Tick…tick…tick…
Lillie silently wrung her hands. The waiting room was quiet—eerily so—and something in her feared that if she was too loud it would throw the entire hospital into chaos.
Tick…tick…tick…
The wall clock directly above where she sat was driving her mad. She could move to a different seat, but she worried that would look incredibly odd to the receptionist. She could step out for a moment, get some fresh air, but she couldn't risk missing the doctor.
Tick…tick…tick…
She leaned back slightly, which led her to realize nearly every muscle in her body was tightly tensed. Quietly, she took a deep breath, and tried to relax herself at least a little.
Tick—BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!
Lillie's heart tried to leap from her chest like a Pokémon sick of being in its ball. She held onto the armrests to steady herself while the receptionist answered the phone, the pounding in her ears drowning out both the conversation and the accursed clock. Just as she felt she was getting her bearings back, the door on the other side of the room opened, and out walked the doctor in charge of her mother's recovery. It took one moment for Lillie to get on her feet, and just one more to reach the doctor's side.
"Doctor! Um, how did things go…?"
His smile was weary but warm. "Quite well, I'd say. Thanks to Bill's Cell Separation System we were able to remove all traces of the toxins in your mother's body."
Lillie sighed. "Oh, good…thank you so much for taking care of her."
"My pleasure. Now, I should tell you: since this is a toxin we're unfamiliar with, it's very difficult to estimate how long it'll take for your mother to be back at full health. It could be a matter of hours, or it could be a matter of months—we just don't know."
"Yes, I understand." She glanced at the door. "Is she still in the operating room?"
"For now. We want to observe her just a bit longer, to make sure it's safe to move her. We'll let you know as soon as she's ready to return her to her room."
"Thank you, again. Everyone here's been so wonderful to us; I can't begin to tell you how much we appreciate all that you've done!"
She let the doctor leave and, after one more look back at the operating room door, exited the waiting room at last. The orange tint of the hall she walked through made her realize the sun was setting, and that it hadn't been her imagination making her think the procedure had taken a very long time to complete. Her stomach growled at her. She paused, looked at the elevator, then turned to the Xtransceiver on her wrist. After giving it a little more thought, she stepped through the nearest door and out onto an empty balcony. Lillie poked the device a few times to summon an image of her brother on its screen.
"There you are," Gladion said. "I take it the operation ran long?"
"Nice to see you too, brother," Lillie said. "Yes, it took them longer than expected—I only just got to speak with the doctor. But he said they were able to completely remove Nihilego's toxins! Mother should be back to her old self soon enough."
Gladion adjusted his hair. "Hm. Well, I'm glad to hear it was a success. How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine. Um, I did forget to eat dinner, but that's something I can take care of right away."
"Then I won't keep you. Just…"
She waited to see if he would finish his sentence. "…Just…what?"
Gladion sighed. "At the risk of being blunt…it wasn't the neurotoxin that turned Mother into the person we both had to run from. Remember that."
Lillie blinked. Then she scowled. "I know that. But she's already been getting better since the treatment started. I told you: she hasn't said anything about Ultra Beasts, and she's always asking how the two of us are doing—"
"You also told me she was still awfully controlling."
"…I know she won't suddenly change overnight. But the doctor did say she would recover."
"'Back to her old self', as you put it?"
"I…well, that's…" She shook her head. "That's not important! After everything that's happened, surely she knows she can't continue on like that!"
Gladion looked away. "Maybe. I'm not so sure."
"Gladion—"
"But I'm not asking you to convince me. I just want to know you're prepared for the possibility of things turning out less than ideal."
Lillie took a moment to absorb his words. "…I understand. Thank you, Gladion…I'll try."
He nodded. "Alright. Now go get something to eat. I'll talk to you later."
He ended the call. Lillie stared at the balcony floor for a while, lost in thought, until her stomach again roared at her. It was a short walk to the hospital cafeteria, and after finishing her meal, she pulled her diary from her bag and flipped to the first empty page.
Day XX in Kanto
Mother's surgery was today—the big one using Mr. Bill's program. It took longer than expected, but it was a complete success! Now we just need to wait for Mother to get her strength back. I'm relieved, and very happy to know she'll be alright.
Her eyes drifted towards her Xtransceiver, and her pen halted for a while.
And, though I don't want to admit it, I'm also a little scared. Anything she does after today can't be blamed on the neurotoxin. Well, perhaps until her body fully recovers
She stopped and shook her head.
Well, perhaps until her body fully recovers I want to believe she'll change from the person she's been these past few years, try to be the mother I remember from when I was young, but I keep needing to remind myself that I can't make that choice for her. I thought I already
A yawn caught her off-guard. She considered heading back to her mother's room and getting some rest, but reasoned she probably wouldn't be able to rest much until the doctors were finished observing Lusamine.
