Chapter 135:
Laxus groaned when he glimpsed the frozen condensation on the windows of the hotel, pulling a dozing Gajeel close as the panes became painted with shades of rose dawn. Gajeel had charmingly allowed him to mutter his curses of the morning against his neck and nuzzle him as if clutching his body tightly to him would melt away the chill rolling down from the mountains, and then cruelly shattered all of his cozy dreams when he'd finally wrestled himself free of his arms and walked nearly naked across the unforgiving wood floors to start dragging free their clothes, fussing about the blonde being a diva for being unwilling to put his bare feet to cold floors so early in the morning. He didn't mean it of course, and got him got him spiced tea to sip as they walked out to the mountain path.
"Why all the way back? We just need to be out a few miles..." Laxus griped from where he shivered against a tree, eyeing the frost that clung staunchly to the grass, still verdant and refusing to succumb to winter's thrall just yet. He pulled up his collar as if it would hide the blush rushing across his face, "Apparently, the thunder travels either way."
"Swête weder," Gajeel sighed, rocking up on his toes so they'd be eye-to-eye. His voice was deep and melodious, "You really don't want to go back?"
Laxus smirked a bit, "Ain't like it's a pleasure trip. Besides... the warm bed and shower were nice."
"Tired of roughing it already?" Gajeel grinned widely, mirth making his eyes sparkle.
"Not all of us have an internal furnace, devil," Laxus said, swooping down to steal a kiss, "I'm surprised you're not against it."
"Maybe I wanna watch Serrill squirm when he hears the wolves howling."
Laxus raised a skeptical brow but pressed no further. It had been Davian's idea to go all the way back to the top of the mountain when they'd spoken of where to attempt contacting his dragon. In other circumstances, he would have suspected something, but he was too nervous to investigate into the chameleon's motives. Gajeel would say something if he thought Davian was out for something untoward, but he'd been strangely acquiescent. So fine. Laxus didn't argue, either, even if he wasn't keen on another long hike. He knew an easier path up the mountain that didn't involve scaling cliff sides as Gajeel had done, having zipped around in lightning body while giving chase. He just wished the morning wind wasn't so whetted with the call of winter. He was really looking forward to being back in Magnolia where the cold wouldn't be quite so bold yet.
Davian and Serrill, who had grown accustomed to living by the sea where the seasons were far milder, seemed to have it even worse than him that morning. Although Davian didn't complain, he was fully garbed with gloves and all, even letting his hair stay down to keep his neck warm until the sun ushered in more of its heat and reminded the world it wasn't winter yet. Serrill talked almost incessantly, filling the silence to the point Laxus was annoyed.
He was in the middle of talking about something to do with the prison (or so Laxus thought. Something about roll call? Or, no... maybe it was a story about his time in Academy. He wasn't paying attention.) when he noticed Gajeel cock his head to the side and listen intently to something. The haunting, high call of an elk pierced the quiet forest, and Serrill's conversation jittered to a halt. Gajeel shot Laxus a playful smirk and motioned him to look a certain direction, pointing out into the depths of green. It had taken a moment, but Laxus saw what he was pointing to. A herd of them were standing in the middle of a stream, some sipping at crystal clear water and others nibbling through undergrowth.
"How in the hell did you see that?" Laxus said, dropping his voice. Not that it mattered. If they feared humans, Serrill's loud talking would have warded them away long before.
"Ya just gotta know what ta look for," he said, a soft smile on his face, "They stick to the valleys when the cold starts comin' in."
"Gods alive, they're huge." Serrill hissed, "That one's as big as a moose!"
"Is it the wild magic that makes things so large here?" Davian asked.
Gajeel shrugged, "T's all ghost stories at the end of the day, ain't it? Could find the reason but... sorta loses a bit of the fun."
"How long did you live out here?" Laxus asked.
"Few years..." Gajeel said, reaching up to run his fingers through the leaves of a low-hanging branch as they continued their hike up the mountain, "Dad loved this place."
"Yeah?" Laxus hummed, "He ever take you anywhere else?"
"Not far. He didn't want to be spotted. He was wary of humans."
"Wary?" Laxus said, amused by the idea, "Why would a dragon be wary of humans?"
"I think... they made him sad." Gajeel said and was quiet for a moment before he raised his arm and gestured out deeper into the mountains. "If you go out that way, the iron in the soil gets denser. He'd take me there and teach me how to pull the metal from the ground with magic. I asked him once why he never talked to other people like he did me. He said: It is in men as it is with the dirt under your feet. There are veins of gold, but it is best they go unknown. For all their differences, there is only one thing consistent; their greed and lust for power. They will root out whatever beauty they can find, claim it for themselves, and leave the world a waste in their wake."
"So... you get the melancholic poetry from him, then?" Laxus asked and Gajeel chuckled.
"And all the sad love songs."
"Ah, so he's to blame for your poor taste?" Laxus teased, "I'll give him hell for it if I ever meet him."
"Wouldn't that be somethin'? You meetin' Metalicana," Gajeel said, his voice turning quiet, "I know the first thing he'd say, too."
"Hm?"
"He'd wonder how in the hell you'd ever fall for someone with such a nasty look in their eyes," he sighed, "As if it wasn't his fault I had the eyes of a demon."
Laxus frowned a bit at that, "He said that? That you had a nasty look in your eyes?"
"All the time."
"Was no one ever kind to you, Gajeel?" Laxus found himself asking, startling the raven just as much as himself.
"Metalicana was kind in his own way. Not like a mother, but... he was kind," Gajeel said, his tone growing warm as he turned some memory over in his mind, "He knew I loved to fly, so he'd take me out on moonless nights. He'd take me up until the air was thin and frigid, and we'd sail over the world until the sun peeked out over the curve of Earthland. And he'd sing all the time... any time I asked, and tell me stories."
"Do you think he'd like me?" Laxus asked, "Your dad?"
"Hm? You? Oh, yeah..." he laughed, immediately light-hearted, "S'long as you don't stutter, he wouldn't care. Scared humans annoyed him."
"Noted," Laxus said. They lapsed back into silence, listening to Serrill prattling on about something to Davian before Laxus's curiosity got the better of him once more, "How old were you when the dragons vanished?"
"Not sure… twelve, maybe." Gajeel shrugged. He pushed his hair back from his face as he thought, "Yeah, about that, anyway. It was three summers before I joined Phantom."
"You didn't join right away?"
"No, uh, you had to be initiated and… age was a thing," Gajeel said, nervous as he was whenever he spoke of some dark thing about Phantom Lord, "The only reason I got in so young was because Hajime thought I was seventeen. I ran around with older kids and I guess I looked older than I was."
"What did you do for those three years, then? If you didn't have a guild?" Laxus asked, his brow furrowed.
Gajeel gave him a meek smile, "I ran the streets."
"Oh…" Laxus said dumbly. He had mentioned he'd been homeless before, hadn't he? It never occurred to Laxus to ask when. "That must have been hard."
"There was always a group of us so we made our way as best we could. The winters were rough but I knew how to weather them better than most because of my dad," Gajeel explained, "Got good a picking pockets."
"Makes sense why you were so anxious to join the guild," Laxus mused, "If it got you off the street."
"Yeah… Jose was a mastermind," Gajeel sighed, "Phantom ran all the soup kitchens, owned the homeless shelter, the charities. We all grew up thinkin' we'd make it if we could just get in. Now, just about everyone I knew from back then is in prison, dead, or in a dark guild."
"Damn." Laxus said a bit awkwardly, "We grew up so different."
"Ain't nothin' wrong with that, fairy," Gajeel said easily, plucking a handful of sprigs from some shrub they passed to busy his hands with as they walked.
"Think I would have made it?" Laxus asked.
"Hm?" Gajeel gave him a curious look, "What do you mean?"
