Chapter 1

For all First Year Students it was mandatory for students to join a club. For Ranma Saotome, he thought himself above such things. His only interest was martial arts, and the closest club equivalent to his standards (the martial arts club was a joke and it had only two members since its seniors graduated last year) was the Kendo Club. And there was no way in hell he was going to join it, especially with Tatewaki Kuno as its head.

The student council administrators were pushing Ranma to join a club and he had gone around and checked out all of them in his spare time, but none of them suited him. Nevertheless, joining a club was about participating within a social construct and making friends, it helped form lasting bonds, but he had enough "friends" to last a lifetime. Or, rather friends who were enemies—Ryoga being the front runner.

Ranma shrugged and decided to think about the decision later, but if push came to shove—he would join a sports club. So far, he had been lucky and had not been forced to decide.

Maybe, I should join the Track Team? I definitely get enough "exercise" with Kuno and the Head Master chasing me around, trying to beat me down, or tryin' to cut off my pigtail.

He chuckled at the thought as he exited the bathroom. He walked down the empty hall on his way back to his classroom, drying his hands with a paper towel. He had asked permission to leave class.

But if running was a sport, he continued to think, then he was a bonafide expert at it, and that irked him a little, as he also ran away from all the girls that wanted him as their suitor, Ukyo, being one of them.

Okay, I'm good looking. But looks can be its own curse along with my Jusenkyo one. I have enough problems.

Going through the list, Ukyo was the most rational amongst his would-be suitors.

Ranma's father had promised marriage to Ukyo's father as payment for her father's business cart years ago, but then ran away and reneged on it. Since then, Ukyo had followed Ranma to Nerima, set up a business, and joined the same high school. Talk about being a stalker, he thought.

He chuckled at that thought, too. He liked Ukyo, but as a close friend. She was his closest friend, in fact. And he didn't want anything to ruin that friendship. She wanted their relationship to go to the next level. He didn't.

Suddenly, his eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of the Student Council President walking down the hall, the reason unknown, and Ranma quickly sidestepped down a corridor, out of sight. The last thing he wanted right now was to be interrogated for an answer about what club he would be forced to join. If he had a choice, he would build his own—a new martial arts club. But he didn't have time for that or wanted to waste the energy.

The halls were quiet, so when he heard the president continue to seemingly follow him, Ranma ducked into an empty room, and shut the door. Her footsteps kept getting louder and he wondered if she was headed this way, to this very room. He quickly looked around and found a storage closest cabinet and opened it. He shouted out in fright when suddenly he saw Gosunkugi, the schools resident voodoo freak, hiding in it, like some sort of ghoulish monster.

"Gosunkugi, what the heck are you doing in there?"

"Oh, thank you, Saotome," the small, dark eyed student said with a sigh of relief. "Some students were picking on me and locked me in this storage closest. I've been here since early morning. You can only unlock it from the outside."

"Thanks not right. Tell me who they are."

"You'd beat up the bullies for me?"

"I didn't say that," Ranma said, taking a step back to give the other some room.

Gosunkugi stepped out, or rather he waddled out like a penguin. His arms and legs were pressed against his side. He stretched his muscles, being cramped in there for so long.

Just then, the sliding door opened and the Student Council President, obviously aware of the noise in a supposedly unoccupied room, looked inside. She saw Ranma and Gosunkugi. President Nishi Kinomiya was a pretty woman, tall, with glasses, but she was not Ranma's type. She was too strict, too narrow minded, and too scholarly. He liked his woman with a bit more flare and womanly charm.

"Mr. Saotome, what an unexpected pleasure seeing you here," she said nicely.

Unexpected pleasure? Ranma thought. "First, tell me why you're not in class, and second, I'd like to talk to you about your decision to join a club. All First Years need to join one, it's mandatory."

Ranma was momentarily speechless. "Um," he murmured.

"Some bullies locked me in the closest, Madam President," Gosunkugi spoke instead. "Ranma rescued me."

President Nishi Kinomiya smiled thin. "Well, you are to be commended, Mr. Saotome, for saving your fellow student, but please tell me, who did this to you…" The woman pressed herself to find a name.

"Hikaru Gosunkugi," he said.

Ranma saw Gosunkugi's shoulders slouch. Of course no one would remember his name. He was a weirdo. People knew of him on campus, but as for his name, well, there were different names used to describe him, none of them flattery. Ranma knew of them all, but he didn't use either of them.

Ranma wanted to leave quickly. He actually wanted to get back to class to avoid the next obvious question.

"Mr. Saotome," she said. Too late, he thought. "I wish to talk to you. Since you refuse to pick a club, I would like you to do me a favour, and it will give you more time to decide."

Ranma gulped with a minute sigh of relief. "Um, sure…what is it?"

"We have a new transfer student coming and I would like you show him around."

Ranma was flabbergasted, his mouth actually dropped a few centimetres.

"If you refuse, I'll pick a club for you to join right here and now, and if you refuse it, I'll suspend you."

Ranma sighed heavily. "Fine, I'll do it. Who is this guy?"

"I'll give you the details later. He'll be arriving tomorrow. Please join me in the council room after school."

Ranma sighed even more. Now he had to stay after school. How much more worse could it get?

"In the meantime, you and Mr. Gosunkugi, get to your classes," she ordered, and then turned, and left.

