It didn't take long for them to settle Jennifer back in MedBay and run a quick scan to confirm that she'd just fainted from overexertion and emotional distress. She didn't even argue with them about their diagnosis. She just lay there quietly – keeping a wary eye on Tank.
The big man sensed her obvious discomfort with his presence, taking a step backward and clearing his throat. "If you don't need me for anything more…"
Hawk smiled. "You were on your way to make yourself lunch when Jennifer ran into you, weren't you?" He chuckled and waved Tank off before he could reply. "I think we're good here for now."
"But we won't hesitate to comm you if we need you," Jon assured him.
Tank nodded. "Otherwise, I'll report back here at the same time as yesterday."
He started to leave – then turned to face Jennifer again. "Rest well, okay? Nobody here wants to see you hurt yourself all over again."
She gave no response at all to that. Tank nodded at the others and departed.
Jon gave him a parting glance, then turned his full attention back to Jennifer.
"We hope you realize now that you're not nearly as close to full strength as you thought."
Jennifer blinked silently back at him, her eyes full of resentment.
"Do you understand just how close you came to dying out there before Scout found you?"
More of the silent treatment.
"Save your breath," Hawk advised him. "Apparently the Dread Youth have something in common with every other teenager. They all think they're immortal and know more and better than their elders do."
He could barely keep from chuckling at that. "Our resident elder is always happy to offer his infinite wisdom on that subject."
"Which comes from memories of my own youthful misadventures – and yours, too."
Normally, he would not have appreciated having Hawk referring to his "youthful misadventures" in front of a kid like Jennifer. But seeing the hint of a smile on the girl's face was worth it in this instance.
"Wait – was that a smile I just saw?"
She rolled her eyes and turned her head away.
So, there is a normal teenage girl underneath all that masking…
Drawing her out, though – that would be the tricky part in all of this.
"You know, it's okay to smile or even laugh if one of us says something that you think is funny."
She kept facing the wall, but he could see just enough of her profile to swear the corner of her mouth twitched.
"I think the next thing we should do is get some aloe on that sunburn, all right?"
Silence.
"Jennifer?"
Still no response.
"Could you at least look at me and give me a yes or no answer?"
Her head snapped back over with a petulant "Why?"
"Because it's common courtesy."
"Common what?"
"Courtesy. Manners," Hawk spoke up before he could. "Something we all practice around here. In case you haven't figured it out by now, we're not the barbarians your teachers made us out to be."
"Manners?" She sounded as puzzled as ever – and he didn't think she was faking it.
Hawk sighed. "You must have some rules of etiquette you live by. Addressing an officer with proper respect, not interrupting a superior when they're speaking…?"
Comprehension dawned again. "The code of conduct. It's one of the first things we learn – and learn not to deviate from."
"It looks to us like you're pretty good at deviating so far," Jon couldn't help smiling as he said it, hoping for at least a little smile in return.
She regarded him warily – obviously unsure if she was being complimented or insulted. "Everyone deviates sometimes."
"So, even the best of the Dread Youth fall short of perfection." He barely managed not to smile this time. The last thing he wanted was for him to think he was mocking her.
"I never said we were perfect," she bristled. "Perfection is something we pursue. Relentlessly."
"Now might be a good time for you to rethink that whole relentless way of living, don't you think?"
She appeared to give that a moment of real thought before closing her mouth and giving a little nod.
"Good. Now back to my original question about trying some aloe on that sunburn. It really should make it feel a lot better if you're willing to try it."
"Why does that matter to you… how I feel?"
"Because none of us want to see someone suffer when we've got a healthy and effective way to relieve their pain."
"Pain… is just the weakness of frail flesh…To give in to pain… is the greatest shame…" There were tears in the corners of her eyes again.
"No, Jennifer. There's no shame in feeling pain. Just like there's no shame for those tears, remember?"
She blinked back the tears and stared up at the ceiling as she continued. "We conquer our pain… as we conquer our emotions…." The shakiness in her voice betrayed her words.
Hawk stepped in. "Another one of Dread's lies. Pain is a natural part of life - of the human condition. And we don't deal with pain by pretending that we don't feel it. It's mostly just our nervous system's way of telling us that something's gone wrong that needs to be put right. And no matter what Dread's taught you, you are no exception to that rule. So there's no point trying to convince us – or yourself - that your bruised ribs and those burns on your face and hands don't all still hurt like hell. Because you know we're not going to believe that for a second – and because you're tired of lying to yourself, too."
