Trigger warning. Grieving over a miscarriage*
"Honey, we are thinking of a small, simple wedding, right?" Elizabeth asked as they snuggled on the couch a week later.
"Whatever you want is fine with me."
"Okay, you know that's not a real answer, right?" she said, sitting up and looking at him.
"Why not?"
"Because you could want a huge, elaborate wedding in Fiji or something and I'd never know because you blew off my question."
"Elizabeth, come here, love."
She snuggled back into his arms and sighed.
"You're worried about Ivy, yes?"
"Of course I am." Her eyes filled with tears. Her heart broke to see her daughter struggling so much.
"How can I help?"
"I don't know," she admitted.
"Postpone the wedding?"
"Absolutely not. Luke, we are not postponing."
"Alright. Elope?"
"Okay."
"Really, Beth?"
"Yes? No. I don't know."
"How about I just hold you right here and kiss you and whisper that everything is going to be fine over and over as the fire keeps us cozy?"
"Perfect."
He gently hooked his finger under her chin and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. "Everything is going to be fine."
"Promise?"
"Yes. You know, as well as I do, that even when life seems hopeless, if we are patient, our hearts heal. Ivy's heart will heal and she will figure out how to move forward."
She softly placed her hand on his beard and smiled. "I love you with all my heart and soul, Lucas Bouchard."
He lowered his head and placed another kiss on her lips and another and another.
"Are you sure you don't want to elope?"
……
Ivy stood in the kitchen and listened. Uncle Lucas was so sweet to her mom. He loved her, adored her really. He was willing to do anything to help her feel better.
"Mom? Uncle Luke?" she said, hating to interrupt.
They sat up and looked back. Lucas held out his hand and Ivy walked over, sitting next to them on the couch.
"What's on your heart?" Elizabeth asked, bringing instant tears to Ivy's eyes.
Lucas wrapped his free arm around Ivy and kissed her hair. "You can tell us anything, honey."
"I'm…I'm scared to go tomorrow. I mean, I know seeing a therapist will ultimately help me but…it seems so hard to take that step."
"I know how that feels," Lucas admitted.
"You do?"
"Yes. When your dad passed, I struggled a lot. With depression, guilt, anger. You name it, I felt it. I didn't realize how deep I had fallen until a good friend made me see it."
"What did you do?"
"I went to therapy but the thing that helped me the most was saying goodbye and letting go. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done."
She leaned against his shoulder and sighed. "Can I ask…I mean if you don't want to tell me…if it's too private.."
She wiped her eyes and sat forward.
"Ivy, hang on. You want to know how I said goodbye?"
She nodded. He offered his hand and she took it, glad for his strength because she certainly didn't have any of her own. She felt very weak.
"I went to The Bluff. Sometimes your dad would take those of us on shift to The Bluff for a drink. Just one. Sometimes just he and I would go and just talk."
Lucas shifted and blinked a few times. "So I took two beers with me about 7 or 8 months after we lost him and I toasted him. I took both bottle caps off and drank mine. His sat on the tailgate. It felt as if we were having one last drink."
He wiped his eyes and shook his head. "As you can see, I still miss him. I still walk into my office, expecting he will be sitting there at the desk. But, I know that even though he's gone, life will be alright. I will be alright."
Ivy sobbed into his t-shirt for a long few minutes and then she admitted, "I don't know how to say goodbye to him. Oliver. I didn't have him long enough. I didn't try to be a mother but..I was. I was his mother and I want him back. I want my son."
Elizabeth moved to the other side of her daughter and they both held her as she grieved. Elizabeth was so grateful for Lucas Bouchard. She would tell him the next moment they had alone.
…..
Downtown Denver, Dr. Yost's office, the next day
Ivy stared out the window as she listened to the ticking of Dr. Florence Yost's clock on her desk.
"I don't know where to start," Ivy admitted.
"Start wherever you'd like. I'm here for you, dear."
"I guess at the beginning makes sense."
Florence nodded, pen poised.
Ivy took a deep breath and folded her hands.
"I'm the plain one. Quiet, serious. My twin sister is the opposite and dates lots of guys. Jokes around. She's the fun one. Its always been that way. So when Jared liked me and not Marley, I almost didn't believe it. He was, or is, adorable and sweet and he made me feel beautiful. So I went out on a date with him."
…..
Elizabeth walked into the fire station with a large box of chocolate chip cookies, enough for everyone.
"Ms. Grant! You brought cookies?"
"Yes, Jesse. Like chocolate chip?"
"Who doesn't?"
"Who brought cookies?" Joseph asked.
"Ms. Grant."
"Chocolate chip?"
So it went as she wandered from man to man and then a very pregnant Fiona.
"Look at you!" Elizabeth said with a smile. "How much longer?"
"Three weeks. I'm ready to meet him though," she said, rubbing her belly.
"Any names?"
"A few but we haven't nailed any down for sure yet."
"Sometimes you just need to see what they look like first."
"Beth?" Lucas said, walking toward her. "This is a surprise." He leaned down and kissed her. "Good to see you."
"I need to go, you two, but congratulations!"
"Thank you, Fiona."
Lucas waited for Fiona to leave and then he hugged Elizabeth. "Hi, love."