"If we'd grown up together, do you think I would have made it? Or do you think the winter would take me out?" Laxus smirked, rolling his eyes playfully as he added, "I'm so high maintenance... or so I've been told."
Gajeel made a nervous sound, not a laugh or a sigh, but conveying some uncomfortable memory all the same.
"I think… you would have left," Gajeel said slowly, "When you came into yer magic? You would have picked up work at a cigarette shop and saved enough money to get a ticket to the capital… and you would have left."
"I wouldn't have joined Phantom?"
"No… no, you'd say yer too good for it," Gajeel nodded, seemingly deciding something, "And you would have talked about how good it would be when you made it, and how you'd send us word when you did."
"Did that ever happen?" Laxus asked.
Gajeel shrugged, "Wouldn't know. You don't have a mailbox when yer homeless, mîn lîeg."
"Ah, I didn't think about that…" Laxus said good naturedly, "Guess I'd just be the one that got away, then."
"And you? Gramps sent you off to school?" Gajeel asked, an easy smile on his face as he wove the flexible branches in his hands together.
"Yeah... you would have been in my class, probably."
"I'm two years your senior," he said with a toothy grin.
"Well, Magnolia isn't exactly known for its schools," Laxus chuckled, "They would have tested you, and grouped us by merit. So long as you knew how to read, we would have been together."
"Oh? So, I could draw tattoos on your arm while I ignored your teacher?" Gajeel smiled wistfully, shot him a devilish look, "Think I'd impress you by gettin' inta a fight in the schoolyard?"
"Of course," he lied, smiling as well, "and I could triple-dog-dare you to climb the tree out by the fence and laugh when you fell in the river."
"I'd drag you in with me," Gajeel said, "Get us both in trouble."
"Yeah..." Laxus hummed warmly, "Kid shit."
"I wish I'd been a kid with you," Gajeel said quietly, though it wasn't sad or somber. His eyes had turned back to his hands and the work they were doing, "I'd probably do something real stupid... Sneak to your window at night, talk real slow while you dozed inside until Makarov chased me off."
"You think so?" Laxus said, daring to reach out and pluck a strand of his dark hair from the side of his face to tuck behind his ear, "Disregard my innocence and tell me all the scandalous things you've done? The trail of broken hearts you've left?"
"Only if I thought it would impress you. Gotta hang onto that bad boy persona." Gajeel said with a roguish raise of his brows, "Think I'd give Makarov a heart attack if I was bummin' around you at sixteen? Bet he'd try to keep me from you."
"No," Laxus said with a laugh, "But we can pretend if you want."
"I'd climb up the trellis to your balcony in the middle of the night," Gajeel asked, "Sing you sweet poetry at midnight and run when I see the lights come on."
"You want us to be star-crossed lovers? A regular Romeo and Juliet. You did enjoy West Side Story, didn't you?"
"I always did like the songs Metalicana sang about doomed lovers. The tragedy of it all..." Gajeel laughed a little bit as he curled the ends together, "How romantic."
"So long as we're not doomed in this version of our story," Laxus said, suddenly much less playful.
"Even if we are..." Gajeel said quietly, reaching over to hold Laxus's wrist gently, "I'll fight my way through hell to get back to you. Even a grave can't keep me away."
His eyes flashed up to Laxus, meeting his for only a second before he slipped the circlet he'd made over his hand. Rosemary, Laxus realized. A symbol of love, evergreen and undying. He was reminded again how much of a hopeless romantic Gajeel was.
Something thrummed between them, an energy that was quickly forming a life of its own the more they poured into it. Laxus felt it in each indelible beat of his heart. The cords that entangled them together were growing ever stronger. How was it that Gajeel spun this side of him out so easily?
"I'll kill god for you," Laxus breathed as Gajeel kissed his ring, feeling all the more like some sort of king when Gajeel looked up at him adoringly, "As long as you return to me, I don't care how long it takes."
"You'll wait?" Gajeel asked, the tiniest of smiles on his face.
"I'll wait..." Laxus promised, "But Gajeel, don't make me wait too long. Who knows what I could do if you're not there to stop me."
Serrill was in the middle of a story about his childhood when Davian felt... something. A pulse, as sudden and intense as the line that snares the fish on the hook, one harsh burst and then it was still again. He would have dismissed it if it weren't for the proximity. It snapped him to attention, and he cast his eyes about to until they fell to the only other bodies in his eyesight. He shot out his hand and stopped Serrill, who gasped mid-sentence in surprise at his sudden movement. He gave him a questioning look, which melted into slight annoyance when he saw what he was looking at.
Gajeel slipped the bracelet over Laxus's wrist, and Davian's eyes widened. The shadows around Laxus... weren't right. Davian felt a swell of energy. The sweet gesture held a double meaning that he felt ripple the aether in the exact way as the beacon he'd witnessed the night the Lamia had also been alarmed. Something was being manifested into reality, though he didn't know exactly what. He didn't eavesdrop, so he didn't know what was said, but Davian knew devotion when he saw it. It rattled him deeply, especially when the light around Laxus shifted ever slightly.
"Seeing them be lovey-dovey is so weird, isn't it?" Serrill said, "It's like watching tigers be sweet to each other... which, I guess isn't crazy-"
"Laxus is glowing," Davian said.
"...ok...?" Serrill said, not following what he was saying in the slightest, "I think most people would...?"
"No, he's glowing." Davian hissed, "Look at him."
"Right... like... he's happy?"
Davian snapped his head towards him, eyes wide with disbelief, "He is producing light, Keirin."
"Eh?" Serrill laughed nervously, "N-no...?"
"How do you not see it? He's glowing. Faintly, I'll admit, but-"
"I think maybe it's just the light?" Serrill offered with a shrug, "The sunlight through the trees or something? It's not... I mean... people don't typically glow."
"No, they don't." Davian said, "So you understand my alarm."
Serrill looked at them again, now quite a distance away as they had continued on without noticing the two falling behind. He slowly shook his head.
"I don't see it."
"Of course, yes." Davian dismissed, not able to stop an agitated hiss and flick of his tongue, "Perhaps I'm just seeing things."
Gajeel was trying to hide his pensive frown, but it was difficult when Laxus was clearly so nervous. And by clearly, of course that meant easily unnoticed by their two companions. He'd gone more and more quiet the closer they'd come to the top of the mountain, playing at just being tired of their hike in a lame attempt at easing Gajeel's suspicions. His cold demeanor didn't deter Davian or Serrill who had gone the last ten minutes asking questions about what to expect as they stood in the clearing where just a few nights ago Gajeel had pointed out stars and shared their stories.
How far away should they stand? If Mirajane and Levy didn't see the dragon, would they? Would Davian understand Draconic when he heard it? Were there any provisions they should make before they attempted this? Laxus answered them as best he could. They should probably stay close to the tree line. He didn't know. Probably. Gajeel should put some pillars around him, just in case. Each answer, Davian seemed to mark off something on his mental checklist and Serrill's sharp wit would spirit them on to some new thought neither of them had had yet, nodding his head affirmatively with each concern addressed. Only Gajeel noticed how Laxus's eyes dodged to the side when he considered their questions, how he kept his hands in his pockets, the casual way he touched his scar as if brushing some invisible strand of hair away. Each clench and unclench of his jaw when he couldn't immediately answer.
"You two are makin' this feel like an interrogation," Gajeel groused, drawing their attention away from the blonde.
"It's fine," Laxus said flatly, but Gajeel wasn't having it.
"We've done what can be done," Gajeel replied, pushing them away.
"Gajeel..." Serrill frowned, anxiety all but written across his face, "With the kind of power we're dealing with? We need to do everything we can not to get fried alive."
The vein on the side of Laxus's neck jumped where he clenched his jaw again. He didn't exactly wince, but he still did as if Serrill had just drawn his sabre with the intent to strike him. Gajeel tossed back his head, agitated. All his work to get Laxus to embrace his insane strength and here Serrill was ruining it with one sentence. He wouldn't allow it.
