slight trigger warning*

A week before Christmas

"Ivy?" Marley whispered, squeezing her twin's hand. "Ive?"

Ivy opened her eyes and wiped her cheeks. She heard the silence of her curtained off area of the ER and then the noise of the busy triage.

"I'm so sorry," Marley said, wiping her own tears away. "I can't imagine." She couldn't but their twin connection was strong and she felt her sister's broken heart and grief as if it were her own.

"I want to go home."

"To the apartment?"

"No. Yes…I don't know."

"I think it's time to tell Mom what's going on."

That was the last thing she wanted to do. Elizabeth Grant would be embarrassed, disappointed and a ton of other things.

"She's going to freak."

"No, I think she will be as comforting and loving as Elizabeth Grant is all the time."

"And disappointed in my choices."

"Ivy, it's Christmas break. I'm going home and you need to recover. I think home at Mom's is where that should happen."

Ivy looked at her sister, her best friend. The one who knew her best, the one who had kept her secret. She trusted her more than anyone.

"Please…" And she could read her thoughts.

"I won't leave you, Ivy."

"Okay."

A few hours later, Ivy was released from the hospital. Marley drove them first to their apartment to grab clothes for the next week and then home to their Mom's.

….

"Hey," Lucas said, walking Elizabeth's front door. He wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and then kissed her. "How are you?"

"Glad you're here."

"Me too."

"Marley just texted that she and Ivy are on their way. We are going to decorate the tree."

"Sounds fun."

"We haven't done that since losing Nathan. It never felt like Christmas without him."

Lucas squeezed her hand and walked into the living room where a box sat with an artificial tree.

"A fake tree?"

"Yeah. Same one we've had since we got married."

"Do you trust me, Beth?"

"Of course."

"I think you and I and Allie and the twins should go to a tree farm and get a real tree. Start a new tradition."

"Okay. That sounds good."

Lucas walked into the kitchen to make himself some tea and Elizabeth followed. She liked seeing him in her kitchen, feeling comfortable enough to help himself to what she had on hand.

She smiled and he smiled back. "What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Beth."

"You're it for me, Lucas." He recognized those words that he himself had said at Thanksgiving. It was wonderful to hear them from her mouth.

He put his cup down and cupped her face with his hands, guiding her mouth to his.

"Sorry!" Allie giggled, walking in to get a cup of coffee. "You guys are way too adorable. You know that, right?"

"Yep," they said in unison.

"Mom?" Marley called from the front door.

"Twins are here!"

Elizabeth hurried to see them and then stopped short. Ivy was pale and obviously had been crying.

"Ivy? Baby, what's wrong?"

"I have cramps. Do you know where the heating pad is?"

"Sure, sweetheart. Why don't you go lay down and I'll bring it to you with some ibuprofen?"

"Thanks, Mom."

Ivy walked slowly to the guest room door and shut it. Elizabeth turned and looked at Marley. "Do you need some pain meds too?"

"No, I'm fine."

Elizabeth squinted her eyes at Marley. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"You and Ivy have always had identical cycles."

"I'll take Ivy her pain medication and heating pad."

Lucas put his arm around Elizabeth's shoulders and kissed her temple. "She will tell you when she can."

Ivy stayed in instead of going to the tree lot and Marley stayed with her. Allie invited Tim so the afternoon became like a double date of sorts.

Tim took Allie's hand and they walked off in the opposite direction of where Lucas and Elizabeth were.

"We need a blue spruce, babe," Lucas told her. "It smells so good."

"Don't they all smell the same?"

"Not in my opinion. Regardless, it's what we need. Also some mistletoe."

"I have tons of that at home. Nathan would hang it everywhere."

"I'm guessing it's not real?"

"About as real as the tree in the box."

"We need real mistletoe."

"Does it have magical powers or something?" she teased, squeezing his hand.

"We will have to test it and find out."

"Mm," she smiled, stepping close to kiss him. "I'm not sure we need help in that department."

Deeper into the rows of trees, Allie and Tim were taking advantage of the cover provided by them.

"I love you, Al," Tim mumbled as his lips returned to hers.

"I love you too."

"I was thinking," he said, pulling back a bit to look her in the eyes. "What would you think if you moved in with me?"

"I would think that maybe we are moving too fast."

"We are? If you moved in, we'd have privacy. We wouldn't have to figure out time to be together. We'd be there. All the time."

She took his hand and squeezed. "Tim, a month ago you told me that you needed to make some changes. Keep going to therapy and be the man I deserve. Your words, not mine. Is a month enough time to be who you want to be?"

"I'm working on myself but I also know that I need you. You make me stronger.".

"Babe, I'm just not sure that it's the time for us yet."

They continued walking in the quiet as he thought about what she said. "Do you trust me?" he wondered, fearing he knew the answer.

"For the most part," she said almost in a whisper.

"I deserve that." His heart sank but he understood.

