"Hey Rus, so did mom tell you about how she wants to kill me for not coming home for Christmas?", I laugh, looking over to Rusty sitting in our reclining chair, me and Cappie both on the couch.
We were watching whatever was on TV after eating breakfast. It was Saturday and none of us really had plans. The semester was wrapping up so Cappie and Rusty said they were gonna study for finals this weekend. But they were procrastinating it for a while at least.
"Yeah I got a very heated call from her", Rusty nods with a laugh. "I think she just had to vent. But don't worry, I backed you up".
"Thank you", I nod matter of fact. "I'm… kind of annoyed with her right now".
I let out a sigh and then meet Cappie's eyes, him sitting to the left of me.
"Well yeah it was a lot for her to expect you to drive all the way to Chicago when you're 9 months pregnant. And I see your concerns about going into labour. To be honest I feel like mom wants you to come to Chicago for Christmas and then have you give birth there", Rusty laughs. "I wouldn't put it past her to try to induce you and then you'd be stuck there for a few weeks with them".
I giggle then.
"That probably is her master plan", I nod to Rusty with a joking roll of my eyes. "But it's not just the coming home thing…"
I sigh then before speaking.
"She's all on my case about figuring out a legal agreement for custody", I say, just saying it out loud making me upset.
"What? Seriously?", Rusty seems surprised and then looks to Cappie to gage his reaction. "I'm sorry guys, that sucks".
"I know right", I groan.
"Yeah your parents sure do love me", Cap scoffs sarcastically but I can tell it bothers him underneath his humour.
"Don't worry, that's just mom being paranoid. She doesn't even know you Cap. And she's never seen how much you guys lov-", Rusty says and then cuts himself off and backtracks. "How much you guys care about each other".
I'm sure Cappie caught Rusty's slip up just like I did.
"Yeah I just kind of hung up on her", I let out a deep sigh and fold my hands to rest overtop my bump.
I look down at my stomach then, thinking about the baby girl that was going to be here way sooner than I could've ever thought. Part of me hadn't even thought beyond being pregnant. Finding out and then actually being pregnant felt like such a challenge in itself, but actually having her… that was going to be something that no one could prepare me for.
"Well you guys know what's best for your baby", Rusty gives us a comforting smile. "You're old enough to decide what you want to do, it's not like you're teenagers".
"Yeah you're right Spitter", Cappie nods. "Plus… we're not gonna be like, fighting over time with her because we're gonna be together, the three of us".
Cappie says that with a shrug, like it's a given. I love that he's planning for that but I often can't help but look 5, 10, 15 years down the line and hope that it really will be the three of us forever. That Cappie won't give up on me and decide he wants something different. I couldn't even let my mind wander to that possibility, it made me too upset.
"Yeah", I give Cap a smile. "I just have to put it out of my mind. When my mom sees us with the baby she'll understand why we don't need a legal agreement".
"Well… she's not gonna see you with the baby next week, but she will see you and Cappie together at least", Rusty says nonchalantly.
"What? What do you mean next week?", I sit up straight then.
"She and dad are coming for Christmas", Rusty shrugs, obviously having assumed that I already knew.
"What? Really? I extended the invitation but I never thought she'd take it!", I panic slightly now.
"Well… she did", Rusty scoffs, giving me a slight laugh, responding to the panicked look I give him.
"Ugh god! Seriously?", I groan. "I thought I was gonna get away homefree from having to have them over here while I'm already this pregnant and grumpy as ever".
"I can attest to that", Cappie mutters with a laugh and I turn to glare at him.
"Sorry, I'm just kidding. You're always an angel", He gives me a joking smile and I roll my eyes at him and then look back to Rusty.
"Don't look at me! She told me you're the one who invited them", Rusty argues.
"I mean… I did, but… shit, this is my fault", I put my hand on my temple.
"Hey Case, weren't you just telling me that the baby can fully hear conversations now and that we're not allowed to swear until she's out?", Cappie gives me a look.