I thought I already decided I won't simply appease her anymore. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done, so I suppose I'm a bit too eager to picture a future where I don't have to see it through. I won't beat myself up for hoping. But Gladion's right: I need to be prepared for anything.
Not much else came to mind. She doodled a bit, finishing the page with a few messy sketches of Clefairy and Exeggutor and Nebby. It was a long, long time before she heard from the doctor again.
She awoke to find her mother sitting up in her bed, watching something on the television. After stretching and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she said, "Mother? How are you feeling?"
Lusamine turned; her gaze was more lucid than it had been in a long time, which Lillie took as proof that the effects of the toxins were wearing off, but she couldn't quite read her expression. "Oh, Lillie. I'm doing much better…though my memory is a bit cloudy on a few things. What hospital is this again?"
Lillie couldn't help but relax, hearing her speak so normally. "It's St. Joy's, in Saffron City."
Lusamine crossed her arms. "Saffron…I remember you mentioning Kanto, but why Saffron?"
"We needed help from somebody who lives in Cerulean City, but…well, even in that state you insisted on the best accommodations possible…"
"Oh…heh, I suppose that does sound like me. Thank you for taking such good care of me, dear."
Lillie smiled. "Of course."
Lusamine looked around. "Is…Gladion here…?"
"He stayed at Aether Paradise, running the Foundation while you were gone. It sounds like things are going well! But, he is a bit bored with it."
"That's right, I remember now. Well, I can't imagine I'll be here much longer, so…" She paused, staring at Lillie. "How long have you been wearing your hair up like that?"
A sinking feeling slowly snaked into Lillie's heart. "Um…not particularly long. I wanted to try something new."
"You look much more beautiful with it down. Besides, doesn't that get in the way of wearing that darling hat I bought you?"
"Well…that's…"
"Come here. Let me fix it for you."
Lusamine reached out. Lillie pulled back, saying, "No, I…I actually like my hair like this."
"Nonsense, what you had before was much better. Let me help you."
"Mother, please, stop."
"It'll only take a moment."
"Mother!" Lusamine finally stopped. Lillie awkwardly held her hand, and said, "I want to keep it this way for now."
Her expression was starting to look familiar—all too familiar. "…Fine. Now, what was I saying…ah, yes. I'll call Gladion shortly and let him know we'll be returning to Alola soon. Once we do, perhaps the three of us can go on a trip together; wouldn't that be nice?"
Lillie swallowed hard. "It…does sound nice, bu—"
"Wonderful! I'll have Wicke start making preparations for us."
"Er, Mothe—"
"Unova is quite nice this time of year. Oh, but I've always wanted to show you Kalos! Yes, you'll love it there."
After one last moment of hesitation, Lillie squeezed Lusamine's hand. "Mother, you must listen to me!"
Lusamine stared at her. Her eyes were wide with shock, confusion…Lillie thought she saw a flash of fear as well. Much as she didn't want to say it, she knew it needed to be said.
"…I'm…not going back to Alola with you."
Silence filled the room. The seconds seemed to stretch themselves into hours, weeks, years. Lillie barely moved a muscle—once again, she found, they were all extremely tense.
Tick…tick…tick…
"You don't mean that," Lusamine said.
Lillie nodded. "I do."
"You can't! You can't just abandon me, not again!"
She knew she'd have to choose her battles. "I'm not abandoning you. I'll stay with you until—"
Lusamine suddenly grabbed her shoulders. "You have to stay with me always!"
"M…Mother."
She tried to smile as the fear came to fill her eyes completely. "I-I got carried away, I know! I shouldn't have chased the Ultra Beasts so obsessively! I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I really, truly am! Let's just start over again: I'll be a better mother, I promise! We can still be a family!"
Lillie's heart ached. Part of her was convinced that this was exactly what she had wanted to hear, that all she had to do was accept and let everything settle back into normalcy. But only one part. "I've made up my mind: I'm not leaving Kanto until I've completed its gym challenge."
Tears welled in Lusamine's eyes. "Wh…what are you talking about? You hate Pokémon battles!"
"I learned a lot after leaving Aether Paradise. I'm not the same person I used to be…but, I'm not quite the person I want to be either, not yet. That's why I want to challenge the gyms: so that I can keep learning, keep growing!"
"No, you just need to stay the way you were! You just need to go back to the way you were!"
Lillie's words caught in her throat. Squaring her shoulders, she pushed and heaved until she was finally able to spew them out. "We can't…just…go back. We can't simply pretend none of this happened, Mother. We have to accept what's happened, terrible as it all is, and find a way to move forward. And I…have to find mine on my own."
Lusamine's grip tightened. "Lillie, I can't lose you!"
Gently as she could, Lillie grabbed her mother's wrists. "That's exactly what will happen if you try to keep such tight hold of me."
Lusamine didn't reply.
