Summary: Even with so many others found to be wearing her face, Arturia Caster adjusts to Novum Chaldea and the prospect of living with someone she truly cares about. Despite her own misgivings about meeting a version of herself who accepted her purpose to help others without hesitation, it's a new start. It's a choice she can make for herself now.
Note: This chapter is inspired by the feelings I felt at 3:20 am on the morning of the fourth of July, pulling Caster Arturia (or better known as "Castoria" to the FGO fanbase) on a ticket for the NA 5th anniversary, a few days after my maternal grandfather passed away in his sleep on June 30, 2022.
I'm still trying to process the pain, the numbing weight that's been on my heart since he passed, but Castoria's been a kind presence in making me feel human again. Funeral and all.
The main theme for this chapter is One Small Step from Dr. Stone, considering that this song started being a recent favorite of mine. And with everything that's been going on for me in real life, it's nice to come back to. When writing this, I also really liked ReoNa's Till The End, which was used in a Fate AMV I found on YouTube. Either song should serve as good listening to you, the reader.
Content warning, of course, for implied Lostbelt 6: Avalon Le Fae spoilers regarding Castoria's backstory. I didn't read all the translations, but I did see some things from Nakatani's From Lostbelt manga, which helped with this chapter's writing.
Please enjoy.
Day 39: Choices
Novum Chaldea was so bright despite the initial white interiors Arturia Caster found herself in during her Summoning. No matter where she looked, there was unspoken joy throughout the facility. So much warmth. So much life too, when she breathed in the air. Unbridled, pure, true life, even if a majority of the inhabitants were mere "concepts" preserved by the world to save itself in times of crisis.
"I call UNO!"
"Darn it, Billy! For that, add four cards to your hand! I'm changing it to blue!"
"Seriously?! I was about to win, dammit!"
"HAH! Your next drink is mine!"
Peeking in from afar at one of the many recreational facilities revealed Robin Hood, Billy the Kid, and Geronimo all playing a card game — "UNO," was what Vy said it was called? — at one of the tables inside as other Servants looked on from over their shoulders. The pile of cards in the center looked somewhat messy thanks to all the colors and numbers, but Arturia couldn't deny the unspoken glee that was present there with the men throwing down a card every turn. It was nice.
Should I join in? Arturia found her gaze drifting downwards to her clothes, noting the gloves and the Staff of Selection clasped between her palms. Ah, but these aren't casual clothes—
"Big Robin!"
Arturia paused once a pink blur indiscriminately ran past her, and she found her jaw close to falling to the floor once she could make out Vy's petite figure wrapping her arms around the green Archer in question. The pink she saw before ended up being the soft blouse accompanying the long yellow skirt that fanned Vy's legs as she kneeled to Robin's sitting height to hug him by his neck, the Chaldean Master choosing to settle into her beloved Archer's front as she continued the embrace.
Billy and Geronimo had both put down their hands once Robin chuckled at the new weight on his chest, putting down his own cards to start stroking Vy's long brown hair. "Little sparrow, what did I tell you about sudden tackle hugs? Really, what am I supposed to do with you…" left him in a huff of a breath, but it didn't sound like a protest to Arturia's ears as he wrapped an arm around her waist, shifting her so she could sit up and rest against him properly. "I guess you saw me and wanted to hug me, huh?"
The only answer he received to his questioning was a warm squeeze and a happy hum into his shoulder, causing Billy to start laughing from some kind of realization as Geronimo closed his eyes in visible content.
Heat, uncomfortable and prickly, started to climb up the back of Arturia's neck as she turned her head away from the metaphorical hearts starting to float out of the room.
Walking in there felt awkward now.
"Vy~! Mon petit chou!"
Later on in the day, Arturia could do nothing but watch again as Marie Antoinette, in her large white hat and ribbon sashes and all, ran up to the petite Master in question in one of Novum Chaldea's many hallways, a bright smile on her face. In contrast, Vy's answering grin seemed somewhat dim alongside her newly laundered black Winter Chaldean uniform, appearing tiny and shy despite more metaphorical hearts starting to float around in the air. What was with all the hearts? "Hi, Marie," Vy murmured softly once the Queen of France took her hands to squeeze, inclining her head in confusion. Her newly made braid brushed her neck as she added, "Did something happen?"
"Non non, Vy, nothing like that!" Marie swayed back and forth on her heels, gently swinging Vy along the way via her arms with the same bright smile. "I just wanted to see how you were doing! You've been quite busy with material farming these last few days, mon petit chou!"
Vy giggled, her smile turning more exasperated along the way. "Marie, you know that's how I've always been. Whether it's the original Chaldea or the Wandering Sea, there's always something to do. So I'll be fine."
For some reason, Arturia could sense the beginnings of a lie at the end of that statement.
"But that doesn't mean you need to work forever!" Still, Arturia could only watch in surprised wonder as the Queen of France pouted at their mutual Master, puffing her cheeks outwards while continuing to tug at Vy's hands. "As time calls for it, you need breaks, Vy! And I'm here to fetch you for one, else you'll start becoming like Amadeus and Sanson!"
