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The Energy of Sun Rays

Amanda: Keeping Up

One foot in front of the other.

Over the past few weeks, that had become one of Amanda's mantras. If she just kept putting one foot in front of the other, just kept up with all the things she needed to do, she could get through a day. If she could get through two days, that was a weekend. Another five past that, and that would be a week. And each week she made it through was a tiny victory, a small reason to celebrate.

After staying with Joe and Carrie for a few days, they'd relocated to Lee's apartment. Jamie had been eerily quiet, eyeing them carefully but not issuing a word of protest when Lee set him up on the couch in the living room before leading her into his bedroom and closing the door. That first night, they'd been exhausted from the trip over to her house to retrieve more clothing and personal items. They'd simply peeled off their clothes, leaving them wherever they fell, and dropped into the bed. But in the weeks since then, they'd sometimes been openly affectionate in front of him, and of course there was no reason to hide their wedding rings now that the marriage had been disclosed.

She'd gone back to work only a week after Lee had. "Jamie needs to go back to school so he doesn't get too far behind," she'd explained in the face of Billy's surprise. "And it won't be good for me to sit and do nothing." He'd acquiesced, but initially limited both their duties desk work only for the first month. After that, they'd been sent back out into the field during the day, mostly together but occasionally separately, but neither had been given any after-hours duty. It was strange, but nice, to get into a routine of taking Jamie to school in the morning, going into work together, and then leaving at the same time every day. Jamie usually stayed at a friend's house for a couple of hours after school, which gave him a respite that Amanda thought he likely needed. They were clearly having fun rough-housing sometimes, since he occasionally came back sporting bruises or, once, a black eye.

Lee's eyes had narrowed at that sight, and he'd pulled Jamie off to the side as soon as they'd gotten back to his apartment. He'd come into the bedroom a few minutes later, shaking his head. "He won't tell me a thing. Says it was just an accident and that it's all right."

"He's a twelve-year-old boy, Lee. He's going to get into some scrapes."

That had earned her an odd look, but he'd let the matter drop.

In the meantime, Amanda had reclaimed the Middle East transcripts that she'd been working on, adding in a few more that had come in during the meantime, and was working her way through them to find patterns. There was clearly some sort of activity involving a planned response to the recent Battle of Maaten al-Sarra, for which Muammar Gaddhafi was apparently blaming the French instead of focusing on the Chadian military's own intelligence sources. Somehow a Syrian called Abu Jihad also seemed to be involved, but she couldn't quite figure out his role in any planned response. That was assuming there would be a planned response at all, which couldn't be confirmed using available sources.

Regardless, she'd alerted Billy to a need for closer tracking of Abu Jihad's movements, and he'd passed the alert on to operatives in Beirut, Tel Aviv, and Ankara. At least one of those had slipped into Damascus to obtain whatever intelligence they could, but they'd ironically been stymied by CIA agents who were trying to plant someone into Hafez al-Assad's government. Amanda had helped to draft their Agency's report and recommendations for an inter-agency task force, but she didn't know what had happened after the report had been submitted. Her only clues involved orders to keep collating and analyzing the translated phone tap transcripts.

She was working on that one afternoon in late November, just before Thanksgiving, when her desk phone rang. Amanda frowned at the phone; her extension rarely rang unless Lee didn't pick his up and the rollover kicked in. He was out of the office, overseeing the security set-up for a new safe house, but she hadn't heard his phone ring before hers had started. She answered it cautiously.

"Mrs. King, this is Alma Dennis."

The name instantly got her complete attention. "Oh, my gosh! What's wrong with Jamie?"

"Well," said the school principal, "he's been in a fight. And, ah, it isn't the first time something like this has happened recently, but —"

"It what? Why haven't you called me?"

"It's the first time an adult has witnessed anything more than shoving, although we've seen some indicators that some things have happened off of school grounds. Both boys are fine and can be treated by our school nurse, but we need you to —"

She was already out of her chair and had her purse. "I'm on my way. Let me just…" she trailed off. They'd come in together today, as was their newly-developed habit, and Lee had driven the car out to the safe house. "I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?" Hanging up, she grabbed her address book, flipping it open to pull out Joe's office number.

