CHAPTER 6

PHILOSOPHICAL DISCUSSIONS AT THE GYM

The entire team was waiting since the night before for the CIA agents to confirm the intel that Mr. Harith gave to Dianna. He gave them actually plenty of good stuff, like names, model of cars, and where he picked up a few of the terrorists from the other groups. He was a do-it-all, sometimes acting as a chofer, carrying luggage, or even delivering messages written in paper. His group didn't rely much on technology.

Jefferson was inside of the interrogation room for more than an hour, without accomplishing much, but it was common for that to happen, depending on the target. Then when he took a break, Davis went to him with the information that Dianna gathered from the other guy. At first he didn't believe that much, thinking it was going to be all lies, but then he agreed that they could be valuable, and admitted she did a good job. But he highlighted to Davis that she had an easy target to interrogate, a 'nobody', while he had the best friend of the leader there. Davis then thought to herself why didn't he choose to interrogate the 'nobody', but she knew her answer, so she didn't say anything. But something bothered her about Jefferson's conduct, and she would point that out to him, later on, when they were alone.

"Good morning" Dianna greeted the guys as they were walking out of their bedroom, still with sleepy faces, even though all dressed up. They showered the night before, at least she hoped they did.

"Hi there" Clay lazily smiled and placed his plate of breakfast in front of her, filled with eggs, pancakes and bacon. It was around 0900 hours, and Dianna obviously had almost finished her plate, just lingering at one of the long tables of the dining area.

"Good morning", Jason greeted her back, sitting beside her, and Ray sat on her other side. Sonny sat next to Clay; she was surrounded by the team guys, and she liked that. She felt like they were very tall cousins of hers. Not brothers, because she had eyes and it would be gross, but 'cousins' was a good description. Friends too.

"Any news about the new targets?" Ray asked Dianna, who was eating a few strawberries. "Don't know. Nobody told me anything so far. Don't wanna meddle".

"But you're the one who got the intel from Harith" Clay reminded, a bit annoyed, while shoving eggs in his mouth.

"So? I'm not CIA. I don't have access to their data, and don't think I have clearance to check out their fancy computers" she casually said. She needed to wait for them to do their jobs.

"True", Clay agreed. But still annoyed.

Davis was walking to them, no plates in hand, because she ate earlier. That woman almost never slept or ate, Dianna thought.

"Hey guys. Nothing confirmed yet" Davis quickly gestured with her hands she had no news so far. "Just wanted to tell you that Blackburn saw the video of your interrogation yesterday and he was really pleased. Good job", she said to Dianna.

"Oh. Good. Thanks". She offered strawberries to Davis, who at first didn't accept it, but then she took one.

"Hey, what happened in the beginning of the op, that you told us to hold? Some problem with the drone, or the comms?" Ray asked, because he was always concerned about the comms, they were pretty crappy sometimes.

"You said we might be compromised" Jason remembered, and he was going to ask Davis too.

Jefferson made his way to the room, greeting everyone, and also declaring they were still confirming the intel. He sat close to the group.

Davis finally answered the guys' questions, making sure she gave the due recognition. "Dianna saw in the drone footage someone holding a radio in a building in front of yours, above the rooftop. It could have been a lookout, watching you guys arrive with the helo".

"It was a kid, though" Jefferson suddenly complemented the information, mocking, barely waiting for Davis to finish her sentence. "A small kid with a toy radio. A brown toy radio".

Everyone of the group turned to face him at the same time, and it only took a second for Jason to clap back at him, irritated. "So? She didn't know that. It could have been a Tango with a real one".

Jefferson just turned his face away, chuckled sarcastically a bit, then continued to eat.

"You did good pointing that out" Jason told Dianna, reassuring.

"I know" she casually agreed.

Davis still thought she needed reassuring. "Yes, we'd rather be safe than sorry".

