Elizabeth sighed and rolled over for what felt like the hundredth time. In the moonlight, she could just barely make out the time on the clock: two o'clock in the morning. She huffed, squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself to go to sleep.
Sleep had eluded her thus far, her mind reeling as she recounted the evening. Everything had been so wonderful, the dinner, the company. Jack had been nothing but kind and caring to her and the children. So why had she pulled away when he tried to kiss her?
She had no problems holding his hand or even being hugged by him, often initiating those acts of affection herself. It never bothered her when he kissed her hand or her cheek. And she wanted to kiss him. But something inside her wouldn't let her take that step.
She turned to her other side and pulled the blankets up to her chin, staring at the stream of moonlight shining through the window. She wished she had her sister with her. Julie could help her make sense of her feelings, help her understand why she couldn't let herself move forward.
Finally, she drifted off, still just as confused and conflicted as she sank into the world of dreams.
Jack held her close, her cheek resting on his chest. She could feel the beating of his heart, the warmth of his body.
"It's such a nice night," he observed.
"Mm," she hummed in agreement.
His hands shifted, moving from her back to her arms and sliding up to her shoulders. He took a step back, just far enough that he could look into her eyes.
"Jack." She started to lean toward him.
"Elizabeth."
As he was closing the distance between them, she realized his voice was all wrong. When she met his eyes again, it was no longer Jack in front of her, but James. She tried to push him away, but he tightened his grip on her, one hand moving to her throat.
"Don't even think about running."
James's voice sent a shiver down her spine. She gasped for breath as his fingers tightened even more. He kissed her then, forcefully, slamming her back against the wall.
She clawed at his hands in an attempt to get them off of her throat, her body screaming for air.
She startled awake, breathing heavily. It took her a few moments to realize that it had been a dream. A dream rooted in real memories, but a dream nonetheless. She was alone, and James couldn't hurt her.
William burst into the room. "Mama? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Willie," she assured him. "I just had a bad dream."
He climbed up into the bed, snuggling into her side. "Was it about my dad? I have bad dreams about him, too."
"I'm so sorry, Willie." She wrapped her arms around him. "I wish you had a better dad."
"It's okay, mama." He shrugged. "I have you."
She kissed the top of his head. "I love you, Willie."
"Love you, mama."
They lay there in silence for a few minutes before Emma wandered in, having been frightened upon waking up and realizing William was no longer in their room. Elizabeth invited her into the bed, too, and she finally sank into a peaceful sleep, comforted by the soft breathing of her children surrounding her.
...
"Are you okay, Elizabeth?" Rosemary asked, looking up from her sewing machine. Her friend had been quiet all morning, and she was beginning to worry.
She hung another dress on the rack in front of her. "I'm fine, just a little tired. I didn't sleep well last night."
"Did Jack do something?" she questioned, knowing that Elizabeth had spent the evening at his house.
"No." She shook her head and sighed. "Jack is perfect, and I don't deserve him."
"Hey." Rosemary crossed the room, placing a hand on Elizabeth's back. "What's this all about?"
"I just…" she groaned. "I feel like I'll never be enough for him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to rebuild what James broke."
"Elizabeth, give yourself time. It's only been a few months since you got out of that situation. Those wounds won't heal overnight."
"I pushed him away last night," she whispered. "He wanted to kiss me, and I pushed him away. How can he ever forgive me?"
"Elizabeth…" Rosemary pulled her into a hug. "I can guarantee he doesn't see anything to forgive. He knows what you went through."
Tears filled her eyes. "He deserves so much more than what I can give him. He deserves someone whole, someone without fear."
"Love is a powerful thing." She stepped back, meeting her eyes to make sure she was listening. "Jack doesn't love you because of who you'll be someday, when the trauma of your past has dissipated. Jack loves you because of who you are right now."
Elizabeth shook her head again. "No. He doesn't love me. How can he love me? How can anyone?"
"Elizabeth. You are worthy. People care about you. And why would it be so terrible to let Jack love you? He's a good man. Just talk to him. Tell him about your fears. And you know you can always talk to me about anything. My door is always open."
"Thank you, Rosemary."
...
"I'm sorry," Jack blurted out when he met Elizabeth outside the schoolhouse that afternoon as they waited to pick up their children.
"You're sorry? I should be the one apologizing."
"I'm sorry for pushing things. I knew you weren't ready."
She shook her head. "Believe me, Jack. That wasn't pushing things."
"Still. I know better."
She reached over and took his hand. "We're okay, Jack."
"Good." A smile finally appeared on his face. "Because I have a favor to ask. I have to go out of town for a couple of days, so I was wondering if she could stay with you. If not, it's okay. I can see if she can stay with the Montgomerys or Abigail."
"She can stay with me. William and Emma will love having her over." She took a step closer to his side. "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow. I'm, uh, I'm meeting with the mother of Allie's brother."
"Oh." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, having expected his trip to be work-related.
"Allie still doesn't know about any of this, so please don't mention anything to her. I just want to make sure there are no ulterior motives here."
"I won't say a word."
"Mama! Mr. Mountie!" William called out as he ran down the steps, effectively ending the conversation.
"Hi, sweet boy." She dropped Jack's hand and crouched down to embrace her son.
Allie was right behind William, and she stepped into Jack's waiting arms. "Hi, Uncle Jack."
He kissed the top of her head. "Hi, Allie-girl."
