Wheatley had lost count of how long they had been in testing purgatory. He had also lost count of how many near-death encounters he had had at the hands of the vengeful woman who now stood at the exit, her back to him as she waited for him to finish his part of the test.
He shivered. GLaDOS, despite having no control over the environment around them, was as imposing as she had ever been. She owned each testing track AEGIS sent their way, figuratively always in control of the room. Her human body moved naturally, similar to the way she moved in her robotic form. It was eerie.
Wheatley still struggled to adapt to his own body, constantly tripping over himself and fumbling with the portal gun. It didn't help that GLaDOS tripped him up at every possible turn, shoving him off tall ledges, deflecting lasers his way (he had so many singed marks on his clothes now), and even dropping a weighted companion cube on his head and knocking him unconscious.
He had woken up to her glaring down at him as if wondering why he had dared to keep her waiting. His head still hurt, thank you very much.
She kept conversation to a minimum, silencing him every time he attempted to say anything. It almost physically hurt him not to speak, but his fear kept him in check.
He jumped on the lift and shot a red portal at the ground, bracing himself for the sickening fall. His fear of heights hadn't left him, unfortunately, and these momentum puzzles made him feel physically ill. But his fear of her was motivation enough to continue onward.
He shrieked as he dove into the portal, his long-fall boots automatically realigning his body so that he would land feet first. He came flying out the other end and landed on the platform where GLaDOS waited for him, and promptly slid face-first into the wall.
"Ow," he groaned, rubbing his nose. "How many more tests do we have to do?"
GLaDOS didn't answer. She casually strode through the door as it slid open, ready to take on the next track. But she was a human now too. How long would she be able to keep it up?
Maybe she's some kind of superhuman. She was a supercomputer, after all. It made sense.
Wheatley knew he was tired. It was a different kind of tiredness than he was familiar with, the body becoming sluggish and a little shaky. He needed to plug in somewhere to recharge, but it seemed as if there was no end in sight.
"Where do humans plug in to recharge?" Wheatley questioned as he stepped into the lift.
GLaDOS frowned, still refusing to look at him. "I hope that was your version of a joke." Her voice was even, but quieter than before. Wheatley wondered if she getting was tired too. Not a superhuman then.
"I mean, where do they plug in? Does their energy recharge on its own when they sleep? Is there a hidden port somewhere I'm unaware of? Do the stasis pods give them energy? When they sleep, do they dream like we cores do or do their-"
"Shut up!" she snapped, finally making eye contact with him. "You never let me forget how much of an idiot you are, do you? Humans don't possess ports. They eat and sleep to recharge their energy; something we are both clearly lacking!"
He was stunned by the outburst and also a bit embarrassed. He did feel a little stupid, now that he thought about it. "So that's what eating does," he acknowledged. "I wonder what an apple tastes like."
GLaDOS stayed silent this time and Wheatley chose to follow her lead, not wanting to evoke another outburst from the woman. The door eventually opened and Wheatley was shocked to find that it led to a white, medium-sized room filled with various utilities and tables. A broken coffee mug lay on the ground in pieces and the room smelled of something strong that burned his nose. He didn't think he liked this new 'smelling' thing either.
GLaDOS's nose wrinkled, "A kitchen."
"You were wasteful with your test subjects," AEGIS' voice boomed over the loudspeaker and Wheatley resisted the urge to cover his ears. "Burning them alive after a few measly tests. Human bodies are surprisingly resilient; capable of so much more. But they require sustenance and rest. You will be given five hours to recharge and then you will be escorted back to the test chambers."
Wheatley raised an eyebrow at the word 'recharge' and gave GLaDOS a knowing look. She ignored him.
"Humans, much like cores, are also tenacious," GLaDOS spoke, "If you push them for too long, they will eventually revolt." She was speaking from experience. GLaDOS's eyes sharpened as she lifted her chin toward the ceiling, "Humans simply do not roll over and accept their fate, and you will find that out the hard way."
