The very next day, Elizabeth started cleaning the house. Simplifying everything. Donating Nathan's clothes that she had been holding on to. She also had not tackled his office either, so she spent one afternoon sitting in the leather office chair he had sat in for years. Trying to feel like what she was doing would be good for her in the long run. Instead, she felt like she was losing him again.

"Aunt Beth?" Allie called as she walked in the front door.

Elizabeth didn't answer….she just stared at the family picture that sat on his desk. Christmas time when the kids were teens. Nathan in this very chair, Elizabeth on his lap, kissing his cheek as Allie held a sprig of mistletoe over their heads and the twins standing behind them, giving them both rabbit ears. It was silly but that was them. Always joking around, loving each other.

"Hey," Allie said, walking in the room. She saw what she was looking at and studied Elizabeth's face. "I forgot about that picture. That was a fun day."

"Every Christmas was fun," Elizabeth acknowledged.

"Yeah."

"I'm thinking about selling the house."

"What? Why? This is our house!"

"I know, Al, but it's bigger than we both need. You will be moving out after school is done and then I'll be alone again. In this big house that just depresses me. I want to be happy again."

Allie thought for a moment and picked up the picture. She realized that her reaction was based on her own personal thoughts. Aunt Beth was right. She would only be here for the next two years. Then, who knew where she'd be.

"Okay. I'll help you get it ready to sell. Is that why you're in here?"

"Yes. I… I think I can donate these things. It's a nice desk and chair. The filing cabinets work. The computer is outdated but someone could use it."

"I could use the computer. If that's okay. I'd even take the desk and chair. I can move to the larger bedroom and put it in there."

"Sure, sweetie. You can have them."

"Are you going to be okay? I mean, it feels like you are really sad."

"I am sad but it isn't doing me any good to hold on to his things. They just make me miss him more when I see them."

"Maybe you should see my therapist," Allie suggested. "She's really nice and she doesn't judge me. She just listens and then asks questions that make me think."

"You're seeing a therapist?"

"Yeah. I just started. Its expensive though so I might not keep going."

"You're paying for it out of pocket?"

She shrugged.

"How much does it cost? I can help."

"That's alright, Aunt Beth. I'll figure it out. Maybe the college has someone I can talk to for free. Once I start classes."

"Allie…"

"Really, Aunt Beth. But maybe you should talk to her. It might help."

"I'll think about it."

Allie walked out and called back, "I'll text you her office number."

Was she really doing that badly that she needed a therapist? Wasn't choosing to sell the house and donate Nathan's things a step in the right direction? She thought it was.

She wondered what Lucas would say about it. How long did it take to clean out Nathan's things from the Chief office?

She thought about texting him but then put her phone back down. She didn't want to have contact with Lucas, or any of the firemen. It would only mean remembering Nathan and that he wasn't around anymore.

…..

Lucas picked up his phone to text Elizabeth. It had been twenty-four hours since they had spoken and he couldn't get past the look in her eyes. How uncomfortable she was being at the event. The firehouse, in particular. She hadn't gotten past her grief, not that there was a time frame where that should have happened. Just…she was very much still grieving and that bothered him.

He wondered if they could go to coffee sometime or just meet in a public place to chat.

"It was nice to see you again," he tapped.

He didn't say anything else. The word 'read' next to his text told him she read it but the fact she didn't respond told him what he needed to know. It wasn't time for her to talk to him yet. So, he'd be patient.

Lucas stood from the desk in the Chief's office, Nathan's old office. He walked over to the wall to look at the last picture with him in it. Taken a few weeks before the fire, he stood tall and proud, next to his brothers, a smile on his face.

He was a good friend, the best friend really. Lucas was blessed to have known him. It was right then that he decided to formerly apply for the position. He wanted to make Nathan proud.

"I'll try to live up to your standards, brother. Rest in peace."

Lucas walked out of the office and headed to the kitchen to see what food was waiting. He was hungry and he still had six more hours in his shift. He pulled out his phone and called Vannah.

"Hey, baby."

"Hi, Daddy."

"Do you want to come to the firehouse for dinner? It smells really good. I think Fiona made Italian."

"I'd have to walk and nah. I'll just order a pizza. I've got a little money left."

"I'll pay, Van. I'll text you my card info."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"I'm sorry I'm not there."

"That's okay. I'll just hang out and watch a movie."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"I'm going to apply for the Chief position," he mentioned.

"Uncle Nathan's spot?"

"Yeah. What do you think?"

"I don't know. I mean, I won't be here in about two weeks."

"Right. I know but it still affects you. Its not like you won't visit ever again."

"I know, Daddy. I just mean…its your decision and you need to do what's best for you."

He knew she was a teenager and it was like they were programmed not to care but he hoped that she would care a little bit.

"Alright. Enjoy your evening."

"Wait, Daddy, are you mad? I don't know what you wanted me to say. I live with mom mostly."

"I know, Van. I'll talk to you later."