I narrow my eyes at him for even bringing this up while I was already annoyed.
"Oh who cares? She's already been around while we've done worse", I cross my arms, giving him a look and then going back to sulking.
"It'll be fine Case", Rusty offers. "They said they're just coming for, like, a day".
"Okay", I nod up and down, coming around to this more. "We have to get a game plan guys, get some things straight".
"Like what?", Cappie laughs, entertained by this.
"Well for one, they cannot know that we… share the same bed sometimes", I say to him. "And you can't touch me while they're around… or even allude to having seen me naked".
"Well…", Cappie puts his finger on his lip then, playing up a joking look of confusion. "I don't really think they're gonna buy that Case".
He gestures down to my belly with a laugh and Rusty lets out a snicker too.
"Obviously I know that!", I give him a dirty look. "I meant seen me naked since… since we broke up, since I found out about the pregnancy! They can't know that we're anything other than roommates for the sake of the baby… okay?"
"Sure", Cappie puts his hands up jokingly and then nods to me, clearly not taking this as seriously as I was. "I mean, I'm not the most jazzed they're coming either Case. I was planning on spending the Christmas break with you… drinking hot chocolate, wrapping you up in a warm blanket, putting mistletoes up all around the apartment so that you'd be forced to makeout with me".
He gives me a devilish grin then to my chagrin.
"This is serious Cap! And Rus, you've gotta help me make this go smoothly too, okay?", I look over to him then. "Play up that Cappie's a good guy."
"You know I'm gonna hype up my best friend", Rusty gives Cappie a smile. "You don't even have to ask me to do that".
"Aw thanks man", Cappie grins at him.
"Okay…", I nod, coming around to this a little more. "I guess it is just one day…."
I shake my head then.
"Still… nobody should be subjected to my mom while they're in their last month of pregnancy with a baby pushing down on their cervix!", I complain in a whining voice while I rest my hand back on my temple.
"Really? She's pushing down?", Cappie looks curious then, and a little excited. "I was pretty sure I noticed your belly becoming a little lower down".
He smiles genuinely at me then as I lower my hand from my face to meet his eyes.
"It's called 'lightening'", Cappie explains to me with a grin.
"Lightning? Like the weather?", Rusty questions.
"No, 'lightening' Spitter", Cappie corrects him. "You may know a lot about polymer science, but I've kind of become somewhat of an expert in all things pregnancy".
We both laugh at Cappie then.
"Well I'm happy for you Cap, too bad it's too late to switch your major to midwifery", Rusty jokes with him and I snicker. "Hey you know what I was gonna tell you guys?"
Rusty looks at us excitedly as we both are at his attention.
"You know how I'm taking that biology class as an elective this semester? Well we did a class on the reproductive system and I learned so many cool things", He smiles. "Like for one, did you guys know that when a woman gets pregnant, the DNA of the guy who got her pregnant can actually stay inside her body for decades?! You'd think the guy's DNA would just be in the baby's genetic makeup and be gone when she gives birth, but it actually circulates through the moms bloodstream as well".
"Whoa!", Cappie looks surprised then as we both look to each other, sharing a look.
"So for decades I'm gonna have Cappie's DNA just hanging around in my body?", I laugh then.
"Yeah and it can even go so far as to lead mothers to have attributes of the father of their baby. They can take on their health issues and traits and stuff. One woman who had straight hair her whole life- her hair went curly after getting pregnant because her husband had curly hair, isn't that insane?", Rusty looks elated by this, always loving to be learning new things.
"Man, let's hope you don't turn into a mildly alcoholic frat guy Case", Cappie laughs, giving me a smirk and I giggle.
"Dammit! I'm gonna take on Cappie's traits?", I laugh, playing around with him.
"Hey! That's not such a bad thing", he laughs and Rusty snickers.
"I thought you'd find that cool", Rusty nods.
"It is", Cappie nods and then smirks at me. "Looks like you've got another 15 years with my DNA inside you Case".