"Hello," she whispered. "Gosh, you look so sexy in this uniform." She touched his collar and rested her hands on his chest.
"Enough to make you want to elope?" he asked with a wink.
"Almost."
"What do I need to do to get you to agree? Unbutton a few buttons?"
"Funny. I was hoping you and I could go to lunch."
"Sure."
"And what night can we see each other? I'd like to bring dinner over."
"Well, sure, tomorrow night, but Van will be there too."
"Okay. Dinner for three tomorrow but I'd really like for you and I to plan the wedding. So we need to make sure we have time to do that."
"If we elope we won't need to plan," he teased.
"I'd really like to take some time together to decide things. Alright?"
He kissed her forehead and the tip of her nose. "Baby, you are so serious. What's on your heart?"
He used her words, Nathan's words. What a sweet man.
"You. Ivy. Everything. I'm feeling really unsettled and I just need you."
"I'm here."
"Not to eavesdrop, Chief, but I got this. Why don't you and Ms. Grant take that time?" Lieutenant Canfield offered. "Really."
"Alright. Thanks, Canfield."
"Think nothing of it."
Lucas headed upstairs to his office, grabbed his keys and came back down. "Ready, Beth?"
She nodded, on the verge of tears. "Yes."
Lucas took them straight to the coffee shop and then to The Bluff. They sat on his tailgate in the sun and cold and he put his arm around her. "Tell me what's going on."
"Yesterday…when you poured your heart out to Ivy…I felt this surge of immense love for you, Lucas. More than I ever thought possible. It was so very wonderful and overwhelming. So the first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank you for being vulnerable with her. She needed to hear every word of your story. So did I. It made me want to marry you right that moment."
He kissed her temple and smiled, resting his nose there. "I love you too, Beth. I'd marry you any moment you say. By the way, Canfield is an ordained minister…just throwing that out there."
She chuckled and turned her head to capture his warm lips with hers. "Second, as much as I want to take you up on that offer to elope, I also don't think its the right time. I need to finish the school year and I can't take time off for a honeymoon until June, like you planned."
He nodded. "It's only fourteen weeks until June 10th. I can be patient."
"Me too. Though its getting harder, if I'm honest."
"Very much so."
Lucas looked out at the surroundings. It was a pretty big area and would be amazingly beautiful in the summer. "What if we got married here?"
"At The Bluff?"
"Yes. This spot has meant so much to both of us. Over the years, it has become a place to decompress, to heal, to say goodbye, to have our first kiss, get engaged. Why not start our lives together right here?"
"Yeah. I agree. I think this spot is perfect for our wedding."
"So, as far as the ceremony, I think Canfield would love to do it. If you are good with that."
She nodded and sipped her coffee. "He's your brother. I definitely think that's appropriate."
"The only people I need to invite are the guys from the station and Van."
"What about your parents, Lucas? I know they live in London but they should be here. Plus I really need to meet them. FaceTime doesn't count."
"They won't come. Babe, they never agreed with my divorce and I don't think they will agree with me marrying anyone right now."
"That may be but you should invite them anyway. Let them make the choice instead of not even giving them one."
He sighed and sipped his coffee. He and his parents had not actually seen each other since Vannah was eight years old. They spoke maybe once a month and they just weren't supportive. They always thought his job was too dangerous, that he and Josie shouldn't have married, let alone divorced and now, knowing who Beth was, they didn't agree with that either. They, or mostly his mom, thought it was "entirely inappropriate."
"Lucas, what's on your heart?"
"We aren't close. My mom…she's always been judgemental and never makes an effort to see Vannah or me. I think my dad just goes along with her because its easier than disagreeing. They won't come. I honestly don't want them to."
She slipped her fingers between his and squeezed, making him turn his head toward her. "It's ultimately your decision but how is anything ever going to change unless you take the first step?"
"Beth…"
"That's all I'm going to say. In the meantime, I'd like my sisters and their family and my Dad to come." Her mom Grace had passed shortly before Nathan. It had torn her heart to shreds but she had gotten through that tough time too.
Just as they were climbing back in the truck, his phone rang. Speak of the devil…he thought.
"Why is she calling?" He sat for a moment staring at his phone. "Hello, Mom?"
"Lucas, dear, its your dad."
…..
Outskirts of Denver, Tim's apartment
Allie knocked on his door and waited. He opened the door a few moments later and smiled. "Hey, babe. This is a surprise. I thought you had class."
"They canceled. The teacher is sick. So I thought maybe I'd bring us lunch," she mentioned holding up a bag of fast food.
"Great, I'm starved. Come in."
She stayed quiet while they sat on the couch and opened the sack of fries and burgers.
"Are you worried about something?" Tim asked, noticing her demeanor.
"Not worried. I wondered if your offer to have me move in here with you is still open."
He put his burger down and smiled. "Of course it is! I've just been waiting for you to be ready."
"I'm ready. I honestly think this is a good step to take. To move us towards a future together."
"That's what I want, Al. To marry you. Yes, please move in here. With me."
"Great. So during spring break? That's only three weeks away. That will give me time to let Mom know and pack my stuff."
He cupped her cheeks in his hand and kissed her, barely able to calm his excitement. "Yes, this will be great."