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The following is a fan-based
FICTION
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Chapter 27: Contractual Information
P.S. I now have a discord server! Discord .gg/ceBMM2Zz6c
Also Pxtreon: P a treon . com (slash) socialistbukharin
A new morning over Liyue came, and time was of essence as Shenhe and I woke up early.
After getting something to eat for breakfast, we both started to explore the harbor for a rather important element in what I needed to stop the Fatui: get Morax to tell me more on what was going on with her and Tortellini. I may not know much of the plot up to this point, but I remember her (or him in the game) chatting with the bastard, and I have a feeling they may have a degree of friendliness going on.
Still, finding her was tied to also handling an individual I wasn't mentally ready for and I had to educate Shenhe on being on her 'best behavior' and 'not take any mention of her own death as a threat by the individual we were going to face'. That only served to leave the tall girl tense, but she seemed to instantly pick up that the source of it was... not a threatening issue.
"Welcome to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, we have a buy two get half of a third one too offer," The familiar troublesome brunette behind the counter greeted. "I am the Director, Hu Tao, how may I help you?"
The place was close to rundown. I wouldn't say that Hu Tao was to blame, but considering how crappy her ads were, it was clear she was struggling to get the business to yield as much coin as it should be. A shame, really, but it wasn't something I was interested- her economic status, that is.
Hold back a scowl, John. She is very useful for what I have in mind to do...
"Hello, I am Sir Conan Holmes and I was looking to buy a custom-made coffin for the near demise of a nemesis of mine."
The girl looked delighted. "Really!? I-I mean, sure, there is nothing better than provide your arch-enemy with a proper burial. Do you want me to take measurements or-"
"Actually, if I may interject," A more mature voice remarked, and we all turned to see... Morax. Yep, she looked happy. "Director, I know Sir Holmes as a close friend of mine... If I may."
"Oh! It's not a problem, Zhongli," Hu Tao assured, clearly more excited by the prospect of having a client but being fine with someone else handling it. "I will be there if you need any help."
Jesus, she looks so giddy for a client despite the reasoning behind the order.
Morax, or Zhongli as she wished to be called, took us to one of the rooms where wood and some pre-made coffins were stored.
"John... I am glad you sought me out. I thought you would have taken more time to consider the implications of the circumstances binding us."
"I may have some dilemmas to personally check once this is wrapped up, but the Fatui are plotting and it may damage Liyue," I pointed out, drawing a nod out of Zhongli and... "You already knew that."
"I know that the Fatui are acting against the harbor, but I do not have any awareness of their current plans."
"I see... Well, I guess we can start with the 'work' first. How tall is Tortellini?"
"Hm? You mean Childe?" The 'simple woman' asked, looking surprised for a bit. "I thought it was just a 'ruse' to find me."
"It's that and a bit more. After all, I wouldn't deny their family to retrieve his corpse once I am done with him."
"That's... I am sorry, but it sounds a bit excessive. He may behave abrasively but-"
"He smacked me down a mountain and came close to kill me, Rexy," I replied flatly, interjecting and dropping some pretenses. "I get it. I am not the guy you had some deepness with and you do have a friendship with the guy, but he is planning to kill civilians and that makes him a threat. Plus, I am angry at him for trying to kill me."
...
"I suppose I can prepare something..."
I was actually stunned by her acceptance, but she wasn't done talking.
"However, if I may ask due to our now-dubious relation, why is young Shenhe smelling of you now compared to how 'pure' she was yesterday?"
The aforementioned girl tensed up in dread, her stoic mask holding but her cheeks flaring at being caught about it.
"Foreplay, no sex," I admitted smoothly, stunning both women with that boldness and lack of shame. "She is a maiden, just a little less innocent and ignorant when it comes to sexuality of the basic kind."
Zhongli hummed. "Curious, the John I knew of was quite sheltered in regard to promiscuity. Any particular experience that may have gotten you so... brazen about it?"
"Would you believe it that I was my 'alternate form' is a hilichurl and some girls have favored it despite my... well, lack of height?"
