Extremely personal chapter about my dear friend Jim.
Kim had finished her visit to the cancer ward leaving a very excited child. She changed quickly needing to get the costumes back to the opera house. She was headed to the car seeing her phone ringing she pulled it out very concerned when she saw who was calling. "Hey what's going on?" Kim asked confused but very concerned. "Hey Kimberly I uh wanted to call and let you know dad was admitted to the hospital again. He stopped eating and has had a hard time breathing. The echo this morning showing his heart function is at 10% and he's in renal failure. Essentially it seems like the end is coming." Jimmy paused not sure how she would react. "Omg! I knew he wasn't great when I talked to him the other day but it didn't seem dire. Shit. Um let me get my things and I will fly out. I need to see him." Kim was holding back the tears. "I completely understand." Jimmy stated. "I will be there as quickly as I can. Call with any updates." Kim hung up. She headed straight for the district needing to talk to Adam right away.
"Sergeant. Can I see Adam please?" Her eyes blood shot, tears streaming down her face. "Of course let's get you in the office so you can have some privacy." Platt walked her into the Commanders office letting her sit down. "Officer Ruzek." Adam answered his desk phone. "It's Platt. Kims here. She's crying I set her in the office. She wants to see you." Platt explained. "Yeah I will be right down." He was confused but very worried. "Um Kim's downstairs crying I have to go." Adam ran down the stairs going right into the office. She jumped right up and crashed in his arms sobbing. He had no idea what happened but he knew it had nothing to do with him. He held her till her tears started to dry before he pulled away. "What happened?" He looked into her broken eyes seeing her shaking. "Jim's dying. He stopped eating, heart function is at 10%, renal failure." She sobbed again having a hard time dealing with it mentally.
"Oh darling I'm so sorry. You should go be with him. Stay as long as you need. Forget the charity events. Don't worry about the houses. I will have it all handled. Just go be with your friend. He needs you." He hugged her longer letting her feel everything she was feeling. "I got to go pack so I can leave. But I will call you as soon as I land. I love you so much!" She kissed him pulling away. "I love you too! Just be safe." He watched her leave sniffing. He took a moment before he headed back up the stairs. "What happened? Is she okay?" Erin asked as soon as he gets up the stairs. "Um her friend Jim took a turn for the worse. He's not eating, heavy breathing. His heart function dropped again to 10% this time and he's in renal failure. It's only a matter of time it seems. I told her to go, to stay as long as needed. To forget her charity events. This is more important." He hung his head low as he spoke. "That's horrible. I feel for her. It's tough that's for sure. Keep us posted though." Erin knew how much Kim cared for her friend. And she knew how it felt to lose someone you love.
Kim rushed to the penthouse to start packing right away. She had no idea how long she would be gone but it didn't matter. She needed to get to the airport and fast. She arrived at the airport running to the united counter. "Hi I need to get to Bethlehem PA. Is flying into ERW or ABE quicker?" She really didn't care. ABE was closer to the destination but way fewer flights were available. "Um we actually have a flight leaving for ABE in an hour, ERW is more than two hours. You just missed the last flight to Newark." The desk agent explained. "Perfect! Book it. I don't even care what seat I just need to be on that flight." Kim handed over her card to get on the next flight. She checked her back and then ran through the airport getting to the gate right as it started to board. She settled in her seat and closed her eyes. She knew she wouldn't relax but she tried to relax.
She felt the plane starting to move, she felt like she could throw up but she tried her hardest to keep it together. It was a short flight less than an hour and a half before she handed in Allentown. She got off the plane as quick as possible running to baggage claim. She was fidgeting the entire time. She saw her bag grabbing it and running to the rental car desk. She got the first available SUV not caring what it was. Once again running to the car. It was a short ride to the hospital, one she had never been to before. She ran to the entrance as fast as she could checking in and running to his room. She was tired by the time she got there but she was there. She walked in nervous but she was there. "Hi sunshine. I'm here. I got here as fast I could." She held his hand holding it tight not wanting to let go. "He's not been awake much at all but he knows we are here." Rob offered watching the scene before him. "Any changes?" She asked still not looking away from Jim. "No. They are trying to stop the renal failure and then try to fix his heart but the meds he needs for the heart hurt the liver and kidneys. So it's a mess." Rob sighed still watching his father breathing.
