Arc 1: The American Psycho [IV]

Chapter: What To Talk Over Drinks?

"CJ, do you know any assassins who could be targeting me?"

Two people chocked on their drinks almost simultaneously. To his right, Carl, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, mumbling a curse or two, and to his left Yor, the married woman with a child, grew flustered, and dabbed her lips with a handkerchief.

Hikigaya found Yor's reaction to be quite understandable. But he thought CJ was overreacting a bit. The man used his index finger to motion him to lower his head in his direction and started whispering furiously.

"Dude! You can't go talking about assassins like that." His eyes flicked across the woman sitting on his other side. "We got company. Do you want us to get thrown in prison or something?"

Hikigaya tried to ease his worries. "Relax. I won't get you in trouble. Besides, Yor is a married woman. If she reported you, she will find herself in a compromising position. What is a married woman doing, having drinks with two other men, neither of whom happen to be her husband."

CJ was still skeptical. "Cheating on your husband isn't exactly illegal."

"Neither is talking about 'rumours' surrounding some 'alleged' assassins in town." Hikigaya laid special emphasis on those two words and cracked a small smile, before whispering. "I'm trying to scare her off. I'm not into married women."

CJ chuckled. "You're missing out."

From behind him, the sound of glass being pulled across wood could be heard. Yor cleared her throat. "Did I hear correctly? Are you being targeted by assassins?"

Hikigaya turned around to face her, morphing his facial expressions to look dark and grave. Even the glass of whisky felt cold to touch. "What can I tell you Miss-"

"Missus." Yor corrected again. "Missus Forger."

Hikigaya blinked. He had never met a woman, who was about to cheat on her husband, who repeatedly reminded him of the fact that she was married. Was it some kind of weird fetish? But perhaps he was judging her too harshly. Maybe she wasn't a woman about to commit adultery. After all, it could be something as harmless as finding a cute guy in a bar, buying him a drink, talking to him a little, maybe partaking in a bit of casual flirting and then heading back home to her daily drudgery, married life with a husband and a kid.

"R-Right. Well, Mrs. Forger. I don't know what to tell you." He had to make up some kind of believable lie, because there was no way she would believe the actual truth. He had a hard time believing it himself. "Now don't laugh. But I think I'm being targeted by assassins in this town. I don't have any hard evidence, so the police won't take me seriously. But I'm telling the truth. I'm not crazy!"

"I believe you." Yor Forger replied, nodding her head a few times. She was really serious and believed his lie completely. He didn't think she would turn out to be so naïve and gullible. "Um, do you know why you are being targeted? Maybe you have some information which the assassin needs?"

Before he could say something, CJ bent forward, dragging his glass across the polished wooden surface of the bar and pointed out the obvious reason why Hikigaya could be targeted. "I don't know what you know about assassins, lady. But they don't go around killing people for information. That's more of a spy thing. Assassins kill because they are getting paid to take a sucker out." He patted his drinking buddy on the shoulder. "My friend over here probably pissed off the wrong kind of people."

Before he could defend himself, Yor took a swig off her whiskey, grew emboldened, slammed the glass down on the bar and let CJ have it. "It seems like you are the one you don't know anything about assassins. In 47BCE when Medjay Bayek of Siwa and his wife Aya of Alexandria founded The Hidden Ones, their mission was to work from the shadows to protect the people from oppression and injustice and to safeguard their free will."

CJ drank too and slammed the glass down harder, sloshing some of the alcohol within its glassy confines. Thankfully, none of the alcohol spilled over the bar. It would have added to his annoyance. "47BCE? Lady, we ain't interested in no history lesson."

Yor bent forward, not willing to give up. Her earrings jingled, he could see her nape, smell her perfume and her breasts were a huge problem. He tried to keep his attention focused on his drink. It was difficult. "The Assassin Brotherhood is a secret global peacekeeping organization dedicated to protecting humanity -"

Carl threw his hands up. "I give up!" He gave the woman a slow once over before sighing and shaking his head. "Lady, you're hot and everything, but I think you have that Japanese illness – what's it called again? Chunbyo?"

Hikigaya smiled. It's been a while since he had heard that word. "Chuunibyou." He corrected. "And I think she's too old to be suffering from that."

Yor Forger was an adult woman. More importantly she was a married woman with a child. He should have expected her to know the term. "Please don't make fun of me! I don't have chunibyo."

Hikigaya smiled. "Sorry about that. We were just teasing you. But you have to admit, you really had us going there with all that assassin talk. You seem to know your stuff too. Are you a fan?"

Without thinking, Yor blurted. "Yes!"

Hikigaya raised an eyebrow. "…Of assassinations?"

Yor hiccupped. It was really cute. She bide her time, taking a drink, letting the alcohol swirl into her mouth, play across her tongue, before swallowing it down her throat. She let out a satisfactory sigh, but when she looked back, she found Hikigaya staring back at her, unblinkingly. She didn't know what to do. "N-No. I mean – weren't you guys just discussing rumours?" She floundered. "I was feeling left out, so I wanted to join the conversation. I may not look it, but I know a few stories about assassins. Isn't that what normal people do while having a drink? Share stories and gossip."

"Ladies gossip." CJ remarked. "Guys shoot the shit."

Yor made a face. "I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with that particular expression."

