn't change much. But what do I get for all my hard work?" Astarion gestured around him to prove his point. "A pat on the head and vinegar for wine."

Jeha took a sip of his wine. It was heavier than her red wine, dry and sharp. Definitely stronger than hers, but he was unfazed and from what she could tell, mostly sober. Vampires tended to get drunk on blood instead of alcohol, she had learned that from when he hunted a bear last week.

"See what I mean? Awful." He added. "All I want is a little fun, is that too much to ask?" His grimace fell with his last sentence, a small, cunning smile touching the corners of his lips as he looked at her.

Perhaps her semi-drunken state didn't leave her as sharp as she'd usually be when it came to these hints. Halsin had been direct enough for her to understand, but she didn't know what Astarion meant. She cocked her head to the side, asking him exactly that.

He sighed sharply, amused by her naivete. "By the hells," he drawled, "sex, my dear. A night of passion." He leaned in, laying his charm on thick.

"Oh!" Jeha clapped her hand over her mouth, fidgeting nervously and cursing herself for being so dim.

Astarion didn't break eye contact with her, watching her squirm under his sultry gaze. As nervous as the offer on the table made her, deep down she wanted to. He closed the space between them, lowering his voice as he spoke to her.

"Let's wait until things quieten down. Once the others are asleep, we'll find each other." He whispered.

"I…" She stammered, her body buzzing from the alcohol and excitement. She tried to steady herself, seeking courage from her inebriated state to find the words. "I-I think I would like that…" she finally managed to say.

Astarion took a step back. "Indeed you will, my love. Indeed you will."

As the two departed from each other, Jeha couldn't focus on anything else for the rest of the party. Comments were made by tiefling friends and companions alike about seeing her and Astarion speaking together. She hadn't realized it had been that obvious, but then again, she wasn't sure from a different perspective how she was conducting herself under the influence.

People started to file out, retreating to their bunks or leaving to camp somewhere else, a hush came upon the camp. Jeha had stopped drinking wine after she had spoken to Astarion, wanting to keep her senses as sharp as her current state would allow her to be. Before she went off to find him in the forest, she went to a secluded part of the lake, carefully navigating her way around a rock, hoping it was large enough to obscure her body. She removed her clothes, dunking herself into the cold waters as she quickly scrubbed herself down with some rags in a hurried attempt at cleaning herself. She had been self-conscious since Gale's comment, her mind unwillingly flashing back to what that human boy had said to her back during teenagerhood.

I can't do this anymore, Jeha, you just smell too strange.

Years later into adulthood and the words still hurt. She didn't want to take too long, not wanting him to think she flaked out on him. She dried herself the best she could, pulling a new pair of fresh clothes back on her. The shirt was a bit large, falling around her shoulders and under her collarbone, and the pants were baggy, but they had to do for now.

Jeha snuck into the forest, glancing around for any sign of movement. The forest was still, the only sound she could hear was her own heart pounding in her ears. Astarion appeared from behind the trunk of a large tree. His shirt was off, exposing his slender yet muscular frame as he approached her. She halted before him, smiling as she twisted a strand of one of her locs between her fingers.

"There you are, I've been waiting. Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting to have you." He purred.

Jeha timidly broke eye contact, practically wringing the strands of her hair in her hands now. She couldn't help but smile, a nervous giggle threatening to escape her throat. She took a deep breath, finally willing herself to look him in the eye. His eyes roamed her body, snagging on her exposed neck and the beginning swell of her breasts. Her breath hitched for a moment at her own vulnerability, but the way he was looking at her made her feel good. It made her feel desired, something she hadn't felt in a long time.

Words failed her, she wanted to counter him and try to be assertive, but she had crumbled underneath his sensual gaze. He took another step forward, grazing one of her exposed shoulders with the back of his hand. Her body stilled, holding her breath as she waited for his next move.

"You're looking less demure than usual, darling." Astarion commented, his eyes still on her shoulder before they found hers again. He gave her an alluring smile, "I like it."

"Astarion, I…" Jeha stuttered, not exactly sure what she was going to follow up with.

His hand traced a strand of her locs, running down the long strand until it reached the hem of her oversized clothes. She swore he could feel her beating heart from where his hand was; she swore it had to be visible underneath her chest.

"I assume you didn't come here to talk. I think you want to be known, to be tasted." Astarion cooed, gesturing toward her with his hand.

Transfixed, her eyes were locked onto him, her body vibrating with exhilaration at his proximity. His attention remained on her hair, twisting the ends in his fingertips as he waited for her to answer.

"And what do you want?" Jeha managed to speak.