Silence.
"Aren't you?"
A barely audible sniffle as she blinked back tears again.
Another terrible thought occurred to Jon. "Or do you not even treat injuries like burns in the Dread Youth?"
That at least got her to look him in the eye again.
"I've treated a few burns before…" she grudgingly admitted. "We're supposed to keep our bodies functioning in the best condition possible. Infirmity doesn't serve the Machine."
"And burn cream doesn't come without some form of pain relief, no matter how it's formulated." Hawk reminded her. "And you've already had two applications of that, while you were sleeping. Seems rather foolish to turn down more pain relief now, doesn't it?"
She bit her lip, obviously thinking it over.
"Besides, this is more than just pain relief. It's got an antiseptic in it that helps to prevent infection. It would be foolish to turn that down too, would it?"
Either too tired to argue or unable to come up with a suitable counter, she nodded.
"All right, then." Hawk crossed to the counter to retrieve the bottle of gel.
"Full disclosure - I already tested a little of this on you while you were asleep – to make sure you weren't allergic to it."
"You - what?" She edged toward the back of the bed again.
"Just a little bit above your elbow, the last time I changed your IV. I haven't used anything else besides burn cream on you – unless you want to count the cleansing wipes and dry shampoo. And nobody here is going to use any other chemical or drug on you when you're sleeping, unless there's a medical emergency that warrants it. Are we clear about that?"
She nodded.
"All right, then." Hawk handed the bottle to Jon and stepped back.
"Let's start with your hands, okay?"
She hesitated for a moment before holding them out, trembling ever so slightly.
"I think you'll also appreciate the cooling effect this has…" Jon squeezed a small amount of the gel into one of her open palms and couldn't help smiling at the flicker of surprise in her eyes.
"And then you just get a thin layer of it applied over all the burned skin, same as with the burn cream…"
The corners of Jennifer's mouth had turned up just enough to be noticeable, and Jon was glad to see it.
"That already feels better, doesn't it?"
A moment's hesitation before she nodded.
"Now, we need to be careful applying it to your face – just like with burn cream. You don't want to get this in your eyes…" she was holding herself stiffly again – as if she'd break if she moved just a fraction of an inch at his touch. "…but we do have a trick to use on those burned eyelids of yours."
"What's that?"
"You'll see in just a second." Jon closed the bottle and swapped it out out for the cooling towel Hawk had pulled from the mini fridge. Jennifer followed this exchange with wary eyes. But at least she wasn't shrinking back against the wall again.
"But first, you have to close your eyes."
She froze. For a second, he thought she might try to bolt.
"Just for a moment. No trick here other than giving your eyelids the same pain relief we just gave the other burned places," Jon assured her.
She complied and he gently used the towel as a cold compress on her right eye. She let out a little gasp – then relaxed as he held it there for a long moment before repeating the gesture on her left.
"Much better now, right?" he asked as she opened both eyes again.
She nodded – a look of mingled wonder and disbelief on her face.
"We'll leave the cooling towel right here for you." He laid it next to her pillow. "You can use that as often as you like on your eyelids, but you'll need to let the rest of your skin fully absorb the aloe before you use it on any of the other burned places – and the cold only lasts for about four hours before the towel has to be refrigerated again."
"Which is also about how long you need to wait for another application of aloe." Hawk told her. "Any questions about any of that?"
She shook her head.
"Any other questions for us, or do you want to just rest for a while?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Scout… and Tank…"
"What about them?" Jon asked.
"Scout and Tank…" she repeated… "and the two of you… it's just the four of you here?"
Damn. She really was too smart for her own good.
Then again, they probably shouldn't have expected to hold out on their real numbers much longer. And they had promised not to lie to her.
"That's right."
"The most powerful force in the Resistance is … only four men?"
"It's been all we've needed so far."
"And you'd be amazed at the difference just one person can make sometimes," Hawk added.
She looked thoughtful at that.
"Especially when that person is the first one to walk away from the Dread Youth." Jon let that hang in the air between them.