Jamie was slumped in a waiting room chair when she and Joe rushed into the school office. There were bandaged cuts and bruises on his face and both hands, and the left hinge of his glasses had been repaired with tape. The anger on his face transmuted into a full-fledged scowl when saw who had come in.

Joe knelt in front of him. "What's your explanation for the phone calls your mother and I got?"

His voice was surly. "Bobby Boyd is a jerkface liar."

"Jamie," she chided. "That's not good enough to justify getting into a fight, and you know that."

The only response was a shrug. He'd focused his gaze on a spot in the carpet, seemingly attempting to glare a hole into it.

Joe sighed. "You know, this is your chance to give us your side of things before we talk to her. If I were you, I'd take that opportunity. What were you trying to accomplish?"

He glanced up for a second, but it was too fast for her to get a good look. "I just wanted him to shut up already, that's all."

"Shut up?" asked Amanda. "What was he saying that was so terrible?"

Jamie shrugged again. "Just stuff. Stupid stuff. I'd told him to shut up earlier, but he got in my face when we went to lunch. Wouldn't go away." He paused. "So I told him I'd make him go away if I had to, and he said I was too chicken." A faint undertone of triumph briefly crept in. "I proved him wrong."

"Are you saying you threw the first punch?"

No response.

"James," said Joe, his tone firming. "Were you or weren't you the first one to get physical?"

He squirmed for a second before sighing and giving up. "Yeah. I was."

"Well," said Amanda, her mind whirling. "That's good that you were honest about it. But it's still not okay that you got into a fight. When we get home, we're going to have to dis—"

"I already got in-school suspension! Isn't that enough?"

"Do not," said Joe, "interrupt your mother. Or me."

"And the answer to your question," said Amanda, "is no. That's not enough. If nothing else you're going to have to help pay to fix your glasses. We're going to go in and talk to Mrs. Dennis now. Is there anything else you want to tell us first, before we find it out from her?"

He slouched lower, deepening the scowling glare. Joe waited for a long moment before getting back to his feet and escorting Amanda into the principal's office. She offered them both water before inviting them to sit down, not on the other side of the desk, but next to her in the conference area. "Mr. King, Mrs..." she trailed off. "King? You answered to that, but I think Jamie's mentioned that you've remarried?"

"We both have, actually," said Joe. "What does that have to do with him fighting? Just who is this Bobby Boyd person, anyway? How come he can't get along with people?"

"He's actually very astute with people. Unfortunately, the way he applies that understanding isn't always the best. He's very good at finding his classmates' biggest weakness or reason to be upset and then teasing them about it."

"So he's a bully. Why hasn't the teacher done anything about that?"

"She has tried, and Bobby is improving, but until today there had never been a physical altercation. Not to mention, Bobby is a small kid and not particularly physical to begin with. Jamie is larger and stronger, and he did a lot more damage to Bobby than Bobby did to him." Mrs. Dennis sighed. "His parents are very upset."

"I can imagine," Amanda answered, and not without sympathy. "But this isn't like Jamie. He's quiet and thoughtful, and at home he's always been more prone to verbal outbursts and sulking. It's his — it was his brother who had the tendency to be physical." She swallowed around the lump that had risen in her throat. "Whatever provoked him had to have been more complicated than just words, no matter how mean."

"I'm afraid it does look like it was just teasing or taunting. But you just said there are two new step-parents, and Jamie himself has mentioned that you're also not staying at your house right now. I can certainly understand why not, but that's a lot of changes to go through in such a short period. It could be that this is one of his ways of lashing out about that."

"We're all adjusting right now. He's seemed to be handling it as well as any child could." Then she sighed. "But I guess he isn't, is he." And I've completely missed it. "That's what you're trying to tell us."

Any reply that might have come was drowned out by Jamie's voice, which had risen to a shriek. "What are you doing here! Mom and Dad are already in Mrs. Dennis' office and they don't need you!" There was a pause and the sound of another, lower voice. Then, as the door was opening, he yelled again. "Well, I don't, so go away already!"

In the waiting area outside the principal's office, Lee's jaw had dropped slightly before he had gone stock-still. And there was no misinterpreting the stricken expression in his eyes.