Arc 1: The American Psycho [X]
Chapter: Speak Like A Child.
It turned out to be a very short chase. Well, that was pretty much a given. In fact, he would be surprised if it was the other way around. He was twice her size and had much longer legs, which reduced the distance between him and his quarry in no time. But Anya Forger turned out to be a smart little kid. Just when he thought he was about to catch upto her, she took a hard right and slipped into the women's bathroom.
And now Hikigaya faced a bit of a conundrum. He gently rapped on the door a couple of times and spoke in a soft voice. "Anya-san, please come out. I promise you are not in trouble."
No answer.
He tried a different approach. "Anya-san, I'm not a bad guy. If I was a bad guy, I would have broken down this door and took you away kicking and screaming."
This got an immediate response. "No way! I'm in the girl's bathroom. Boys can't come into the girl's bathroom. It's against the rules!"
Ah, the sweet innocence of children. "Yeah, but if I was a bad guy, I wouldn't really care about rules. I would break them all the time. So a door wouldn't really stop me."
A sharp gasp was heard from the other side of the door. "Hikki is the worst!" Anya hissed.
Okay. Deep breaths. Calm down. You are dealing with a kid. Kids are known to be stupid. "Um, but Anya-san, I said 'if'. 'If!'" he repeated and put extra emphasis on the word. "If I was a bad guy, I would have done all those things. But clearly I'm not a bad guy, because I haven't broken down this door and I haven't stepped into the girl's bathroom. So, I am a good guy. Now can you please open the door and step out of the girl's bathroom."
But instead of doing what she was told, the kid asked another question. "Why would you break the door? I haven't locked it."
Kids and there never ending series of questions. He wanted to faceplam in exasperation. But no, this was kinda his own fault. Why did he tell her that he would break down the door? He had no intention of doing such a thing, because he already knew that she hadn't locked the door. Now that he thought about it, the only reason he said that he would break down the door to the women's bathroom, was for dramatic effect. Kids like that sort of thing, didn't they? Well, Anya Forger clearly didn't, because she decided to be all logical about it. Smart kid, he thought. But not smart enough to lock the door to the bathroom -!
"I have locked the door." Anya Forger said from the other side of the door.
And Hikigaya wanted to howl.
Who would have thought, after dealing with a gangsta and a professional assassin, his undoing would be at the hands of a six year old girl. But no, there was still some fight left in him. He wasn't about to give up just yet. All he had to do was attack the problem from a different angle.
"Okay. I wasn't gonna say this, but you are in big trouble, young lady." He spoke using a stern voice like one of those self entitled assholes. "I know your mother. We are good friends. She speaks quite fondly of you. But the first time you met me, Anya-san, you dropkicked me in the groin!" It actually pained him to talk about it, but he powered through. "Now that is the kind of behaviour which is completely unbecoming of a young girl like you. I can't stress this enough, but you don't dropkick your mother's friend in the groin. Ever! But you did and that is inexcusable. So, I demand an apology from you, young lady. Now!"
After a minute passed, he heard a small voice murmur something from the other side of the door. "…orry"
He smiled. "What was that? I didn't hear you." Almost there. Stick and carrot. "Why don't you open this door and apologize like a proper young lady." Carrot and stick. "And if I think you are really sorry about your actions, I will buy you an ice cream."
After a minute, the door was slowly opened and he was greeted to the sight of a little kid who was trying her best to look apologetic.
"Anya is sowwy."
Don't look into her eye.
Don't look into her eyes.
Don't look –
Oh no.
Hikigaya looked her in the eyes and the effect was immediate. The kid had such large green eyes. They were oval shaped with prominent eyelashes and she was looking up at him with those eyes like she had done some sort of unforgivable crime and –
*Sniff*
*Sniff*
*Whimper*
He made the kid cry.
He deserved to die.
Hikigaya went down on one knee and tried to console the kid. "Look kid, there's no need to cry. I'm not really angry at you. In fact, I was just pretending to be mad."
Anya stopped whimpering a bit. "Why?"
Well, I walked right into that one, he thought. Kids and their 'whys'. Even parents didn't have all the answers for their 'whys'. So, how in the world was he gonna come up with an answer for her 'whys'. Hm. Think. You are smart.
For some reason, he went with the truth. "Because, I wanted you to open the door."
Anya stopped sniffling. "You tricked me?"
Ouch. Kids can be so brutal. And they had no tact to speak of. But funnily enough, he didn't hear an accusation in her tone, so all was good. "Yes, I tricked you."
"Why?"
Again with the 'why'. Always with the 'why'. Now how was he gonna answer this question. Hmm. You can do this. You have an above average intelligence. Why not use it for a change.
This time he took a different approach. "Because it's what I do. I'm one of the world's leading deception experts."
Anya stopped sniffling altogether and gave in to her curiosity. "What is a deception expert?"
He smiled at her. "Well, there is a long, boring explanation. But basically, what I do is, I trick people into telling me the truth. For example: Anya-san, I know that your father isn't in the hotel. You just said that to scare me. Because, if your father was in the hotel, you would have run straight to him, instead of hiding in the girl's bathroom."
Now to see if his bluff worked.
"You are bluffing." Anya accused. "Papa is in the hotel. I saw him. But I got lost and forgot where he is. If Hikki wasn't chasing me like a psycho, Anya would have found papa and then you would be in big trouble."
The kid was repeating words and phrases she had heard – classic signs of a liar. But he could tell she was telling the truth about seeing her father in the hotel. But some of the words she used – 'bluffing', 'psycho' – it didn't make sense. In fact, he was pretty sure it defied logic.
"Where did you learn that word?" He asked.
"I learnt it from school." Forcing yourself to make an unnatural amount of eye contact. Another classic sign that you are lying. And just when he thought she was lying, Anya broke eye contact and looked down and started telling a tale. "Kota Izumi, one of my friends from school. He was telling me a story about how he punched a Pro Hero in the pee-pee and I told him, 'No way. Anya doesn't believe you.' So, he told me that he wasn't lying – I mean, he wasn't bluffing. He was telling the truth. And that's how Anya knows about that word."
Hikigaya smiled. Oh yeah, she was definitely lying. Not about her friend who punched a hero in the crotch. That bit was true. But she was lying about the part where she said that, that was where she learnt the word 'bluffing'. In fact, he was pretty sure, she didn't exactly know what the word 'bluffing' meant and was using it, interchangeably, with the word 'lying'.
However, that was not the reason why he was smiling. "But Anya-san, I didn't ask you where you learnt about that word." Her eyes widened as his smile grew bigger. "In fact, I didn't even mention the word 'bluffing'." He fixed her with a stare. "I just thought about it."
Anya Forger quickly broke under his stare.
*Sniff*
*Sniff*
Oh for the love of –
You make the kid cry.
You deserve to die.
"C'mon, kid. Don't cry. I won't tell your mom that you can read minds." Hikigaya rubbed the back of his neck, feeling rather awkward and uncomfortable. "Let's get you that ice cream I promised."
And just like that all of her tears vanished into thin air.
But she did let out a small sniffle or two.
"Anya also promises not to dropkick Hikki in the pee-pee anymore."
"…"
Kids, he thought, as the two of them walked hand-in-hand down the corridor, leading to one of the biggest restaurants the hotel has to offer, they are such strange creatures. And he wasn't just talking about the ones who could read his mind.