"Fine."

"Fine."

He sighed and walked into the kitchen. He knew the people there would care.

"Guess what, guys."

"Hey," Fi said from the stove.

"And Fi…."

……

Elizabeth sat down on her bed and stared at her phone. She was tired. She had boxed up some of Nathan's things for donation. She had gotten distracted by their wedding album that was in the closet. Then she read the letters he had written to her when he had gone out of town for a few weeks years before. He wasn't a big texter so he wrote letters. She, of course, kept them.

Then she pulled out the black box in her top drawer that contained his wedding ring. The tears came in earnest then. Now, it was around her neck on a chain.

"It was nice to see you again," Lucas had texted earlier. What did he want her to say? What did he mean by nice? Nice as in, I want to keep seeing you? That wasn't what she wanted.

And yet, as much as she didn't want to, they had the common connection of Nathan.

So she pulled up his text and hit reply. "You too."

She saw the little dots that indicated he was responding and it made her nerves jump and she dropped her phone. Why did it feel wrong to be texting a man that wasn't Nathan?

"Are you doing alright?" he texted.

"I'm ok."

"If you ever need to talk about Nathan, I'm here. I mean it."

"I appreciate that. Have a good night, Lucas."

"You too."

…..

The next morning, Lucas' offer to talk was on her mind as she drank her coffee. She didn't want to talk to a therapist but talking to someone who knew Nathan might help her.

Her phone buzzed next to her. "Hi, Mom."

"Hello, dear. Ivy told me you're moving?"

Word traveled fast. Allie must have talked to the twins. "That's the plan."

"Where are you planning?"

"I don't know. Honestly, its in the early stages. I only just started thinking about it."

"It doesn't help to run from the pain, love."

"I'm not running, Mom. I'm trying to get past it. Everything here reminds me of how much I loved him, how wonderful our family was, what I'm missing. I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Elizabeth Grant, those memories will always be in your heart, no matter where you live. If you moved to Alaska or the moon, you'd still remember him just the same."

"The girls and I went to the Police and Fire Department fundraiser a few days ago," she mentioned, changing the subject, but at the same time, she wanted some advice. "It was so hard. I ended up leaving early and then all these firemen, some that didn't even know Nathan, told me how proud they were and that he was their hero. I didn't even know what to say."

"Sweetheart, he was a hero."

"I know that now but…to me, he was my husband, my best friend, the best father to our girls. There's this hole, Mom. It just hurts."

"Elizabeth, that hole can be filled up. I don't mean replace Nathan. I just mean, something or someone to take away the hurt. To help you heal."

"I don't know how and I don't want someone. I'm not ready to date. I don't know if I ever will be."

"Never say never, love."

……

Later that day, Allie drove to the fire station. She walked into the bay, causing someone to peek around the fire truck they were working on. A very handsome someone. Tall, wavy brown hair..

"Hi," she said with a smile and a wave. "May I speak to Lucas Bouchard please?"

"Sure. He's up in his office. Up the stairs, the only office on the left."

"Dude, manners," another guy said, walking out in front.

The first guy smirked. "I'll take you up."

"That's alright. I think I can find it," she told them, walking away. "Thanks guys."

Handsome, brown-haired guy headed up the stairs with her anyway.

"I'm Tim Lawson."

"Allie Grant." She felt her face heat. She bit her lip as he beat her up the stairs and turned to look fully at her.

"Grant? Related to Nathan?"

"My Dad."

"Oh. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks, Tim."

"Would you like to maybe get some coffee?" Tim asked her.

Lucas walked out of his office after hearing voices, one female.

"Allie? Hi, sweetie."

Allie walked forward and gave him a hug. "Uncle Lucas."

"It's good to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Let's sit down."

Tim watched them walk to the office. Allie waved at him and followed Lucas inside.

"What's going on? Are you doing okay?"

"I'm doing much better. I'm going to go back to school to finish my bachelor's in Elementary Education and I moved back in with Aunt Beth."

"Good for you going back to school." He was so proud of her. He had known her since she was a tiny girl and now, all grown up. "I'm proud of you, Allie."

"Thanks."

Lucas leaned forward and looked at her closely. Nerves. "What's on your mind, sweetie?"

"Aunt Beth. I'm worried about her. She's struggling to get past losing my Dad. She thinks that by selling our house that it will help her be happier. But I don't think so."

"I noticed she was having a tough time at the charity event."

"She needs a friend. Someone who lost someone too. So I thought of you."

"Allie, I would love to help but…I don't want to push her. After losing Nathan, I stopped contacting her because I could see how much it hurt."

"At the time, sure, but I think she needs someone to push her. So she can move on."

"Al, I'm not sure she's ready."

"Will you please try? For me?"

He stood up and opened his arms. She stepped in and hugged him hard. "I'll do anything for you and all of Nathan's family."

"Thank you, Uncle Lucas."

She stepped back and put her hand on the doorknob. "Uncle Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think about Tim?"

……