GLaDOS fell backward off her stool with a shocked cry, clutching the left side of her face where Wheatley had just shattered a mug of scalding hot coffee on her. It took her a few seconds to process it, the ringing in her head dampening the pain. But not for long.

She clambered to the sink and splashed rusty water over her face in an attempt to get all the scalding liquid off before it did any more damage. Her head throbbed, the skin around her eye burned, and she had to bite her tongue to keep from making any noise.

She focused on breathing as a few droplets of blood dripped down her forehead and into the sink. She blinked away the tears that had formed in her good eye and wiped the blood away calmly. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her in any pain, no matter how many cuts or burns she had.

A coffee mug. Seriously? She blamed the ancient water heater for making the coffee too hot. It hadn't even tasted good, so why had she made it in the first place?

Caroline loved coffee.

GLaDOS shivered and banished the intrusive thought. She attempted to open her damaged eye but found it was swollen shut. It probably looked hideous too (not that she cared). She grabbed a cloth from the drawers and held it to the cut on her forehead, not wishing to bleed all over her dinner.

She took a deep breath, steeled herself, calmly sat back on her stool and continued to eat her meal without a word to the moron.

But oh, his time was numbered.

Wheatley watched in silent horror, unable to tear his eyes away from the woman as she pulled herself together and continued to eat as if nothing had even happened.

It was worse than if she had straight-up attacked him with a knife. At least it probably would have been a quick death. But now he knew she was counting down the seconds he had left.

In his defense, he hadn't known that the drink was hot. He had been more focused on smashing the mug over her head similar to what she had done to him with the companion cube. But the liquid had clearly injured her, the left side of her face red as fire, her eye clamped shut. The mug itself had only given her some minor scrapes as far as he could tell.

The only way he knew she was in any pain was the slight tremble in her hand as she ate. Unless that was pure hatred. Maybe both.

God, she was a monster, wasn't she?

He couldn't believe it, but he actually felt a little bad. There was no way he would let her know that though. He shook himself off and started tearing open food packages, determined to figure out how to eat some of it by mimicking what she had done.

In the end, he managed to pull together a plate of half-cooked, slightly soggy food. But it seemed edible enough and didn't make his nose scrunch up when he smelled it like the crackers had. Success!

He sat in the farthest corner of the room away from her and choked down his food in silence.

He hoped it wouldn't be his last meal.

"Your five hours have concluded. Commence testing initiatives immediately."

Yes sir, Mister... Mister...

Mister Johnson.

GLaDOS's eyes flickered open (well, one did at least) and she stifled a groan as her head pounded in response. The fluorescent light stung her eyes and AEGIS' voice was far too loud over the speaker system.

She couldn't believe she had fallen asleep and left herself vulnerable like that. She pulled herself into a sitting position and caught sight of the moron on the other side of the room looking equally worn out as he came to. If she was lucky, he'd get himself killed before she had to do it.

To be completely honest, GLaDOS wasn't in a very murderous mood. She was still far too tired for that. And stars above did her head hurt.

She pulled herself to her feet, thankful that the long-fall boots reduced the wobbling of her legs. "For your information," she spoke to AEGIS, "Humans require more than five hours of rest if you want them in peak condition."

"It is a good thing you are not fully human, then," the AI retorted.

When had he gotten so cheeky? Being in her body was affecting the stoic AI, she realized. That was going to make him more dangerous.

She gingerly touched the cut on her forehead to double-check it wasn't still bleeding, pleased to find it dry. But she did wonder how her vision impairment would affect the next round of tests. She refused to rely on the moron for anything. Besides, he probably wanted to be rid of her as much as she wanted to be rid of him. They would not be able to trust each other in the slightest.

Which meant she needed to make her move now.

The lift ride was tense, GLaDOS silent and still as ever as she pretended he didn't exist. Wheatley was unnerved and terrified to pop the bubble, so he kept his mouth shut. For once, he was okay with not speaking.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when GLaDOS suddenly hit a control panel and slammed down a hidden lever behind it, the lift screeching to a halt.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" Wheatley was panicked. She was going to kill him right then and there. Oh, Lord.

GLaDOS said nothing, grunting with effort as she pried the door open with her bare hands. She was going to toss him out of the lift!

She snatched Wheatley's portal gun from his hands before he could object and started smashing the heavy end against the glass on the outside. A couple of tiny cracks started to form, but not quickly enough.

"Use your boots," she ordered, "Kick the glass as hard as you can until it shatters."

"Why on earth would I do that?" he was shocked. Help her murder him? He bloody didn't think so.

"Your legs are longer than mine!" she was exasperated, gesturing to the glass, "You think I want your help to escape? If we don't get out of here in the next minute, AEGIS is going to manually reassert control over the lift and it'll be over."

"We're... escaping?" his mouth dropped open. "But... I thought..."

"Break the glass, you mo-!"

"-Don't say it!" he shouted, immediately grabbing the bars of the lift and kicking against the glass with all his might, digging the hard edges of the long-fall boots into the spreading cracks. The excitement of the moment energized him somehow, despite the tiredness he had been feeling up until then. The human body was a strange thing.

The glass finally shattered beneath his boot and he let out a whoop of joy. GLaDOS used the edge of his portal gun to knock the rest of the glass away and promptly jumped straight into the open abyss.

"G-GLaDOS?!" he called down, frightened beyond belief. It was a void down there. There was no possible way they'd survive a fall like that, even with the boots on. He backed up, his hands shaking. He couldn't do it. At least AEGIS wouldn't torture and murder him like she would. Testing wasn't so bad.

"What do you think you are doing?" AEGIS' voice boomed over the speaker in the lift and the lift jerked upward, the AI attempting to reassert control.

"Oh, oh no," he whimpered. Which was worse? Which was worse?

"You're escaping. You're betraying me," AEGIS sounded... upset?

"No! She did it! I was just... just..." he looked down again to where GLaDOS had disappeared.

"You are a security threat," AEGIS said. The lift jerked again and he clutched the bar behind him in terror. "It appears I will have to begin again."

Begin again? What did that mean?

"I do apologize. I had hoped I wouldn't have to scrap you, Wheatley."

A high-pitched beep sounded as AEGIS reasserted control and the lift began to rise. Wheatley knew he had to make a decision right then. Which AI was less likely to kill him first? Which one could he escape from the fastest?

He made a split-second decision-

And jumped.

Author's Note: Happy Anniversary Portal 2! 3