PANDORA, BADASS CRATER OF BADASSITUDE:
"WE WILL FEED YOUR HEARTS TO THE OWL PRINCE, HEATHENS!!" The bandit cultists opened fire, bullets pinging off of the metal desk Torgue had flipped over as cover for him and Moxxi. "THE F*K'S YOUR DEAL!?" shouted back Torgue as he fired back with a Double-Penetrating Pocket Rocket hand cannon, miniature explosive payloads flying from the gun and at the cultists, forcing some to dive out of the way, those who didn't receiving large holes blown in their chests. "This crater is the landing site of the Comet of The Owl Prince! We shall claim this holy land, summon our dark prince, and brine his comet in your blood!" The cultists let loose with their gunfire yet again, forcing Torgue to scoot back behind his upturned desk and reload. "'Comet of the Owl Prince'? The hell are they talking about!?" asked Moxxi as she popped off a few shots from her personal sidearm Rubi, ducking back behind the desk as bullets whizzed past. "AW SH*T, I THINK I KNOW! THEY GOTTA BE TALKIN' ABOUT THE BIG-ASS METEORITE THAT MADE THIS CRATER IN THE FIRST PLACE! ITS GOT SOME SORTA FANCY METAL MY COMPANY'S BEEN MINING FROM IT TO USE IN OUR HIGHER-END GUNS!" Mister Torgue fired off some more rounds, managing to blow off one cultist's arm, and exploded another's head like a watermelon.
As they continued to take potshots at their attackers, Moxxi pulled out her ECHO device. "Ellie! Ellie, where are you!?" yelled Moxxi into the device. "I'm at the garage by the stadium, down at the center of the Crater!" answered Ellie, interrupted by gunfire on her end. "-Yeah, eat that you culty sumbitches! But yeah, they've been floodin' into the stadium like spiderants to a cannibal picnic! I'd try to stop 'em from doin' whatever it is they're tryin' to do, but all I got's an old Dahl Matador shotty n' a big fat bod that's an easy target for any bandit with half-decent aim-" PEW-PEW-SHOOM! "Ah, shit!" Ellie ducked behind the project truck she'd been working on prior to the attack, avoiding an oncoming burst of gunfire. "Oh, you bastards want some more!?" Ellie cocked the Matador and fired, pellets embedding themselves into bandits' chests. "Agh!" Ellie ducked back behind cover, a bandit cultist having managed to nick her arm with a well-aimed revolver shot, causing her to drop the shotgun. "Dammit! Ma, I'm hit! Didn't Torgue say he put out a call for some Vault Hunters, Ma!?" grunted Ellie into her ECHO, looking around for any sort of first aid that didn't need her to leave her cover. "IT WAS LIKE, FIVE MINUTES AGO, HAVE SOME F*KING PATIENCE! ITS NOT LIKE THEY CAN JUST SPONTANEOUSLY TELEPORT HERE!" shouted Torgue on the other end. "You literally have a Fast-Travel Station set up here! And you're telling us to have patience when MY BABY GIRL'S BEEN SHOT!?" shrieked Moxxi at Torgue. "Ellie, are you ok!? Are you able to hang on for much longer!?" She asked, her tone seeping with motherly concern. "I'm fine, Ma! Just got nicked in the arm!" reassured Ellie. "But I'm bleeding like a stuck Ratch n' there ain't any aid I can reach without getting even more shot up!" "Dammit! Torgue, tell the Vault Hunters to HURRY THE FUCK UP!" screamed Moxxi, before her end of the ECHO call began making loud, glitchy sounds, like she slammed her ECHO device against something out of anger. But things weren't looking so hot for Ellie, as the bandit cultists were starting to close in, when suddenly, Ellie heard something in the distance, it sounded like...