"B—" Vy stumbled as Marie gave one more hard tug, blinking owlishly past her glasses starting to slide down the bridge of her nose. "Break? But I thought that wasn't for another hour or… so…" The Chaldean Master trailed off mid-thought as her head slowly turned in the opposite direction of her original destination, Arturia following her gaze at the same time to find an analog clock hanging on the nearby wall as the newest source of attention. The hour and minute hands on said clock clearly read an angry red "12:45 PM," and Vy eventually turned back to Marie with an expression bordering that of a kicked puppy. "Um. Am I allowed to say I forgot what time it was?"
Marie sighed, clicking her tongue in what Arturia could only categorize as a "ladylike" manner, tugging on Vy's hands enough to bring the sheepish young woman into a warm hug. "You work too hard, Master," was the careful murmur into Vy's hair, a gloved hand patting the top of her head. "Even I can see that much."
Vy sighed too, hiding what sounded like an embarrassed noise into Marie's shoulder while raising her arms to hug Marie back. "I don't know what else to do, Marie. Not with the world being the way it is. Especially with… with…"
"I know. I know, mon petit chou, you don't have to say it." Marie shook her head. "And that is why I have tea in my room, Master. You deserve some time off with some well-deserved drink and chocolate. I'll invite D'Eon and Medea so we can catch up. Lip too, if you'd like that."
Vy sighed again, shutting her eyes and hugging Marie a bit tighter. "…Okay. I can do that."
Arturia couldn't help but feel like she was intruding again, choosing to duck her head behind the wall and run off as quietly as she could once more.
"So this is where you were."
It took a moment for Arturia to realize the voice addressing her wasn't her own, and raising her head from her staff revealed a blue cape with white fur trim before her eyes landed on a mirror of her own green irises.
"King Arthur," Arturia whispered, shock sticking to the inside of her throat.
"Arturia Caster," Arturia Pendragon said back, mimicking her solemn tone with a dry smile as the golden crown on her head disappeared in soft sparkles of mana. "May I sit with you?"
Arturia blinked, glancing down at herself and the one seat she was able to find in the hallways of Novum Chaldea that wasn't taken up by anyone, before carefully considering.
It wouldn't hurt, right…?
"Go ahead." She scooted over to make the space for her Proper Human History counterpart, folding her hands in the lap of her dress as she did. Arturia Pendragon merely nodded her head courteously in return, pushing her mantle to the side so that she wouldn't sit on it while taking the offered space, mimicking Arturia Caster's own folded hands with her own gauntlet-bearing ones resting against the folds of her dress not concealed by her armor. "What brings you here?"
"A feeling," Arturia Pendragon said, tipping her head in Arturia Caster's direction. Whether or not she minded the passing glances other Servants and Chaldean staff were giving them in the hallway, she gave no visible indication of it. If Caster did not know any better, the air around Saber was far too quiet for anyone to think of disrupting it. "I was meaning to talk to you for a while now, to be frank."
"Me?" Arturia Caster couldn't stop herself from lurching back in her seat, the same uncomfortable and prickly heat from this morning starting to creep up her spine again. "A-About what?"
"About how you've been faring here, Caster." Arturia Pendragon's smile turned sympathetic with the words as a strand of golden blond hair brushed the corner of her lips with the next tilt of her head. "Our Master is not the only one who's noticed your unease with the other versions of 'us' here."
Just like that, the heat started to dissipate, a careful breath that she didn't need inevitably leaving Caster's lips. "You…" Caster ducked her head, averting her eyes from her Saber self from a mix of embarrassment and shame, "You noticed that?"
"I did," Saber murmured in the same sympathetic voice, a tinge of reminisce mixed in as her gauntlets clinked against each other. "It was hard not to when I went through the same thing myself when I was summoned two years ago. So there is no shame to be had with your current situation."
She knows how it feels? Caster felt her neck swivel without her wishing it to, that baneful feeling of hope making her eyes meet the bright emerald ones of King Arthur as her mouth opened. "How… How did you get used to it?"
"How did I—?" Arturia Pendragon pointed a finger at herself, this time being the one left blinking in confusion as Caster scooted closer.
"You've surely seen many things since coming here," Caster amended, a prickle of the same heat from before starting to climb up her cheeks as she ducked her head. "Other versions of… of you, the many enemies of Humanity, and what Chaldea has done before you. How did you…" Caster hesitated, a flash of hay and cold flying through her thoughts before she averted her eyes again. "How did you cope?"
How could you choose to fight when I don't know what's worth fighting for? When this world isn't— when the only human here isn't—
There were no Fairies in Chaldea, after all.
How did you find a purpose when I don't know where to go after my own has—?
Caster startled once a warm hand brushed the back of one of hers, and looking up revealed Saber staring at her with another sympathetic smile, one of her gauntlets already starting to fade into mana particles just like her crown at the start of it all. "You don't have to push yourself in asking," Arturia Pendragon whispered softly, her smile widening once she noticed she had Caster's attention. "Finding your own answer is something that comes to you, not me. I can only speak for myself in the end, and it was inevitably a hard journey. Even for King Arthur, an accomplishment like this could be done after coming here and making peace with so many others."
