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Part Two ~ Answering

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Laughing nervously, Elizabeth placed her fork on her plate and dabbed her lips with the napkin.

Momentarily distracted, Nathan watched, looking from her lips to her sparkling sapphire eyes.

"Nathan, I know we need to talk. Every time we've been together recently, someone has interrupted us. I wasn't aware of how much it has bothered you until Rosemary mentioned it today."

Frowning slightly, Nathan paused, his fork halfway between his mouth and his plate, "Rosemary?"

"Yes. She said Lee told her that you were disturbed by all the interruptions so encouraged me to tell you what is in my heart and on my mind. She says I cannot expect you to know, or guess, and I guess she is right. In spite of my past experience, I am not always confident in my interactions with men that I… that… I... appreciate."

Thankful to have found an acceptable word for this moment, Elizabeth continued, "I decided we needed to talk in private, away from town, and away from others. Would you mind if we talk after we finish our meal though? I know what I have to say, but need to avoid distractions so I don't forget anything important."

"We can do that." Nathan searched her face for any indication of the direction of this talk, but realized she had gone to a lot of trouble to prepare this meal and arrange this evening, so he would accept that as being a positive sign.

As they completed their main course, Nathan explained he had purchased the gooey butter cake if she hadn't prepared anything for dessert. He reached for her plate saying, "You may stay here. Let me get the cake. Do you need anything else to drink?"

"Maybe tea later? I would enjoy the cake, Nathan, thank you. I brought some cookies with me as this was a last minute decision but they are nothing special. The cake sounds delicious."

Becoming increasingly more relaxed, they enjoyed their dessert along with additional discussion of their children growing up too fast and the challenges inherent in each stage.

Once finished, they stood together to clear the table and laughed.

"It looks as though I don't want you to think you must serve me and maybe you are thinking the same?" Nathan questioned as he collected used dishes to carry into the kitchen. "I've never seen this china before. It's pretty."

Blushing, Elizabeth admitted, "I wanted to make it special tonight. Shall we cleanup together?"

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Observing Nathan's suds-covered hands and tanned arms that were revealed by his rolled-up sleeves, Elizabeth allowed herself a momentary daydream of a future with this admirable man. She giggled quietly when she realized she was admiring Nathan Grant while washing dishes!

Nathan paused, looking into her eyes, "What has you laughing?"

Elizabeth's cheeks pinked and she ducked her head to avoid his gaze, "I was just thinking, um, admiring you as you are accomplishing such a mundane task."

Feeling emboldened by her blush and admission, he quickly swiped a dollop of suds and deposited it on the tip of her nose.

Suddenly engulfed in giggles, Elizabeth spurted out, "Oh! I guess I deserve that since you've probably been waiting a long time with icing on yours!" She wiped off the suds as her nose began to itch, then scrunched her nose at him.

His smile was one of the widest she had seen as he commented, "I've revisited that memory for a very long time… Cupcakes have never tasted the same."

Reaching for another dish, Elizabeth confessed, "I can't believe I was so bold, and in front of my students too! Sorry."

"Don't be. The memory is sweet," He glanced sideways to see if she would smile and was rewarded with both a smile and a nudge to his arm.

"Sweet, huh?"

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Nathan carried a tray containing a covered tea pot and fixings, setting it on the coffee table and waiting for her to choose a seat.

Digging into the side pocket of her skirt, Elizabeth gripped a linen handkerchief then sat on the sofa and watched Nathan take the chair opposite her. She motioned to the tray, inquiring, "Tea?"

"Not now, but thanks." Nathan sat with his elbows leaning on the arms of the chair, his hands loosely folded in front of him.

With a fortifying breath Elizabeth began, "Nathan, you startled me with your questions earlier today, but after talking to Rosemary I realize I must be brave and tell you everything. First though, I am sorry."

Her eyes were pleading, but Nathan schooled his features and watched her closely, listening.

"I cannot be sure I will remember all I am apologizing for, so if I've neglected something that has wounded you, please tell me? I never intended to hurt anyone, but I now understand I have. Nathan, I regret going to Union City unchaperoned. I'm afraid it sent the wrong message when I only wanted to see the author in person."

"We have had so many precious conversations over the years that when you avoided me after I returned, I was chagrinned. I am sorry to have confused you and given mixed signals."

Elizabeth paused, unconsciously wringing her handkerchief before continuing, "Rosemary says I have flirted with both you and Lucas and that wasn't right. When I hugged you after the prisoner transfer I was so relieved to see you alive that I didn't think before I ran into your arms. Afterwards, I was embarrassed to have done that in front of the entire town, so I never accepted your invitation. I was afraid to be seen on a dinner date with you as that would further disclose my feelings for you and indicate a serious relationship for which I wasn't ready."

"When you talked to me beside the river that time and shared your sweet confession of love, I was still scared. I'm sorry to have run from you though. It was cowardly and thoughtless when you had just opened your beautiful heart to me. Can you forgive me?"

"I have," Nathan spoke softly but quietly watched her and waited, hoping for more.

"Thank you, Nathan. I am sorry for all the times I confronted you, in public and in the jail. I've recently concluded that I often ran from you, slammed doors, and didn't give you a chance to explain… That is not being a good friend and I am sorry. So sorry…"

A lone tear escaped as Elizabeth shared these painful memories and she took a deep breath before continuing with one of the worst of her confessions. "I am sorry for lying to you in the jail. I do think you are impeccable. I do love you and I have ever since our earliest meetings."