...Mariachi? "Huh? The hell's that music?" An answer for Ellie arrived in the form of a large truck suddenly flying in and plowing through the crowd of bandits, painting the surrounding area red. "YEEE-HAW!" shouted Axton from the driver's seat, pulling out a shotgun and blowing away one of the bandits who didn't just get reduced to red paste. "You just got the Ax!" He boasted, blowing the smoke off the barrels. "Axton, if you ever say that again, I'm gonna have FL4K start letting his pets shit in your bunk." groaned Zane, sitting next to Axton, clearly not a fan of the one-liner. The bandits who didn't get ran over recuperated, seeing who was in the truck. "VAULT HUNTERS! KILL 'EM ALL!" ordered a cultist Nomad, brandishing an armored shield and raising his machine gun high as a legion of Psychos and Marauders charged forward. But before they could even really attempt anything, something leapt from the back of the truck the Vault Hunters came in on, screaming like an animal. "I'LL CRUMBLE YOUR CAUSTIC CASTLES WITH AN AXE TO YOUR GARROTED ARTERIES!!!" shrieked Krieg, throwing his axe directly into the face of a cultist, promptly snapping another's neck with a vicious crunch, yanking his axe from the former's head before his corpse could even hit the ground, darting for the rest of the present bandits. "HAHAHAAAA!!! IT SUSTAINS MEEEEE!!!" cackled the Psycho as he turned the scene into a bloody flurry of blades, gore, and screaming.
From an outside perspective, it was horrific. An atrocious massacre only capable of being carried out by the most inhuman of lunatics. But to the animalistic berserker in Krieg, it was a massacre, yes. But to him it was also art. It was beauty. It was LIFE. The axe's spinning blades dug into the bandits' flesh, drawing blood and splashing it all over the sand, like an artist slathering paint onto his canvas. He pulled and the axe sliced the rest of the way through the bandit, ripping him in half and leaving his entrails trailing as he fell to the ground. Krieg's head jolted to look at another oncoming group of bandit cultists, one of whom managed to shoot his axe out of his hand, thinking it'd save them in any way. It wouldn't. Krieg sprinted at the bandits, who fired on all cylinders, but he welcomed the bullets. To most, being shot is an indescribably painful experience. But to Krieg, it was like that pleasant feeling you get when you step into a nice, warm shower. He clenched one of his calloused fists and swung at the first bandit he managed to reach, dislodging the unlucky sucker's jaw with a single punch, leaving it dangling from his face. Krieg leapt into the rest of the crowd, breaking spines, snapping necks, gouging eyes and beating motherfuckers with other motherfuckers' limbs. Where most would see a disgusting pile of blood, corpses, and barely-living bandits reaching for their guns to take their own lives as opposed to continuing to painfully bleed out, to the Psycho... this was art, no, this was the truth. This was what the world was to the raging murderous part of Krieg: a bleak, empty canvas populated with sad, unfortunate souls who needed to be preserved, and cruel, uncaring scum that needed to ripped open to let their insides paint the canvas and make it prettier for the ones who deserved life.
As Krieg turned the bandits into something resembling a Picasso painting if he inhaled exhaust fumes before making it, Axton and Zane sprinted over to Ellie, who was covering her bleeding arm with her free hand."Heh, hell of an entrance, guys-rrrgh..." Ellie grunted as she tightened her grip. "If one a' y'all could bring me that first-aid, I'd really appreciate it..." Nodding, Zane picked up the nearby kit and tossed it to Axton, who went in for a closer look at the wound. "Damn, it's in there deep." said Axton, unsheathing a pocket knife. "Might wanna hold your breath..." A few seconds of digging and pained grunts from Ellie, and Axton managed to pry the bullet out from the wound before opening the first aid kit and getting to work on closing the wound. "So, is it just you 3?" asked Ellie, occasionally wincing as Axton began stitching the wound. "Nah, we also got Maya, Brick, n' Sal with us. They split off so they could go help out Torgue n' yer mum." Zane's ECHO began vibrating. "Aye, this is Zane." "YO! Zane! This is Brick! We got Torgue n' Moxxi outta there and are on the move! Where're you at with Axton and Krieg?" "Oi, we're over at Ellie's garage near the stadium!" "Alright, Maya says she'll drive us there, have us regroup and prepare a full-group assault on whatever the hell it is those cult dudes're doing in the stadium." "I hear ya loud n' clear, Brick." With that, Zane hung up as Axton finished the stitching on Ellie's wound.