And myself, was left unsaid.
"But I—" Caster choked, feeling the back of her eyes start to burn as she shook her head. "I don't know how to speak for myself."
Not after that barn. Not after everything I saw in that Britain.
Saber hummed what sounded like a comforting note as her thumb gently stroked the back of Caster's knuckles through the sleeve of her dress. "That can happen with what I've seen. Being lost and uncertain, I mean." Caster was still wondering how Saber was so calm when she added, "And that is alright too."
"How can you…?"
To Caster's surprise, the former King Arthur smiled wider once eye contact was established again. If Caster didn't know any better, Arturia Pendragon appeared more like a normal woman than the head of the Knights of the Round Table. "In this case, I find it better to show you how I cope. Because there is more to life here than farming for materials and the fight for Humanity's salvation."
"You okay with this, Achi?"
A boot tapped the floor almost impatiently if not for the impromptu rhythm each step started to make. "Princess, I learned from old man Chiron how to fight. I can at least attempt to learn how to play guitar for you."
"Hehe, okay, I'm just making sure."
Achilles scoffed, keeping the end of what clearly looked like an acoustic guitar propped up on his knee as he blew a part of his fringe out of his face. "Princess."
Even from their faraway vantage point, neither Arturia could miss how soft Vy's smile looked. "Aye aye, Achi." She took a breath, clasping her hands together in front of her chest. "Thankie."
Caster glanced at Saber in confusion. "What is she doing—?"
"Shhh," was all the former King Arthur whispered, putting one bare pointer finger to her lips once Caster met her eyes. "Wait for it."
Achilles placed his right hand against the strings of the guitar and all it took was for him to strum once. Vy closed her eyes, opened her mouth, and sang.
"Nowhere to turn, nowhere to hide.
Between a rock and a hard place.
Someone to find,
I know that times are tough, just down and out,
Putting my faith in tomorrow!"
She's singing, rang in Arturia's mind from disbelief. Our Master is singing.
Vy's voice was a high-pitched one. A voice that, if in Fairy Britain, might've earned her plenty of ridicule and abuse alike. But it was steady, carrying the timbre of the beat Achilles was keeping up with the tapping of his foot and the steady playing of the guitar as if she had practiced many times over.
"I'm ready to go, but I don't know where to start,
Each and every road seems to be calling to me.
Pulled in every which way, so I made my own path—"
Achilles gently played another chord. Vy opened her eyes, revealing bright light behind those brown irises hidden behind glasses that Arturia had started associating with the Chaldean Master.
"A deep breath and my best foot forward—!
One small step from zero, I'm not afraid!
'Cause the world that we want is right here for us to make!
Just taking one small step to hero, I'll take the chance!
And when I do, I'll be thinking of the same thing I always do—"
If Arturia didn't know any better, it was as if Vy's left hand was extending in her direction, palm open and all, as she sang out proudly: "It's always you!"
Me, huh…
A soft sniffle was echoing in their hiding spot after a moment, and it took one second too long for Arturia to realize it was coming from her. Achilles thankfully didn't stop playing his song on the guitar, allowing Vy to continue her singing undisturbed, but Arturia could feel King Arthur's gaze turn to her in surprise as she shook her head. "Is that… Is that how—" Her voice turned watery. "Is that really all it takes?"
Is kindness like this really real?
Arturia Pendragon smiled again, and Arturia Caster didn't have to look up to know those emerald green eyes were sparkling. "Our Princess has been practicing that song for only a week, all for the purpose of surprising you," she said in lieu of an answer, a hum accentuating the end of her statement. "Just because you are a 'me' who may have come from a Lostbelt, she still wanted to welcome you. Let you see a better tomorrow. She already let me find mine, just through things like this."
For once in this place, it is.
Caster lurched back once Saber extended a hand towards her too. An open palm, thin callouses lining the edges of the skin, but still an olive branch if anything. The music continued on without a hint of distraction in the background, Vy's voice sounding sweeter once Arturia smiled.
"All the hope we have is right here in our hands,
The future's left unseen, just a blank page.
All the strength I need is right here in me—
Just need one small step to carry on!"
"We can find your purpose together here too, Arturia Caster. If you're fine supporting a clumsy human Master like our Princess," The armor on King Arthur faded to let Caster see the bright blue dress underneath. "I'll be happy to help."
Caster glanced between King Arthur's extended hand and the scene still playing out in the light of the studio ahead of her, finding her gaze lingering on the young brunette woman still singing her heart out to her best Rider's rhythm. Help, huh…?
"Just taking one more step from zero, I'm not afraid!
'Cause the world that we want is right here for us!
Just taking one small step to hero, I'll take the chance!
And when I do, I'll be thinking of the same thing I always do—!
It's always you!"
With that last verse in the air, Arturia Caster turned back to her other self with something itchy in the corner of her eyes as she extended her own hand in return. She wasn't sure if her grip was sweaty past her gloves, but she still took the hand offering her something precious without hesitation.
"If… If you're fine with me, King — no, Arturia. I'll do my best."
It felt like a promise for something truly better. This time, at least.