"If yer that concerned, Lieutenant, maybe it's best we not," Gajeel said, not hiding his venom when calling him by his command.
"We have to give it a try, Gajeel," he objected but Gajeel waved him off.
"Let's all just take a minute to remember that this dragon is from before the dragon civil war, when they started pickin' sides on whether or not humans should be taught dragon slaying magic," Gajeel said, making him quiet with consideration, "Who's to say it's in the mind to help us? That's even assumin' it can."
"Why wouldn't it?" Davian frowned, "I thought you said it knew your father? His stance is relatively clear on the matter."
"My dad only did it because he was loyal to Igneel, who was King of the Fire Dragons, and even Igneel had many followers who hated him for his choice," Gajeel said, "It was called a civil war for a reason. My dad fought and killed friends to defend what he thought was right. Chances are that dragon isn't among the few that sided with them."
"Clearly, you don't think we should do this," Laxus said, his tone biting and annoyed.
"That ain't what I said."
"But it's what you mean," Laxus replied, a scowl darkening his face.
"Don't put words in my mouth, fairy," Gajeel frowned, trying not to get angry, "I'm just bein' practical. All that aside? We know how the lacrima was made, don't we? The dragon was put through more pain than we can think of and then killed. Even if it speaks, we don't know if it can. If it'll have a mind to speak with."
"You just don't want me to do this because you think I might get hurt," Laxus accused, poking at their old argument.
"Might? Will." Gajeel replied sharply.
"It hurt my eye at the guild, but that was all. Obviously, it didn't do any real damage."
"Because it was quick," Gajeel curled his lip, "But the longer you're connected to it, you don't know what will happen."
"You can't expect me to sit here and do nothing, Gajeel." Laxus snapped, "Unless you want to get your heart ripped out on an altar?"
He gritted his teeth, not rising to the blow. He knew it was all because Laxus was nervous. He took a breath and buried his pride, watching shame flash in Laxus's eyes for just an instant before it was whisked away, out of sight.
"Swête weder... I don't have a say in what you do with your body. I just want you to understand you're taking a gamble, and the odds aren't in your favor," he said pleasingly, his voice as sweet as the unblown seeds of the dandelions at their feet, "I'll help you, if you want me to. I just want us all on the same page. You might lose your eye for nothing. Or, you might be fine. We don't know. I just want you to know I won't fault you for reconsidering. And I won't think you're a coward, either."
Laxus watched him steadily, his eyes dodging to each of his as his anger melted and turned into something much more level-headed, "Well, I'm not changing my mind, so… help me, then."
A massive magic circle sprung to life below them as Gajeel concentrated his power. Laxus's eyes flitted upwards, following wide pillars that dragged themselves out of the ground and headed skyward. Serrill gasped at suddenly being surrounded by a forest of iron, and all four of them stilled. Gajeel eyed the way Laxus placed a hand to one of them, frowning once again.
"You've been grounded, Sparky," Gajeel smirked, knowing immediately what was on his mind.
"This is dangerous, Gajeel," he said quietly, "I can't control it."
Here they were again in the same ruts carved out by tired arguments, going around and around. He would lick the cobwebs off his rebuttal if the dust had even settled over the last time they'd had this conversation. Oh well. As always, he hefted his defense, his nonchalance, his cavalier reply.
"Some things ain't about control."
"Maybe you should stand back with them by the trees."
"And leave you out here to talk to yer dragon alone?" Gajeel chuckled lightly, "You learn Draconic while my back was turned?"
"And I'm not allowed to feel bad when you get hurt during this?" he charged, quiet anger seeping back into his voice.
"I'm the one who decided to chase after lightning. Gettin' shocked is bound ta happen," he said, smiling wide, "You'd say it was my own fault if I tried reasoning with a wildfire and got burned, wouldn't you?"
That made him pause, "I'm not a mindless wildfire."
"Let's just focus on you not losin' your eye, hm?" Gajeel hummed, "I can take a hit, but how many ladies across Fiore would be devastated if we accidentally marked up your pretty face?"
"I have a lightning bolt scar across my eye," Laxus replied, trying to sound serious and failing miserably, "It's hardly pretty."
"You've never had more of a wrong opinion in yer life, mîn yst," Gajeel said, shooing Davian and Serrill towards the tree line, "It is real on the nose, though, ain't it? D'you think Ivan planned that?"
"I wouldn't know," Laxus replied flatly.
"Did Master Makarov never tell him not to test the depth of a river by jumping in with both feet?"
A smile broke across his face, and that was exactly what Gajeel was after, so he considered it a victory even if the blonde was still clearly nervous.
"You've met Ivan. Did he seem like the type to listen to Gramps' wisdoms?"
"S'pose not." he allowed and stepped back from him, well outside the ring of iron pillars.
He took a moment to fortify himself, to remember what it was like to stand before a dragon. He didn't know if this would be the same or not, but he could only assume, and he didn't want to be knocked onto his knees when that kind of power was unleashed. He took a breath, and shored up his resolve… and locked his legs.
"Alright, Sparky, I'm ready when you are."
Laxus crossed his arms underneath the protective warmth of his jacket. His spine straightened. His stance wide and strong, like a man standing on a precipice and looking down at the ants below, so naturally imperious it was a sin and holding power the same way a blacksmith holds a hammer. Blistering color sparked beside his face, growing in intensity until it twined together as roses with rue, and lifting off of him in brilliant branches of searing light. Magic swelled and turned the air thick and biting, rising up from nowhere the call and force of a storm. Gajeel watched him and wondered if he'd ever get tired of witnessing this, his love's power unfolding like the massive wings of a stork. While Serrill and Davian cowered, he was struck with awe, memorizing the way the wind pulled the fabric from his form and making him appear as weightless as a wraith in deep water.
Goddamn, he loved him so much.
Laxus's magic took an unfamiliar edge that made Gajeel's muscles tense. The yellow color of saffron engulfed his eyes as his magical energy pitched higher in a maddened rush, and arched like a giant's bow before a blistering crack of thunder. There was an explosive burst of power, a sound like a tempestuous sea throwing itself against the cliff side. Lightning surged through the atmosphere around him in blistering fingers that clawed at his skin. Gajeel was forced to dig lances deep into the dirt to brace himself and keep from being thrown by fetid wind that chewed through air and ground. How silly it was for him to think he was prepared.
Gajeel shook, transported back in time. He was a child again, lost in a forest of trees that brushed the sky. The weight of a massive presence fell on him, a shadow immeasurable and yet somehow not there at all, having the effect of a black wallcloud preceding the calamity which blots out the sun. He lifted his eyes, nearly unable to comprehend what he was bearing witness to, struggling to trace the outline of unbridled power. Two wings opened like thunder splitting midnight. The trees bowed out and away from them and Gajeel heard the screaming of roots pulling free from ground as giants toppled over. Light flashed as a body came into existence, funneling magic and power into a hurricane around them. A bolt of shuddering lightning stripped bark from a tree and ricocheted off iron pillars, blinding Gajeel so he was forced to duck and grimace. A roar broke over the mountain, making the sky and ground tremble as one.
It was a dragon made of pure magical energy, and when it threw back its head and screamed into the midday, Gajeel felt his heart shatter in his chest. It was a strangled cry of pain, the kind that whites out thought and leaves one shivering on hands and knees in the wake of it. Burning, mind-numbing agony.
Gajeel clenched his fists, and tried his best to steady himself and find his voice, "Who are you?"
The dragon offered no response, just arced its magnificent neck back and thrashed. Its tail disappeared through trunks the size of houses and reappeared out the other side, an element barely holding itself together, unleashed from the lacrima. Where it touched, lightning spindled up the trees and rocketed into the heavens, setting dry leaves ablaze and scorching the ground, the air, the sky. Gajeel tried again.