After a couple minutes, another truck pulled up to the garage, covered in blood and bullet holes. "Ellie! Oh thank God, you're OK!" exclaimed Moxxi, quickly leaping out and dashing towards Ellie, squeezing her girth in a tight hug. "Ma, it was just a gunshot wound! But, I'm super glad to see you're OK too." Ellie hugged her mother back as the other Vault Hunters piled out, led by Maya. She looked around the garage, seeing everyone was accounted for... except... "Krieg? Where's Krieg?" asked Maya, growing concerned. While she was aware of the little voice in the back of Krieg's head that managed to keep the lunatic personality in check, having used her Siren powers to gaze into his psyche. But from what she'd seen, the influence Krieg's remaining vestiges of sanity had over the beast he was now were very limited, and because of this, Maya preferred to not leave him unattended if possible. "Oi, Maya! He's over there." Zane pointed out to where Krieg was, a small distance away from the garage, standing in the results of his earlier handiwork, his sculpted body utterly slathered in blood, one bandit's large intestine hanging from his shoulder.
Krieg stood in silence, only lightly growling as he caught his breath, his pupil dilated as he came off the high of his berserk frenzy, only just barely lucid enough for the other voice to see what what'd happened. "I'd be lying if I said this wasn't impressive... even if in a horrific way..." Meanwhile, Krieg was grunting something between heavy breaths. "The voices said 'hollow'...'empty'...'thud'...the voices said 'hollow'...'empty'...'thud'...the voices said HOLLOW! EMPTY! THUUUUUD!!!" Krieg roared as he yanked his axe from a nearby corpse and swung around to see what was coming at him from behind. "WOAH, Krieg! Calm down, please!" Maya quickly reached her palm out to Krieg's forehead, her Siren tattoos glowing. This seemed to calm the beast in him, his pupils contracting as his mind grew stable. Or at least as close to stable as Krieg's scrambled psyche could get. Krieg's breathing slowed down, the little remaining sane part of him managing to get a strong enough grasp over the Psycho, bringing him from 'feral animal with a buzzsaw-axe and an 8-pack' to 'giant unhinged man who will at least consider waiting a little bit before committing gory atrocities to sate his boredom'. "Hrrrrggghhhh...th-thank-" grunted Krieg, like he was trying to spit something out. "...Thank y-rrrrgghhh-hnnnnNNNIPPLE SALADS!!" He grunted, almost frustratedly. Despite this, Maya actually smiled in response. "Hey, look at that! That's the closest you've gotten so far!" exclaimed Maya, sounding proud of Krieg as she removed her hand from his forehead. "Now c'mon, big guy. We're getting ready to put an end to Torgue's whole cult problem." Krieg nodded, and followed Maya back over to Ellie's garage. "We're getting closer... closer to finally saying it..." The little voice said, sounding hopeful as he echoed through the back of Krieg's mind.
