Author's notes:

Okay this is a labor of love.

Well, I guess all my fics are. There are several parts to this fic and I will post them as I finish them. Some will be beta'd some will not (I will let you l know).

All these stories stand alone, but build from the one prior. I am a firm believer that Donna and Harvey grow so much through the seasons. They write differently. Season 3 Donna is NOT season 5 Donna, and so on and so on. I hope I capture that in the story.

This is an unbeta work. No one died writing this fic but I'm sure there are plenty of grammar mistakes.

There is some original dialogue from Season 3 Episode 9 in the beginning of this work.

Anyway, happy reading!!

-M

Part One

What are you doing here?

I was thinking I'd give you a ride.

You just gave me a ride last night.

Yeah, this time, I thought I'd join you.

Harvey, we put in 15-hour days 12 feet from each other. You really want to go to work together?

Who said anything about work? We have breakfast at Nougatine and an excursion to Hermes that may or may not involve a new handbag.

You've been needing a new handbag.

You can never have too many handbags.

You're a woman after my own heart.

Well, in that case...

Harvey... Why are you doing this?

Donna, we've all been through a lot. We deserve a little celebration.

Well, in that case, you have had it pretty rough. We're gonna need to get you more than one handbag.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Her

Donna was always up for a shopping spree, especially when Harvey was the one buying. But her current emotional state was not Harvey fortified.

As if she really had a choice in the matter.

"Harvey, you don't have to do this," she said several moments into the car ride. She didn't mean it, of course. She was giving him an out, or maybe she did mean it.

Fuck, they were complicated.

"Ray, change of plans. Take us to the office instead," Harvey said, speaking to his long-time driver but looking at Donna when he said it. The corner of his mouth curled up in a half-smile and his eyes danced mischievously.

Donna instinctively grabbed his thigh. "No! Harvey, I didn't say that," she said, leaving her hand on his leg.

Complicated.

Harvey chuckled, "Never mind, Ray."

She caught a glimpse of Ray's eyes in the rearview mirror just before the privacy glass went up to separate them. And she swore his eyes were connected to a hidden smile. It was clear that Ray was a Donna fan.

A subtle grin played on her lips. And she almost forgot about the events of the last couple of days. Almost.

She took a deep breath. She still needed to process, considering Harvey was currently a captive audience of one. Now was as good a time as any.

"You know, when everything went down, I felt so fucking stupid."

Her eyes held his gaze and his face softened at her candor.

"Donna, we don't have to talk about this. Not right now."

"You mean the Harvey Specter way of not talking about our feelings," she said in jest, but there was truth behind her words.

"And what feelings might that be, Donna?" His voice was thick and smooth, like maple syrup.

"Any at this point," she quipped back.

Her eyes scanned his face for a flicker of emotion and a nervous giggle escaped from the depths of her belly.

"How about my feelings for you?"

Harvey was teasing her and when he said it, he leaned in closer and she wondered if he could hear her heart beating through her chest.

"Harvey."

Her voice was hushed and tight. His name on her lips always felt like something more.

He continued.

"Or we could talk about your feelings for me."

His smile grew, stretching across his face and a glint of mischief settled behind his deep brown eyes.

She knew what he was referring to. He had asked her that question once before. It was that night, after their second go around (minus the strawberries and whip cream).

To be fair, she responded on the heels of the best sex she'd had in a long time and while she could deny her emotions now, she could easily walk back into the feelings she had confessed to him in that moment.

"Harvey, I told you. I'm not in love with you."

She could convince herself to speak the words, but it was another thing to convince her heart to follow.

"Really, because your hand hasn't left my thigh, let's see," he said, checking his watch. "...In five minutes."

He placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it.

Complicated.

The slightest touch from Harvey always caused her body to react. And being this close made it that much more intense.

Donna looked down. He was right; she had her hand on his thigh and didn't even notice.

"Harvey…I, uh," She said, quickly moving her hand from his thigh and away from his grasp. Harvey flashed his famous Specter smile, the one that worked on every female this side of Manhattan.

The one she refused to let get to her, except when it did. Like this morning.

"Speechless. The defense rests your honor," he said, puffing his chest in exaggeration.

She rolled her eyes.

"Shit, Harvey. Don't do that."

She turned her head in a feeble attempt to avert his gaze.

"Don't do what?" His tone vibrated off her stomach, sending heat between her legs.

She was feeling dizzy and she was pretty sure her cheeks were flushed. It might have been six years ago. But she remembered every detail of that night.

His slow hands touched every inch of her body and his fingers slipped into places she would surrender to him a thousand times over. The way his kiss felt on her lips and skin made it seem as if she were being worshiped by him. He was an attentive lover, bringing her pleasure twice that night and once in the morning.

She cleared her throat, closed her eyes and shoved her thoughts to the back of her mind, where she had stored them until moments like this got the better of her.

"That," she said, pointing at his grin.