"I want to help you!" he yelled into the building storm, "Tell me who you are! Please!"
The dragon roared, its maw opened wide with jagged teeth that glinted in the day. A voice twisted in thunder that nearly drove Gajeel to his knees. He remembered the first time he'd heard his dad speak, the child, once unafraid suddenly falling to the ground. Some things are terrible no matter how well you know them, even if you grow to love them.
"Thank you…" Gajeel breathed, tears beginning to streak down his face. He flinched at lightning that glanced off silver pillars and barely missed him. For a moment, terror gripped him and he couldn't move. This was no ordinary dragon. The name… he knew the name spoken. Tordenrykē, a name meant to capture the sound of rolling thunder. A king among dragons, just like Igneel.
"Who did this to you?" Gajeel screamed, "What happened?"
The sky broke with thunder and he heard Laxus scream. He didn't dare look at him, because he knew he'd fall apart as soon as he did. He'd break for him and get them both killed. The dragon didn't respond, but thrashed once more in the throws of its blind anguish. When it screamed, Laxus screamed, and Gajeel's resolve began rapidly to melt.
He dared a step closer, craning back his neck to glimpse the dragon's magnificent horns.
"Please! I just want to help you, but you have to tell me what happened! Why did they do this to you?"
Thunder rolled over him like a tidal wave and he was almost swept away. He growled as he dug his iron deeper, twisted it into ground to keep him from being blown away. In the back of his mind, he worried for Davian and Serrill. These winds could sweep them off the mountain. This time, when the dragon screamed, Laxus's voice pierced the sky in tandem with it. Gajeel's heart squeezed up into his throat.
"Metalicana! I beg thee save me!" their voices swelled upwards like a cursed sanctus rising from the choir of a cathedral, musical in a haunting way, and horrifying, "Metalicana! Save me from brother Death!"
Gajeel buckled, falling to the dirt as lightning rived against his skin. He took a shaking hand to his eyes and brushed away tears.
"He's not coming... he's gone. He's gone!" Gajeel yelled back up to it.
"I did not mean to catch Death's eye! It burns! Metalicana! It burns!"
How do you speak to one trapped in these kinds of chains? The fear, the pain, it was palpable enough that it knocked the wind from him when the dragon and Laxus screamed again. He dared to look at him, his love, and panic made him fist his hands into the dirt.
It looks like his veins had turned into white light, etching macabre patterns across his face, down his throat. He stood with his hands out reaching as if he were reaching for him, and the tears that streaked down his face were like burning, yellow ichor. Gajeel could see scales. There were talons on his hands. He was transforming, and for the life of him, he didn't know what that meant. He needed to hurry.
"My wings they have taken! It burns! Metalicana! They burn me!"
"Tordenrykē! Listen to me! Metalicana isn't coming..." Gajeel called, trying and failing to stand, "You have to tell us why they did this to you! Please! We want to help you..."
"It's for you I beg my life! Metalicana! For you I beg my life!"
Another scream. It wound its way higher and higher until Gajeel's head was nearly splitting with the sound of it. The percussion of thunder was so heavy that Gajeel curled into a ball in the wake of it, terrified of the sky falling down on him. Pain seared down the length of him and his body spasmed. He'd been glanced by lightning, and it was nearly enough to send him unconscious. The sound of the world ending didn't fade, but took on a cadence. Words. Gajeel could make out words...
"The longest night, oh blackest night, on which fair father dies
And slips into the underworld, yet horrid fate denies
Our father Sun, he thwarts the end, go not unto that night
For as Sun banish'd end of day, he clings to fairest life
So swiftly through the underworld, he crawls through spite and spine
Denying specters of the end, yon souls who beg respite
Through fallow fields Elysium, where rampant run the good
Through river Styx of banefire grim, where evil souls inure
With wit and guile our father Sun didst trespass devils fae
And charm and lust enrapture he himself to god Decay
Onward still that brightest light, with light grown frail with chill
Until at last his soul was borne to Death himself's bastille
Beseechéd he our dying light, "Oh, Death pray no delay
For missing light from father, I, the earth itself to pay
Death surely you desire my end, for every soul to you
Must come at last without my light by eternal winter, slew
Still I beg against your dark, free me from thine cage
For bereft without my precious light, my lover, Moon, enraged
Eternal dark a curse to him as well as mortal kind
The moon companion to you, Death, belov'd of thee and mine
It's for the Moon I beg my life and to the earth as well
But should you mercy to refuse, I'll fight you in this hell."
And Death did ponder father Sun on throne in prison grim
The words of fear and wit and love, fair Sun's final hymn
"Begone from me proclaim'd dark Death, I grant you not your life
But only promise running start ahead my reaping scythe."
And cunning Sun, who knew his chance swiftly did take flight
From darkest night to fairer skies to tell his Moon his plight
"Oh, dearest Moon, I beg thee save me from your brother Death
Who even now, chases near to claim my final breath!"
And so the Moon, who loved the Sun did strike a lofty deal
That when the nights devour the day, the come of Death's revealed
And so the Moon did chase the Sun, as seasons ebb and turn
To warn of Death's nearing hand when night, from days, did burn
So when Death pass'd on longest night he would, with dawn, arise."
He was confused. Was this supposed to mean something? It didn't explain anything about a ritual, about who had done this, about Metalicana.
"Who did this to you?" Gajeel asked, screaming into the unrelenting storm, "Why did they seal you into a lacrima?"
Again the dragon screamed, spinning its story of the sun. It didn't look at him, it didn't move towards him. Wings each longer than Pegasus' ship beat once, sending ferocious wind as solid as a wall hurtling at him. Gajeel barely kept from being torn from the ground.
"What does that mean?" Gajeel implored. "I don't understand!"
But if the dragon heard him, it made no response, just continued to scream its tale of the sun and the moon and death louder and louder, until Gajeel felt dizzy from the pain of the sound. He staggered to his feet, more crawling than walking towards Laxus to try to get him to stop. Lightning splintered off his shivering form and struck him, sending him spiraling off until he hit something. He fell to the ground, grappling at the grass to stop the mountain from swaying beneath him.
Something was wrong with his arm. He couldn't feel it as he forced it beneath him and began climbing to his feet once more. His mouth tasted like acid. His stomach threatened to dump its contents. He looked up, nearly drunk from pain, finding it hard to focus through the air warping from static. The light was breaking down Laxus's chest now, flooding veins with glowing magic. He threw his head back and screamed with the dragon, and it made Gajeel's soul shiver with paralyzing guilt.
They're screaming because you couldn't save them .
But Gajeel wasn't his father. He was here. He was right here.
He staggered to his feet, holding his arms protectively before him as he pushed into the whipping wind. His knee locked unnaturally, his body rioting from being struck so brutally with lightning. He ignored it. He ignored the burning that was blooming across his shoulder and chest. He marched deeper into the storm, feeling out into the world for the call of his magic, his iron pillars. He felt relief as he neared one, as he passed it, all the hair on his body standing on end at the concentration of magic that threatened to smother him.
"Laxus...!" he cried out, knowing full well the blonde couldn't hear him. He could barely hear himself, "You need to wind it down! Pull the magic back in!"
"It burns!" they screamed, "Metalicana! He chases near to claim my final breath! It burns!"
Gajeel reached for him, ignoring the pain like fire slicing up his arms, across his chest, his ribs, down his legs. Flickering, snapping pain danced across his palms as he grabbed hold of Laxus's hands. Electricity numbed his fingers to the velvet smooth of scales breaking across pale flesh. He whisked his hands up Laxus's arms, touching him like he'd break into pieces if he weren't careful, and dismayed at the searing heat that fell off of him.