INSIDE TORGUE STADIUM:
The Owl Prince's Eyes had been busy, essentially converting what was supposed to be the event grounds for Torgue-Con into a massive shrine to their perceived patriarch. "Bring forth the heretical engines of destruction!" shouted a cultist in a particularly ornate outfit, composing of tight spandex shorts, a leather harness, a lot of feathers, and a golden version of the stylized owl masks all the others were wearing. The head cultist pointed a group of bandits carting around crates of Torgue weapons to the center of the stadium, where sat a massive meteorite the size of a large house, partially mined to make the aforementioned weapons. "Melt down those affronts to our dark prince! Once we've summoned him forth, we shall offer him both his comet and the slurry as tribute! And he will repay us with the slaughter of the non-believers!" The head cultist raised his arms into the air as his fellow zealots cheered. "Brother, how does the summoning ritual go?" asked the head cultist, turning to another cultist in a rakk-scale cloak, holding a ratty old tome and a staff made from a lead pipe and a piece of cardboard with a moon crudely drawn onto it. "The circle has been placed around the meteor and the sigils are drawn! Our summoners only need to recite the sacred scripture, and our Owl Prince will soon be in the embrace of his loving subjects!" "Excellent..." said the head cultist, grinning beneath his mask-
KABLAMMO! The entrance to the stadium previously thought to have been sealed was suddenly violently blown open, and from the resulting cloud of smoke and dust emerged the Vault Hunters, led by Mister Torgue, firing their weapons and letting loose a hurricane of lead, rockets, grenades, and other miscellaneous ballistic munitions. "THIS'LL SHOW YOU JERKWADS TO F*CK UP TORGUE-CON!" He shouted, lugging one one of his company's missile launchers over his shoulder and firing, sending explosive payloads the size of someone's whole upper body flying the cult's way. "Damnation!" shouted the head cultist. "BROTHERS! The heathens threaten to interrupt our prince's arrival! SPILL THEIR BLOOD!" Lead filled the air like a swarm of hornets, casings littering the ground.
Salvador, of course, was running ahead as fast as his short little legs could carry him, an oversized Bandit shotgun in one hand, a particularly expensive looking Vladof Shredifier in the other, and he was squeezing the triggers so hard it was a surprise the guns didn't break in his grip. "HAHAHAAAA!! ¡NI SIQUIERA EL DIABLO ME PUEDE GANAR, PENDEJOS!" Cackled Salvador as bandits fell dead around him, shells and casings flying from his guns as he laid waste to anything that dared stand in his warpath. Not far behind was Krieg, similarly cackling as he ripped up any cultist unlucky enough to have avoided getting blown away by Sal. "You get a bullet! And YOU get a bullet! EVERYONE GETS A BULLET!" "RRRRRGH, ITS A SCARLET SLICE!" The Vault Hunters were making thoroughly short work of the bandit cultists, much to their leader's horror. "Oh no... NONONONOOOO!" the head cultist panicked as he frantically scrambled over to the ritual site. "BROTHER! THE VAULT HUNTERS ARE PLOWING THROUGH OUR FORCES LIKE A MOWER THROUGH WEEDS! PLEASE! EXPEDITE THE RITUAAAAAL!" The head cultist begged as he shook the overseer by the collar. "My brother, they're almost finished reciting the sacred scripture! It's only a matter of seconds in before-" SPLAT! The ritual overseer's head suddenly exploded like one of those rubber-band-fire-melon videos you'd see on the ECHOnet.
His face covered in the Overseer's blood and brains, the head cultist turned around to see Brick grabbing him by the throat. "Alright, jackass. Anything you wanna get off your plate before I lay a nice, big knuckle sandwich on it?" growled Brick as balled up his free fist, which looked like it was around the same size as the leader's face. As Brick held the cult leader in a one-handed stranglehold, the other Vault Hunters and Torgue caught up, the latter of whom had a lot to say to the leader. "SCREW WITH TORGUE-CON, WILL YA!? YOU'RE LUCK BRICK'S JUST GONNA PUNCH YOU SO HARD YOUR HEAD'LL EXPLODE! IF I GOT MY HANDS ON YOU FIRST I'D HAVE STRAPPED LIKE, 30 DIFFERENT MISSILES TOGETHER THEN TIED YOU TO THAT AND SET THEM OFF LIKE FIREWORKS!" Suddenly, as Torgue was yelling loud enough to induce tinnitus in a few of the Vault Hunters, suddenly a red-and-purple glow exploded from the meteorite and covered the whole of the stadium's interior. "Hahahahaaa!" laughed the cult leader, seeing what was happening. "You're too late, heathens! The ritual is complete! Now bear witness to the coming of PRINCE STOLAS!" As the Vault Hunters held up their hands to shield their eyes from the massive blinding lights emanating from the meteorite, a portal opened in front of it. From this portal emerged an extremely slender figure, walking in on haunched talons, clad in an elegant ensemble of tan pants, a crimson waistcoat, a feathery cape, and a large top hat. The creature wearing this whole outfit strode with an air of elegance, his face akin to the masks all the cultists were wearing. "Yes...our dark prince..." gasped the cult leader, having been dropped by Brick.
