Trigger warning-Struggles with grief over miscarriage*
May 31st, 11 days until the wedding
"Mmm…yes, this one, Mom," Ivy told her, using her fork to point to the Red Velvet with cream cheese frosting. "Oh my."
"I like the Lemon," Marley mentioned.
"Chocolate with raspberry filling," Vannah put in.
"Vanilla with peanut butter filling," Allie said.
"Girls, how is giving me four different favorites helping?"
They all giggled and shrugged, continuing to eat their cake samples.
"What do you want, Mom?" Marley asked.
"I like Tiramisu."
"Dad would like the Chocolate hazelnut," Vannah told them.
"So one layer Tiramisu and one Chocolate hazelnut," Elizabeth said, deciding. "Then maybe cupcakes with the flavors you all like."
Over the past almost three weeks, while Lucas has been in London, she and the girls, sometimes all and sometimes just a few of them, shopped for dresses and did food taste testing and took care of making sure Joseph could marry them and that they would be allowed to get married on The Bluff.
"I have news." Allie mentioned.
"What's that?" Elizabeth wondered.
"Tim proposed." She held up her left hand which now held the promise ring that had been on her right.
"Oh honey! Congratulations!" Elizabeth said, standing to hug her. Then all the girls did the same and that became the conversation for a bit.
Elizabeth's phone buzzed. "Luke? Hi, honey. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too."
"Any word on your flight?"
She felt someone step up behind her and lean down to kiss her cheek. Luke!
"You're here? Oh thank goodness."
He didn't hold back in kissing her, despite their audience.
"OOOOOOOOO," they all chanted, making Luke and Elizabeth laugh and pull apart.
'You hush, girls."
"Uncle Luke, come have some cake," Allie told him. "I need to get going. I'm meeting Tim for dinner."
"OOOOOO," the other three girls chanted again, making Allie turn red.
Allie gave Elizabeth a hug. "Love you, Mom."
"I love you too, Allie. Congratulations again."
"Thanks." She reached up and kissed Lucas' cheek and then left.
"Why are we congratulating Allie?" he whispered.
"Tim proposed."
"Seriously? Wow, thats…soon."
"Not really. They're not far behind us, hon," Elizabeth mentioned. "Time-wise."
He raised his eyebrows. He wasn't convinced the guy was ready but he wasn't his father. Just his chief.
Lucas walked over to Vannah and hugged her. "Hi, honey. I missed you."
"I missed you too," she said, almost on the verge of tears.
"What's wrong?" Van had been happy and smiling not two minutes before.
"Nothing," she said, brushing it off.
"Van, you can tell me. Anything at all."
"I know. Um…maybe…um can I talk to Elizabeth?"
He nodded. It made him feel weird. She had always told him anything. He'd taken her shopping for bras and tampons and all the girly stuff. Why couldn't she talk to him now?
Elizabeth squeezed his hand, almost asking permission. "Of course," he told her, watching them walk outside for a minute.
"What's going on, sweets?" she asked, putting her arm around her soon-to-be step-daughter's shoulders.
"I don't want to live with my Mom anymore. Please can I live with you and Dad? I promise I won't get in the way!"
"Oh, honey. Can I ask why you don't want to live there anymore?"
"She and her boyfriend are just…they got married and it feels like they forgot about me."
"Sweetie, I'm sure that's not true. Trust me, you are not easily forgettable plus, speaking as a mom, you can't forget about your child. That being said, you and your dad need to talk to your mom and her husband. I would love to have you with us, but I don't know the whole custody situation between your parents."
"Thank you for letting me come to help with wedding stuff. Mom and her boyfriend, husband whatever, just eloped. I didn't even get to go."
"Oh, honey. I'm so glad you are here."
"Thank you, Elizabeth."
"You're welcome. Now, once we are done here, let's go back to your dad's house and the three of us can talk, alright?"
"Okay."
…..
Ivy and Marley headed back to Elizabeth's to pack up the rest of Ivy's things. "How are you doing, Ive?"
"Pretty good. Ready for a new chapter."
"Me too. I'm going to tell Mom and Lucas about my wanting to be in the military tonight at dinner."
"That's awesome, Mar. I'm so proud of you."
"Let's just hope they are."
"Are you kidding? Of course they will be. You're choosing something important so you can help people."
"I know that tone. You made a choice too. To make yourself happy and maybe it turned out bad but, Ive…you are turning that tragedy into an amazing opportunity. A grief counselor? Who better than someone who knows first hand how hard it is to lose someone?"
"Thanks, Mar. I love you. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this."
Marley hugged her tight and kissed her cheek. "I love you back and I'll always be here for you."
"Except when you're overseas or something."
"Well, yes. Except then." Marley looked at her twin. She could feel that Ivy was holding back.
"What else?"
"I really miss Jared," she admitted. "I can't help it but I really do."
"Why is that a bad thing?"
"Because I don't want to feel anything. He is a good guy. He was a good boyfriend but when I have feelings, I feel too much. Then things happen."
"Do you love him, sis?"
"I don't know. I just know that I miss having him around. I miss talking to him everyday. Holding his hand. Now, we have the connection of Oliver and..its just a lot, you know?" She sat down on her bed and hugged her pillow. "Truthfully, since I friendzoned him, I'm not sure he'd give me another chance anyway."
"Are you ready to un-friendzone him?"
Ivy smiled. "Not a word, but I'm not sure."
"Well, can I be honest?"