"Laxus... pull it back in..." he said, cupping the sides of his face, "You need to stop this, somehow…"
"I pray thee save me!"
Gajeel screwed his eyes shut and blindly reached outside of himself with his magic, searching for traces of Laxus in the tempest howling around them. He'd feel him fleetingly before he was spirited away again, dragged into the thrall of the dragon manifested around them. It was like trying to catch a kite string in a tornado, and Gajeel quickly grew angry with his inability to reach him, called to something deeper, much more primal.
He summoned iron claws and clutched Laxus's arms, breaking skin and tasting the iron laced in his blood. He followed the trail, spreading his magic through blisteringly hot veins, and dredging to the surface magic they had mixed. Yellow lightning tainted with the color green and the sharp scent of iron. Gajeel felt the ties that bound them, hooks that had sunk deep and threaded into bone, gripped them tightly in his mind's eye, and dragged the faraway call of Laxus's magic back to him.
The burning color of his eyes dulled, his gaze distant before snapping to focus on Gajeel. He watched the procession of emotion across his face, confusion, worry, and then terror. He snapped his hands forward and pulled Gajeel close, sheltering him in his arms as another vicious spiral of lightning fell across them. Talons dug into his back. Concentrated magic rapidly began to vanish, disappearing in the open gravity centered in his eye.
The dragon screamed once more in agony a desperate plea to be saved before suddenly snapping out of existence. Silence fell like a salve on an open wound, broken only by the two of them gasping. Or, maybe, there was another sound. Gajeel's ears were ringing… and also, Laxus's lips were moving. He couldn't really understand what he was saying, though. Or at all.
He was moving him, speaking frantically, his hands fumbling up his still numbed arm. Untucking his shirt and dragging it free, though for the life of him Gajeel didn't know why… that was, until the adrenaline began to fade and he realized his arm wasn't numb at all, but burning.
"Oh… shit…" Gajeel hummed, looking down at burned skin patterned like a fern across his chest, his shoulder, and down his arm. The sickly-sweet smell of burned flesh made his stomach twist, "Ouch."
"You absolute fucking madman!" Serrill said, eyes wild as he helped Laxus get his shirt off of him, "Do you have a death wish?!"
"Are you alright?" Gajeel asked, deaf to his comment. He brushed gently at Laxus's face, inspecting him, "Y-Your eye?"
"My eye?" Laxus said, his voice shivering like a beast trapped behind the cage of his teeth, "Gajeel…"
"You were screaming," Gajeel replied dumbly, a tear chasing free. His core was starting to quake, tremors wracking him like he was hypothermic, "You-you said it burned."
"I don't… remember…" he said shakily, pressing a palm to his eye to stem a flare of pain. His eye, relatively unharmed aside from being bloodshot and brimming with tears as they ran across every piece of him he could see, "It dragged me in… I'm so sorry, Gajeel…"
"T's'fine, f-fine…" the pain was growing. He couldn't concentrate, "I cut you. I c-couldn't think… how to bring you back…"
Laxus's lips pulled into a worried line. He grabbed hold of Gajeel's hands when he tried to reach for him again, to look at the damage he had done. He could still smell blood. He was worried he'd hurt him. His love, his mate, screaming… screaming to be saved…
"Found it," Davian said, pulling free their pouch of Vitalis Powder, "Are all the wounds superficial?"
Gajeel's legs were beginning to tremble as well. He looked down at second-degree burns turning livid and red everywhere. Why were they fussing over him so much? Gajeel didn't understand. It wasn't that bad. He'd been through worse.
"Y-you're alright, aren't you?" Gajeel asked, "It-t doesn't burn anymore?"
"Gajeel, please, worry about yourself…" he objected, but when another tear fell free his worry flushed with panic, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I promise. It throbs a little, that's all."
"What about his legs?" Serrill said, "I don't see blood."
"How bad are you hurting?" Laxus asked, his voice barely holding down yellow panic, "Fuck, I'm so sorry. Where are you hurt?"
"I've l-lived through worse," he said, shaking Serrill off of him. The motion felt like his bones had just lit up in fire, his joints throbbing. His eyes snapped wide and he stumbled, "Oh."
Laxus caught him, holding him steadily, "What happens if they're not superficial?"
"I know nothing of Vitalis Powder," Davian confessed, "Aside that it's illegal."
"You were scr-screaming…" Gajeel recalled, "You weren't in pain? You said they were burning you…"
"Gajeel, I'm fine," he said again, his voice breaking, "You're the one we're worried about…"
"You were screaming…" Gajeel said, breaking down. Everything hurt, and the adrenaline had vanished, leaving him empty and shaking uncontrollably. He'd never seen Laxus like that before. He looked like he was in pain, begging to be saved, to not be left to die in the most agonizing way imaginable. "I wouldn't l-leave you like that, I promise. I'd n-never abandon you. Laxus, I wouldn't let you die-"
"Gajeel…" Laxus breathed, looking stricken. His eyes dodged towards Davian and Serrill, "I think he's in shock."
"My dad d-didn't make it. H-he tried! But he couldn't find him. It wasn't supposed to happen…"
"Calm down, calm down…" Laxus spoke lowly, timidly, "Please take the Vitalis Powder. Heal for me, and we'll talk-"
"It wasn't supposed to happen. I-it was in so much pain. S-so much… he didn't make it…"
Laxus brushed his thumb against his lips and Gajeel tasted something bitter, but he could hardly see through his tears at that point. Wounds mended, burning almost worse than being struck by lightning, and his knees buckled completely. Laxus held him, muttering against his hair things Gajeel couldn't process.
"…camp here for tonight. I don't think we can carry him all the way back…"
"I'm sorry…" Gajeel wept, clutching Laxus's shirt, smelling the sweet scent of him pressed against his cheek. The iron tang of blood, and yet it was so him, he couldn't stand it, craved the taste on his tongue, "I wouldn't… I'd never… I won't give up like he did… s-so much pain… he's in s-so much p-pain…"
"…get him some rest. We can figure things out in the morning…"
"I'm sorry…" Gajeel hiccupped, but his vision was getting hazy. The damage must have been worse than he thought if the Vitalis Powder was making him fall asleep already. A hand slipped under his knees, hefting him off the ground. "I'm s-sorry… he tried… I'm so sorry… he didn't d-deserve it, but he died anyway. He died. A dragon… a dragon c-couldn't stop it…"
"Sleep, Master Dragon," Davian said, placing his hand on Gajeel's arm, "You need to sleep."
"I didn't mean to catch Death's eye…" Gajeel breathed, falling asleep despite how he didn't want to. He could hear Laxus's heart pounding, smell his blood. He wanted the taste in his mouth. He craved it, the iron, the signature that was only his, that he could scent anywhere, recognize like a fingerprint, "I didn't mean to catch Death's eye… for you… it's for you I beg my life… yet horrid fate denies…"
He heard Laxus's sharp intake of breath, but he felt dizzy and darkness had crowded his sight. Trapped between reality and dream, he could only cling to the light trapped inside a body he couldn't see. The light that glowed brighter the more he poured into it, like frantic breaths to the beginnings of a bonfire.
"When the nights devour the day… on longest night he would, with dawn, arise."
Gajeel was struck by lightning.
Tordenrykē bent his neck and opened his jaws. He was screaming as he fell from the sky. Lightning bent the sky around him like ripples breaking the glass surface of a crystal lake. A dark shape flew after him, reaching. A giant mouth opened and swallowed him whole. Gajeel heard his father screaming. Red eyes cried acid rain and metal tore a stone city apart. Blood colored flagstones in shards of crimson.
The witch was leaning against his chest, her crimson hair a corkscrew curtain over her shoulder. Her skin was so white it glowed in the dark. Everywhere she touched, she smudged black against the sky. An open mouth. A sigh. Eyes filled with smoke and mist. Everywhere she touched him, she turned him black against the sky. The stars around them were a trail of shattered glass across the sky.