"U-hum, of course. They're risking their lives there, it's not a videogame. Always better safe than sorry" she casually agreed again, as if it was obvious, but apparently not for Jefferson. "What's a Tango?" she asked, curious, biting a strawberry.

"You're working right now? Or still waiting for the intel", Dianna casually approached Davis after she finished her snack-after-breakfast.

"I don't know. I thought I'd wait there to see if they came up with something" she nodded at the tech and CIA guys room. "Why?" she was liking Dianna's casual demeanor, it was refreshing talking to someone who wasn't a military. Even though she acted a lot more casual than civilians, too, when she wasn't working.

"I was thinking about hitting the gym upstairs. Don't really love to work out, but being surrounded by muscles made me feel in the mood to be less weak" she honestly said.

Davis understood her. "Well, I'm not much of a gym woman myself, but I think I'll join you. I'll just change clothes real quick" she noticed Dianna was wearing sneakers, leggings and a t-shirt already.

The ladies made their way to the gym, where Sonny and Brock were exercising. And sweating a lot. They hesitated, but then Dianna pointed out that they had a lot of options to work out their legs, and they had towels and water to clean the equipment if the guys didn't. So they stayed and worked out side by side on some leg equipment.

The girls talked about their jobs, and Davis relaxed and mentioned how she had to face one of her greatest fears, a fire, to get through her officer training. She didn't say why she feared it, but Dianna was very considerate and knew she must have had some trauma, and congratulated her for being able to handle it.

Davis was curious. "And you? No fears, traumas?"

Jason, Clay and Ray suddenly arrived at the gym, which was crowded now, and they were right next to them, in a couple of other equipment and benches, and they could hear them, but Dianna didn't seem fazed.

"No. No traumas so far, thank God" she stated, perfectly audible for the guys. Davis thought she could have had some sexual trauma, or was a victim of some other horrible crime, to want to seek justice and work with that at the age of 18, but the guys were too close and she wouldn't ask anything else about that now.

"Although" suddenly Dianna added, after some thought, "I did see my mother dying", and Davis widened her eyes. "Oh, she had cancer", Dianna quickly added, so that Davis wouldn't think it was some horrible accident or crime that took her life all of a sudden in front of her. "I was with her at the hospital bed when she passed away. Alone with her. She just… stopped breathing". Dianna's voice was a bit shaky, but she quickly recovered.

"I'm so sorry" Davis sincerely said, because it was always something awful to experience, for sure. "You were a teenager when she passed?" she asked, sure that it was the reason, then, that she started seeking justice.

"No. I was 25" she simply answered. They were just lazily laying at the equipment now, not moving their legs or anything. She explained, "It's just something that changes your life. There is the before and after that, when someone this close to you dies, it doesn't matter your age. You notice that there are things out of your control, and there are things you'd never get back, people you'll never see again. You can be grateful for what you had, or feel sorry for what you lost. I felt both, but the sorrow eventually toned down, and there's just the emptiness left. It happens to almost everyone". She swallowed, because she said all of this without too much emotion, probably used to talking about that already. "I was blessed, had a great mom, she was amazing. I could never be sorry for that". She looked at Davis, who was thinking about her own sister. But she couldn't talk about it like that yet, because her death was, in fact, very traumatizing for her.

Dianna knew Davis wanted to know if she had some trauma for volunteering to interrogate perverts, and she wanted to reassure her that she didn't.

"When I volunteered to do that, I knew I would hear, see and feel the most horrible things. I knew I could have panic attacks, and I did, for a while. But I also knew that it wouldn't break me, and if I felt it did, I would take a step back. I don't believe people are born good or bad, I believe it's a choice, that we make everyday, every second. Anyone can turn bad, it's just their conscious keeping them from it. No matter if you believe in hell, you have to also not want to harm someone else. Once I read that evil is the absence of good, and I agree with that. It's a lot easier to live your life being a bad person. You're just empty. Being good takes effort. Therefore, I suspect of everyone, because everyone can be bad people, do bad things".

