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The following is a fan-based

FICTION

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Chapter 14: Monkej Unchained

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Hello, John here. I am not a little loli Vtuber, but I may as well wish I was compared to Gulag Prisoner no.336942.

Because, let us remember that Monty Python already warned us- you go to Soviet Russia, you get sent to Gulags for the holidays. [Tourists would love this place so much, that I doubt they would allow themselves out of it.] That and the fact Guards would kill them on sight but- oh right, I am no tourist, I am a bit of a settler.

And Prison Break sounds like an excellent way to thaw the cold hearts of the White Army. First thing first, a quick assessment: the cave-like cell I woke up stuck in was cold, humid, quite small and definitely giving me the Soviet Russia vibe to a degree some may die of starvation and hypothermia. Luckily for me, the NKVD didn't have the means to prod my innocent hole known as the 'Inventory' and couldn't fish out the nuclear arsenal at my disposal.

Still, I couldn't exactly blast my way out of jail without a care in this world. After all, demented as my mind may be, I knew I was deep in Santa's balls and that any loud action may result in a quick gameover by Elsa's freezing my ass. And at that point, the cold would bother me very much.

So, I had to do it with style. With the trendy fashion only a monkey of my grade and madness could cook inside what is my pretty underdeveloped brain.

SPLAT!

[And no, I didn't go poopy.]

One of the guards jumped in surprise when he felt something wet and creamy hit the back of his head. He reached out and found something orange latching on his head. He gave it a sniff, then a lick and frowned as he turned to look at me as I was holding another Sunsettia-flavored Creampie which promptly slammed onto his face.

His other buddy caught up with the messy development, eyes narrowing at me in shock as he retrieved some keys to open the cell.

"H-How do you have pies on you!?" He demanded loudly, thinking that the cream-filled sweet goods were the only things at my disposal.

He had a correction for his mistake right as he entered inside and got bashed out and against the opposite wall with a solid bonk in the head. His pied buddy recovered from the sweet surprise to find the club of justice smacking the consciousness out of him. He fell with a deaf thud, leaving me to gauge how chillingly hollow these halls are. I swear, this was just meant to terrify prisoners and guards alike.

Still, I had to bail from there and I had a feeling that these halls were heavily guarded to prevent a jail break. And since the changes of guards would happen frequently, standing there to realize I may get my ass troubled again by the Spaghetti KGB was not a good option to rely on.

Rather than doing that, I took a secondary route in the form of the primitive ventilation system up above after arching the unconscious bodies of the guards to boost my jump. There were no fans around, so the system had to rely on something which allowed the air to filter around without major dispersion. In layman's terms, there had to be multiple exit points for the vents which would allow me to escape.

Technically speaking, that was indeed the case. There were openings within the tall ice mountain I was currently stuck within, the castle just above much higher than I would have expected. The issue was that these openings were set... very high above potential death by fall damage. And while I knew the world had means to softening a landing like that, I didn't have said equipment on it. [Which was sad since I wanted to be Ratman for once. And yes, I totally meant Ratman. Flexing my muscles and falling into the oblivion~.]

So, Route A was sucky without a parachute. Route B was look around for alternative methods of escaping. Turns out that there were labs around. So yes, beyond the KGB, the Pizza-Counterfeiters were also employing Mengele's style of experiments. You could just feel how many twins were made through this inhuman circumstance. Twins and mechanized people. As in people that were turned into bots.

Despite the inherent disgust [in hearing the Erika March song ring into my ears], I still felt something deep within calling for me. And I didn't like it. It was like something was pulling at my heart, not even putting me through a date or trying to pay for a hour of desires by the bed. I felt a bit used, which elevated my predicament within the sussy-meter. First a vent, now the need to find a target- I guess you can say I am more of a red than a blue. But the issue is that the source of my perplexed search was not among us, it was beyond us and yet within reach.

My crawling took several minutes, and I saw numerous guards scrambling to try and find me as they had found the beautiful work of art and food I left during my jail break. I felt the love just trickling onto my soul at seeing so many people spewing swear words to remark how shitty of a situations they were going to be if I wasn't caught by them on time. Seems like the Tsaritsa wanted me alive- not breed but rather... 'talked' with. Which was bad because I have grown to have people wanting to talk with me for reasons that I didn't know.

[Why couldn't they just accept I was just a mere peasant with British needs to exterminate people?!]