"I'm not going away forever, Mother. But I also can't stay forever. Please…you have to understand."
Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Lusamine's grip began to loosen. When she finally let go, her hands hovered near Lillie for a moment, and then she pulled them back, looked down at the bed, and slumped. Lillie waited as long as she could bear.
"I know this must be a lot for you to take in. I'll give you some time."
She heard no response as she stood up and left the room. Lillie walked down the hall, her pace slowing with every step, and prodded her Xtransceiver with trembling fingers.
"Yes?" Gladion answered. "Did something…Lillie? What's wrong?"
Lillie broke down sobbing.
Ssshhhh…ssssshhhhh…sssshhh…
Lillie raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. From the bench along the harbor, she could hear the endless sound of the waves and feel the salty, refreshing ocean wind roll over her. Off in the distance, a shining white luxury liner blew its horn as it drifted on out of sight. Lillie fished her diary out her bag, turned to the first blank page, and sat back.
Day XX in Kanto
I just saw Mother off. She was still sad and angry, and made sure we all knew it, but I'm glad that at the very least she's begun to accept my decision to stay. It's a long trip to Alola—Gladion said he'll need the time to work out how he's going to persuade Mother to let him leave Aether Paradise. I hope it won't be too difficult for him.
A Slowpoke sat at the very edge of the dock, dangling its tail in the water in the hopes something would bite. Nothing did.
The truth is that I'm sad to see her go. Isn't that strange? All this effort to let go, and I still find myself wanting to look back. I can't tell if it's grief, or love (Mother certainly doesn't think so), or something else entirely. It might be a long time before I'm able to know for sure. I suppose it's part of accepting the past, rather than simply ignoring it. But, the past will still be there whenever I am ready to make sense of it—I want to turn my focus to the future.
She sighed. Her muscles still felt a bit stiff, but they were far more agreeable to movement now. A school of Poliwag came to the water's edge, paused to investigate, and then leapt in and began swimming across the harbor, chattering gleefully as they went.
I'm still in Vermillion City right now. I have a ticket for a voyage of my own, just a short ways west to Pallet Town. I've been in contact with Oak Labs these past few days, and after getting some paperwork settled, they've agreed to give me the support I need to start my gym challenge. In spite of everything, I feel this grand excitement building within me just thinking about it. It hardly seems real, but by this time tomorrow, I'll be a real Pokémon Trainer!
Lillie gazed out over the sea. An electric feeling ran throughout her body; her heart felt impossibly light, like it might carry her up into the sky now that she had shed the weight on her shoulders. She couldn't help but smile.
Whatever I run into on my adventure, I know I'll be able to my Pokémon and I will be able to handle it. We'll grow stronger together, and when we're done here, we'll head back to Alola to show all of our friends there. Then, if they're up for it, I'd love to go on another adventure with Hau, Gladion, and
Another horn rang out, this one much closer. Lillie looked up to see her ship entering the harbor. She quickly put away her diary and got to her feet, and then, taking a deep breath, she approached the dock.
"Alola!"
Notes:
-Much as I love Sun and Moon, there are a number of criticisms I have. The way they resolved things with Lillie and Lusamine, while generally sound, had some ambiguity and open-endedness that have always kind of nagged at me, and USUM took a damn sledgehammer to the original plot so that didn't help. Can't really say why now is when I finally decided to take a stab at it, though.
-The title comes from "cutting the umbilical cord", which can be used both literally and metaphorically to mean a child separating from their parent(s) into a greater level of independence. "Parasitic" can obviously refer to Nihilego, but it also casts Lusamine as a parasite attached to Lillie, one she has to remove for the sake of her own health and growth. The definition used for the summary is a truncated version of Wiktionary's entry for the word.
-The Xtransceiver probably seems like a weird pick; since in SuMo they say a Rotom Pokédex is a rare sight, it didn't feel right giving Lillie a Rotom Phone at this point. The next most recent communication device would be the Holo Caster, but I would like to think that went under once Lysandre showed who he was, so the NEXT most recent one was the Xtransceiver.
-Naming the hospital "St. Joy's" is one of my favorite jokes I've ever made.
-Kanto's such a hecking mess, only a handful of maps show Cycling Road as being elevated enough for ships leaving Vermillion to actually get to the sea, and the western part of the region is COMPLETELY cut off from any sensible form of travel, and the whole thing is just one big ugly square I just HATE-
-Basically I just wanted Lillie to free herself from Lusamine. Maybe not cut her out of her life entirely, but definitely invest in some distance. "But forgiveness!" It's a more complex issue than that and I don't have time to write a full story digging into it. "But Lusamine's hot!" Believe it or not abusive parenting is a huge turn-off for me. "But the resolution from USUM is what's actually canon!" Only because the Pokémon Company is run by COWARDS, unlike me who is cool and right about this and most other things.