Garrus's cousin was generous enough to loan us his skycar so we may find Shepard. Just in case, I'll scan and make a copy so it will be ok if I crash this somewhere. Nah I don't know how to drive this thing, I'll let Garrus pilot, escpically since the chair is already set for someone of his height. Garrus asks me if I have any idea what is happening. I reply "Let's get there before we jump to any conclusions." This answer satisfies him. We pinpoint Shepard's omnitool location. By the time we arrived, he had already left with Wrex. Shepard orders us to meet back at the apartment. Everyone arrives roughly at the same time. I am the last one inside as the hulking krogan busts through the door.

Wrex asks "someone want to tell me what's going on here?"

Garrus "I didn't recognize those mercs. Heavily armed and using C-sec shuttle?"

Shepard replies "I don't know. I've never seen them before."

Brooks, a tan skin incredibly skinny woman as jumpy as a bunny in a blue navy uniform says with an annoying combination of anxiety and panic "I can't believe you survived all that. They had guns! And those drone things!"

Shepard opens his omnitool "It's all right. I'm calling Commander Bailey; see what's going on with c-sec."

Brooks rubs her chin "okay, that sounds… wait! Wouldn't that just make whoever you contact a target too?"

My immediate reaction is to ask my Commander "Shepard please call Tevos."

Garrus says "She's right. Until we figure this out, it's a big risk."

Shepard closes his omnitool "Okay. For now, we run this ourselves."

Brooks says "Right. Ourselves. On our own. Outside (so many O's) the law. Okay."

Shepard assures her "Brooks, it's okay. I know this is a lot to deal with."

Brooks vents the events that occurred in the last hour "I got shot! I've medi-gel, but still. I took a desk job explicitly to not get shot! And you killed a hundred guys with a pistol."

Shepard syas "Well, yes, that did happen…"

Brooks says "who does that? Well, you do, I guess. But besides you?"

I comment "I do it from time to time when I want to kill some cowardly communists."

Garrus and Wrex give me looks. Despite the three of us evolving in completely different environments, the vibe exchange of this person is bugging the hell out of us is universal.

Shepard asks "How did you get mixed up in this?"

Brooks answers "I monitor data for Alliance Intel to prevent fraud and hacking of officer IDs. Like someone using an admiral's password to get into a nightclub on the citadel when that admiral is fighting on Tuchanka. I wrote a tracking program. It's really neat. I named it "Mr. Biscuits" after my cat." These ADHD types really get on my nerves. Their energy is so disharmonizing it makes me sick.

I head to the kitchen and ask "Does anyone need a drink?"

Brooks yells in a high pitch voice "me please."

Wrex barks "I need something strong."

Garrus says "I'll pass."

Shepard raises his voice "Brooks."

She replies "Right. Sorry! Anyway Mr. Bis… my program detected a breach in your classified files. Soon, everything we had on you was compromised; personal files, mission reports, everything."

Wrex asks "Since when does hacking personnel records involve heavy-weapon fire."

Brooks replies "Think about what criminals could do if they had Shepard's military access codes. Or Spectre codes, even!"

I yell from the fridge "123457 is not that hard to guess!"

Shepard yells for me to shut up.

Wrex says "explains why they need you dead Shepard. Nothing to stop them until the damage is done."

Shepard says "Okay, let's figure out who they are and shut them down. Ideas?"

Garrus says "well… I was looking at that pistol your picked up…"

Wrex says "for such a tiny thing, it packs a punch. Never seen anything like it before." Heh. I found better guns.

Liara comes out of nowhere "let me see it. I might be able to help. Glyph." Liara pushes a button on her omnitool and her virtual intelligence, a blue blue emerges. It says

""I'll begin collating relevant intel for review Dr. T'soni."

Shepard says "Liara."

She replies "Shepard. I'm relieved to see you are in one piece. A shame about the Sushi place though. It was a favorite."

Shepard says "I hear that."

Wrex says "All right. Liara is on point. What about the rest of the crew?"