Ignoring my self-whining, my long crawling ended with me stumbling upon a small unused room. No lights around, lots of dust that would trigger the sudden death of people allergic to this shit and... something glowing in the dark. Something glowing purple, tempting me with its sensual sparkling and almost calling me daddy through imaginary mental chit-chatting.

Dear Lord, what sort of witchcraft did I stumble upon? And the answer to it was a small violet orb contained in an elaborated metal-like container. That symbol in the middle of it was... Electro?

Peculiar, and yet worrying as it suddenly floated up, 'turned to look at me' and yeeted itself at me. I tried to bonk it away, but its pace was quicker than my reflexes, and I got struck with a 'thunderous' bonk on my mask. One moment I was standing, the next I was slipping on an imaginary banana's peel and felt my body twitch and writhe in brief pain as I felt my lack of purity filled by the pale of understanding of my true self.

- VISION 1 -

The ground all around was exploding, the dark-red cubes tearing through the hills and causing magma to erupt as the world around us was ending.

"S-Sorry!" The blonde I was carrying mumbled, leg bent in an unpleasant way as she got hurt while helping me against a few big-ass robots.

"Can it! We are going to make it!" I exclaimed, rushing through the hell that was encircling us. My legs were hurting under the strain of fear, danger and a quickly-depleting stamina which wasn't giving me much of a hopeful state of mind as I noticed the large divide that obstacled our escape. There was a group of people trying to help survivors, so we had to make it and... the divide broadened fast as I jumped.

We were not going to make it, I felt horror as I looked down at the hungry stream of hot red surging from below and trying to get us.

But right before it got the chance to get us, a floating slide of ice formed under us and allowed the two of us to make it through and into safety as someone got close to us to check our conditions.

"Are you two alright?" The nervous woman asked, and I looked up with a glance that showed her what we needed.

Hope.

...That was something.

I looked down and yes, my hands were human, my abs were human and my loincloth made me feel like Conan the Barbarian except less Austrian- wait a moment! What did just happen? I slowly stood up, quickly realized I was once again a tall boy. And that my original face was back with some more hair on my beard. I was stunned, but not too much as something was still the same. My brain still ached with demented thoughts of world-conquering via the enslavement of the uncultured ones.

Right now, I had to get back the shit that was stolen to Venti. If possible. And after I found a way out of this little Siberian holiday trip. Looking around the room, I tried to find something to put on. While I would proudly stroll Monstadt in a loincloth even in my newly-regained form, I doubted I could just waltz in and use my stupid-sexy form to seduce half the country.

Plus, the fear of Hypothermia was still quite high even though I now felt a bit warmer. Which was odd at first since I now lacked the extra fur that covered my neck, but that I quickly found was coming from the orb that had just latched onto my bag... and another one which was devoid of any color or symbol as it was pure white.

I had many questions and no time to lose about it as I could entertain that later on. I finally found some low-tier uniform to put on while also hide away the orbs since I had a feeling those could cause me trouble if shown around. The violet clothes fit just right with me [after trying to force my sexy old and yet new body into a few of those tighter ones].

I was finally out of the shadows and back in the halls as I paced fast upstairs. I 'greeted' a few nervous guards around as they continued the search for a 'naughty monkey' or whatever they were looking for. I was no Monkee, not right now at least. And I had a job to find a way out. Turns out there was indeed a potential way out which was somewhere at the edge of the settlement around the palace.

Some sort of old 'transport system' with wagons. A primitive train to a degree. It would lead to Sumeru which, while it wasn't Mondstadt, it was a country that wasn't actively trying to murder me through the cold and the KGB. Before I could go and check on this so I could have a greater understanding of what I would need to bring the train to action, I was stopped by a tall guy with a giant electric hammer. He looked really angry and somewhat... worried about something.

"Identify yourself, tovarish!" The senior officer barked and I tensed up before adopting a most soldier-like posture and delivering the fake name I had for my current mask. That's a humonguous hammer.

"Private Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, sir!"

"At ease, Private Ilyich Ulyanov. I need your help for an important task!"

That's sudden, and nothing that would normally ease me down. But I didn't falter about my acting for any moment.

"Anything for the Tsaritsa and our Motherland!"

He smiled, clearly pleased by my Pseudo-Soviet zealotry.