He looks mischievous then as he licks his lips.
"And if you guys ever have another baby, it only increases", Rusty adds.
"Ugh god!", I playfully groan and then can't help but giggle.
"Face it Case, you're stuck with me", Cappie gives me a shrug and then smiles with his dimples, enjoying this revelation.
I find it oddly comforting that there was gonna be some piece of Cappie in my body long after the baby's born. I've always thought of that phrase 'you're in my veins' when I thought of Cappie the last few years. How hard he was to shake, even when I sometimes wished I could move on. How he always seemed embedded in my life even when I wasn't dating him.
And, well, now he really was literally in my veins.
Until I'd gotten pregnant I'd never realized how much you were truly sharing with someone when you make a baby with them. Even if it was by accident.
"Well", I sigh and run my fingers along my belly. "It's fine by me".
I look up from staring down at my bump to meet Cappie's gaze.
One hundred percent if Rusty wasn't here right now, Cap's lips would be on mine.
But instead Cappie just gives me a nod and a smug grin, sweet, but winning. Then he looks away sheepishly back to the TV, trying to hide our moment from Rusty.
After Rusty goes home me and Cappie spend the rest of the day studying. Well, he was studying, I was helping by quizzing him. Afterwards we'd ordered in takeout, I had a major craving for chicken strips and fries. Then we turned on a movie.
"Case", Cappie whispers over to me beside him on the couch as I start nodding off a bit.
"I'm awake", I get out in a raspy voice, trying to show Cappie that I could stay up past 10pm.
"It's okay Case", He laughs. "You're super pregnant, you can go to sleep early".
He looks over to me with a smirk.
I'd already changed into my pajamas. Well… one of his t- shirts and a pair of pink stretched out athletic shorts I managed to get on.
"Okay", I nod and sit up slightly. Getting off the couch, or really any surface I sat down on, was not the easiest task these days.
"Here", Cappie gets up, looking down at sleepy 9 month pregnant me with an amused grin, gazing down my body. "C'mon, I'll help you".
He puts his hands out for me to grab and then pulls me up. Even with my extra pounds he was still much larger than me and could take on my weight pretty easily.
I get to my feet then, a little dizzy out of pure tiredness.
I walk down the hall then to my bedroom as Cappie follows me.
I turn around to look at him, sensing his worry.
"What?", I ask, confused.
"I'm just gonna stand near you, I'm worried you're gonna fall", He laughs. "I mean, you're always waddling these days, but this time you look extra… uneven".
I shake my head at him and cross my arms.
"I'm fine", I protest and make my way over to my bed to take my decorative pillows off and onto the floor.
Cappie stands behind me watching me, despite my insistence.
I get into my bed then, happy to finally lay down, my body fairly achey, especially my lower back.
Cap sits down on the edge of my bed and stares down at me.
"Okay goodnight Case", he smiles and then looks down to my belly, which can't be missed under the covers. "And goodnight baby girl".
"She's still wiggling around in here a lot", I sigh, putting a hand on my stomach. "But at least with her lower down I can breathe a little better now".
We both laugh then.
I did really like that the baby had dropped, making my ribs finally not feel like they're being boxed in. But I have to trade that for extra pressure in my pelvic area.
"Good, it means she's coming", Cappie nods as he takes a sharp breath in, nodding. And I finally see it in him, worry. Not that I didn't think he had been worrying these past few months, obviously he'd be crazy not to. But most of the time he didn't harp too much on the future. And if he did, he didn't really show that side to me.
"Yep", I nod. "But… at least we'll meet her soon… and I can not be a whale anymore".
"It's gonna be really cool to meet her. This little person that's a mixture of the two of us", he looks entranced talking about it.
"I know right", I smile at him as he takes my hand in his.
"So… what are you gonna do for the rest of the night Cap? Call your secret girlfriend to come over?", I joke with a giggle.
"Yeah she's already on her way actually", Cap nods, playing along with me as he smirks.