Joker emerges from a closet "Yeah, what about those slackers?"

I tease the pilot "were you just in there, playing seven minutes in heaven with Edi again?"

Joker confesses "well… I have been busy. But if you need. I brought some folks that actually like being shot at" right on cue, Ashley, Kaiden, Javik, Edi, and my dear Tali come in through the front door. My sweetheart stares at the ceiling, encompassing the large space.

Tali comments "I'll never understand why rich people are so obsessed with lightbulbs they can't possibly replace."

I say "I know. It's like they want a scissor lift scuffing their nice floors. How are you doing love?"

Tali lowers her head. "I've had better days. Shepard destroyed that sushi place you took me on out 6-month anniversary."

I turn bright red and face the soon to be dead again Spectre "Shepard you FUCKING JACKASS! Do you have any idea how important that place was to us! She used to walk by when on her pilgrimage and dreamed of going there. I wanted to bring Tali back there one day to relive young romance vibes and now I might never get the chance because you broke it you SHITHEAD!"

Shepard recoils from the shock, leaving him speechless. Hell, he is turning white as a ghost. Liara is surprised too, both my verbal soup of swearing and seeing fear on her bondmate's face for the first time.

He tries to defend himself "I didn't shoot up the place. I went through the floor!"

"Not the point Shepard!"

Wrex asks "when did he start acting like this around you?"

I said "whenever someone disappoints my dear Tali. Relax man I'm fucking with you. Oh, you should have seen your face. Priceless hahaha."

Shepard bends over, exhaling audibly" oh thank God!"

Tali says to me "you shouldn't be so mean."

Wrex says "********* went easy on him. When he was living with me, he said some things to krogan who tried to start a ruckus and ended it quickly. Even gives me the chills just thinking about it."

"Well, you got to put a stop to bad behavior early on. Shepard I chewed people out for a lot of different reasons. Breaking a kitchen floor is a new one."

Liara coughs "hmm hmm Shepard I believe Glyph and I need your help examining this pistol. Would you accompany me please?" Oh, sure leave the moment the vibe lowers. Well now I got to transmute this atmosphere."

"Hey Edi you look well. How you been?"

Edi says "Signal connections to the Normandy are at satisfactory levels."

I'm assuming she likes it. Time to roll with it. "Oh don't you just love it when that happens. I miss Legion. I wish he was here."

Brooks asks "who is Legion?"

"A geth unit we worked with. He died very recently. Legion was like the awkward preteen son I never had."

Tali rubs my shoulder "we'll see him again one day."

"I better." Still can't find him.

Brooks introduces herself to me and offers her shaky hand to me. She's actually a pretty good actress. If they can play a character you are supposed to hate, then you know they are doing their job.

Brooks says "I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I don't think I know you. Where are you from? Excuse me I should have asked what is your name? (her throat chakra is so lying right now, but I'll play along). Oooo… strong hands. I like that in a man hahahaha. Have you worked for Commander Shepard very big- LONG! I meant to say long! Hahaha I shouldn't have said that. I must still be frazzled by the medi-gel." Brooks is surprised she actually said that, and I can tell her attraction to me is legit. I don't like it. Is this what women feel like when someone is flirting with them in front of their boyfriends. I need to create some distance yet play it cool.

"Yeah, I worked with Shepard for about as long as Tali has. Let me introduce you to my girlfriend. (Whisper to Tali "stake your claim.") That's how we met."

Tali jumps into action "Hi Brooks. My bondmate rescued me and it was love at first sight."

"Yes I was shot by Cupid's arrow or Tali's gun. I don't remember which."

Kaiden comments "I think it was her gun."

Wrex says "definitely her gun. Poor thing was shaking like a varren pup."

"Please stop saying I shot you. It makes me feel terrible even though I didn't."

"I'm sorry Tali. To make it up, I'll make you feel really good later."

"You don't mean…"

"I do. LET'S GO CHECK OUT THE HOT TUB! CANNONBALL!"