"You have an annihilating will in you. The more you know, the more influence you have."
The sun was falling from the sky. Gajeel watched it, rippling the waters of the sky like a boat on a crystal lake. It was blood red and screaming and falling. Slowly, touching the earth, fire spilled down a hillside like water. It was yellow and glowed like ichor, like the veins in Laxus's skin when he screamed. It glowed and bled and the world burned red and yellow. The mages were burning Oros's children. A massive mouth swallowed the sun.
A feathered snake slithered down the steps of the temple. The sun and the moon were on a scale, both sides equal. The sun fell under the hillside. The serpent ate its tail.
The moon dies to save the sun. The moon dies to save the sun. The moon dies to save the sun. The moon dies to save the sun. Sing up the sun.
Gajeel was struck by lightning.
Gajeel was standing before his father and the moon was resting on his shoulders. His father was the dark shadow crescent on the shining silver face. He'd never seen a dragon before. He was a child and he'd never heard a god speak.
"Do not fear me, little one. I will make you like me. I will make you my son. You are the pulse of the mountain."
He handed him a piece of the silver moon and Gajeel ate it.
The moon knows death. It grows and shrinks, gifted life from the brilliant sun. The moon cannot shine without the sun's light, but the sun can stand alone. The darkest night isn't the darkest without the sun, it is the darkest without the moon. The world cannot survive the eternal night. The world cannot survive a hunger this consuming. The world cannot survive the end. The world needs the sun. The moon dies to save the sun.
Metalicana was singing by the river, the deep tones of his voice strummed the atmosphere like the metallic strings of a guitar. The sun was falling, red and silent. It spilled yellow over the mountains. He told him the story of the thief and the moon.
Quiet as fear in dark wilderness, the thief whispered to the moon, "I will put an end to your light shed on this darkened world. All the wealth in the world shall be mine without a means of defense in the blindness I instill. For the thief's only loyalties in life are to the devil and himself."
Like the demon in its stygian cage, the moon raged a curse to the thief, "You know not what you seek when you doom all with the absence of my light. The earth will rise up to consume all that you are. Thunderous storms will call forth rage from distant skies. In death, there will be no grave or tomb to remember your name. Your greed brings your end and there is none but yourself to blame."
Metalicana was flying over the mountains, telling him the story of the thief and the moon. The dragons were almost their own gods. There is a difference between worship and fear. He was tired of being feared.
"You will be more than what I am, little pulse of the mountain," Metalicana said, "What a nasty look you have in your eyes."
Red eyes gazed down on him. Red eyes and a red sun. Yellow fell over his wings like liquid fire. The sun was falling, rippling the waters of the sky like a boat on a crystal lake. Metalicana cried tears of acid rain.
"I worry I have doomed you, little pulse of the mountain. I would never wish this pain on you, my son. Forgive me, my little heart, I have doomed you. Oh, what a nasty look you have in your eyes."
Gajeel was struck by lightning.
He was floating on a crystal lake, rippling the waters. The sun was screaming as it fell on a golden knife. The darkest night. The longest night. The darkest night isn't the darkest without the sun, it is the darkest without the moon. The moon knows death. It grows and shrinks, gifted life from the brilliant sun. The moon dies every cycle and the sun gives it life again. The moon knows death. The darkest night isn't the darkest without the sun, it is the darkest without the moon.
Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun.
Laxus was standing on top of a mountain. The light of the sun haloed his frame. He smiled, shining like some incarnation of Apollo. Gajeel had a ring in his hand, a gift to the object of his desire.
"You were right, it's beautiful up here."
Laxus was sitting on a throne. The light of the sun haloed around his golden hair, haloed around the golden throne. He was the incarnation of Apollo on the mountain. His eyes were yellow fire like the veins in his skin. There was sunlight trapped behind his teeth and he smiled and presented his hand.
"I'll wait."
Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun. Sing up the sun-
"Even the grave couldn't keep me away."
Gajeel was on his knees on a blanket of night. The stars below him were a trail of shattered glass across the sky. His teeth were silver and he had eaten a piece of the moon. Blood colored flagstones in shards of crimson. He kissed his ring and came back to life.
He awoke with a start. The white disk of the moon was so bright it outshone the stars around it, approaching its fullness. Had it been three weeks already?
"Hey…" Laxus's warm voice greeted him as he sat up, "Take it easy, love."
He saw motion in his periphery and flinched on instinct. Laxus froze, his hand poised to touch him. He slowly dropped it onto his lap, trying to hide the tight set of his eyes, schooling a frown. He was sitting cross-legged at his side, reminding him of a time he'd broken his ribs running from Custody Enforcement. Laxus had watched over him then, too. Who knew how long he'd been there making sure he was alright.
It was clearly deep into the night. Serrill was asleep, curled up under a blanket on a modest bedroll. Davian was hunched over his knees, asleep with his head resting atop his arms like a child. His feathers fanned out around him, looking like some feathered hedgehog curled into a shimmery blue ball. And here he was beginning to think chameleons didn't sleep… apparently, they just slept weird as hell. Figures.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine." Gajeel lied, and then thought better of it, "Kinda shaken up, I guess."
Laxus lifted his hand again, slowly, telegraphing his move purposefully, "Can I touch you? Please?"
"Oh, fairy…" Gajeel breathed through a pang of guilt, "I didn't… just surprised was all… y-yes. Please."
Gajeel watched his fingers trail down his skin, pale in the darkness, cut only by the dark band of his ring, slipping in gentle quiet down his shoulder, his chest, his stomach, resting on his thigh. He clenched and unclenched his jaw.
"You worried me," Laxus whispered.
"When do I not?" Gajeel asked, and Laxus's frown deepened, "I had a wild dream."
"Yeah?"
"All this talk of suns and moons, gods and dragons... I think it's gettin' to me."
His confession was a whisper, because he was sure to keep his voice low for their sleeping companions. It was supposed to be light-hearted, possibly followed by a chuckle, but it came out haggard. Laxus sighed deeply, his hand coming to his face on impulse before he realized what he was doing and froze just inches from his scar. Gajeel reached forward and finished his impulse, running his thumb down his the harsh ridges of his scar to his cheek.
"Why so anxious, swête weder?"
Laxus didn't meet his eyes, "Swête weder... what does that mean?"
"Literally, or...?" he tried to catch his gaze, but he refused to look at him, "It translates to sweet storm. But, in this context, it would be sweet heart of the storm. A term of endearment... like darlin'."
"And luz is sunlight?" Laxus said.
"L iterally. Figuratively, heart of the sun." Gajeel said, "The dragons liked speaking in ways of emotion. How the object made you feel mattered."
" Mîn yst?"
"Uh... it means storm but it's a little more specific to thunder. Mîn is just possessive. Just another way of sayin' my heart of the thunder. And, uh, lîeg is lightning…"
"You come up with those?" he asked, reaching for him again, checking again his shoulder, his chest, the worry lines on his brow deepening.
"No. Dragons have terms based on their elements. Fire dragons had their own, metallic dragons. Wendy told me her dragon used to call her lyt bræz, little heart of gentle wind."
"What do I call you?" Laxus asked.
"It's kind of clumsy..."
Laxus cocked his head to the side, waiting.
"Mun hyge... means heart of the mountain," Gajeel said, stopping before him, "Or mun ædr, pulse of the mountain."
"Mun ædr..." he hummed, gazing at him softly.
He held his hand aloft and Gajeel rested his in his grasp. He brought his knuckles to his lips. When his eyes rose back up to meet his own, Gajeel felt his heart drop.
"I hurt you again."
"The dragon hurt me, mîn luz."
Laxus snarled, his temper flaring. He turned his head from him, glaring into the dirt.
"You fucking idiot. Why are you so dismissive of your pain?"