"Please."
"If you're not sure you're ready, maybe just be his friend. Just talk to him and be together that way. Then maybe it can grow into more down the road."
"Yeah. You're definitely the smart twin."
"Stop. You are smart. Don't say you're not."
"Okay."
"I mean it. We are different people who want different things in life and will make different choices. That doesn't mean that one of us is less smart. Got it?"
Ivy nodded. She knew that her sister was right, but deep in her heart, she still blamed her poor or unwise choice for the death of her child. Right or wrong, she didn't know, but that was the feelings she had. She needed to keep seeing Dr. Yost for a while.
…..
Luke's house
"What's going on, honey?" Luke asked Vannah, pulling her closer as they sat on the couch.
"I want to live with you and Elizabeth," she mumbled.
"You do?"
"Yes. Please? You won't even know I'm there."
"Baby, listen to me, okay?"
"Yeah." She started crying into his shoulder so he just held her and rubbed her back.
"I want you here, more than anything. The only problem is the court."
"You and mom have shared custody…so what if I am here the amount that I'm there now? And then I just go visit her like I visit you?"
"Beth and I and you and your mom need to talk about that."
"She won't agree," Vannah told him. "I'm going to be stuck with her for another year until I go to college."
"Sweetie, let Beth and I talk to her first, before you react. You never know what might happen."
……
The next afternoon, Josie's house
"She wants to live with you?" Josie said, spinning the ring on her finger.
"Yes. She hasn't asked you?" Luke wondered.
"No. She hasn't."
"Because you are never here," Vannah said from the doorway.
"Sweetheart…"
"No, Mom. You are always out and I am stuck here alone. You got married and I wasn't there. You didn't even ask me or tell me! How do you think that made me feel?"
"Savannah…"
"Mom, at least Dad and Beth will include me in things. They are letting me help with the wedding and I'm a bridesmaid. They love me and I want to live with them."
"Van, our eloping…it was a spur of the moment thing. You were at your dad's and we just decided to do it."
"So you couldn't call and ask me to come?"
"Van, come here, baby," Lucas said, offering his hand. She took it and sat down.
"Dad, her husband…"
"Clark…"
"Clark doesn't even like me."
Josie sighed and leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. She didn't deny it, Lucas noticed.
"Jose?"
"Lucas, I'm okay with her splitting her time fifty fifty if you are."
He looked at Elizabeth who nodded. "So, I will file a motion with the court to change our schedule."
"You don't have to do that. The order is vague. It just says you get reasonable parenting time. We get to decide."
"Are you sure? Why don't I remember that?"
"You just signed it, Lucas. We sat with the lawyers and you barely looked at the papers."
Mostly because he was in his own world. Embarrassed that his marriage tanked. Mad at Josie, mad at himself. He would think about that later.
"So after Elizabeth and I get back from Ireland, we can start the new schedule, alright, Van?"
"We're going to Ireland?" Elizabeth asked. "No way!"
Three weeks in Ireland with her new husband. That sounded like paradise.
"Oops. Can you forget you heard that?"
"Unlikely," she said, slipping her hand in his and giving it a squeeze.
"Thanks, Daddy."
"And…"
"And Beth."
"Van…"
"And Mom. Thank you, Mom."
Josie nodded and stood up. "I'm not feeling well, if you'll excuse me." Then she walked away.
….
Josie sat on her and Clark's bed. She had definitely messed up this whole thing. Messed up in eloping without Vannah there. Messed up in telling Lucas about the less than strict court custody order since the divorce. Now, she was married to Clark, who she was not in love with, but was the father of her second child that would make its appearance in about five months.
At 44 years old, she didn't think she could get pregnant. Apparently she could.
"What is wrong with me?"
"Mom?" Vannah said from the doorway.
"Hi, baby. Come sit," she said, patting the bed. "I have something to tell you."
"Why did you ask what's wrong with you?"
"Well, see I make a lot of mistakes."
"Everyone does."
"Mine are pretty big. Like eloping."
Vannah didn't know what to say about that. Her mom thought it was a mistake? Isn't marriage something you're supposed to be happy about?
"And I'm…well…I'm pregnant."
"You are?"
"Yeah. I'm due in November."
"Wow."
"Is that why you married Clark?"
"Yeah. I didn't want my baby to have a different last name."
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know."
"Wow, Mom."
"See? I told you. Huge mistakes. I don't really blame you for wanting to leave. I don't deserve you."
"Don't say that, Mom. I still love you. I just…don't fit here anymore. Clark ignores me…which is fine but that means you do too."
"I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."
"I forgive you. Thank you for letting me live with Dad and Beth."
"You're welcome."
….
Dinner, Elizabeth's house
"So I have an announcement," Marley said, putting her fork down.
Everyone did the same and looked at her. Ivy squeezed Marley's hand to let her know she supported her.
"I've decided that after I get my associates degree in nursing, I'm going to enlist in the Army."
"And serve as a nurse?" Lucas prompted.
"Yes."
Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears. She was so proud. What amazing daughters she had.
"Oh, sweetheart!" Elizabeth said, standing and opening her arms. "I am so proud of you." After a moment, she opened her arms to Ivy too. "Both of you are amazing, strong, independent women. You're so smart and sweet. How did I get so blessed?"
Lucas watched three of the women that would be his family in about ten days. He was the blessed one.
"I'll take care of them," he whispered, as if assuring Nathan. "I promise."