"Well…", I sigh and turn onto my side slightly, carting around my big belly. "I can't really do much, so it only seems fair".
"Stop it", he shakes his head, serious now. "You know there's only you. And we don't have to do anything this next month. I know you think that I have the mindset of a pubescent boy when it comes to sex, but I can wait".
I giggle at him then, my heart fluttering.
"Okay. We'll see, I might have one more left in me", I giggle then as I hold up a finger and he grins his usual grin, giving me a nod as his eyes shine.
"Okay Case. Looking forward to it", he laughs at my joking around. "Is there anything I can get you?"
I turn to look at my bedside table, my water already full.
"No I'm good", I nod. "Thanks though".
"Okay well goodnight. And about your parents…", He looks at me seriously then. "We'll get through it. I can't promise they'll like me, but we'll get through it".
"Okay", I'm thankful for his words as I nod. Then I bring his hand to my stomach. "And it doesn't matter because we like you".
I smile big at him then.
"We?", he laughs.
"Yeah, me and the baby", I nod, my lips pursing into a smile I can't seem to hide.
"Perfect, that's all I need", He nods, looking a little shy as he looks down, focusing on my belly as his hand runs over the covers overtop it.
He gives me one last grin before getting up from my bed.
"Have a good sleep you two".
"Night Cap", I speak softly and then yawn.
He closes the door behind him so I'm in the pitch dark, ready to sleep.
"Yeah did you hear that?", I whisper to the baby. "We love daddy don't we?"
I smile then, thinking about her in there. Having read earlier in the week that she could now hear full sentences, hear conversations, songs, noises.
I hope she could. I'd been really trying to talk to her a lot more lately, whenever I was alone. Because then when she comes out she would know exactly who I am. And I spent enough time with Cap that hopefully she'd know his voice too.
The following week, finals week, brought out the stress in everyone. Rusty, Dale, and even Cappie rigorously studied in our apartment together. While they were doing that, I relaxed on the couch doing my own studying of parenting books, trying to figure out what exactly I was gonna be in for in a few weeks with a newborn.
Even though for the first time since I was in middle school I didn't have actual finals, it honestly felt like something of a finals week for me too, as the baby was inching closer and closer to her due date. I could tell that my body was changing ever further, becoming the largest I've been, and feeling her pushing down, the pressure annoying the hell out of me. Not to mention my feet hurt constantly, and my boobs felt, and looked like for that matter, like I had gotten a boob job.
In Cyprus the weather was crappy, everywhere was playing Christmas music, and I could tell that the mood around here was everyone gearing up to leave for Christmas break. I was especially sad that Ash was going home to Pennsylvania for her family's Christmas and wouldn't be here for two weeks. Even Rebecca was having Christmas with her mom, had told me that she had invited Evan because he was still on the outs with his family. We'll see if Rebecca actually goes home though, because when I've known her she typically changes her mind last minute, making up excuses for the fact that she was really scared to spend time with her crazy family. But I had told her not to worry, that if anyone would understand the dynamics of that type of thing it was Evan. Those two were more alike than they probably realized.
Katherine was going home to Connecticut for Christmas, with Beaver in Cincinnati, which was only a few miles away from Cyprus. Katherine was pretty bummed she wouldn't get to see him much.
We seemed to be the only ones staying here. But even though my parents were going to crash in on Christmas Day and I was uncomfortably pregnant, I was gearing up to have a good Christmas. Because as much as I didn't want to admit it to anyone, getting to spend the holidays with Cappie was the only way I'd want to spend them. And with Rusty down a floor of course.
Tonight I was laying down on my bed, already in my pajamas even though it was only 7 o'clock at night, reading the parenting book I'd gotten from the library. I was currently reading up on breastfeeding and pumping, since I admittedly kind of had no idea how it worked. Cappie was at work till 8. I'd missed him today, not that I'd ever tell him or anyone else that. He had been gone taking a final this morning and then went right to work.
I hear my phone ring beside me and see his name on the screen.