"...I would not," Morax admitted truthfully, yet she was a bit tense about it. "So... you can turn in a hilichurl."
"It was my form when I got there, which I know wasn't a thing with the original John Bukharin," I remarked and flinched a bit. "Also, don't mention this with Hu Tao. We have a bit of a... 'quandary' with my John Bukharin self."
"Why?" Zhongli asked curiously, almost smiling at this as she realized it wasn't too serious. "The director may be quite flamboyant, but I see no particular topic which would prompt any major dislike out of her."
"She wants a certain zombie assistant at the Pharmacy to be buried. Said zombie girl is a friend of my daughter."
"...Daughter?" Morax looked lost at this point.
"It's related to a prior commitment made by my 'predecessor'. Let's just say there's another Archon in Liyue at the moment. Dendro."
That seemed to please the Geo Archon. "Curious, would it be fine for me to meet her?"
"Only after this mess is wrapped up. Speaking of which, do you have any information on what they are doing?"
Zhongli nodded. "I may have a clue where they will try to operate the most. However... I wish to claim a price for an information contract."
...What?
"Seriously?"
She smiled widely. "As you mentioned, you are not the same John I am familiar with, so it would be erroneous of me to just grant you this information without a price."
...
"The price being?"
"A night of unrestrained passion and potential breeding. I wish to test the 'main difference', if possible."
...
"Deal."
"So sudden-"
"But don't complain if you get addicted," I interrupted, sounding serious. "Like, you sound pent-up with that request and your behavior, so I think that will get you too hooked about it."
"...I am capable of self-control."
That much she didn't sound so confident about.
"Now, with the contract handled, you will find that they have been acting around the Guyun Stone Forest, where Osial was once sealed away."
...
"They really are ready to cause that big of a crisis, aren't they?"
"The Cryo Archon can be quite ruthless if she loves a country this much. She was once fond of Liyue and... your predecessor was responsible for it."
Oh. Oh shit.
Despite that implicit fault, I wasn't pushed on it. Zhongli promised that the coffin would be ready once the 'issue was solved', which made the chance of putting the bastard in a coffin at once quite unlikely. Still, I was not going to forget the order as Shenhe and I shifted out of the Funeral Parlor with the next task at hand.
"Where next?"
"The docks. I need to check a ship."
One thing that the message I gave Nahida was quite simple: to meet up at the docks. The point was that the docks were quite far from any potential onlookers and it was a safe haven for 'foreigners'. Likewise, I needed to check on a specific ship I had started to personally work well before the Fatui had been growing more 'annoying' in town.
It was in preparation for the big boss battle that was coming up. I could remember some memes about it getting nuked, but I wasn't aware of when or how it would come up- now I was aware of the means, so I knew its resurrection was soon and... a Water God.
While my face betrayed no amusement, I could only giggle inwardly at the sheer destructive reaction that the Dendro-flavored explosives were going to cause with that big target~.
Right as we reached the docks, I started to look around for Nahida. She should have been there already and-
"Hey! Catch!"
I turned in time to see a petite frame raining from above and I quickly caught her mid-air. I blinked, my heart beating fast and- I frowned flatly at the smiling face of a rather cheeky daughter of mine.
"Nahida."
"Hi, dad. You're taller than I expected."
"And you got a bit naughtier than usual, uh?"
"Nurture is to blame. A few days without my father can do so much," She mirthfully replied. "Still, I am glad to see that you are well and... with a good guardian."
The last comment was aimed at Shenhe, the tall girl nodding. "I am Shenhe."
"Nahida," The Dendro Archon hummed, "Still, dad, I suppose you have much to tell me on what happened. I am really curious!"
I smiled. "There's a lot to say and... a lot to plot, Nahida."
That made her quite happy. She liked to plot after all.
AN
Nahida likes her dad more when he is tall. And Morax is a frustrated horni dragon-girl.
Memery shall return quite soon as the monkee's human form will be 'stripped' by something.