She was about to say something, but then noticed that some of the guys stopped working out and were listening. Ray nodded, to sign her that they wanted to hear, so she continued. But she sighed, because she was going to say something a bit shocking.

"Pedophiles are not bad people, at first. It's a sexual disorder and a disease, according to most psychological studies. They are attracted, sexually, to infants. But if they never act upon their attraction, there's no harm being done. They can be good people, fighting every minute of everyday against that urge, and we'd never know. What they can't do is harm the kids, or gently convince them to come closer, so they can satisfy their desire. That means, then, that they are terrible people, because they take advantage of harmless kids, sometimes babies, to accomplish that. If they are capable of that, they are capable of lying and deceiving, and anything in between and beyond. And they'll probably never stop attacking children, because they already lost control of their urge once, so that's why it's so important the way we interrogate them and gather evidence. In my opinion, they should never be released back into society, unless some psychiatrist proves that there is some effective treatment for the disease itself", she finished.

"So you don't believe in forgiveness?" Ray came closer, a bit shocked by her previous words, but curious.

She thought about it. "You mean, forgiveness as a way of rewarding the criminal?" she bluntly asked. Ray was confused.

"No, as that everyone deserves a second chance. Redemption", he explained.

She stared at him, knowing he was obviously religious, but he asked for her opinion.

"It doesn't matter what I believe or not. To me, I care about giving the victim what she wants, to make her feel better. And make sure the society is safer. A criminal broke a rule to live in a certain society; he has to be punished, so he won't do it again, and also so that others understand their actions have consequences. And in some cases, he has to also be kept away from society, because it's been proven that they will commit the same crime, or others, again. Like the terrorists you capture" she smirked, and Ray swallowed.

"Forgiveness can be great for some victims, to calm their hearts and take the load off their chests, but sometimes they don't feel like that. It's not our job to impose that choice on someone, or when they are able to choose to forgive someone. And a criminal being forgiven, if he's not truly sorry, would only stimulate him to continue on the wrong path. And honestly, who are we to know what the guy is thinking? We could be easily deceived about that. Again, the victim, then, must choose to believe his repentance or not".

They kept quiet, and Davis nodded. "I agree with that. My exact feelings".

"And what about people like us?" Jason suddenly asked, from his bench. "Do you think we're criminals too?", he had a perturbed face, and all the guys obviously shared the same feeling, now looking at Dianna and Davis.

"You want to know if I think you're bad people" Dianna corrected, and Jason nodded. "To kill someone is a crime, but you act under the counter-terrorism and war rules, which allow you to kill someone armed or that is shooting you, or trying to kill you in some way. Or planning to kill people during a terrorist attack. That is self-defense. Any country allows that too, not only during war." She turned on her bench and lowered her legs, facing Jason and everyone else. "Why do you do it?"

There was a moment of silence, and Ray answered. "To protect our country".

Dianna smirked, but didn't say anything. It was a politically correct answer, but not the real one.

"Because we know" Jason answered, looking at her, "We know they'll never stop hurting our people".

Dianna smirked, continuing his trail of thought. "And you know they can't continue to roam free on the planet. They chose to be bad people first, harming others, and then you volunteered" she raised a brow then, "to capture and, or, kill them. Fully aware of the price you'd pay for it in your conscience, and in your souls" she looked at Ray, who swallowed.

"You do the same thing I do. I know that if I gather the evidences against a murderer in the U.S., they could end up in death row, depending on the State, but it doesn't stop me. He made is choice. I just have to make sure I got the right guy. And so do you. It may kill our souls, a bit, but we still choose, everyday, to continue. As a good or bad person. So, at this minute, I don't think I'm a bad person, and neither are any of you. But tomorrow, we'll have to make that choice again. And I hope you make the right one". The team smiled, nodding.

"Or else, I'll have to find you and arrest you", she added, with a daring smile.

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