Well, speak of the devil.
"Hey Cap", I answer it, as I can't help the giddy smile that forms on my face, like I'm a preteen girl.
"Hey! I just I wanted to see how you and the baby are", He says cheerily.
"Well she's still in here", I laugh, my fingers grazing across my stomach.
"That's good, she needs to cook as long as possible", Cappie laughs.
"Yep", I nod. "So how's work?"
"It's been good, Beaver's here, Katherine's been way too stressed with finals so he's a little… pent up", Cappie laughs.
"Ugh god! I did not need to know that!", I joke. "Anyway, doesn't he have finals himself?"
"Well… he does if he remembers to go", Cappie remarks with a snicker. "So what're you doing?"
"Just reading about boobs", I joke with him.
"Oh? Am I rubbing off on you? Maybe this is that thing Rusty was talking about, my DNA taking over your body like an alien invasion", Cappie jokes with me.
I giggle then.
"I'm reading about when my milk should come in and how to pump Cap", I say with a laugh.
"Mmm… well if you need a hand practicing before she gets here…", Cappie starts in a joking voice.
"Cap!", I laugh, my cheeks hurting a bit from the way I've been unable to stop smiling.
"Kidding", He says. "But not really, the offer still stands. Anyways Case, I'm off a little early so I'm just leaving now, do you need anything on the way home?"
"No I'm good thanks", I grin, perking up at the fact that he's gonna be home sooner than I'd thought.
"Okay cool, well I just wanted to check in, see how you were doing".
"Thanks", I smile sheepishly. "We're both good here. See you soon!"
"Okay, see ya!", he says and I'm imagining the way he's smiling into his phone similarly to how I am.
We hang up and I go back to my book.
Some horny guys, KT brothers if I had to guess, had defaced this chapter of the book with drawings of boobs. But other than that it was very informative. I guess that's what you get when you go to the school library.
I hear a knock on the door then, startling me slightly. I never had guests that didn't text me first. I really hoped it wasn't Sheila. She kind of freaked me out.
And I didn't think it could be Cappie. He couldn't have gotten home that quickly.
I look through the peephole in the door, telling myself I had to be careful of intruders, I was home alone. But what I'm met with is Ash standing there.
"Ash!", I open the door immediately and I pull her into a hug excitedly. "What are you doing here?"
"Hey Case", She looks a tad downcast. "Sorry I didn't text, I was downstairs at Rusty's tonight and I'm just… I don't know… I'm kind of getting in my head, and you're probably the last person I should be going to to talk about this with but-"
She rambles on nervously but then stops mid sentence to look me up and down.
"Uh what are you wearing?", She laughs, looking at me.
I was wearing Cappie's plaid pajama pants, which dragged on the floor slightly as I walked because they were too long on me, paired with a pink tank top that was pretty tight on my bump. So tight that my midriff, the bottom of the swell of my bump, was showing out the bottom.
"These are the only bottoms that were clean and would fit me", I groan, crossing my arms. "They're not mine, they're Cappie's".
I invite her in then and close the door behind her.
"Mmm", She raises her eyebrows at me in judgement. "So you're just casually wearing your roommates clothes. Hmm, it's almost like you're a couple".
She speaks sarcastically as she gives me a look.
I roll my eyes at her as I blush and then walk over to the couch as she follows me.
"Let's just… get back to your problem Ash", I give her a look, not really willing to get into a conversation tonight with Ash about why the hell I couldn't just man up and tell Cappie how I felt.
"Well", She sighs. "You're really not gonna wanna hear this, because, obviously it's your brother. But… I'm worried that he might not like me like I like him Case".
Ash looks down then, a little sad.
"Ash", I snicker with a shake of my head. "Are you kidding me?! That is so far from the truth".
"You think? Because I don't know Case, we kiss and then things escalate and it's great", She explains and I give her a cringing look.
"Sorry", I shake my head. "This is making me a little uncomfortable but go on".