"Oh, I wonder who this new transfer student is," Gosunkugi said, his eyes widened with excitement. "The last transfer student was you, Saotome."

Ranma grumbled. "I don't need this hassle. My time is precious. But I'll do it, if only to get the president off my back."

When Ranma left the room, he and Gosunkugi parted ways.

Of all the rotten luck, Ranma thought. Now I have to baby sit some new guy and play escort. But why me?

He didn't go back to class, besides it was almost over.

He opened one of the sliding glass windows in the hall and leaned out on the edge, and thought. He remembered the first time he had arrived at Furinken High School, and his encounter with Kuno. How he jumped out of this very window and landed in the pool below, his curse activating when he was splashed with cold water.

He chuckled under his breath. In retrospect, it was a funny moment.

There was a slight breeze and he closed his eyes, which helped calm his mind. At least he had more time to decide on a club to join. But he really didn't want to join one.

Suddenly, his eyes shot open wide when he heard the ding-ding of a bicycle bell. "Oh, no!" He saw Shampoo jump over the surrounding wall with a carry box from the Cat Cafe. It was almost lunch time. This had been the third time in a week the Amazon had come to the school with lunch for Ranma. But he had brought his own today.

Shampoo was overtly obsessive and eccentric. She was also another suitor. He had defeated the Amazon in competition unknowing the consequences and Amazon law dictated he marry her. Originally, she had come to kill him—he defeated her when he was a girl. But when Shampoo found out he was really a guy—but with a curse that turned him into a girl when splashed with cold water, hot changed him back—she courted him to marry her.

And there was another problem. He was already engaged to Akane.

He had his own harem of girls. It would be funny, if it didn't stress him out.

Ranma backed off and out of sight. But when he turned, he jumped startled when he saw Ukyo. His instinct was to run away, but he had to stand firm like a man.

"Ranma, you look jumpy," Ukyo asked. "When you didn't come back to class, I volunteered to get you. You okay?"

Ranma calmed himself. "Thank goodness it's you," he said. Ukyo smiled. "Shampoo is here. She wants to have lunch with me again. I need you to do me a favour, tell her I'm not here today—be a buddy."

Ukyo's smile faded. "A buddy, huh?"

Ranma's calmness dwindled. His tactfulness in handling women was zero. And he knew, almost instantaneously, and how Ukyo felt about him, calling her a "buddy" was a very bad choice.

He quickly changed tactics. He took her hands in his, and said, "Please, Ukyo…I'll owe you big time. Save me."

Ukyo's smiled beamed again. "Okay, Ranma," she said sweetly, blushing a little with his touch.

"Thanks," Ranma said with a smile, and bolted down the hallway.

But his peace was not meant to be, because as soon as he turned a corridor, he came to face with Takewaki Kuno, who was exiting from a bathroom. "Ah, man…from the fire and to the fryin' pan," he said, skidding to a halt.

"Halt, Ranma Saotome!" Kuno demanded. "Running in the halls is a violation of school policy. But you were never one to follow the rules, you cretin!"

"Who are you callin' a cretan?" Ranma spat back. "I ain't a fish!"

"I called you a cretin—a rapscallion, a hooligan—not a fish! But sometimes you do enjoy floundering about." Kuno laughed, whisking his hair with a hand. "I brilliantly jest, my genius in associative particulars knows no equal."

Ranma's eyes narrowed, he shook his head. "Kuno, you are one weird guy…you and Gosunkugi should join a club," he said. "But I have no time to deal with you at the moment." And Ranma bolted past him.

But his luck was rotten, because he suddenly ran into Shampoo in the hall—literally crashing into her. The lunch box she brought with her crashed, spilling the contents all over the floor. However, the shock on his face negated any of that, because he found himself laying on top of her, and in an attempt to prevent his fall, his hands went forward, and were now cupping her ample breasts, used like air cushions.

"Ranma! So, fresh!"

Shampoo slapped him across the face. Ranma recoiled and fell back.

"I-I'm sorry, Shampoo," he said sincerely. "Ow, that hurt!" He cupped his face, fearing a bruise. Her hand hit his cheek bone. The Amazon could hit very hard. He sat up. "It wasn't my fault. I can explain."

"You run in halls, very dangerous!" Shampoo retorted. "Shampoo come here for delicious lunch with Ranma, but now ruined. How will Ranma make up with Shampoo? Go on date?"

"Um," Ranma startled, but then he was interrupted by the worse possible thing imaginable—a furious Akane, who suddenly stood in the hallway, her face the embodiment of anger and asperity.

Akane cupped her hips. "Ranma, what in god's name is going on here? You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, and the next thing, you're on the floor with Shampoo under you! And Shampoo, why are you here?"

Shampoo got to her feet. "Akane, get angry too too often," the Amazon rebuked. "Come her to have lunch with would-be husband, as proper wife should. But had mishap. Now lunch ruined, will come back tomorrow. Bye-bye!"

Shampoo quickly left.

"Hey! Aren't you even going to clean up the mess you made?" Akane huffed.

She turned to Ranma, then snorted, without another word, she left Ranma to contemplate whether he or not an after school club was really the best thing for him, rather than to deal with all these antics.

At the very least, he would have an excuse to be away from that chaos in his life if he joined one. It was a thought.

He felt his face. "Ow," he groaned.

To be continued...