Nathan sat straighter, welcoming this confession even though he was reminded of the sharp, piercing statement that followed.

She searched his face as she admitted, "I can't really explain my comment about looking for Jack. I know both of you are good, yet different men. I know you are excellent at your job and both share admirable Mountie qualities. I've gotten used to seeing the serge around town, but my heart stops when I see it now. That's because you are wearing it, Nathan." Elizabeth could still see hurt in Nathan's eyes so continued, "I knew I hurt you when I said that and I regret it so much. In an effort to avoid admitting my true feelings, I think I was looking for excuses to reject you. Still, it was cruel and I am so sorry, Nathan."

Nathan leaned forward, head lowered and arms resting on his thighs. His voice husky, he shared, "I've never understood how you could stick a knife in me like that, but I have worked at forgiving you whenever I remember those words. I probably still need to practice forgiving you. I'm sorry, Elizabeth, it just hurt so much. And then you began to date Lucas…" When Nathan lifted his face to hers again she saw the raw pain as they filled with tears and she rose to kneel before him. Surprised, Nathan leaned back against the chair, closed his eyes and pinched his nose.

"I'm sorry, Nathan, if this is hurting you again… but we have to get through it…" Elizabeth leaned back on her heels and whispered, "I ran to Lucas because he wasn't a threat to my security. I thought I wouldn't lose him. He was a safe choice for me, not even thinking about the dangers posed in a Saloon. He represented Hamilton to me and I was comfortable with his dating, candles, efforts to impress me… until I wasn't. I don't think I was myself in the beginning and I lost my voice. I gradually became uncomfortable. Lucas was not genuine but manipulative, although it took me a long time to see that."

As Elizabeth drew quiet, Nathan asked what he needed to know, "Who broke your engagement?" He flinched as he voiced the word.

Softly, she confessed, "I did."

"Because you didn't want to leave Hope Valley?"

"In part, yes. I am grateful you came into the schoolhouse that day. You forced me to face the truth. But leaving here wasn't the only reason, Nathan. There were cracks in our relationship that had been growing for many months and I tried to ignore them or patch them up. The truth is I began to compare him with you, and Lucas didn't measure up by any measuring stick." She lifted her face to Nathan's. "I had to admit what I had spoken to you about Allie. You are the measure of the kind of man I want to marry, Nathan. I'm able to admit that now."

Nathan hardly knew what to think or feel in this moment. It was all so new to hear what he had wondered, known, and thought about actually verbalized. These were words he had so often longed to hear.

"Nathan, you need to know it is because you are in my heart that I couldn't continue with Lucas. I figured it out, that question you asked me at the pond? It is you… in my heart… I am in love with you, Nathan..."

Nathan leaned forward and placed his hands on each side of her face, gently wiping her tears away with his thumbs. He searched her eyes, then whispered his question, his voice low, "You mean you love me? You really see a future for us? For you and me and our children together?"

She nodded her head as she placed her hands over his, "I do."

"Do you still have feelings for me?" Elizabeth asked breathlessly, "Do you still love me?"

Briefly tempted to chide her to look at how he had cared for her all these years, he nevertheless only responded, "I do."

Elizabeth had not intended to weep in front of Nathan at such a time, but when she heard their words as a vow each to the other, she suddenly sobbed. Deep, wracking sobs escaped and she was powerless to contain them.

Nathan moved to wrap his arms around her and pull her to lean against his shoulder, one hand cradling her soft hair. He held her close until her sobs quieted, her tears diminished, and she hiccupped softly. The tiny sound was quickly followed by a soft giggle and an apology, "Sorry."

It was then that Nathan released her and pulled away enough to look into her face. Seeing the sparkle of humor, he allowed himself to smile and raise his eyebrow. "That's not the way Allie usually stops crying."

"No, I suppose not," she giggled again. Elizabeth dried her face, refolded her handkerchief and tried to use it again.

Nathan reached into his trouser pocket and handed her his own handkerchief, "Here. Use this."

Once she stilled, Nathan reached out his hand, "Please, let me help you stand?"

They were too close for this moment, so Nathan released her hand and moved slightly to the side, saying, "Maybe we need a change of scenery. Shall we go out and enjoy the stars for a bit before I walk you home?"

"Sure, Nathan." Elizabeth agreed although she was still unsure of where their relationship stood.

Wrapping her shawl more closely around her, Elizabeth sat on the steps followed by Nathan. He sat leaving a little space between them, but Elizabeth slid so their arms were touching. Slowly she threaded her hand through his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder.

With a joy-filled heart, Nathan squeezed his elbow close, pressing her arm against his side. He gently kissed her temple before leaning his cheek against her fragrant hair.

After a comfortable silence, Elizabeth asked a question, her voice hopeful, "Are we courting, Nathan Grant?"

"Do you want to be?" He held his breath.

"Yes, please? It's the next step for us, don't you think?"

"Then yes, Elizabeth Thornton, we are courting, but only until I ask you another question," Nathan lifted the hand that rested on his forearm and whispered a warm kiss across her knuckles, thinking about a ring hidden upstairs in his room. Barely audible he breathed out a promise, "Soon..."

Together, Nathan and Elizabeth sighed and gazed at the distant stars, grateful for answered questions and the infinite possibilities before them.

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