Kim stayed there just holding his hand as she sat next to him. It was hours before he opened his eyes. He pointed right at her smiling that she was there with him. "I gave you one of my bracelets. It's a love bracelet. I put it on your wrist so I'm with you always. You know I love you." Kim just stayed there by his side never leaving him. She texted Adam multiple times keeping him up to date on the current situation. He was happy to know she had arrived safely but reminded her to eat and stay hydrated while she was there. She couldn't let herself fall apart. Several hours had passed and Kim needed a break. She decided to head out for something to eat. She also decided to call Adam on the way to the diner. "Hey! How are you holding up?" He asked as soon as he answered. "I don't have a clue. All I know is I'm happy I'm here and he did briefly wake to see me. I'm headed to a diner to get some thing to eat." Kim rambled a bit.
"Well I'm happy he saw you. And I'm thrilled you are heading to get food. That's very important. I'm so proud of you." He was smiling though his heart was breaking for her. "Well this place does have chicken croquettes which is hard to find so I'm indulging before I head back. Visiting hours are over at 8 so I will be there till then." He heard her food happy voice. "Well I have no idea what that is but if it makes you happy and you are eating I'm thrilled. Send me photos of it and you doing the happy dance while eating it." He laughed knowing the shimmy dance was coming. "Alright I just pulled in look forward to the photos." Kim laughed turning off her car. "Alright my love. Take care call me later. Love you." He was still smiling. "Love you too husband!" Kim made a kiss noise before hanging up. She couldn't wait to get her food.
"She's a mess but headed for food and taking a break from his bedside. She was looking forward to something very specific to eat." Adam shrugged knowing everyone wanted to know how she was. "What was she looking forward to?" Kevin asked knowing food was always an issue for her. "Chicken Croquettes?" Adam shrugged having no clue. "Oh I know what that is! It's ground chicken soaked in milk. Mixed with egg, breadcrumbs and spices. Then chilled before it's fried served with gravy. It's an Amish thing I think." They watched Adam laugh. "Well at least she's eating. That's all I really care about right now. She's also taking a break which means she heard me. So I'm grateful for that." He sat at his desk rubbing his face. "Does Jim know she's there?" Erin asked. "Um he woke at one point pointed to her smiling. But he didn't speak. She gave him one of her bracelets to wear so she's with him always." He smiled sadly.
"That's very sweet for her. I'm sure he appreciates it. Just knowing she's there for him." Erin didn't know what to say at that moment. "Yeah it's definitely tough that's for sure. But right now she's hanging tough." Adam knew it might not last. Kim returned to the hospital after dinner and stayed till visiting hours were over. She got to her hotel around 8:30 and just crashed out on the bed. She needed a release but Adam wasn't there. She sent him a text letting her know how frustrated she was. He was at Mollys so he called her right away. "Baby girl! There has to be somewhere close where you can get a toy. Go buy something get the release you need. It's fine. Why you don't travel with one is surprising for sure." He knew the team was gaging. "I can only travel with battery operated ones on a plane. Those aren't as helpful." She sighed. "Darling that bullet thing is only 17 at target. Go buy it and throw it out before you fly home. It's fine. You can't be pent up all week and be helpful at the hospital." He knew she was getting her to cave. "You are right. And it's like two miles away. I'm headed out. Call you later." They hung up quick as she headed out again.
"Is she really going to the store to buy a toy right now?" Antonio asked. "Yeah she's frustrated and needs a release so she's going to deal with it. I agree with that completely." He knew they didn't need to hear that. "Well I think that's the right decision for sure. She's going to need relief while she's there. No matter how long this last. Poor thing is probably in agony dealing with this." They all agreed before changing the topic. "Oh she just sent me several photos. One of her bracelet on his wrist. One of her dinner and her face as she munched on her dinner. She looks in pure heaven." He laughed showing everyone the photos. "I love seeing her happy with food. It's awesome to see." Antonio was so proud knowing how far she came with her food choices and eating. "Yeah I'm so damn proud of her. She's literally night and day from where she was." Adam explained looking at his team. "The photo of his hand with the bracelet is beautiful. So loving and kind. Though his hand looks so frail. I can see why she's so torn over this all." Erin smiled sadly thinking about it.
