trigger warning*
Christmas night
"Its gorgeous, Luke," Elizabeth told him, staring at the diamond necklace he had given her a moment before. "Thank you."
He moved her hair to one shoulder and closed the tiny clasp. "You're welcome, sweetheart."
"My turn," she told him, handing him his gift.
He opened his gift and looked back up at her. "Wow. Beth…"
A very nice black watch stared back at him.
"Its engraved on the back," she told him.
He picked up the watch and turned it over to see the back. "The pledge," he whispered.
She nodded, taking his hand and squeezing.
"I promise concern for others. A willingness to help all those in need.
I pray for courage - courage to face and conquer my fears. Courage to share and endure the ordeal of those who need me.
I will build strength - strength of heart to keep and bear whatever burdens might be placed upon me. Strength of body to deliver to safety all those placed within my care.
I seek the wisdom to lead, the compassion to comfort, and the love to serve unselfishly whenever I am called."
"Babe…" He felt himself getting emotional. It was the perfect gift. "This is perfect. Thank you."
He leaned toward her and softly kissed her lips. "I love you."
"I love you too."
She slipped the band over his left hand and shut the clasp.
Elizabeth turned when she heard someone in the kitchen. "I'm going to check on Ivy. Be right back."
He nodded and sat back, staring at the fire in the fireplace.
"Sweetheart?" Elizabeth whispered, seeing Ivy grabbing some motrin.
She sniffled and grabbed a bottle of water.
"Am I crazy, Mom?"
"What? Of course not."
"I feel empty. Like a failure. How can I miss someone I didn't even know I had?"
"Because even though you didn't know it, you were a mother. Even for a short time. That baby will always live in your heart."
Ivy fell into Elizabeth's arms and sobbed. "Will it always hurt like this?"
"In a way." She dried her daughter's tears and helped her sit at the counter. "I know how you're feeling, Ivy."
"You do?"
"Yes. I had a miscarriage after you and Marley were born. You were maybe two."
"I didn't know that."
"Its hard to talk about. Bringing up those memories…but even though the pain of death lessens over time, I'll always carry my child with me."
"Like Dad?"
"Yes. I know that it's really hard right now but your heart will heal."
Lucas hated listening to crying, especially when he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't hear exactly what Beth and Ivy were chatting about, but he assumed it was about her miscarriage. It was heartbreaking for anyone, but especially for someone so young.
Josie and he had gone through a similar experience after Savannah and it had been yet another reason their marriage hadn't survived.
Elizabeth joined him a few moments later with a cup of tea for each of them.
"Thank you. Is Ivy alright?"
"She will be."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience, hon."
She nodded and sipped her tea. "I got pregnant about two years after the twins. Nathan was hoping for a boy and I wasn't sure I was ready to have another but it happened. At about three months, I miscarried. We were both heartbroken."
"Josie and I also miscarried. About three years after Vannah was born. That's one of the reasons I was working so much and gone all the time. I needed a distraction. Unfortunately it was like a domino effect and we just never recovered."
"It was hard enough going through it myself," she admitted. "But seeing Ivy living it…it brings so many memories back up." Elizabeth wiped her eyes and leaned against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry you had to go through it and I'm sorry Ivy is. Its one of the worst things I can imagine."
…..
Allie and Tim sat in his apartment living room, eating popcorn and talking. Around 10pm, he left the room and then came back with a small black box.
Allie stared at it, almost afraid to think about what it could be. "Tim…"
"Before you get too worried or whatever you are feeling, will you open it please?"
She took it from him and slowly opened the box. "Two rings?"
He took them from the box and slipped one on his right hand ring finger. "One for me and one for you."
"Promise rings," she nodded.
"Yes. This one's for you, to remind you that I love you and that I'm always going to try my best to be what you need but that I need your patience while I figure out what that is. Mine is to remind me of the same. That one day, if you still want to after waiting for me, we will get married and our relationship will be strong and we will be able to get through anything."
He put the ring on her right hand as well. It reminded her of an engagement solitaire but she could see the difference now. It had a different meaning and it was a promise, from his heart to hers.
"Thank you."
"I do love you, Allie. With all of my heart. I'm sorry that I have messed up so many times…"
She shushed him by putting her index finger over his lips. "There is no need to bring up the past, babe. I forgave you already."
He nodded. "Alright."
"Its getting late, Tim. I need to go."