"Well then… we just stop. And most times, a month into a relationship I'm already well, you know, getting busy with the guy", Ash shrugs.
"So you came here to vent about the fact that my brother isn't sleeping with you?", I grimace.
"Well, yeah", Ash groans. "I know that it's weird but you're my best friend! And Rebecca… well I don't exactly take relationship advice from Rebecca. And I don't want to ask Calvin because he's Rusty's really good friend and… ugh, I'm just confused Case!"
"I'm sorry", I give her a frown, seeing how this is bothering her. "But you cannot think for one second that he doesn't find you attractive. You are a total goddess Ash, and he knows that".
"Aw thanks Case", Ash grins shyly then.
"You're welcome", I laugh. "So, if he's pulling away, it's probably just because he's nervous… or he's taking things slow".
I give her a shrug as she takes this in.
The door opens then and Cappie comes in.
"Case you've gotta lock the door, there's bad people out there and it's nighttime and you're preg-", Cappie immediately starts but then he turns to see the two of us sitting on the couch. "Oh… sorry, I didn't know you were here Ashleigh".
"Don't worry, I had the door locked when I was here alone", I give him a look and then smile. "Ash just came over… she was at Rusty's tonight and is… "
I don't even know how to finish my sentence so I just look to Ash.
"Having a bit of a dating crisis", Ash finishes with a shrug.
"With Rusty?", Cappie questions as he takes his coat off to hang on our coatrack.
"Well yeah", Ash says like it's obvious. "He hasn't said anything to you, has he Cap?"
"No", Cappie shakes his head and then walks over to us. "Only that he can't believe how insanely lucky he is to be dating you."
"Aww", Ashleigh pouts. "He is honestly so sweet. I just don't understand why… he's not progressing things… in the bedroom".
"Oh", Cappie looks back and forth between us awkwardly and then sits on the arm of the couch right beside me. "So that's the crisis?"
He looks slightly uncomfortable with this too, Rusty also being like a little brother to him.
"Yeah", Ashleigh explains. "Maybe it's good you're here Cap, maybe you can explain it from a guys perspective".
Cappie thinks to himself and then shakes his head as he shrugs his shoulders.
"Yeah no, I've got nothing. Any guy I know is pretty well always wanting to have sex", Cappie laughs. "Well with the exception of Dale".
I scoff then at Cappie's comment.
"So… then what is going on?", Ash groans. "Do I smell bad? Do I have something in my teeth?"
"No Ash", I look at her sympathetically. "You look great, it's not you".
"As KT president we usually teach our pledges, and eventual actives, to always be ready for sex at any moment", Cappie explains, smirking. "It's like… a core Kappa Tau value".
I give Cappie a look then, eyes wide, telling him something without saying it.
I typically appreciated his joking nature but it wasn't exactly what Ash needed to hear right now.
"Sorry", He reacts to the look I give him and then looks from me to Ashleigh. "I guess that's not really helping".
"Yeah not really", Ash sulks. "You guys probably can't help me much anyways, I mean you're settled down like two 40 year olds".
"Hey!", I laugh. "No we haven't".
"Yeah we're still young even though we're gonna be parents!", Cappie laughs, taking great offence to this.
"I'll try to be as much help as I can, it's just… he's my brother Ash", I cringe.
"Well maybe I'm just overreacting, I mean you guys waited a couple months to have sex right?", Ashleigh questions.
Ash looks from me to Cappie and then I meet Cap's gaze.
"Well…", I purse my lips awkwardly. "That's just because I was a virgin I think. We started dating officially at the end of September and then it happened at the end of December".
"The longest I've ever waited to have sex with someone", Cappie looks off into the distance and sighs jokingly.
When he looks back to him I give him a roll of my eyes.
"And it was so worth it obviously", Cap immediately backtracks, giving me a smile and putting his hand on my shoulder for a squeeze. "Hey maybe Spitter is a little worried to have sex now that he's seen the possible consequences".
Cap shrugs as he puts a hand on my belly which is bursting out of my tank top.
