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The following is a fan-based

FICTION

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Chapter 13: Bad Number, Red [Ass] Flag

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Mondstadt had been attacked at the same time I got home-invaded.

I couldn't help but understand the logic of getting through my heart by literally attacking an entire city as a distraction for any potential ass-savers, but boy I was glad that Lumine is bad at math because she sure fucked up her numbers. The Girl n' Bird plus who I have slowly started to suspect being the Pyro Archon but Naruto were quite the lovable guards before we got to Mondstadt. Pikes and pikes set down by Hilichurls trying to blockade the city's main entrance were blocking our part.

Worry not, I have a lighter and enough gasoline to cleanse the tainted wood. Likewise, the potential Pyro Archon giddily started to swing his flame sword around and broke through most of that shit on his own. I swear, that sounds way too cool and I need a fucking fire sword to... I don't know[, burn people].

Still, cleaning up is nice and swell, but heroes need to be thanked. And no, I was, sadly, not the hero, but the damsel-with-a-pecker that was much needed by a certain 'hero' that is actually the Wind God. Venti was tired, good boy had gone out, saved his best buddy, pretty much set down a failsafe in case someone trying to steal his juicy godly powers, and was craving for a dicking.

You see, people get a bit awkward after serious moments. Kind of like Klee where she was literally quick to fall in the hug I gave her as a greeting. Poor thing has been working hard on bombing the illiterate back to the pre-Stone age era. Good girl, but the kid needed her sleep and it took a while to detach me from myself, with Jean trying to pull her away, but ending up slamming her boobs onto my mask a few times. And yes, I noticed.

Still, Venti's reasoning for us to have this 'second date' within the city was one and the same. The denizens of Mondstadt weren't exactly accustomed to me, so making the way back felt, in his opinion, too 'stressful' for me due to the many curious people there. His solution to this problem? He wanted to be my Cicero for the place were we could lay down. Did you know that the upper tower of the Cathedral in Monstadt was unused? I didn't, but Venti had known for long enough to prepare a few bottles of wine, a mattress and candles to make it somewhat sensual.

In a way, I could tell this was quite fitting. The Cathedral was Barbatos' house, [so why shouldn't he be allowed to get ass and pussy bred properly in there?]

It was the right sort of pleasant, if not enthralling and it made me feel [romantical.] giddy. Plus, I didn't have to think about the notion that a certain missing sister is trying to Onee-san me into an early snu-snu grave. That wasn't that gucci, and I refused to be entertained by brotherly affection of the [murderous] loving kind. I wasn't even sure John Impact could swing at all if even that way.

Still, more banging less pondering. Venti's butt was tighter than usual. Stress can do that when you feel in a slutty mood. Likewise, her feminine form had the tightest pussy possible as she had one goal in mind and, truth be told, it had me fucking like a thirsty man would for the sake of sweet and delicious water.

"I want you to fuck me as if this would end with you with child. Fuck me with belief and determination and- ah~ I shall maybe make you my mate."

Would that give me the chance to still fuck around?

"Duh~."

I'll allow it.

Ladies and Gentleman, this is not a boss battle. In fact, I doubt it could even be considered gameplay considering the current circumstance[, quite... sus, if not too spicy for the femboy lovers]. Still, it was a struggle. Fem!Venti had a special ability that made me wonder if she was a rank higher than his guy self: the fact her womb was milking me dry and yet yanking it right so to make me pull numerous 'second winds'.

I felt a bit toyed bit, but the sheer amount of ass-slapping that I delivered was enough to make the entire situation fall in a gray area. After all, the sheer abuse the bitch moaned over as her red butt got even more teased through pain and pleasure was clearly the finest mix of masochism and amusement.

Still, the sheer amount of creampies seemed enough of a sacrifice for Barbatos' full relief as the feminine deity of the Anemo kind was nursing her inflated belly and giggled.

"If only~ But no, I can't get it to work. I suppose you being a Hilichurl may be preventing an impregnation."

Well shit, thrice-damned in a world of blessings. I suppose I can try to find a way around that.

Will find a way to breed your pussy n' bussy up then.

Venti giggled. "If you need any help, I may offer you some."

She reached for two bottles of wine, offering me one as she sighed. "You know, I... I suppose it's nice to have a secret buddy."

I blinked, deciding against answering that through paper as Venti wasn't done yet.

"I... I once had a friend. A good friend. I took this form after him. So nice, so wonderfully nice and... cursed by the need to be a good person. The responsibility was indeed well-placed, but-"

She sighed, leaning down and sipping from her bottle. "He didn't make it. He faced the tyrant that once ruled this country, laying his life for a cause that sees only me as the only one that remembers. They only know that the people took arms, not that he was the one that rallied them into an united front."

I leaned closer to her, the girl happily letting me cuddle up with her.

"Do you think it's wrong for me to angry at that? That... in the end, they don't even remember the name of the one that give them hope?"