"I'm the one who decided to chase lightning."
"You were hit with a bolt of lightning stronger than my Heavenward Halberd. Davian and Serrill were both sure you couldn't have survived. And not only that, when you should have run the other direction, you walked deeper into the storm to get to me."
"How could I not? You were hurting." His throat closed, the sharp edge of the memory still painful.
"You almost killed yourself." Laxus hissed through his teeth.
"Almost ain't dead yet." He replied, cavalier as ever.
"I can't keep doing this…" Laxus ran a shaky hand through his hair, gold eyes searching into his, "Hurting you kills me, Gajeel. Every time I get a little confident with losing control, you get hurt. And it kills me, inside. I should be the one to protect you, keep you safe…"
"You don't need to-"
"I don't want to lose you, Gajeel!"
His voice shattered the darkness. The silence left between them rang like it had its own echo. They both glanced to Davian and Serrill. Davian didn't stir at all, seeming a statue curled against the tree. Serrill rolled over and back again with a groan.
"Mm'not on patrol today…" he mumbled and buried his face into his elbow, "Report's not done yet… to Major…"
The blanket of night smothered their silence like snow. Gajeel was in no mood to let bitterness fester.
"Would you do it for me?"
"What?" Laxus asked, appalled.
"Would you do it for me?" Gajeel asked again.
Laxus didn't respond, just gave him that same frustrated, wretched look. Gajeel huffed and pushed himself to his feet. His head swam from the action, and Laxus scrambled to his side, attempting to take his arm to steady him. He snapped it away angrily, ignoring the way Laxus clenched his fists at his refusal for help. Gajeel grabbed his collar and dragged him closer. He braced like he thought Gajeel was about to hit him.
"Come on," Gajeel said tightly, and stomped off into the chilly midnight. He heard Laxus loudly on his heels, following like a dog that didn't know what else to do after being yelled at by its master. When they were some ways away from their companions, Laxus sighed loudly.
"I love you, Gajeel. I love you and so I want you to value yourself more. You can't keep throwing yourself into danger like this. One of these times you won't survive."
Gajeel gritted his teeth and didn't reply, just continued his march through the forest. Laxus continued, his tone pitching higher in a plea to get him to understand.
"You should understand this feeling. When you blacked out and tried to come after me with your knife? That's how I feel, except you can't just snap me out of it like I can you. I could kill you with a thought... it terrifies me..."
They were circling the side of the lake. He could see the mist through the trees, scent stale love not yet washed away. It hadn't rained, so not all that strange. The silver of jagged metal jutted out of the ground in a hazardous circle, dark polished spears catching the light of the moon, the petals of a wicked flower taking shape bright as the evening-star.
"Do you have no survival instinct at all?" Laxus went on wretchedly, "Nothing scares you. You're so fucking stupid that way. Just like Magnolia, goading me on when Freed and Levy's runes couldn't stop me, Bickslow's Figure Eyes. Even Mirajane couldn't stop me, and you ran towards the thunder like my magic doesn't hurt you worse than it does others. You keep saying you don't have a death wish but fuck, Gajeel-"
Gajeel turned around on his heel, stopping him in his tracks. He spoke with a sharpened edge that starts fights, and occasionally ends them.
"Insult me one more time, Laxus, and I swear to Mavis herself, I will throttle you in these woods and tell everyone you died pissing on an electric fence," he snarled lowly, flashing his teeth, "Now get on the fucking ground before I throw you there."
Laxus stood for a moment, looking ready to continue his argument before his shoulders sagged. He looked miserable and guilty and worried, and a myriad of other things Gajeel didn't particularly care about. He did, however, soften ever so slightly and extend a hand towards him, guiding him into the circle. Their magic circle, their ritual circle. When Laxus breached the runes that had burned into the soil, they immediately took on life, coloring the washed-out world with muted shades of yellow. Laxus gave him a wary glance before finally doing as he said, dropping down to sit cross-legged on the ground. Gajeel stepped up to him and slowly slipped to his knees, adoring the quiet oh that escaped his mouth when he settled astride him. He placed his hand on Laxus's chest, splaying his fingers wide.
"You and your need for control..." Gajeel muttered. He closed his eyes and felt into his love for the call of his pulse, his iron, and with the same gentleness one might hold the life of a tiny songbird in their hands, he called out to it. Green took over the circle and Laxus shivered and arched his spine. He snapped his hand up to clasp onto Gajeel's, "I'm in your marrow, your blood. I can pull it to the surface if you want, show you every hook I've dug into you, just like the lightning that's in me. Do you feel me, Laxus?"
Laxus gasped in a shivering breath, his chest beginning to heave where he tried to catch his breath, "Y-yes, I... fuck."
It was satisfying, if he were honest, do see Laxus just as overwhelmed as he had been when their roles had been reversed. Gajeel felt him shift beneath his hips, and he pushed him down into the dirt a little more forcefully than he should have. Pale hands gripped his waist, his nails digging in and leaving miniscule crescents in his skin.
"Lose control, mîn yst, and I'll drag you back down again. I'll keep you grounded," he said, and watched the dismay march across his face and make his lips quiver with a fresh objection, "We're still learning. We know sort of how to handle each other, but it's only been a year. We're not perfect yet. We'll get there."
The light around them grew, and Laxus huffed, relaxing beneath him. His head fell back into the dirt, mussing his blonde hair.
"We're gonna wake Davian up, at this rate," he muttered, letting his hands drift down to grip Gajeel's hips, his thighs.
"If he knows what's good for him, he'll mind his own," Gajeel muttered in response.
"You're insane, Gajeel," Laxus whispered, "You act like I can't tell you're worried as well, like I don't see it every time we talk about the future, or Father. I'm scared that it's not just worry... but defeat in your eyes. Is that what you're doing? Throwing yourself at things that could kill you because at least you're going out on your terms?"
"No, Laxus... I promise you, I don't want to die. It's the opposite, and it's so strange to me," Gajeel leaned over him. His hair fell over his shoulder, brushing the ground by his face. Laxus's eyes danced up the curtain of it, glossy from the cold damp of the air. His hands held him tighter, "I've never been scared to die before and now I'm terrified. But I'm just as terrified as losing you... which is stupid, I know. Everyone keeps telling me to worry about myself."
"You should worry about yourself," Laxus replied, cupping the side of his face. Gentle. Always so heartbreakingly gentle, always treating him like he was made of glass, "No one wants to rip out my heart."
Gajeel kissed his palm, and then his ring, his knuckles, his wrist. Laxus shivered beneath him, shifting beneath him again so he'd be forced to lean down further. He kissed his lips, his cheek, his forehead, as pale arms wrapped around him and drew him impossibly closer.
"I'm not as strong as a dragon, Laxus. I'm not as strong as you are... I can't fight this... this thing," he ran his nose up the line of his jaw and relished the sound of his gasp, "I don't even want to call it a god. I don't believe in gods. But I believe in you."
Laxus buried his face into the crook of his shoulder, nuzzling against his skin and hugging him even tighter. It felt like a child holding close to its favorite toy, terrified someone would steal it away.
"I'll do everything I can. I'll fight my way to you, but I can't fight this... I'm not strong enough," he kissed his temple, "But you might be. And I'll give you everything I can to give you the best chance. If anyone can save me, it's you."
"What if I'm too late?" it was a less than a whisper, so quiet Gajeel had to think to be sure he'd heard it at all. He ran his fingers through blonde hair.
"You won't be too late, fairy."
"I'm always too late, Gajeel. I was too late to save you from Bianca. I was too late to save you from Zahir. What if I'm too late to save you this time, too? What's the point of power if I can't fucking keep the person I love safe?"
"I'll find my way back to you... somehow."
Laxus turned his hips beneath him, pulling him down to lay next to him on the ground. They were facing each other, Laxus running his hands over his chest like he was feeling him one last time.