"Mama, can I go play with Allie?"
"We're just going to play catch out in the field behind the café," Allie assured her.
"I suppose. Just don't go too far, and remember I'm just at the dress shop if you need me." She stood back up as she watched the children eagerly skip off toward Abigail's. "Well, it seems that William won't be wanting me to pick him up from school much longer," she joked.
Jack took her hand again, and they started off toward Main Street. "Oh, he'll still want you around."
"I hope so."
...
"Allie, I need to talk to you for a minute."
She slowly walked over to the kitchen, where Jack was waiting for her at the table. "Am I in trouble?"
"No, you're not in trouble."
She sank down into the chair across from him. "Okay…"
"So," he let out a breath, "you know we had to find your dad before I started the process to adopt you."
She nodded. "Did he change his mind? Does he want me back?" Her eyes started to fill with tears at the thought. "Please, don't let him take me."
"He's not trying to take you, Allie-girl. That's not what this is about." He cleared his throat. "After your dad left you and your mom, he met another woman, and she had a baby. You have a little brother."
"A brother?" She furrowed her brow. "I have a brother?"
"Yes. He's three years old, and his name is August. The reason I went out of town was to meet his mother, because she wants August to meet you."
Allie was quiet for a few moments as she thought. "I don't want to meet him."
"You don't?"
She shook her head. "If my dad thinks this boy is more important than me and mom, I don't want to meet him."
"Your dad hasn't ever met your brother. He left them, too."
"Oh." She fell silent once more.
"The choice is still up to you, Allie. You don't have to meet him if you don't want to."
"It's not fair."
He reached over to take her hand. "What isn't fair?"
"That people like my dad and William and Emma's dad hurt nice people."
"You're right, Allie-girl." He squeezed her hand. "It isn't fair."
She rounded the table, putting her arms around him. "I love you, Uncle Jack."
"I love you, Allie." He kissed her cheek.
"When can I meet my brother?"
He smiled. "I'll talk to his mother and see if they can come visit next week."
...
The young woman hesitantly stepped into the house, carrying her little boy on her hip.
"Well, this is home." Jack motioned around the small room. "You can have a seat if you'd like. I'm just going to find Allie."
He ascended the stairs, quietly calling Allie's name.
Elizabeth wandered in from the backyard, where she had been helping the children in the garden. She froze when she saw the unfamiliar woman sitting on Jack's sofa.
"Hello," she quietly greeted her.
"Oh. Hello." The woman seemed surprised by her presence. "Jack just went upstairs to look for Allie. I, uh, I thought Jack had mentioned that Allie's mother passed."
"She did. I'm, uh…" she trailed off, unsure of how to describe her relationship with Jack.
"This is Elizabeth," Jack spoke from the stairs. "She and I are courting. Elizabeth, this is Rachel and her son, August."
"It's nice to meet you." She gave her a slight nod before turning toward Jack. "Allie is in the backyard with William and Emma."
"I'll be right back." Jack smiled as he walked by Elizabeth, lightly brushing her arm.
Elizabeth awkwardly rocked on her heels, unsure of what to say to this woman.
"So, how long have you and Jack known each other?"
"Not long. I just moved to town a few months ago." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Allie befriended my children, so Jack and I were spending a lot of time together while they played."
"Oh."
Elizabeth couldn't quite place the emotion that crossed the woman's face. Disappointment? Jealousy? Upset?
"If you'll excuse me." Elizabeth turned, nearly running into Jack as he led Allie into the house.
"William and Emma are on their way in," he told her quietly.
"I think I'm going to take them home."
"Are you sure?" He put a hand on her arm. "You're welcome to stay here. We're just going to chat for a bit, and maybe go to the café for dinner."
"I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow."
He kissed her cheek. "Okay."
A few minutes later, Elizabeth and her children were gone, leaving Jack and Allie with their guests.
"He's my brother?" Allie whispered, looking over at the little boy in their living room.
Jack nodded. "That's right, sweetheart. Why don't you go say hi?"
She hesitated for a moment, until Rachel smiled at her. "Hi." She slowly approached. "I'm Allie."
"Buddy, can you tell Allie your name?" Rachel encouraged her son.
"August."
"I'm your sister." She took a seat in the nearest chair. "We have the same dad."
August glanced over at Jack.
"Oh, not him. That's my Uncle Jack. Although, I guess he is my dad now. He adopted me," she explained.
"Daddy left."
Allie sighed. "He left me and my mom, too."
...
"What do you think of your brother?" Jack asked Allie as he tucked her in that evening.
She shrugged. "He's pretty cute. But he's not as fun as William and Emma."
"Well, he is younger than they are." He chuckled. "Maybe tomorrow, you can show him how to fish."
"Can William and Emma come, too?"
"You don't want to spend time with just August?" He brushed the hair back from her face. "Get to know him a little better?"
"I don't know, Uncle Jack. Maybe I shouldn't have met him. It's weird."
"Well, they're only here for a couple more days, sweetheart." He adjusted her blankets. "Maybe you can try getting to know him again when he's a little bit older."
"Maybe. Uncle Jack?"
"Hm?"
She twisted the blanket in her hands. "Can I…I mean, since the adoption…can I call you dad?"
"Allie-girl." He blinked back tears. "I would love it if you wanted to call me dad."
She sprang up, wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you for choosing me."
He kissed her cheek. "The best decision of my life. I love you, Allie."
"I love you, dad."