He stood with her and hugged her tightly, not wanting to let her go. "You could stay."
She kissed him and smiled. "Not tonight. But one day…I will."
He accepted that. They needed to slow it down, give themselves a chance to grow closer without physical intimacy in the way. He was so grateful that she was the logical one of the two of them.
……
A few days later, Ivy and Marley headed back to the dorms. Ivy was doing much better physically and she wasn't sure that emotionally she was ready to go back to class, but she didn't want to give up all the hard work she had put it up to this point.
She had one semester left in her sophomore year. She was going to get her bachelor's degree in Elementary Education so she could teach like her mom. She would be halfway there by summer. Then in her Junior year, she was going to be able to start getting her student teaching credits in the classroom. She really looked forward to that part.
"Ive, can you get my phone? Its ringing…."
"Oh, sorry." She pushed the button to answer. "This is Marley's phone," she said.
"This is Ms. Burchett, Marley's guidance counselor. May I speak with her please?"
"She's driving. Can I take a message or I can have her call you back?"
"She can call me back."
"Okay, I'll tell her."
"Who was it?"
"Ms. Burchett."
"She's just pushing me to pick a major."
"It might help you figure out what classes to take in the fall."
"I know, but…I just don't know what I want to do."
The truth was, she knew what she wanted to do. She was struggling to actually push herself to officially choose because she was afraid of the reaction she would get.
"Yes you do," Ivy said, knowing her sister.
"Fine, I do, but I'm not ready to tell anyone yet."
"Military, right?"
"I want to be a nurse. For the army."
"Wow, Marley. That's awesome."
"I'm going for my associates in nursing first and then I'm going to enlist. I just…I'm concerned about telling Mom."
"She will be so proud of you. She has always said that we can do anything we set our minds to."
"I don't know."
"You were there this past week for me when I needed to tell my secret. I'll be right next to you when you tell Mom yours. Promise."
"Alright. I will tell her and drag you along for the ride."
"In the meantime, don't forget to call Ms. Burchett."
……
Lucas wandered the jewelry store, unsure of where to start. He should have brought Allie or Vannah with him.
"Sir? May I help you find something?" a woman said from behind the glass counter.
"I…yes. I'm looking for an engagement ring. Not a typical one though. I'm looking for a band."
"Wonderful. Congratulations on your almost engagement."
"Thanks."
"I have some bands over here. Why don't you take a seat and I'll pull them out for you. See if anything speaks to you."
He was overwhelmed immediately. So many rings. So sparkly. How was he going to choose anything?
"May I ask what budget we need to be respectful of?" the woman said. "I'm Kasey, by the way."
"Lucas. We talked about it and we are going to spend the money I was going to spend on a ring on a honeymoon. So, let's limit it to $3000?"
"Great." She pulled out the ring stands and set them on the counter in front of him.
He saw one that was really skinny and too plain, in his opinion. "This one isn't it. Its too plain. She isn't a large diamond fan but not this little."
"Okay. What about this one?"
"Whoa, is that in my budget?" It was beautiful and he could picture her wearing it. It had five diamonds across the top and a silver band.
"Yes, sir. $2999.00."
"Its nice. I really think she'd like it. I just…I'm so bad at this. Is there a way you could hold it for me and I can come back with her daughter?"
"Sure thing."
The next day, Allie met him at the jewelry store. "Alright, Uncle Luke. Let's find Aunt Beth a ring."
"Thanks for coming and helping out, Allie."
"Happy to do it."
"I see you have a ring on too, Allie. Anything you want to share?"
"Tim gave it to me. Its a promise ring."
Lucas nodded. "That's awesome. Congratulations."
"Thanks. I just don't think we are at the marriage point yet. We still have some things to work out. I guess its a good compromise."
"Lucas, you're back," Kasey said, gesturing to the same counter he sat at the day before. "Future step-daughter?" she asked, nodding at Allie.
"Yeah, this is Allie. Allie, Kasey is the one who helped me with Beth's ring yesterday."
Kasey went in the back and came out a moment later, strategically putting the ring down under the perfect bright lights to capture the sparkle.
"Holy crap!" Allie said, much too loud. He chuckled.
"Your mom doesn't like that expression, Al."
"It fits," she said, shrugging. "This is perfect for her, by the way. Simple, elegant, not flashy. Perfect."
"Great….now I just have to plan the proposal. Any ideas?"
"Oh yes. I can absolutely help you with that."