Chapter 19
Lisa woke up early. It was her first day getting back to work, and Georgie's first day taking on a bigger role at Fairfield. She was nervous about it and excited as well. Running Fairfield Stables was something that she loved and had been good at. She desperately wanted to know if she could still do it despite her memory loss. She heard Jack making coffee and decided to get up and join him. She wasn't sure coffee was the right choice for her with how nervous she already was, but it smelled so good that she couldn't resist.
Jack was pouring a cup of coffee when he heard their bedroom door open. He smiled when he saw Lisa coming toward him. Her hair was a little messy, and she looked a little tired, but like he told her yesterday, he thought she was cute. "Good morning. You're up early. Are you nervous about today?"
Lisa didn't expect Jack to know how she was feeling. "Sometimes I forget how well you know me. Yes, I am nervous. I'm excited, too, though."
"I figured. Do you want some coffee? I could make you a cup of tea if you'd rather have that instead," Jack offered.
"You know what, a cup of herbal tea sounds good," replied Lisa. I don't need coffee right now. It probably wouldn't help my nervousness."
"Sure." Jack put the kettle on the stove to boil and pulled out Lisa's mug and her favorite herbal tea.
Lisa sat down at the table and watched Jack make her tea. "So what do you have planned for today?"
Jack leaned against the counter and folded his arms. "I'm going to go do some work in the barn because I need to be around this morning when the tow company brings my truck back. I was going to check the fence line this morning, but I'll wait until later to get that done." If he was being honest, he was going to check the fence line first thing, but once Lisa got up, his plans changed. He wanted to spend time with her before she started work.
They sat and chatted while they drank their coffee and tea and enjoyed the quiet of the early morning before everyone got up to get ready for the day. Lou was the first one up. She noticed Lisa's messy hair and offered to help her get ready once they got Katie and Lyndy on the bus for school.
Lisa was starting to put together what was going on with her business. When she first started looking at everything, it was all just a jumble of emails, texts, and financial records. It didn't make much sense to her because she had no idea who the people or the horses were. While she waited for Katie and Lyndy to get off to school she spent time working on her computer and phone to get more familiar with things so that Edwin and Georgie didn't have to explain as much to her.
Jack got work done out in the barn until the tow truck came with his wrecked truck. He was busy directing them on where to put it so he didn't have time to really look at how damaged it was until they left. Once they pulled away, he stood there and just took it all in. It took his breath away, and tears began to form in his eyes. Because he was so focused on Lisa in the immediate aftermath of the accident, he hadn't noticed how truly bad the accident had been.
Amy came out of the barn after the tow truck left to check on Jack. She was shocked as well by how badly the truck was smashed in on the passenger side. She could tell that her grandfather was taking it all in, and she felt like he shouldn't be alone, so she called to him. "Grandpa…" Jack turned around to look at her with tears in his eyes. Amy went to stand next to him and put her arm around his back. "I knew it had to be bad if Lisa got that injured, but it's worse than I imagined."
Jack just stood there for a moment, trying to find the words. "I didn't realize how bad it was either. I was so focused on Lisa and making sure that she was okay right after the accident. I feel even more grateful that she is still here and still in my life. It may not be how I want her to be here, but she's here."
Amy gave Jack a hug and then went back to the barn to give him some space to deal with what he was seeing. Jack just stood there looking at his truck, feeling horrified and grateful at the same time. After several minutes, he walked to the house. When he went inside, Lisa was getting a cup of coffee. She had sat down her cup to put cream in it. Jack walked straight over to Lisa and pulled her into his arms. He just needed to hold her in that moment.
Lisa almost pulled away, but there was something in the look on Jack's face that told her to just accept the hug and to hug him back. She couldn't imagine what made Jack act so impulsively, so she just stood there rubbing his back with her good arm. After a few minutes, he pulled away slightly, and Lisa looked up at Jack. He had tears in his eyes, and Lisa was concerned about seeing Jack like that. "What's going on? Are you okay?"
Jack stepped back from Lisa and sat down at the kitchen table. "The towing company brought my truck back. It was worse than I remembered, and I was just overwhelmed with the feeling of gratefulness that you are still here. I can't imagine my life without you in it, and seeing my truck was just another reminder of how close I came to that being my reality. I know you don't love me or want to be my wife, but I don't even care about that right now. I'm just thankful that you're alive."
Lisa's throat ached from the emotions that were threatening to spill over as she spoke . "I'm glad that I'm alive too. I'm sorry that I can't be more than friends with you. I know you want that, but I'm thankful that you don't push me for more.