All the Vault Hunters stood ready, weapons loaded and aimed at... whatever that thing was that was emerging. Krieg in particular was hunched like a rabid animal, revving his axe and looking like he was about ready to pounce. The owl demon stood before everyone, looking down to the cult leader and opened his beak to address him. But what came out of the owl's beak was certainly not what any of the Vault Hunters thought a demon would sound like: "Why, hello there. I presume you're the one who's been sending me all those messages about a shrine you were building?" Stolas' voice was what you'd expect to hear out of a fruity, flirty guy you'd see at some trendy coffee joint on a much nicer planet than Pandora, not a supposedly all-powerful demon prince. "Yes, Prince Stolas! Look around you, and gaze upon our tribute to thee!" cackled the leader. "Ah, I see..." Stolas gazed around the stadium, seeing all the crude effigies, paintings and other monuments dedicated to him. "So, for what have you summoned me...?" asked Stolas, looking a bit uneasy at seeing how much these bandits seemed to be obsessed with him. "To help us slaughter these heathen Vault Hunters, and to claim all that which is RIGHTFULLY YOURS!" Stolas briefly looked side to side. "Ummmm... my dear fellow, I don't want to sound rude, but I don't recall our arrangement involving having to fight... whatever types this lot composes of." said the owl demon, understandably wary about all the heavily armed mercenaries partially surrounding him. "They've been mowing through all of my guards, JUST DO SOMETHING, PLEASE!" begged the cult leader, grabbing Stolas by the collar of his shirt. "Alright! No need to shout in my face!"
With that, Stolas waved his hand a bit, and suddenly a giant purple/blue blast of presumably magic nature came flying from his palm, straight towards the Vault Hunters. "Magic Missile, incoming!" shouted Brick, leaping out of the way along with the others as the blast flew by and annihilated a nearby structure. "Holy crap...!" uttered Maya. She'd seen some weird stuff in her time on Pandora, but big ol' blasts of magic straight out of one of Tiny Tina's Bunkers & Badasses campaigns? "Alright, this guy's clearly not playing around! Give him everything you've got, guys!" "You ain't gotta tell me twice!" said Sal, pulling out a pair of shotguns and making a mad dash for Stolas. "Alright, big guy, I don't say this a lot, but let 'er rip!" The small voice in Krieg's head in a rare moment willingly encouraged him to let loose, seeing just how powerful this Stolas guy was. "HAHAHA! TIME TO BASTE THE BEAST!" cackled Krieg, sprinting at record speeds alongside Salvador. Meanwhile, Maya, Brick, and Axton laid down cover fire. "Choke on this, birdbrain!" yelled Brick, squeezing the trigger on his large machine gun.