"Good, then you shall be ready for the task at hand. Reach the second floor of the palace, the room beside the red vase. In there, you shall be briefed for the whole mission. Hurry up then, Private!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

And I bolted away from the guy, hiding away by sour mood at getting yanked from my ambitious escape plan to service the people that have tried to turn me in a macaque-shaped ice cube. The palace was massive, with its traditional and spartan looks clashing with a few machineries which created quite the unusually perfect constrast of old and new.

I saw several agents of various sizes and ranks move around. None stopped to put me through another secondary quest as I focused on this one. Good, at least I wasn't going to face multiple secondary missions that would delay my plot to make a 'run for it'. Once I found the door mentioned by the officer, I paused to study the door and... knocked.

"Come in." A stern female voice called, urging me to comply as mommy demanded.

I was greeted by a fairly big room which looked to be a normal bedroom. As in with a bed. And two women there.

"Wow, this one is quite young," The shortest of the two commented and her design was unusual and sussy.

Three pairs of wings originated from the rear of her head, the roots vanishing under her dark hair. Her eyes were closed, with a white net-like face band covering her upper visage. Her white uniform was contrasted by the black-furred collar she was wearing.

"It's clear that this experiment is frightening the men too much. And perhaps this is all for naught," The other woman, the tall one which commanded my entry, was quite the mature beauty.

Her short silver hair mixed with a few black locks. Her eyes were black with red 'x's in the middle of the irises. She was wearing a white waistcoat over a black shirt, a pair of black pants tightly showing how curvy her hips and rear were together with her supple bosom. She was the one that looked the most dangerous in the room.

"Oh, that's not the case! Yet~!" The 'blind' girl announced, turning to 'look at me'. "So, how about you introduce yourself?"

I took a respectful pose. "Private Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov at your service, ma'am!"

The 'wing girl' giggled. "Ilyich! What a cute middle name, don't you think, Arlecchino?"

...Hold up. Arlecchino? Like the classic mask for Italian Theater? Wait, is this why that bitch is called 'La Signora'?!

The other woman scowled. "Let's just get to business. Private, I am sure you are familiar that anything that is said or done in this room will not leave it or you will face serious consequences, right?"

I nodded. "Everything shall be a secret, ma'am!"

"Good, then let's drop pretenses and remove the bandaid all at once," Arlecchino continued. "As Harbingers, our duties demand our utmost focus and attention. Our carnal needs should never obstacle that priority, which is why Columbina and I had many times entertained an agreement to assure our own libido under check."

"But there have been some mishaps in how equally that is done," Columbina quipped, the scowl on the silver-haired girl worsening. "I am not... good at pleasing her. I am inexperienced, but my beloved Knave is something of a... difficult lover."

The 'Knave' scoffed. "I am not difficult. It's just... difficult for me."

I bowed my head. "I see. But... what is the point of my assistance then? How should I aid you?"

Columbina raised her hands up in the sky. "Help me in being a proper charmer of ladies!"

Arlecchino facepalmed at this and... I had to hold back a smile. Did I just find a fellow woman of culture? She was just a weeblet at the moment, and she needed guidance. Indeed, this was a chance to instill a sense of padawanship within these fools.

"For the Tsaritsa, I shall do this for the two of you."

And before I knew it, the mere lesson turned into me being the director of a porn scene while a happy Columbina stared at a very curious and quite uneasy Arlecchino as she undressed by the bed.

This is just getting even more pogger than I imagined it possible~.

AN

Fake Lenin teaches a murderous deredere and a tsundere how to have proper wholesome and steamy lesbian sex in the name of the proletariat. It goes horny.

Also, a few needed notes: John found a Vision, and a second one manifested. The Electro Vision recognizes him as familiar but not truly its old owner. Likewise, his 'transformation' is not permanent because of it. And this will not be the end of the monkey business- but rather the 'boldening' of all sorts of bullshittery to ten times the capacity my brain can handle.

By the end of the day, I will be a malding dingus, but all for the greater good. And the wet bitches' sake!

Also, using this chance to drop in a bit of an important news, I have started an original story called The Kobold Emperor. It's available on Royal Road and Questionable Questing, and it involve a High Fantasy setting, an Insert (not SI tho), some debauchery, lots of lore such as maps, history of countries and even an outright timeline I am currently building- all of which is quite original despite people assuming I am copying from Re:Monster and similar franchise with similar topics.

REVIEW Q&A!

mandvisahuxx111: It would have been weird if it had been Aether wanting the monkee's ass.