The information on Legolas and Gimli comes from various sources, including fanfiction and the original Lord of the Rings book trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Chapter Thirteen:

A Reduced Quota

Miraculously – maybe it wasn't so miraculous – Legolas and Gimli showed up at the same time. For some reason, Gimli had a special axe used to cut down Mary-Sues. I guessed one of the robed people had given Gimli the axe. Gimli brought in a chair to the therapist's room, where he sat down next to Legolas.

Gimli asked, "When can we return these fine weapons?"

"I have been wondering that," said Legolas.

"Well, until you feel it necessary to reduce the number of Mary-Sues. Gratefully, they have been diminishing, but there will always be those that increase in number," I said.

"Good. I was wondering. Legolas and I had a contest to see how many Mary-Sues we could knock down. I had one-thousand and ten. Legolas had one-thousand and nine, the last time I checked," said Gimli.

"It's true," said Legolas.

"You do realize this hasn't stopped the bad fanfiction stories," I said.

"Yes, we are aware of that," said Gimli.

"And your friendship?" I asked, even though I did not need to.

"Our friendship runs smoothly, Lady Aria. What else were you expecting?" asked Gimli.

Legolas said, "Our friendship goes well, as Gimli just demonstrated."

"Well, you can't use combat to increase your friendship," I said.

Gimli said, "You can if it is an elf and a dwarf together. Since there will always be Mary-Sues, Legolas and I can keep fighting them off until they are reduced to rubble."

"What about the Gary-Stus? You haven't thought of those," I said. Maybe it was wrong of me to say it, since that perked Legolas and Gimli's interest.

Gimli said, standing up. "Right then, we shall take of those Gary-Stus straight away."

Legolas only watched as Gimli vanished into a bright light. He turned to me, apologetically, "I am sorry for Gimli's behavior. He couldn't resist another fight, as long as it honors the dwarves."

"I understand. I do hope Gimli isn't always battle-hardy, but that must be his nature," I said. "How are you coping, Legolas?"

"The usual: the fans, the fanfiction, the Mary-Sues and those fans that think they can turn me into a Gary-Stu. I've been doing my hardest to keep my flaws in check. That I can promise. Even elves have their flaws," said Legolas.

"Do you think you'll ever stop fighting the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus, or even what the fans think of you?" I said.

"Well, I can't control what the fans think. That much is obvious. As for the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus, that may be a never-ending battle," said Legolas. "I think that maybe…"

One of the robed men interrupted Legolas. He told the elf prince, "Legolas, I hear your progress goes well. I am willing to grant you and Gimli titles for your hard work and services to us."

"What sort of title?" asked Legolas, curious.

"Slayer of the Mary-Sues. You keep this up, we'll give you a title for defeating the Gary-Stus," said the robed man. He walked away.

I was impressed. "That is a title."

"Yes, these robed men and women seem to know their place, but then stopping Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus is as good a task as finding the good fanfiction stories," said Legolas.

"How are you coping with the loss of your mother? What was she like?" I asked.

Legolas looked at me as if I smacked him in the chest, hard. He managed to say, "No one has asked me that before."

"Well, I'm asking," I said.

"Yes, I suppose you are." Legolas explained, "My mother was a wonder and a blessing when she was still alive. She used to tell me stories, sing to me when I was an elfling. The loss of my mother took my father hard. He hasn't been the same ever since."

"What about you?" I asked.

Legolas said, saddened. "Forgive me, but elves do not grieve. It would mean death for them."

"I'm sorry, but I'm only asking," I said.

"I know you are. It's been difficult not having a mother around. I wish I she was still here, but I suppose I shall see her again one day, if that happens," said Legolas.

"Speaking of your father, have you spoken to him at all?" I asked. "Has Gimli spoken to his father, Glóin?"

"Yes, but the last time Gimli spoke to Glóin was before we traveled together to defeat the Mary-Sues. His father goes well and their relationship is good, as is mine with my father," said Legolas. "You know Thranduil has been hanging around here. I think the robed men and women want to give him a commission to help stop the Mary-Sues."

"Yes, I did hear about that," I said.

"Well, maybe my father will do these fair people service after all," said Legolas.

"Have you found a lover within this time? I don't think it's wise you should focus all your energy and strength on just the fanfiction, fans, and Mary-Sues," I said. "You need to be doing other things to keep your mind active. Otherwise, you're going to be tired."

"Lady Aria, elves have a different way of being tired. Even the dwarves can vouch for that, as they can last just as long as elves in battle," said Legolas. "But I will think on your words."

"That's good to hear," I said. "Give me regular updates on the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. I do hope they keep reducing in number. I can't say the same for the fans, but I'm sure you would like less fans thinking about you."

"Yes. I have a feeling Gimli's competing against me for fan-interest and their love," said Legolas. "So, there won't be any more therapy sessions for me and Gimli?"

"Well, Gimli I have a feeling doesn't need as much therapy any more. As for you, I think you're doing well. We won't meet as often, same as Gimli, but I hope you do other things, too," I said.

"Thank you," said Legolas. "And good luck to you. I have heard you've covered almost every Fellowship member. Have you met with Frodo yet?"

I was offended. "No. Why? What have you heard?"

Legolas raised his hands. "I'm sorry to have offended you. I meant no harm."

I relaxed. "I'm sorry. Some members of the Fellowship need to mind their own business. I don't mean you, since you only asked me a question."

Legolas said, "Well, even fans need to mind their place." He said, curtly, "You may be different, but you won't know that until you've met Frodo. You wait and see." He left the room through a bright light.

I checked Legolas' folder just after he left. All that remained in the only folder left of his were a small stack of papers and a note:

The Fans continue to be a burden, as do the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. I am ever grateful for your services, truly.

-Legolas Thranduilion,
Prince of the Woodland Realm

As I closed the folder, I felt sure it would vanish. It did not do such a thing. So I checked Gimli's folder next, which had three to four sheets of paper and a note:

Ah, the joy of battle. But friendship is where it counts.

-Gimli, son of Glóin

Just after I closed Gimli's folder, I moved my hand away from it. This time, Legolas' folder and Gimli's folder vanished in a surrounding bright light. In its place was a lone yellow folder, stacked with papers. I looked inside to see who was next, only this time I gasped in excitement.

"Frodo Baggins," I muttered.

Surprisingly, no bright light showed up in the hallway… so strange.