Stolas simply stood there, having conjured an arcane sphere around himself and the cult leader which blocked the Vault Hunters' oncoming fire, attempting to figure out what to do next. "Hmmm... so there seems to be about six of them plus the one with the sunglasses and mustache-" "LORD STOLAS! LOOK OUT!!" The cult leader shouted as he pointed behind Stolas, just in time for the latter to see Krieg and Salvador barreling at them like a pair of human freight trains. Stolas leapt backwards, his broken concentration causing his shield to dissipate, allowing Krieg to tackle him to the ground. "THERE'S NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE!" shouted Krieg, introducing his shoulder to Stolas' face. "Gah!" Stolas was knocked a good few feet backwards, rolling onto his back. Groaning and picking himself up, Stolas looked up to see Krieg leaping up to bring his axe down on him "BRING OUT THE BASTE AND SWEET POTATOES! ITS TIME TO GIVE THANKS!" Krieg's eye was dilated to the maximum, adrenaline rushing through his tainted veins, this was gonna be BEAUTIFUL! "GRAAAAAGH!" shrieked Krieg, slamming his axe to the ground, only to see that Stolas wasn't there anymore. "HUH!? WHERE'S MY MAIM COURSE!?" Krieg wildly looked around, trying to see where the owl demon went. "Looking for me?~" Krieg whipped around to see Stolas now behind him, firing another magical burst. PSHOOOOM!!! The sparkly blast sent Krieg flying across the stadium, screaming. "AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa...!!!!" As Krieg was launched, Salvador stood before Stolas. "Ay! PENDEJO!"
Stolas looked down to see this hairy vertically-stunted fist with hair stapled to it standing before him. "Oh, just look at you..." said Stolas, his tone dripping with mocking doting. "Oh ya think I'm cute, eh? Then this oughta melt your heart!" Salvador whipped out his shotguns and started blasting. Stolas suddenly briefly disappeared in a quick flash of light before reappearing a small distance away from Sal, preparing another attack, sending out another billowing cloud of sparkly death, only for Salvador to sidestep it and continue blasting. Meanwhile, as Salvador and Stolas performed their big dance o' violence, Krieg had landed in the stockpile of Torgue guns the bandit cultists were planning on melting down. "Hrrrrgh... the meat is willing but the blood is sickled..." he grunted, picking himself up out of the pile of guns, seeing Salvador and Stolas fighting in the distance. Eager to get back in the fight, Krieg sifted through the veritable mountain of Torgue armaments, looking for his axe. Seeing the handle, he pushed a few Sputtering Spitters and Explicit Rods out of the way and grabbed hold, yanking it out, only inadvertently strike gold. "Hnnnngh- YAAAGH!" Krieg lifted his axe from the pile, only for a pearlescent shine to catch his eye. And that shine belonged to the Carnage: a massive Torgue shotgun with no less than FOUR barrels, exhaust pipes and a supercharger, topped off with a matte black paint job with sleek red and gold racing stripes. "A golden mallet for the meat pounding..." muttered Krieg, staring at it like a child who just unwrapped his dream Mercenary Day present. "Quick, grab that. We can use it to help out Sal and the rest..." suggested the little voice. Krieg tightly wrapped his calloused fingers around the gun's grip, attempting to dislodge it from the pile. "Hrrrrrgh...HRRRRRGRRAAAAAGH!" Krieg roared as he yanked the Carnage from the pile and hoisted it high above his head, like Excalibur from the stone, before leaping down from the mountain of Torgue weapons back to the fight.
Speaking of which, Salvador wasn't doing so hot, having gotten himself ensnared to the ground by a glowing ethereal chain summoned by Stolas. "LET HIM GO, JACKHOLE! RAAAAGH!!" shouted Brick, charging at Stolas and swinging, only for Stolas to yet again teleport away and knock him away with a blast of magic. "Cut it out with the friggin' teleporting and fight!" Brick threw another punch at Stolas, when chains similar to the ones that bound Salvador wrapped themselves around his arms and yanked him to the ground. "Ho-ho... honestly, I could have simply ended you all here and now, but I haven't done anything this exhilarating since I was wedded!" Stolas chuckled, a smug smile on full display, when he heard gunfire from behind and promptly jolted to the side to avoid it, turning to see Maya, Zane, and Axton. "Oh how adorable! More thuggish mercenaries to crush!" exclaimed Stolas, conjuring another magical projectile in his hands, but this one was instead a bright red, with a skull's face forming in it. "You think you're so tough? We've killed things that could swallow you whole without even needing to chew!" boasted Maya, her brow furrowed as she pulled back the charging handle on her Torrent SMG. "An interesting choice of last words, I'll give you that." With that, Stolas launched the deathly fireball, Zane and Axton looking away and bracing for impact... only for a few seconds to pass without them being horrifically burnt to death. "What in the..." uttered Zane, him and Axton looking back to see that Maya had managed to catch the projectile with her Phaselock, the burning ball of hatred encased within the ethereal blue sphere, to even Maya's own visible surprise. "Wha...what witchcraft is this!?" shouted Stolas, bewildered. "Hm, that's another one for Siren-power-Bingo..." remarked Maya, inspecting the Phaselocked fireball for a few seconds before launching it back. "Think fast!" She yelled, following up the throw with a flurry of bullets, Axton and Zane contributing as well.