"What, you want him to kill us?" Wheatley hissed, wondering why she was so quick to antagonize the new AI overlord. It was as if GLaDOS did not know fear at all.
"I am the epitome of logical decision-making and will utilize all of the resources provided to me to their full capacity. I do not possess unnecessary emotional impulses that corrupt my reasoning, intelligence, or decisions," AEGIS answered, "Unlike you."
GLaDOS stiffened and Wheatley wondered how she managed to get her face to turn so red like that.
"You have five hours. I suggest you use them wisely," AEGIS said and the loudspeaker cut out.
Wheatley dropped the portal gun on the counter and started rummaging through the cabinets, curious as to what he would find. How does one eat? What can one eat?
He pulled out a box of crackers and excitedly ripped it open, eager to try this new 'eating' thing out. His body seemed to want it and he was happy to oblige. "Mm, crackers. I wonder what these are like," he opened the bag and noticed the smell that came from them was horrible. "Bleh, humans eat these?"
GLaDOS knocked the bag out of his hand, spilling the black squares onto the ground. "Hey!"
"Don't eat those," she said, "The food in this kitchen is centuries out of date. It would probably kill you."
"What?!" he was aghast, mourning the loss of his meal. Sustenance had been so close.
"On second thought, why don't you give them a try?" she suggested, walking away from him to the other side of the room.
"So we just starve then? What was the point of putting us in the kitchen if we can't even recharge?" he whined.
"Relax, moron. The scientists that used to use this facility kept a stasis chamber full of basic ingredients. It's still functioning," she leaned over and unlocked a large metal case. It opened with a hiss and clouds of steam poured out, revealing rows of metallic-looking bags.
She pulled out a few and began to check the seals, assuring they were still of good quality. Wheatley watched dumbfounded as she worked in the kitchen, putting ingredients in different contraptions he was unfamiliar with, and the smell of food began to fill the air. It was like magic.
She eventually sat down with a full plate of various foods he couldn't name and a large white mug of deep brown liquid and began to eat.
His mouth watered and something in his torso made a freakishly loud sound. "Are you... gonna share any of that?"
Her eyes narrowed as she stirred the mysterious liquid, "You think I'm going to cook for you? You're lucky I didn't toss you into the vat like I said I would. Make it yourself."
Wheatley was annoyed. "But I don't understand any of this stuff-"
"Not my problem."
"How do you even know how to make food like this anyway? You're a core like me!" he huffed.
GLaDOS shrugged, "I have my hobbies."
"Hobbies," he stood up, his irritability rising, "Like killing people. Torturing test subjects. Shooting innocent cores into space kind of hobbies!"
"Don't pretend what happened to you was my fault," her knuckles turned white as she gripped the mug, but her expression remained neutral.
"You let me go. You could have stopped it-"
"You are far from innocent. You deserved everything that happened to you and more," her voice was low again. Threatening.
But Wheatley was having none of it. He was too tired to be scared of her. She was just a human now, after all. A stupid human like him.
"You know more than anyone what it's like being in charge. Wh-what that power does to you. I said I was sorry!"
"Sorry for me or sorry for her?!" GLaDOS's voice rose sharply and she slammed the mug down, sloshing brown liquid onto the counter. She stood and looked Wheatley in the eyes, "You're despicable. You really do believe you're an innocent victim; ripping me from my facility twice, stuffing my program into a root vegetable, shoving us into the underground to die, trying to kill us dozens of times-"
He interrupted, "You've murdered hundreds of people. Why does me wanting to take out a maniac like you make me the bad guy?! Because of her?" A flash of Chell's face as she let him go on the moon went through his mind and he shoved it down. "She only teamed up with you because she wanted to escape. It was your fault she turned against me!"
GLaDOS let out a sarcastic laugh, "You're delusional. At least I know what I am. I'm not a blithering moron like you."
That was it. Something inside him snapped, and before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed the mug from out in front of her and smashed it over her head.