Jack chuckled. "I have to agree with you. You're right. I do want to be more than friends, but I'll never pressure you to be more than that if that's not what you want. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."
Lisa smiled at Jack and then went to work on her coffee. "It's going to get cold. Also, I need to pull myself together here. I'm expecting a call from Georgie in a little while, and I don't want to be an emotional mess when she calls."
"So I guess coming to look at the truck right now is out of the question, huh?"
"Yeah, it is. I just have so much work to do right now. Georgie and I have been texting and emailing all morning as we figure things out. She's doing a great job so far. I'm really impressed by her." Lisa picked up her coffee cup and went back to the bedroom to get work done while she waited on her call from Georgie.
Jack just stood in the kitchen for a while as he worked through his emotions. He eventually decided to make himself a sandwich to bring with him so that he didn't have to come back for lunch. He knocked on the door to their room and then poked his head in the room. "Hey, I made myself a sandwich to take with me while I go riding out to check fences. Do you want me to make you a sandwich before I leave?"
"No, that's okay. I can handle making a sandwich."
"Okay, call me if you need anything." Jack left the room and closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath and then sighed. This morning had been a lot harder than he expected. He was glad for the chance to get out on his horse. It helped him think.
Lisa had to put her interaction with Jack out of her mind and threw herself into her work, and found herself really enjoying it. Although the clients and horses were unfamiliar to her, the job was still very much the same as it had been 17 years before. She knew how to do this job, and it gave her something to focus on aside from her amnesia and her relationship or lack of relationship with Jack.
By the time Jack finished checking the fences he wanted to check, it was nearly dinner time. There was a Fairfield truck parked in front of the house, which told him that Georgie had come back for dinner and probably to talk to Lisa in person. He took care of his horse and then went into the house. It was bustling with activity. Lyndy was excitedly telling her mom about things that happened at school, Lou was talking to Katie about her homework while making dinner, and Georgie and Lisa were discussing things about Fairfield. It felt normal for a minute, and he almost forgot that Lisa had amnesia.
Lou looked over at Jack after he entered the kitchen. "Hi, Grandpa. How's it going? I saw the truck out there. It looks awful. I almost can't believe that Lisa survived. Has she seen it yet?"
Jack shook his head. "No, she hasn't. I offered to show her earlier, but she was busy with work, so I didn't push it. I'm gonna go clean up for dinner."
Dinner was uneventful. People talked about their days and what they had coming up. They were having to give context to the things they talked about less and less because Lisa had been learning about the family and what was going on in their lives. Jack felt like it was almost back to normal even though it really wasn't.
After dinner, Jack asked Lisa if she wanted to get outside and go for a walk. She agreed, and they walked over to the barn. As they were walking over, Jack asked how Lisa's day had gone.
Lisa's eyes lit up. "It went really well. I'm under no illusions that it will be like this every day, but it was a good first day back. Georgie did a great job of communicating with clients and figuring out what was coming up for me. I heard from clients who were very impressed by her. She talked to Edwin and to the trainers to get an idea of how training was going and to make sure they were on track to be ready for the races they have coming up. She wants Amy to come over and work with a couple of the jumpers who have been giving their trainers a little bit of trouble."
"It sounds like you accomplished a lot. I'm really happy for you. I know this was causing you a lot of stress and that you were avoiding dealing with it. I'm glad that you are also being realistic. Not every day will be great like today, but you know now that you can handle a lot of things that you were unsure of before."
Jack checked on the horses in the barn and made sure that they had water and food and that they were all settled. When they left the barn, Jack led them over to where his old truck was parked. He wasn't sure if Lisa was ready to see it, but he also thought it might trigger a memory for her since that was where she lost it.
Lisa gasped when she saw the truck. "That's your truck?" Tears were forming in her eyes as she took in the damage. It was bad, and she felt incredibly lucky to only have the injuries that she had.
Jack put his arm around Lisa and pulled her close. She didn't fight him and just rested her head on his shoulder as they stood there and looked at the truck. "I'm so glad that you are still here. I don't care if you ever get your memory back. Well, that's not entirely true, but I will take you in this state over not having you here at all. I am really grateful that I didn't lose you completely."
Lisa felt more tears coming, and despite her best efforts to stifle them, they came anyway. She leaned forward as the sobs wracked her body. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, and she was feeling many feelings all at once.