Astarion frowned slightly, releasing her hair and meeting her eyes again. Unsure why, he appeared to be perplexed by her answer, but as soon as it had caught him off guard he swiftly recovered. Jeha swore the buzz from the wine was blurring her senses too much to read his body language thoroughly.

"What do any of us want? Pleasure. Yours, mine, our collective ecstasy." Astarion replied, taking a step back to observe her better. "That's what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"

He was waiting for her permission, her say so to move forward. Jeha wasn't sure how she should proceed; her throat was tight, and her brain slowed from mild intoxication. She could only nod in response, watching his gaze soften with her answer.

"I thought so." He sighed.

Astarion's perspective

For a moment he was taken aback, for a moment his mask had almost slipped.

He had never been asked what he wanted before. The game of seduction had always been easy, less words involved once the agreement to have sex was made. He had led Jeha into the forest for that very reason, preparing himself for what his body had been trained to do. And yet here he was, her simple question giving him pause. Astarion noticed that she had caught on, her brows furrowing ever so slightly at his reaction.

She had finally confirmed what he had already known, her pursuit of him was solely for lust, for his body. Why did he think for a fleeting moment this was going to go in a different direction?

Jeha stood before him, captivated by his words and actions. It was too easy, one of the easiest targets he'd ever had. So much desperation and yearning, it almost made him feel guilty. He pictured her as a prude, doing his best to feel out the situation before he made too bold of a move, but it was apparent she was ready now.

He gripped the bottom of her blouse, an oversized and unflattering article of clothing that she was practically swimming in. He pulled it off her body, already feeling his mind start to retreat within itself. Disassociating made it more bearable.

But this was the first time in centuries he had slept with someone without it being under the guise of gathering victims for Cazador. He was doing this for himself, to secure a place amongst their group. She was a meal ticket, nothing more.

The two of them were kissing now, his mouth closed as her pursed lips found his. He could tell she was inexperienced, the way she clumsily mashed her lips against his, hastily yet reserved. He picked her up, his hands cupping her rounded bottom as he pressed her back against the nearby tree. His mind went blank as his hands instinctually explored her body, tracing her spinal ridges, something common in tiefling anatomy. He could hear her whines and labored breathing, but she sounded so far away.

Astarion had her on the forest floor now, on top of her as he slipped inside. He nearly winced, almost forgetting how much warmer tiefling's internal temperature was compared to other species. She let out a cry as he started to thrust, his mind slipping into a detached state apart from reality, where he intended on staying the rest of the night. He was content for a minute, feeling himself drifting away the deeper he went inside her.

But Jeha had brought him back down to Toril, back down to the dirt of the forest floor under the night sky. Her hand cupped his face, her other hand cradling the back of his head. Her touch was so soft, a gentleness that was nothing but a mere faded memory of a life he lived over two hundred years ago. Her embrace forced her cheek to press against his own, their faces pressed together like they were hugging. Her thumb stroked his cheekbone gently, her breath against his ear as she panted and moaned. He gripped her hand that had been stroking his face and pinned it down, stopping her so he could return to where he was mentally. He wanted his mind to go blank again.

Their eyes met, she smiled at him, withering her hand free from his grasp so she could cup his face fully. She pulled him down gingerly, kissing his forehead delicately.

Astarion slowed his rhythm to almost a complete stop, stunned.

Usually his lovers, targets, partners – whatever they were called – were writhing below him with their eyes clenched shut, their mouths agape with pleasure, so focused on their own climax he was nearly forgotten.

This was different, she was different.

He took a moment to fully study her now. Her hair splayed out wildly on the forest floor; the freckles that he just noticed littered her body, leaving trails from her cheeks down past her shoulders; the scar that ran across her cheek under her right eye; her full lips opening and closing as she gasped for air; the pupils of her one violet eye and other a green and golden mix, blown wide in pleasure, was staring into his so deeply with… yearning? Appreciation? He wasn't sure. Jeha was attractive, this wasn't a hidden secret. Astarion observed the extra attention she received from others, as oblivious as she could be to it, it was apparent how she could have someone smitten with her easily. But it was like he was seeing her for the first time. This wasn't supposed to be what he was focusing on.

"Is everything alright?"

Jeha's voice cut into his deep thoughts. She stared up at him, breathing heavily, her eyes laced with mild concern. Astarion didn't allow himself to linger on the conflicting signals for too long, it was too hard to explain how simple gestures could give him such pause, and he didn't want her to think she'd done anything wrong.

He was just ready to get this act over with.

"Of course, pet, I need you to sit up a minute." Astarion reassured her, guiding her upward to change their position.