Hikigaya smiled. "Ignore him." He swallowed a mouthful of whisky. When he brought the glass down and placed it on the counter, Yor's eyes were on him. "Hmm. That tasted a bit weird." He observed casually.

"Now that you mention it, mine tasted a bit funky too." CJ said from beside him.

Suddenly Yor found herself in the midst of all their undivided attention. She faltered and tried to play it off as nothing worth getting worried over, but she didn't have the act down right. As a result, she came off sounding a bit suspicious. "I-It's probably because we are drinking the good stuff."

CJ shrugged. "True that." He drank without a care in the world.

Hikigaya didn't say anything. He also left his drink sitting on the bar and refused to touch it.

This won't do, Yor thought.

Suddenly she had an idea.

"You know, since we were talking about assassins, have you heard of John Wick?"

Hikigaya shook his head and turned to Carl. The other man didn't have any clue either. Both of them turned and faced Yor and she thought it was a shame that neither of them knew anything about the infamous assassin.

"They call him Baba Yaga." Yor said with reverence.

Hikigaya gave her an odd look. "The Boogeyman?"

"Yes!" Yor nodded enthusiastically. "I heard he got that title by killing the legendary boogeyman."

Carl scoffed. "Lady, you're tripping. The boogeyman isn't real."

Yor grew angry. She got right into his personal space, dragging her whisky along for support. "The boogeyman is real!"

Carl wasn't letting up. "No, he ain't!" he yelled, slamming his drink on the bar.

Caught in the middle, Hikigaya decided to play peacemaker and employ a little bit of diplomacy. "Now, now, there's no need for things to get ugly -"

But neither of them was listening to him. They had also abandoned their respective drinks on the bar.

"Mr. Wick can kill you and Hikigaya-kun with a pencil!"

"So what? I know a pill-popping doctor who says he knows how to kill a dude with his thumb."

Okay. This is getting out of hand. The two of them were becoming a nuisance. He needed to reign in the situation.

"Guys, guys, calm down! Have a drink." Hikigaya suggested. "Seriously, you two are beginning to sound like a bunch of older brother and sister, fighting over whose younger sibling is the cutest. And before you say anything, my Komachi is the best sister in the world."

"No way! Yuri is the best. He likes my cooking." Yor stated.

Carl shook his head. "Nah. Kendl's the best. She's the brains of the family."

Dammit. Instead of lowering tensions, he had added fuel to the fire. Way to go Hachiman, you idiot. But there was no need to mentally chastise himself. He had a readymade solution. He just had to shift their attention elsewhere.

"Hey! I think our glasses got mixed up in the commotion." Hikigaya grabbed the glass closest to him. "I think this one is mine."

Carl had no idea how all the glasses got huddled together, but he didn't think too much of it. It must have happened while they were arguing. However, he decided to take advantage of the situation and picked the glass with the most amount of whiskey in it. Before anyone could stop him, he drank the alcohol and let out a satisfied sigh. "Now that's the good stuff!"

"I know right!" Hikigaya drank too.

For some reason, Yor Forger didn't share the same enthusiasm as the boys. She eyed her glass suspiciously, chiding herself for not paying closer attention to her drink. This could be a problem. And Hikigaya almost came too close to the truth. It actually made her a bit uneasy.

"Something wrong with your drink?"

Yor tried to act natural and said something she thought would be believable to a younger man. It actually was a bit embarrassing to say out loud. Her cheeks grew hot and red. "Um, I was just wondering, if our drinks got mixed up and I ended up drinking from your glass, then won't it be an indirect k-kiss?"

In response, Hikigaya said nothing. He looked her dead in the eye, held her gaze, brought the glass to his lips and drank to his heart's content. And Yor found herself trapped in his hypnotic stare. She couldn't look away. When he brought the glass down and licked his lips, letting out a small sigh, her ears caught the words he whispered back.

"I like how you taste, Mrs. Forger."

Yor blushed, her cheeks growing redder and without thinking she chugged down the rest of her whiskey in one go. After finishing her drink, she felt kinda warm and fuzzy, but she ignored the feeling. It was probably the alcohol working its way through her system. Nothing to worry about. She wasn't drunk. And she definitely wasn't drugged.

Hikigaya whispered something into CJ's ears which she missed. But it was probably nothing important, because the other man just gave him a smirk, ground his fist into his upper elbow as some sign of companionship between two male friends and said in a slightly louder voice. "You sly dog!"

And then as he was about to get up, CJ lost his balance and Hikigaya was on his feet, physically holding up the taller man and helping him sit down on a barstool. He looked wobbly and drunk.

"You have to excuse my friend." Hikigaya lied. "He's a lightweight."

CJ slurred. "Am not."

Hikigaya ignored him and finished up the rest of his drink. And then he hobbled on his feet and held onto the barstool for support. "Wow! My head is kinda spinning."

Finally.

Yor Forger decided to strike.

"I think you two had too much to drink." She said in an innocently sweet voice. "Why don't you two come upto my room and relax?"

Hikigaya had a smile on his face which she could only call 'lewd'. "I doubt there will be much relaxation involved."

Yor Forger placed a hand on his arm and guided him to the exit, deciding to take the elevator to her room. "Don't worry. I know how to give massages." She also grabbed CJ, bringing him along with them.

"Shit," CJ mumbled. "I knew you were into some kinky shit."

And just for speaking his mind, Carl's head was bumped against the elevator door twice.