"Why would you? You've lived such a hard life..." he pressed his forehead to his, his tone bitter and sad, "And even if you came back somehow, you wouldn't remember me."
Gajeel's brow furrowed, and he entwined his legs into Laxus's, drawing him close again. The blonde wouldn't look at him, but he was shivering. The ground was cold, and so was the air. Every breath they released took shape between them and disappeared again, vapors with no real substance. Mortal. Impermanent. Fleeting.
"Metalicana told me once that love was just the mind playing an unfair trick on the heart. Like a pair of leaves pulled by the whim of the wind, their fate, much like ours, has already been decided. That even the cracks on opposite sides of a cliff could not escape a fate that was always destined to be sealed when they inevitably cross and bring down the mountain. He told me that the tides of the heart were nothing but a distraction between what was and what was fated to be."
Laxus's eyes sparkled like polished gold in the dim light, "You don't believe in fate."
"I don't." he said.
"So, then, you don't believe destiny would bring us back together, either."
"No. I wouldn't want it to," Gajeel smiled at him lovingly, "I think destiny, like the idea of doomed lovers, is romantic... desirable, even, but ultimately, it belittles what we are."
Laxus frowned, "How do you mean?"
"Destiny, soulmates, fate, they all imply we never had a choice, and I think that devalues my love for you," he brought his hands to his lips again and kissed his open palms, "I'd rather choose you, swête weder, in every life, in every universe. I'd rather choose to defy destiny so I could be with you, no matter what was fated to happen."
"Oh..." Laxus's eyes widened, and he blushed. Tears began to gather along the wet line of his eye, and he laughed nervously. He clicked his teeth, trying to hide how strangely happy that had just made him feel, "That's... really... what you think?"
"The way you're ingrained in my soul, Laxus, do you think I'd ever be able to forget that? That I could ever forget you?" Gajeel whispered against his lips, pulling their stomachs flush against each other, "The first time I realized I was falling in love with you, standing on the mountain in Edelweiss. Every day I've seen the light of the sun illuminating the split ends of your hair. How lucky I've ever felt standing in the rain with you. Each time you dropped a bucket into the well of my despair and lifted me out again. The beauty in your calamity, and how it no longer scares me. Do you think I could forget that?"
Laxus pulled him against his chest, tucked his head there. Gajeel wrapped his arms around his chest. The warmth between them thrummed, filling the interstices of their beings with magic they shared between each other.
"You deserve more than this world ever gave you..." Laxus breathed, "You say stuff like this, and it makes me feel like a dog... and it makes it even more insane to know you actually think me a god."
"I told you I wouldn't love you in a way that was good. You didn't listen."
"You told me you'd drag me down, but you've done nothing but the opposite... you keep lifting me up higher, somehow."
"I just want to be what you need," he confessed against his neck, staring off into the midnight over his shoulder and trying not to get lost in the melodrama of it all, "I want to make you untouchable, be your shield. I want to be your knife, the thing that keeps you safe. I'll be your servant or your victim, whatever you want. I'll throw away my agency and my pride, if you ask. I worship the ground you walk on, this fucked up, obsessive love I have… I'll turn you into a god, kill anyone who stands in my way to you, and spill their blood on your altar. I'll do the impossible for you… just ask me to, and I'll find a way. I'm desperate for a way to prove how much I love you that isn't just getting you off in a way you like, that isn't just sex, because that's apparently the only fucking way I know how to show love."
Laxus was silent for a while, but he wasn't still. He wasn't shocked. He was contemplative, trying to weave through their tangle. It wasn't right, was it? To enjoy these confessions? To know how much Gajeel was drowning in his love for him? Laxus breathed him in, let it change him. Felt iron and lightning in his blood.
"You're too good to me, Gajeel," he said and felt him flinch in his arms. He drew him back, put his knuckles beneath his chin and forced him to look at him. Gajeel shivered in his grasp, his eyes bowing slightly with swelling emotion, "Gods alive, look at you. Should I lean into it for you? Be your god, mun ædr?"
"Ah…" he gasped, clutching at his wrist as if Laxus were actually holding him by the throat. Gajeel felt his stomach swoop and his heart shudder. His whole body summoned by two words in Draconic.
"You're so good to me. You live for me. You changed for me. You sacrifice so much for me… shouldn't I give you something in return?" he said, leaning close, "Is that what you want, for me to make you the opposite of Icarus? Bury your potential? Give you a purpose?"
"I know it isn't… right… is it?" Gajeel swallowed hard, "But if it gets me through this, isn't it worth it?"
"I don't want to control you, Gajeel." He said.
"Even if I do it willingly?" he asked.
"What makes me different than Jose, taking your choice away? Or Ivan, who thinks I'm entitled to control you because you're a weaker mage than me?" Laxus asked, though his voice didn't waver with anxiety. It wasn't a question of worry or concern, but an asking of permission.
"Because you'd never ask me to do something against my morals… because you don't believe you're entitled to me." He said, speaking too quickly, "Because I'm doing it in love for you, not fear. Because I trust you and adore you, and you won't use that against me."
Laxus watched him steadily, his expression unreadable. He kissed him sweetly, and then again with more fervor, running his tongue across his lips to coax them open.
"You're so needy…" he spoke against his mouth, "Tell me you need me."
"I need you."
"Tell me you're obsessed with me."
"I'm obsessed with you."
"Tell me you'll come back to me, no matter what happens."
"My heart, my soul, all the best parts of me and the worst…" Gajeel gasped in a breath, shivered against him, "Everything that's left of me is yours, just as it was."
The symbols around them were alight with life of their own, breaking the darkness in a riot of color. Frantic, chaotic love. Was that all they were reduced to? But Laxus didn't take him like he'd wanted, he held him close and ran his fingers under his shirt, skin on warm skin eliciting shivers from them both as Laxus planted kisses down his throat. When Gajeel fumbled for his belt, he trapped his wrists against the ground and held him steady.
"I think I know what you really want, mun ædr." He said, releasing him to run his fingers through pitch black hair. Gajeel shook beneath him, and Laxus brought his hands up beneath his shirt, let him run them over his stomach, across his sides and back, "Intimacy isn't just one of us penetrating the other. If you want to show me you love me, Gajeel, hold me. Whenever you want, however long you need."
Fingertips dug into skin, like he couldn't get enough, couldn't pull him close enough. They lay together, holding each other, staving off the chilly night. Gajeel, for the longest time, seemed like he couldn't catch his breath. Laxus just stroked his hair, running his fingers through tangles over and over and over again.
"I'm going to build you a home, Gajeel," he said when he felt sleep beginning to creep in again, "Where do you want it? On this mountain? Or in Magnolia? Or somewhere else in Fiore you've been that you thought was beautiful?"
Gajeel nuzzled against his throat, "The clearing… in the hills behind the guild."
Laxus hummed, feeling like he probably should have known, "How many rooms do you want?"
"Laxus…" he chuckled, "I'm not an architect. It could have one for all I care. Just make sure it has a garden."
"A garden?"
"You love flowers…" Gajeel replied quietly, "I want to plant you rose bushes… and a bench for you to read my shitty poetry."
Laxus grinned against his hair, "Fine… I'll design the house… and I'll give you a garden."
"You could build me a tent and I'd be happy as long as you're there."
"I know…" Laxus whispered, "…but I'm going to give you the world when this is over, Gajeel… and it will start with a home, and then a wedding."
"And then what, mîn luz?" Gajeel hummed groggily against his throat, "What will you give me then?"
"Whatever you want," he said, "I'll give you the world, Gajeel. Just ask."
"I'm a much simpler man than you take me for," Gajeel laughed warmly, "I don't want the world, swête weder. I just want you."
"Then you'll have me." Laxus said, running his fingers through long, black hair, "Forever."