Stolas warped away before the fireball could land, avoiding the oncoming lead blizzard, as well as having to also teleport and dodge his way around the recently freed Sal and Brick, when as he attempted to warp away again, Stolas was suddenly nearly hit by a trio of ballistic missiles. Breathing heavily, Stolas' eyes followed the smoke trail and saw Krieg, brandishing the Carnage and looking royally pissed. "YOU WOKE THE WRONG DOGS!!" screamed Krieg as he pumped the Carnage's slide, before firing another barrage of missiles. "GANGWAY FOR GANGRENE!" Krieg shouted for his fellow Vault Hunters to stand clear, as he took aim. "AH!" Stolas yelped before attempting to warp his way around the explosions, attempting to teleport somewhere he could attack safely, but wherever he went, he was met with a fiery blast, kicking up dirt and dust. Eventually, Stolas materialized from another teleport- BOOOOOSH!! Stolas suddenly found himself thrown back several feet as one of the Carnage's rockets hit the ground near his talons.
Stolas' head throbbed, his vision blurry and his ears ringing. Blinking, his eyes managed to refocus, looking down at his body, seeing that all 4 of his limbs were still intact, but then- "W-wha...!?" Stolas's beak dropped, his eyes like red dinner plates as he saw that some of the missile's shrapnel had lodged itself into his midsection, inky black blood flowing from the wound, staining his clothes and the ground around him. "How...these mortals couldn't possibly have..." Stolas muttered to himself in utter disbelief, looking up to see Krieg and the other Vault Hunters approaching, guns and other weapons in hand. "Hell yeah! He's on the ropes!" cheered Brick, limping. "Now, who's gonna do the honors?" "DIBS!" yelled Salvador, grabbing his shotguns and pointing them at Stolas, pulling the triggers and... KLIK. "Huh?" Salvador raised his eyebrow as he pulled the triggers a few more times, nothing happening. "Dammit, I'm empty!" As Salvador began reloading his shotguns, Maya couldn't help but notice Stolas' panic. "What's the matter, 'O Mighty Owl Prince'? Never been in a real fight before?" "How...? There's no way..." Stolas gasped, picking himself up, clutching his wound. "...that boorish mongrels like the lot of you could have possibly had any kind of holy weaponry!" Stolas shouted, blood leaking from his mouth. "If you're gonna lay a whole monologue on us, make it quick, we've got other places to be. Sal, what's taking you so long?" asked Maya, looking back down at Sal. "I'm trying, OK!? Whether these things' magazines'll actually go in's kind of a crapshoot..." grunted the Gunzerker, struggling to cram the crudely built drum-magazines into the shotguns. "Well maybe next time don't use friggin' Bandit weapons! Anway-wait, what's he doing!?" Maya readied her SMG as she saw Stolas pull out a shiny, ornate book, a crescent moon adorning its cover. "Put that thing down or get put down!" barked Maya as Stolas opened the book. "Were you ruffians not going to kill me anyway?" grunted Stolas, his book beginning to glow as he flipped through the pages and began waving his free hand. "I mean, yeah. But maybe we'd spare ya if you had something you could offer us. Kinda like leprechaun rules, y'know?" remarked Axton, pointing his rifle at the demon. "Do I look like a fucking LEPERCHAUN to you!?" shouted Stolas incredulously as suddenly an ethereal rift in space and time opened behind him. "Well, ruffians of Pandora, if there's anything I could thank you for, it'd be for making being around my wife seem not so bad!" Stolas began making the closest thing his shrapnel-wound would allow to a dash for the portal. "Ah crap, he's bailing!" yelled Zane. "Get after 'im!"