"Don't use that smile on me. With that voice."

"What voice? Donna, I don't know what you're talking about."

The fuck you do, Mr. Specter.

"Yes, you do."

"Heh, well, maybe I do," he remarked with a smirk, followed by a nonchalant shrug that oozed unapologetic confidence.

Donna shifted in her seat, crossing her legs, and her knee rested against his when she did so.

Usually, if she was in a good headspace, being this close to him wasn't an issue. But after what happened with Steven, she was vulnerable and needy.

How could she have missed that Steven was a master manipulator, using her, Harvey, and the firm to hide his dirty little secret.

To complicate matters more, when Harvey went after him in the bathroom, it stirred feelings in her that she worked so hard to keep in check.

Given her current state, if she wasn't careful, she could act out impulsively. She certainly didn't want to do something she would regret later—or worse, he would regret. Because she could handle being upset with herself, but she couldn't handle Harvey being upset at her or at himself.

"Harvey. I need to get something off my chest before we have breakfast. And depending on how it goes, you may end up cancelling."

"Donna…"

"No Harvey. This is important and I might not have the courage to say it later."

She took a deep breath and continued, "When I found out about Steven, I couldn't believe I had been so stupid."

Harvey opened his mouth to talk. But she held her hand up.

"Let me finish."

"The relationship always had an end in sight; it wasn't like I was looking for a long-term commitment. But when you told me, it bothered you. I dug in. I wanted it to bother you. I'm sorry, Harvey. And I understand if you want to go back to the office."

A brief silence filled the car before Harvey sighed. His face softened and he shifted closer to her. Donna could feel the heat radiate from his body and his cologne lingered in the car. Hints of vanilla and musk overloaded her senses.

"Donna. You don't have to apologize. I haven't made things easy for you. Sometimes I wonder why you stick around and put up with me."

More silence.

Harvey held her gaze. And for a second, she swore she saw something more in his eyes.

But isn't that how Harvey worked? He'd give just enough to keep her around but not enough to claim her.

But it didn't matter; he had a way of crawling under her skin and taking up space in her entire being. No amount of rational thinking or therapy could remove Harvey Specter from her life.

"You know why, Harvey."

She held her breath in hopes he was ready to finally open up and tell her what they both already knew but wouldn't say out loud. At least not since that one time.

Harvey averted her gaze.

"Donna, you were the one that made the rule."

His voice pricked at her skin like sandpaper. He hid behind her rule because it was easier and maybe she did too. When things got sticky, they could always pull out the rule—the proverbial get-out-of-jail-free card.

But this morning, she wanted to push.

"I know. But Harvey, you do these things...," her eyes filled with water now, "...and you say these things."

Tears ran down her cheeks.

"Donna, it's complicated."

"Is it Harvey? You beat the shit out of Steven for me, though you claim it wasn't for me, but we both know it was. You state that you can't be you without me and that you are willing to break the law to protect me. Harvey, this… This is not normal!"

Her hands were shaking as she grabbed her purse from the car floorboard, regretting what she had said. But the funny thing about words is that you can't ever take them back.

"I need a fucking tissue," she yelled in a hushed tone as she rummaged through her purse, silently thanking her choice of waterproof mascara this morning.

"Here," Harvey said, handing her his pocket square.

Donna huffed out a faint laugh and a weak smile at the irony (this act alone proved her point; Harvey didn't offer his pocket square to anyone).

"Thanks. So much for our morning out together."

"What gave you that idea? I'm still hungry and from what I just saw, you need a better purse."

His head nodding in the direction of the last year Prada handbag sitting on her lap.

She shook her head in resignation.

"Okay Harvey. But two."

She pushed her shoulders back and picked at the soft fabric of her dress.

"Two what?" He asked.

"Two handbags. Remember? We agreed on two."

"I remember Donna," he said with a tone that felt more to her than just confirming the number of handbags they would purchase.

"Good."

She smiled at him, then averted her gaze forward and he did the same.

Silence. A sigh.

Then Harvey's monogrammed cuff grazed against her wrist as he positioned his hand beside hers in a silent invitation. Donna surrendered her hand in response and their palms pressed together with fingers intertwined.

Harvey took a deep breath and Donna did the same.

"Donna. I can't. I don't want to lose you. I can't take that chance."

His eyes were big and wet and when she turned back to face him they bore into her soul.

"I know Harvey. And for now, I'm okay with it. But I can't promise you that one day I won't want more."

He nodded in understanding.

"I know. And once we reach that bridge, I'm going to fight like hell for us. For you."

Ray pulled the black Lexus in front of Naugatine and they sat in silence for a brief moment before Harvey spoke.

"This morning is about you, Donna. Please, let me take care of you."

Her defenses melted and she nodded.

"Okay Harvey. But don't tell my boss; I'm ordering a mimosa, actually make that two."

He chuckled as he stepped out of the car and offered his hand to help her out.

"Your secret's safe with me, Donna."