Jack saw Amy come out to the porch and waved her off as Lisa wept. She was standing up straight now and was holding onto Jack. He held her in his arms and rubbed her back while whispering, "It's okay. Just let it out. You're here. You're safe."
Lisa finally calmed down and was able to catch her breath. She had a terrible headache, but she knew that it was likely the crying that was causing that. After she calmed down, Lisa allowed Jack to lead her back to the house. They sat on the porch so that Lisa could get herself fully under control before they went back inside. Her eyes were red, and she was sniffling.
He went inside to get Lisa a box of tissues. Amy and Lou wanted to know what was going on, but Jack would only give them an overview. Lisa took the tissues from him after he brought them to her, and a fresh round of tears came. Jack just sat next to her and let her take the lead on what she wanted or needed.
Lisa was overwhelmed from what she had just seen. Seeing how smashed in the side of the truck was, she felt gratitude that she survived the accident. She began to realize that she was also grieving everything she lost because of the accident. There were 17 years of memories just gone in an instant. She had no memory of meeting and falling in love with Jack. The stories she heard were beautiful, but it was almost as if they happened to someone else and not to herself. She thought about everything she had been told about her life, the good and the bad, and she hated that she couldn't remember any of it. The sobs came back, but the more that she fought it, the harder she cried. She leaned her head on Jack's shoulder, and he put his arm around her. She couldn't get the words out to explain anything to him.
Jack hated that he couldn't do anything to fix things for Lisa at that moment. He loved her so much, and seeing her so emotional broke his heart. As she calmed down again, Jack asked, "Are you okay? Can I get you anything? Can I do anything for you?"
"Just being here is helping. I didn't realize how much that would affect me. Then I started thinking about everything that I lost by losing my memory, and it was just too much."
Once Lisa had calmed down and no longer felt like she was going to cry, they went inside. Amy and Lou were sitting on the couch talking.
"Remember when Grandpa bought that truck?" Amy asked Lou.
Lou laughed and said, "Lisa looked so disappointed."
"We all were," said Amy. "The first one he got was awesome, but it was too new, and then he got in a fight with Lisa about it. I was fighting with Ty, too. We sat in the kitchen talking about how stubborn and frustrating they were."
Lou looked up and saw Jack and Lisa coming into the living room. "Are you guys okay?"
Lisa nodded. "I'm fine. It was just hard seeing how badly the truck was damaged." She joined the girls on the couch, and Jack sat down in his chair.
"We were just talking about when Grandpa bought that truck. Lisa, the look on your face was priceless. Grandpa had bought a nice new truck, but he hated it and took it back to get that one. He was so excited about that truck, and you were so annoyed."
Jack looked surprised. "She was annoyed? She never told me that."
"Grandpa, when are you going to realize that Lisa put up with a lot from you being stuck in your old ways?" asked Lou. "She loved you so much that she put up with it in order to be with you."
"Hey, he's done things for her to make her happy," Amy retorted. "He went on that fox hunt with her, and he's traveled more with her than he ever did before."
The four of them talked for a while, but then Lisa got up to get ready for bed. Amy and Lou did, too, once Lisa went to bed.
After they went to bed, Jack settled in on the couch and started to fall asleep when he heard Lisa calling out in the bedroom. He got up to check on her, and she was still asleep. It was clear that she was having a bad dream. He rubbed her shoulder and spoke to her gently to pull her out of her sleep. As she became aware, she pulled herself into the sitting position and looked around the room. "Did you have a bad dream, Lis?
Lisa nodded. She looked out of it and like she was trying to figure out what was real and what was the dream. "I dreamt we were in an accident in that truck, but I have no idea if it's my own memories or what you told me about the accident. Either way, it was awful."
Jack stayed with her for a little while, and they talked about the dream. He couldn't figure out if it was a memory or not either as the details of the dream became less clear to her the longer she was awake. After Lisa calmed down, he got her to lie back down and tucked her in again. When he turned to leave, he heard Lisa's voice say, "Please don't leave. Can you stay with me?"
To Be Continued
Author's note: Thank you to everyone for your patience. Life has just been very busy lately. I was hoping to have more of the story done by now, but it is what it is. I worked ahead quite a bit so that I can get at least one chapter a week out for the next few weeks until things slow down a bit. I always make sure that I'm at least two chapters ahead of what I post, and I wanted to keep that up for the future chapters I'll be posting the next couple of weeks. That's why this chapter was delayed so much. It has been written for a while, but I was trying to get ahead, so if I don't have time to do any writing later, I could still get a couple of chapters out.
Thanks for all the reviews. They are much appreciated.