"I don't think that's it, we'd make sure we're protected", Ash shakes her head.
"I guess… I could ask him but I really don't want to talk to my little brother about sex. He's already had too many awkward moments with me and Cap", I cringe.
"Why what happened? Did he also walk in on you the morning after like I had the pleasure of doing a few weeks ago?", Ashleigh looks at us, speaking sarcastically.
"No it wasn't that bad", I sigh. "Just walked in on us waking up after a night of sleeping in the same bed… Anyway Ash maybe he's just wanting to take it slow? Or just wasn't feeling it tonight. I mean, guys are like us, they're not always at the ready".
I give her a shrug and then an assuring smile, trying to make her feel better.
Cappie tries to contain the way he scoffs then, trying not to snicker to himself.
I turn to look up at him, giving him a slight glare.
"Sorry it's just… guys are always ready Case. Always", Cappie says blatantly.
"Well I know you are", I give him a look, slightly snarky in my tone. "But not all guys are like you Cap. I mean I've only hooked up with four guys, so maybe I don't have that much knowledge about the subject but-
"Wait four guys?", Cappie cuts me off to give me a quizzical look. "Max, Evan, and…?"
Ash starts to snicker then.
"Don't start Ash", I look at her sternly and then sigh deeply. "Okay fine, I was gonna take this to my grave but… after I found out you were dating Rebecca in junior year… I hooked up with this guy, you met him for a little while at Doblers…"
"Tell him the best part", Ash tries to contain her laughter.
"He was in high school", I groan as I shut my eyes in embarrassment.
"What?!", Cappie looks shocked as he starts to laugh then. "Wow… so I drove you to become a felon Case?"
He looks at me jokingly, enjoying this.
"I had no idea he was in high school when I did it!", I defend myself. "It was jealously induced sex that I majorly regretted and not just because he was 16".
I sigh then.
"There there my little cougar", Cappie runs his hand up and down my back as I groan in annoyance.
I feel like just knowing my jealously around him dating someone else led me to breaking down and sleeping with someone random is gratifying to him. Makes him feel happy to know that him being with another girl can elicit that type of jealousy in me.
"Back to your problem Ash… some guys just aren't in the mood 24/7, I've experienced that", I shrug.
"So Evanilla really is vanilla?", Cap puts his hand over his mouth jokingly, this whole conversation amusing for him. "I knew it!"
"I'm not gonna name names", I put my hands up, laughing at Cappie's joking around. "Because that would be inappropriate. But obviously it's not you Cap".
I scoff to myself then as I shake my head with a laugh.
"Obviously not", Cappie grins smugly as he licks his lips. "This is groundbreaking information though… it's going to have me theorizing for days".
I narrow my eyes at him and shake my head.
"Anyway Ash, I think the thing you have to do is just talk to him", I say to her. "Plus, if I know Rusty he'd want the first time between you two to be special and not rushed or whatever".
I shrug uncomfortably as this is the last thing I want to think about.
"Also, was Dale there?", Cappie asks her. "Because that guy can put a real wrench in sex plans with all his talk about God".
"No", Ash laughs then. "Dale was out at a study group, so I felt like it was a perfect opportunity, we had a good night and everything felt right…"
"Why don't I take one for the team and talk to him? I am his big brother and best friend. Also a sex and relationships mentor of such", Cappie grins smugly. "I'll be really subtle about it, don't worry".
"Okay", Ash thinks about it and then nods.
"It's much better than me having to talk to him about it", I add. "That would be downright traumatizing for us both".
"Okay well, thanks guys. I feel a bit better now. This is definitely something we can get through, I really think he still wants to be with me", Ash nods, coming around a bit.
"Of course he does!", I encourage her and Cappie nods in agreement.
"Okay", Ash looks down as she smiles sheepishly. "Well I hope I didn't intrude on your night or anything, I'm gonna get going home now, I have to work in the morning".