"Babe, let me explain." She turned and stepped close, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I love you. So much. The only thing that makes me hesitant is that you might walk away again, or you might stop telling me what's on your mind. If we are going to be together, for the long term, you can't do that."

"I know." He sighed and held her close. He knew he had work to do but he didn't want to lose her.

"I'm scared to lose you, Allie. It almost happened more than once and I…I need you with me."

She didn't know what to do. It was one of those times she wished she had Nathan to ask for advice. She knew that she had Elizabeth but she thought a man would know more of what Tim was feeling.

Uncle Lucas. She would talk to him and Elizabeth.

"Let's not decide right now, Tim. I guess now I need you to trust that I am not going to choose to leave you. I want to be with you."

"I trust you."

"Alright."

"Tim?"

"Yes. I trust you, Al." She stood on her toes and kissed him.

"Let's go see if Aunt Beth and Uncle Lucas found a tree yet."

…..

As they walked down the sidewalks in downtown Denver, they sipped hot cocoa and chatted.

"Are you guys hungry?" Lucas asked.

Everyone agreed so they headed to a pub that looked relatively quiet.

Allie took Tim's hand and squeezed. He was stewing and she knew that. This was what she meant. Why did he shut down when things got uncomfortable?

Allie leaned over in the booth and kissed his cheek. "You're stewing, Tim Lawson. This is what I meant. Just talk to me."

"Its not…I'm not. Can we maybe talk about this later?" he asked, eyeing Beth and Luke.

"Sure."

Lucas took the hint and stood up. "Beth, lets go get some drinks and appetizers."

So they walked over to the bar and sat down, ordering for all of them.

"I'm not stewing," Tim told her. "I'm just thinking. I'm quiet when I think. That's all it is."

"Alright. I'm sorry."

"I had assumed you'd be excited to move in with me so I had been excited too. I'm just trying to get past that."

"When it is time for both of us, I will move in with you."

"How long should we stay over here?" Beth asked from the bar. They had four drinks and a plate with loaded potato skins in front of them.

"I'm not sure. Obviously, they needed to chat. We could just take them their drinks and the app and then come back here and get our own."

"That sounds good."

Lucas took the items over and returned. "Should we get wings?"

"Nachos for me, I think."

As they waited for their food, Lucas rested his hand on Elizabeth's and softly stroked her ring finger. "So…if someone were to want to buy someone else an engagement ring…what would that someone else like?"

Elizabeth bit her lip and smiled at him. "First, you are so adorable."

"Thanks!"

"And I just want simple. Maybe just a band?"

"With diamonds?"

"I'll leave that up to you, Luke."

"You deserve the biggest diamond money can buy," he told her, kissing her softly.

"Please don't. I'm not a big diamond girl. That's all I'll say."

He nodded. "So maybe I could spend the money I was going to spend on a large diamond and take us somewhere special for a honeymoon."

"Perfect."

"Wings and Nachos," the bartender announced, putting the plates down in front of them.

……

Back at home

"I don't know how to tell her," Ivy sobbed. "I'm so embarrassed and I feel so guilty and now I miss the baby I didn't even know I had."

Marley climbed into bed behind her sister and held her, stroking her hair. "I will be here with you when you tell her. Alright?"

"Promise?"

"I promise. I know that she will be sad for you, Ive. She's a great mother and she isn't going to yell or make you feel bad. I know she won't."

Ivy knew Marley was right. She just needed to get it over with.

They looked up at the door when they heard a knock. "Come in."

Elizabeth peeked in the room. "Hi. We're back. We're going to decorate the tree. Do you want to join us?"

"Can we talk first?" Ivy asked, sitting up. Marley sat up next to her and squeezed their fingers together, giving her support.

Elizabeth nodded and closed the door behind her, joining her girls on the bed.

"Mom," Ivy started, the tears still coming.

"Honey? Are you still feeling bad?"

"Mom…I met someone."

"Okay. That's good, isn't it?"

"It was. Mom, he was so sweet and he treated me well and…one night we got carried away."

Elizabeth moved to the other side of Ivy and took her other hand. "Its alright. You can tell me anything, my love."

"Mom, I felt…feel so guilty. I didn't love him. I just…anyway. Yesterday morning I started cramping really bad. I knew it wasn't time for my period so I had Marley take me to the ER. They told me there that I miscarried. I didn't know, Mom. I didn't know I was pregnant."

"Oh my. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

"You're not mad?"

"No. A little surprised but, sweetheart, you are an adult and you make your own decisions."

"Would Dad hate me?"

"Of course not. Dad didn't have a hateful bone in his body. Plus, he loved you girls with every fiber in his body."

"Thank you, Mom."

"You're welcome. Now we would love it if you came to the living room. Maybe you can lay on the couch. Lucas wants to start a new family tradition."

"Can we have hot chocolate with extra marshmallows?"

"Absolutely."

"Will you just stay here with me for a little longer?"

"I'm here, love. Mama's here."