"Yeah that's what he looked like last time he almost died. I hate this is happening again but she's staying strong and taking care of herself. The fact she ate dinner was huge for her. And this time she's keeping me more in the loop about the minute to minute changes. She's not keeping it all in like last time. Hopefully that stays the course but only time will tell." He shrugged knowing he couldn't predict the future or how Kim will handle all this. They all changed topics knowing it was better to focus elsewhere. They were all laughing about the latest episode in Kevin's dating life when Adam got another photo. He laughed loud. "Thanks for the heads up. It had bad reviews hence why I never bought it." He chuckled a bit. He noticed everyone staring at him. "She's just letting me know something she doesn't like and not to buy it. Which I had already looked at it but the reviews sucked for it so I never got it." He shrugged again.
"Should we assume that's sex related?" Jay asked looking sick. "Yeah it's supposed to be like a tongue but it doesn't work well apparently." He saw some shuddering and some having light bulbs going off. It was amusing for sure. "Yeah doesn't sound like something that could work well." Erin was the only one unfazed by the conversation. "They can't all work good so we test, we learn and if we don't like it, it gets thrown out." He watched them process. "Have you tried things you haven't liked?" Erin asked knowing it was pushing the limits. "No but one thing while a rush it definitely felt unsafe. We both agreed about that. And it was a wish list thing so we tried it, enjoyed it and agreed it felt unsafe. But still thrilled we tried it." He didn't want to give away too much information. "Well sounds crazy whatever it was but it's good that you tried it and now you know." Kevin shuddered. He could only imagine what crazy thing it was. "Yeah it was a good time for sure." His smile let them all know it was crazy for sure. And something they would never do.
"Lord knows I don't want to know what you two did but I'm happy you two are happy. And I hope you didn't get caught on camera." Al commented. "Yeah no one gave two shits in Paris what we did. No camera following us. No one watching us. It was freeing for sure." Adam replied knowing that would explain a lot. "Well that explains a lot. Sex isn't taboo there. Europe is pretty free about it. Was it at least not in public?" Jay asked since he had been overseas for a while. "Not in public. Not that stupid." He laughed a bit. "Oh shit! No you didn't?" Erin stared at him trying to gauge his response. He couldn't help but smile slyly. "Omg! I can't believe you! But at least you did it when you were in Paris. You two are nuts!" Erin cracked up. "Oh man! You two are freaks!" Kevin's shuddered. "Oh please it wasn't like we did anything with other people. And no one was watching us. We played in private that night. And the club checked us for hidden devices and weapons before we were allowed in. It was the perfect place to live out our fantasy." He explained trying to make it seem normal.
"Gotcha! Well I think we are done here. Let's break this all up. See everyone tomorrow!" They all dropped cash on the table as they headed out for the night. He called Kim as soon as he left the bar. "Hey baby! How's it going?" Kim sounded so much more relaxed now. "Hey darling! You sound more relaxed. You enjoyed some play time?" He already knew. "Yup! Feel much less stressed now. Wish it had been you but it worked. How was your day?" Kim asked trying to change the topic. "It was fine. But I was worried about you. Worried what might happen to you. Especially if you hadn't made it on time." He was crushed for her. "Yeah I literally ran through the airport took the shittiest SUV they had just to get something so I could get moving. I wish this wasn't happening. I told him that I know he's ready but I'm not. But I understood. They said he could hear us so I talked. Tomorrow they are moving him to a different hospital that has a Cath Lab. That apparently can monitor his heart function in real time. Minute by minute. Sounds like this new med will just buy time." Kim rambled.
"What's your thought process?" He knew she was thinking something. "The hospital he's in now suggested hospice care. And Jim's cardiologist suggested all these extra meds and tests to try to buy time. I get both sides but he's ready to go. He asked our friend to shoot him. I wish they would see that but they don't right now. So tomorrow we shall see." Kim yawned as she spoke. "Baby. Get some sleep. I will call you tomorrow. I love you." He knew she needed to rest and she was forcing herself to stay awake. "Thank you my love. Be safe. Love you too." She was barely off the phone before she fell asleep. Adam drove to the condo deciding to sleep there since it was closer to work. But it was strange sleeping without her but she was where she was needed most. And he would never deny her the chance to say good bye.