"Is that why you… saved me?" The verb sounded as awkward and unfamiliar as emotional words had earlier. "For intel about the Dread Youth?"
"No. We saved you for the same reason we try to save everyone else. Because you're a human being in need of help. And every human being's life is unique and precious."
She stared silently back at him, either not believing or understanding. Possibly both.
"Do you remember the first thing I taught you? Our prime goal – what we're all about?"
"To preserve life." There was still an uncertainty about the words.
"To preserve life," he echoed. "I'm sure that's a far cry from the prime goal you were raised with."
Silence.
"I don't suppose you'd care to share that with us," Hawk spoke up for the first time. Jennifer frowned as she shifted her gaze to meet his.
"Why?"
"Because we want to understand where you're coming from. It makes it easier for us to counter those lies with the truth."
Jennifer stared back at him for a long moment before her expression shifted… hardened… into something completely emotionless.
"The world is imperfect. We will make it perfect. Mechanize immortal human minds… in undying metalloid bodies..." She was clearly reciting now – her tone almost robotic. And yet, her voice had an edge of anger to it as well. "We are the Body Electric. Dread is our eyes. We are his fists. With our blood in our trust, he shall mold a new tomorrow."
So this was what Dread had been indoctrinating in his youth corps for the last decade.
It was insane. Monstrous. Horrific.
Jon could think of a few more choice words for it – but somehow, he didn't feel right using them with this young girl. Chances were pretty good that she'd heard some or all of them for the first time at the well in Hardscrabble – and he sure as hell didn't want to take a chance on giving her a flashback to the beating she'd endured there.
"Do you know what that is?"
She blinked and gave him a boy, are you ever stupid look. "The litany for the future. We say it at every assembly."
Hawk greeted that with a sardonic chuckle. "I'd say more like the litany of anti-life."
Jon nodded. "And it's garbage."
"To use the polite word," Hawk added.
Her eyes widened, but she said nothing.
" 'Mechanize immortal minds in undying metalloid bodies' – that's not perfection. That's arrested development." Jon allowed a little anger to seep into his voice. "And the 'Body Electric' - you all really believe that's Dread's original and unique concept for the future?"
She nodded and he couldn't help scoffing. "Dread didn't invent the Body Electric. Those words came from a poem written in 1855 by Walt Whitman."
"What?!" Now she was clearly thunderstruck, and he couldn't help feeling sorry for her. But he had to tell her more – to make sure she understood just how much Dread and his ilk had warped her reality.
"It's true. I can find you the text of the poem so you can read for yourself. But that's just one example of how he has stolen and twisted words and concepts from other great minds to shape that hideous vision he's sold to you as his own original creation." He forced himself to tamp down his anger a bit at the look of mingled anger and horror on Jennifer's face. If he wasn't careful, he could send her flying into full rage again. And he didn't want to do that in her still-weakened state. "Hawk and I can find a lot more for you to read later. But right now, I want to focus on what I think is the worst part of that terrible litany."
"What's that?"
"That Dread taught you and the rest of the Dread Youth to see yourselves as nothing more than extensions of him. 'Dread is our eyes. We are his fists.' No. You're a unique human being who can see and think for yourself. Or at least, you'll be able to once we've taught you how."
"How do I know that's true? How do I know you aren't just making up lies of your own? How do I know you aren't going to use me the same way Lor- the way Dread has?"
He couldn't blame her for thinking that way. Not after what her first two brushes with people outside of the Dread Youth had done to her.
"You'll find the answers to your first two questions in a lot of reading and applied logic. And I'll remind you again about our collective promise not to lie to you. As for your last question - it's going to involve some trust on your part."
She frowned, regarding him warily.
"But I can also promise you this – our purpose here isn't to mold you into a weapon to turn back on Dread. We only want to help you heal and find who you really are and who you really want to be, whether that's with us in the Resistance or somewhere outside of the fight. Despite what you've seen so far, I can promise you that there really are a lot of good people on the outside, too. Someday you'll see that for yourself."
She looked far from convinced - and tired.
"It's a lot to take in, I know. Go ahead and rest for a while."
She closed her eyes and turned her head back toward the wall.
"You should probably take your own advice." Hawk told him. "The rest of us can handle the watch for a few hours."