"Aw you didn't intrude at all, trust me, I'm pretty bored these days", I laugh and then put a hand on my bump. "Just waddling around waiting for the baby to finally show up".
Ash smiles at me then.
"Well I for one can't wait till she gets here! She's gonna be so cute, like a real life baby doll!", Ashleigh squeals excitedly. "I used to have this doll when I was a little kid and I had all these outfits for her and a little stroller… and I used to think that that would be exactly what having my own baby would be like!"
"Yeah", Cap scoffs sarcastically. "Except for the crying, screaming, crapping, and spitting up".
Both of us look to Cappie with a glare.
"But then again, I wasn't a six year old girl with a baby doll to play with so… carry on", Cap shrugs with a laugh.
"She's gonna be so fun to dress up! I can't wait! She's gonna be like our own real life doll or Barbie Case!", Ashleigh thinks about it happily.
"Yeah okay Ash", I laugh. "You won't have to do any of the hard stuff though. I just spent an hour reading about remedies for when your baby bites your nipples".
I sigh loudly then.
"Ow...", Ash's face twists into a look of horror.
"And don't even get me started on mastitis", I put a hand up as I shake my head with a groan.
"I don't even know what that is and I probably don't want to", Ash frowns "I guess it's definitely not as fun as I thought it would be when I was a kid. Maybe I actually don't even want to have sex anyways".
Me and Cappie laugh then.
"You'll be fine", I giggle. "Just don't be stupid like us and stop using condoms… even if you're one hundred percent committed to each other and think it'll be okay. And don't be loose with your birth control, take it at the same time each day… Also don't get tipsy and then act out because you're scared you're gonna have to move away from your boyfriend".
"What Casey said", Cap adds with a laugh.
"You're like a walking talking poster for birth control Case", Ashleigh gives me a laugh then and I look down to my big belly.
"Yeah", I sigh. "Tell me about it. But… as crazy as it seems, I'm really excited".
I give a small shrug then as I smile, touching across my belly.
"Me too", Cappie nods with a grin, a glint in his eye.
"Well you guys should be, it's gonna be hard obviously, but you guys are gonna be great parents to her", She looks from me to Cappie with a smile.
"Aw thanks Ash!", I pucker my lip.
"You're welcome. Well, I should get going", Ashleigh leans in to hug me then. "And hey maybe soon we'll be able to hug without your belly in the middle of us".
Ash gestures down to my stomach as we both giggle.
"Yep", I nod. "Pretty soon".
We get off the couch then and me and Cap see Ashleigh off, hoping she feels better after our talk.
I turn to Cappie then, once she's gone and he gives me a genuine smile.
"You really are excited about the baby Cap?", I ask him quietly, and slightly tentatively.
"Yeah of course I am", he says like it's obvious. "I know some people would probably say that we shouldn't be because it was unplanned and we're young and weren't together when you found out. Not to mention you and I are still… well, working things out. But I can't help what I feel".
He shrugs then as he meets my eyes bashfully.
"I'm excited for all of it", He ends his sentence and gives me a nod, smiling still.
I lean up to hug him then, getting as close to his body as possible, our baby in the middle of us in the way.
He starts to laugh then as he puts his arms around me, responding to my hug which I think has caught him off guard.
"What's all this for?", He laughs as I hear his voice next to my ear, me still leaning against his chest in our embrace.
"Nothing, I just really missed you all day", I confess, which is slightly easier to do when I'm not looking directly at him.
We part then as he pulls away from me slightly, wanting to see my expression I think. My words having surprised him.
"You did?", He seems like he wouldn't have expected that.
"Yeah of course I did", I say like it should be obvious to him.
He nods his head as his dimples show, his attempts to hide the smug grin forming on his lips not really working.
"Well I'm here now", He speaks quietly, looking into my eyes with a soft expression.
He leans down to plant a soft kiss on my lips then, quick, but sweet.
"Good", I nod, feeling vulnerable, exposed.
But also feeling exhilarated. And happy.
And at home here with him.