I shook my head. "Oh, and would you want me to lay waste of Mondstadt then?"

I frowned, picked a piece of paper but she stopped me.

"I want you to 'say' yes or no. Trust me."

I sighed, narrowing my eyes at the cheeky demand. I shook my head.

"So, I should just struggle for forgetfulness?"

Once again, I shook my head.

"Then what should I- Oh?"

I poked her nose, booping it. She paused, then frowned as she realized what I was trying to tell her.

"Me? As in Venti should be the one struggling?"

I nodded and I aimed a finger at his lyre.

"By being a bard, I should tell them- but what if-" I placed the finger on her lips and gave her a long look.

Barbatos sighed. "I guess I am a bit overworked by this. I forgot Dvalin and this is how it ended, it could have been all avoided if I had looked more into it. But... I guess I am not that good of a god, heh?"

French-kissing ensued at that absurd claim. Venti was outmatched by the tongue-play and the groping. More sex ensued, this time with me mating-pressing the silly bitch into being a bit less depressed and more understanding of the fact that her value was higher than she set herself to have it as.

I am a positive-fucker, not any of those edgy bastards with no life. Venti was a happier being by the end of that, and I was a more victorious monkey once the day came to an end. The next day was... similar to this one, but less troubled by other issues as Jeanne was there and so was her 'little' sister.

She may be shorter, but those tits are indeed divine. I praise thee, Barbatos~.

Barbara was quick to start a lengthy speech over the fact that Barbatos would be thanking us for our good service to this city. I was tempted to say I was thanked enough by Barbatos through the offering of tight solace and intense release, but I was afraid that would have led to the end of the only Idol this world had. Not a Vtuber [sadly] but Barbara was someone that deserved to be celebrated [while also being paraded around by the many horny DILFs in the area.]

I don't know how Barbara knew what an idol is, she didn't even to seem aware of the full meaning of that world, but the way she posed, used her Hydro power to create cute sights- this was some unusually-correct Idol stuff. How? I couldn't exactly ask on the spot, not when we were being granted thanks by 'Barbatos' for being good people. John Impact was now the 'Honorary Knight of Favonius' with Paimon and... I hesitated a moment before leaving the cathedral. It was the strange feeling that something was going to happen if I left and-

Wait, don't tell me that today is-

I pulled the door open, just in time to see Fatui agent cast the Cryo shit on Venti and John Impact. The amusing bit? They were in range of specialized legs-breaking bonking attacks. After channeling my inner chimpanzee Mobster neurons, I allowed the club to move with the wind and claim as many broken bones as possible.

"AH!"

"WHA-WHAT THE-!"

Two down and now it's the turn for-

"So, you are really here," A sultry voice dictated, a strange familiarity terrifying me as this sounded like the repeat with a certain Ara Ara bitch.

Then again, 'Signora' had the milkers and the frame to enforce a natural 'Ara Ara' power.

Right as I readied my bonking club for more murder, I felt my body suddenly paralyzed by a sense of cold. I felt a pull and soon I had my neck firmly being choked by [mommy] Signora.

"John Bukharin, an Hilichurl that has gained the interest of the Tsaritsa. What a peculiar reason to-" Her voice died a tiny bit as a mix of anger and shock flashed in her violet eyes while I tried and failed to distract her the best way I could on the spot. By groping her boobs.

Turns out that she was somewhat accustomed to this, or I wouldn't understand how she just shrugged that off with ease.

"Q-Quite the crass little mongrel, aren't you?" She rebuked.

"No- Y-You can't-"

"Shut it, rat," The woman mumbled holding me firmly... while her other hand was holding something else. It was green, it felt powerful and- Wait, is this the thing Venti told me that held his powers?

Fuck, that's important.

I tried to kick in that directly to get it out of her clutches, but she just keep it out of her reach.

"Feisty little monster. I am sure a week spent in the cold dungeons of the Zapolyarny Palace will cool your disgusting traits."

Fuck, I don't want to die in Siberia.

I struggled a bit more at that, but I felt my energy drained as she coated me in Cryo Energy, mellowing my muscles and... slowly depriving me of my consciousness with the choking.

One moment, I was trying to keep up, the next I felt the cool wind of Mondstadt replaced by a more oppressive and freezing storm that tortured my cultured brain through the remainder of my slumber.

I woke up some time later, and I was indeed in a cold cell. I was no longer in the Land of the Anemo Lord, I was in the land of the Sneezes!

AN

Monkee has been kidnapped. I repeat, the monkee has been kidnapped. Prepare for some abuse of the lack of lore about Snezhnaya with a sprinkle of kinky loyalties seeded within the high court of the country. Plus... Something in there... feels... familiar to John.

REVIEW Q&A!

Loner Soul: Yup, which is where the unedited pic is from.

Runelt99: Max0r's video. And she had a deep case of the horni training to be ready for 'her' John.