Instinctively, Krieg began sprinting at Stolas. "THIS LITTLE BIRDY WON'T BLEEEEED ALL THE WAY HOME!" Krieg shouted as the gap between him and Stolas rapidly shrunk, until the Psycho behemoth managed to leap and tackle him. "WAIT, KRIEG! DON'T-" yelled Maya, futilely throwing out her hand, but she was too late. Krieg threw himself and Stolas through the portal as it closed, leaving only a black pentagram seared into the ground beneath where it'd been opened. "Son of a...!" grunted Maya, kicking the dirt in frustration, when just then... "YOU CAN'T RUN, PIPSQUEAK!" Mister Torgue burst back into the stadium, chasing the cult leader with an excessively huge rocket launcher. "REMEMBER THAT WHOLE FIREWORKS THREAT!? WELL I'M GONNA MULTIPLY THAT BY F*ING SIX ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!" He shouted, firing missiles at the leader, who was screaming for his life as he weaved around the missiles, only to bump into and get grabbed by the collar by Maya. "OH! HEY MAYA! HOW'D THE FIGHT WITH THAT DEMON OWL GUY GO!? AND WHERE'S KRIEG!?" asked Torgue, lowering his launcher. "That's exactly what I'm hoping to find out..." said Maya, bringing the cult leader's face up to hers. "Alright, jerkass, where'd that portal take Krieg!?" "You mean that oversized mass of tumorous muscle? As riveting as it'd be, I couldn't possibly know where Lord Stolas has taken him to be punished for his heathenism!" hissed the leader, flecks of his spit landing on Maya's cheek. "Well, where'd you summon your precious Owl Prince from!? And you'd better pick your next words carefully..." said Maya, looking the leader dead in the eyes. "Well, Miss Siren, you tell me, where do you think demons come from!?"
Krieg had no idea where he'd just tackled Stolas into, but wherever they were, they were falling a great height, and the sky was blood-red. "RRRRGH! THE CASTRATED SHEEP SLINK THROUGH THE BLEEDING SKY!" He kept a tight grip on Stolas, only for the latter to jab Krieg in the eye with the metal-adorned corner of the book, causing his grip to slip, allowing Stolas to get away from Krieg and open another portal in mid-air, leaving Krieg skydiving all by his lonesome. "GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!" shrieked the Psycho as he continued falling, flames starting to burn around his body like he was going into reentry. Looking at the ground, Krieg was able to make out what he assumed was a... city? It was somewhat hard to tell, what with falling at at least several miles per hour and his eye still recovering from almost being poked out.
Meanwhile, a strange, monstrous feline creature had recently landed on the ground in front of a massive clock tower, uncertain of what was happening. "Hmm?" The creature lifted its hands from its eyes, seeing that the fall hadn't killed it. "I-I'm alive? I'M ALI-!!" At that moment, a massive slab of muscles, scars, and bloodstains proceeded to land directly on it, splattering blood all over the pavement. Picking himself up, Krieg peeled what was left of the feline thing off his front of began looking around, neither personality familiar with this area. It was a dilapidated metropolis, laden with broken and boarded-up windows, bright neon signs advertising dive bars, vending machines that apparently sold cocaine, and almost no two of its denizens looked exactly the same. "What in the... where are we?" asked the little voice, Krieg shrugging in response. Eventually, he saw a massive neon sign, colored bright orange, with an pointing directly to the ground, which read:
'WELCOME TO HELL. POPULATION: A FUCKTON.'