With her legs now draped over his shoulders, allowing himself deeper inside her, he continued. His rhythm quickened again, hearing her breath hitch as her back arched and her head lolled backward. One of his hands groped her breasts, while his other supported the curve of her back. Astarion did his best to clear his head again, only focusing on her warmth, how wet she felt, her walls constricting more and closing in. She was close now. Astarion went through the motions, muscle memory taking over.

At last, Jeha finished, letting out a shrill wail as her hands clenched fistfuls of dirt. She called to whatever gods she believed or worshipped.

He let himself drift away as he carried on.

Jeha's perspective

The sunlight and the sounds of birds chirping stirred her awake, she groaned as she felt a twinge in her neck, it was stiff from falling asleep on the ground. Jeha rubbed her eyes as she sat up, realizing she was still nude as a light breeze caused her to hug herself and shiver in a meek attempt to warm herself up. Her locs were covered in leaves, her arms and back coated in dirt, and in between her legs felt sticky, her head was pounding. She wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, but she could recall the events leading up to her slumber well. The feel of his icy hands on her own warm body, his lips pressed to hers, how he felt inside of her – Jeha felt like she had been dreaming.

Astarion stood a few feet in front of her, beside a riverbank, his back to her, his arms out as he basked in the sunlight. She squinted, noticing something on his back. It looked like scars or a tattoo, but the print seemed familiar. Her eyes were still struggling to adjust to the sunlight.

"Astarion?" She called to him, as she started to pick leaves out of her hair.

His head turned slightly, his back still toward her. "You're a light sleeper, I thought you'd be exhausted after last night." He teased lightly.

She recalled that he seemed sad and detached during their lovemaking, almost like he wasn't mentally present throughout.

"Did…did I do okay? It felt like you weren't fully there." She piped up. "I'm sorry if I messed something up…"

"I was holding back, it's true. I didn't want to lose control. Delicious as you were, I didn't want to go too far." Astarion kept his back to her. "And no, you were fine, darling, don't fret."

Feeling slightly relieved, Jeha stood up, her eyes still on his back. She approached from behind him, her fingertips tracing the raised scars on his back. He bristled at her unexpected touch, ready to whirl around, but her voice stopped him.

"Why do you have Infernal carved into your back?" She questioned softly.

Astarion seemed surprised by this answer. "It's in Infernal? What does the poem say?"

"It describes oaths and something about 'the fires below, but it seems incomplete. It's very fragmented and is missing a good portion of the text it was taken from." Jeha described, analyzing his back further. "It's not a poem, it looks like it was part of a devil's pact."

"An Infernal Pact? What is that bastard up to?" Astarion grumbled, his voice trailing off in thought.

Jeha knew this had something to do with Cazador. She reached out to grasp his shoulder to comfort him, but he took a step away from her, now fully facing her direction.

"I don't need your pity," Astarion replied evenly, "I just have much to figure out now. If this is a powerful contract, then it's no wonder he wants me back. What have I run off with…" he disappeared in his own mind again. "Okay, that's enough pillow talk, we should return to camp before we are dragged into another mess."

"I'm going to clean myself up first," she said, stepping into the shallow part of the lake to wash up.

"I left your clothes here," he gestured toward a nearby rock, "see you soon, pet."

He stalked off into the forest, leaving her wade in the water, her thoughts racing as she watched the ripples form under her. As enjoyable as the night was, she was left feeling conflicted by her place with him – by her place in the world. Her life had been turned upside down, completely overtaken by unknowns and constant conflicts that had arisen all around them.

Jeha waded deeper into the water until she could squat down and fully submerge her head under water. She held herself underneath the surface, enjoying the deafening silence the water brought to her surroundings. She closed her eyes, letting the slow current lull her as she sat on the lake floor, hugging her legs. Eventually she rose to come up for air, taking in a deep breath before she dipped back down below the surface. She wanted to prolong her return to camp as long as she could. Picturing herself talking to Gale again after their awkward exchange was enough to make her want to hold her head underwater until she drowned, but her real hesitance was rushing back into the fearful unknown. Last night and this morning was the first time she felt like a normal person; staying out here in the forest by the lake was the most tranquility she knew she would experience in a long time.

Eventually Jeha returned to the lake shore, her damp locs weighing her down as she stepped out of the water fully. She didn't have any rags to dry herself with, she had no choice but to pull on her oversized clothing onto her sopping wet body and trudge back to camp.

As she trekked through the forest her mind wandered to Astarion as it often did. She was more certain about her feelings for him now, last night had cemented them firmly.

She truly cared about him.