Summary: This is a day that never dawned, a night that never came to be. A grand carnival that occurred after the end of the Incineration of Humanity and before the Big Three became the Big Seven, all because everyone wanted a certain Master's attention.

Note: Let it be said that Fate/Grand Carnival gave me lots of conflicting emotions. So, to give myself a mental break from Elon Musk being weird with AI-writing-theft and bad guest reviews, here we go with this attempt at a comedic chapter.

The theme for this aptly named "Lost Day" is Grand Carnival's version of Super Affection, sung by the various seiyuu of the show.

Hope you all enjoy.

Lost Day 2: Grand Carnival

Over the usual hologram display in My Room, Da Vinci let out a sigh, closing her eyes with a shrug. "Even with the Incineration finished and over with, the number of Servants keeps increasing and increasing. Not to mention they keep asking for more resources. Their own rooms, exclusive mana batteries, even complaining about there being not enough magical energy. The lack of resources at Chaldea is becoming a serious problem."

On top of Vy's head, Fou wagged his tail while letting out a yawn, resulting in the brunette Master reaching up with one hand to gently pet the former Beast's ears. "I-I'm sorry for the trouble, Da Vinci-chan. I didn't realize we were still in a bind after Goetia went down." While scratching Fou's chin, Vy gave Da Vinci a contemplative look through the screen from her seat on her bed. "Is there a way to get more energy?"

"Not your fault, mia bella. But aside from massive contract cancellations or even finding a new Singularity, there isn't much at the moment that could make for a quick fix," Da Vinci deadpanned, shaking her head. "Can I deduct their upkeep costs from your salary instead?"

Just as Mash walked into the room to set down a mug of steaming hot cocoa on Vy's bedside table, Vy immediately raised her hand in the air to shout loudly, "YES PLEASE!"

Mash proceeded to spill one-third of her own matching teacup onto the floor.

Da Vinci opened her eyes. "...Huh?"

Keeping her hand up in the air, Vy nodded her head. "By all means, use my salary to handle the upkeep costs!"

Mash then nearly tripped over a nearby wire holding up the hologram display (shrieking a loud "SENPAI?!" along the way) in her attempt to clean up the spilled tea with some towels as Da Vinci's forehead wrinkled from her raised eyebrows. "…Vy," Da Vinci proceeded to say in a slow, careful voice barely toeing a whisper, "it's a lot of money."

"And that's okay!"

A clear drop of sweat could be seen sliding down Da Vinci's cheek from her hairline as she raised her hand to slowly rub at the back of her neck. "Cara mia," her voice came out somewhat pleading and disbelieving all at once, "there's more than 100 Servants contracted to Chaldea, myself and Holmes included. Adding all of that up, it's gonna total almost one-half of your whole paycheck!"

Vy slowly lowered her hand to tilt her head at Da Vinci instead, using her palm to keep Fou settled comfortably on top of her hair in the meantime as she blinked. "And all of those Servants, you and Holmes included, Da Vinci-chan, have been a big help to us with restoring Humanity and protecting it, right?"

"R-Right…"

"So why not use my paycheck to pay you all back?" Vy smiled while petting Fou, rocking back and forth against her bedsheets with a soft hum. "I already use 1/4th of it to support my family back home, and last I checked, I'm not in massive need of money. The Incineration had you give me a lot anyway, Da Vinci-chan, so leaving 1/4th over for me seems good enough when I couldn't have solved everything without you, Mash, and the other Servants." With a hum of what vaguely sounded like a mix of Solti ola i and tra la la la, Vy glanced in Mash's direction with a warm smile before redirecting herself back to meeting Da Vinci's gaze through the hologram screen. "You and my kouhai are part of my family too, Da Vinci-chan. So why not use my pay to help you both?"

"Senpai…" Mid-wipe of the tea, Mash had touched tears in her eyes. "You see us as family?"

Vy turned to Mash with a confused look. "Why wouldn't I see you as family, kouhai? You're my kouhai!"

Mash proceeded to sniffle, taking a handkerchief out of her pocket to wipe at her eyes and glasses. "Th-That kind of statement is far more effective when saying it in such an honest tone, Senpai…!"

Da Vinci blinked once, twice, thrice. Then, in the most blunt voice possible, she said loudly, "Marry me, Vy."

"Eh?"

The door to My Room proceeded to slide open with a loud hiss and a proclamation of, "I HEARD EVERYTHING!"

Mash proceeded to double-take at the new entry, tears quickly disappearing from her face. "E-Emperor Nero?!"

"Is this a competition for Vy's hand in marriage now?!" The red-dress-donning Saber raised a lacy hand up in the air to stop Vy and Mash from saying anything, a confident grin on her face. "Because of course our Master would want to love all of us by using half of her paycheck! But she only has two hands to hold one of us, so I volunteer to take her as my bride first, Da Vinci! I have experience being a bride myself, so leave it to me!"

"Wait," Vy was steadily turning pale as she was glancing between the speechless Mash and the disturbed Fou who hissed from his place sitting on top of her head, "who said I was going to marry anyone—?!"

A solid whish noise echoed in the air not even a second later, and Nero barely had time to duck out of the way of a red bolt as it proceeded to shoot through the room and lodge itself into the wall a few centimeters away from Da Vinci's hologram screen, making the Caster wince. Even then, with poison dripping down the bolt's shaft, visible smoke wafted off the arrow just before Nero was hit hard on the head from behind by a large golden Mesopotamian tome.

"Fool," Caster Gilgamesh said over his weapon, stepping to the side to make room for Robin Hood to come into My Room with an obvious glower. "How could you say such blasphemy when our Master has been taken for months now? In all your Roman grandeur, you couldn't see such obvious signs? Even my living self saw it all in my Uruk!"

"B-But, but…" Nero was getting teary-eyed as a sizable lump started to form on her scalp for all to see. The curly blond hair strand on her head wilted as she cried out in a higher pitched voice, "I'm the embodiment of Venus…!"

"And I'm motherfucking Robin Hood," Robin deadpanned, being careful to step around Mash to take Vy into a hug from behind. Fou jumped off of Vy's head in time for the Archer to press his cheek into Vy's hair, the same dark glower on his face as he added, "And the little sparrow's mine, you pompous Saber."

"Awwwww!" Nero and Da Vinci both said in unison.

"Why are you complaining too, Da Vinci?!" Robin snapped.

"I'm… so loved, huh." Vy blinked, looked up at the green Archer embracing her (who gave her a warm smile in return), and then closed her eyes while putting her hands together in front of her mouth to sigh. "…Putting aside whether I'm a trophy wife or not to the Servants, Robin and the other Grailed excluded," she breathed out in a complete deadpan, lowering her hands with a click of her tongue, "I think that solves our problem of resources at the moment, right, Da Vinci-chan?"

"I-It does, but mia bella…"

Caster Gilgamesh did nothing but blink as Nero jumped back into her previous state with vigor, the lump on top of her head fading with her shouting, "NO! THIS WILL NOT DO!" Mash winced just as Vy closed her eyes again from the whiplash, but Nero jumped up into the air with a raised pointer finger nonetheless. "I am still an emperor of Rome, Master! And if I cannot schedule a competition for your hand in marriage—" ("We're still going on with this?!" Mash cried out in the background just as Robin's glower turned menacing from atop the brightness of Vy's head) "—I can at least decide which one of us Servants will take your attention for one day! I must! As thanks for your paycheck!"

"…Eh?"

"…For the excuse of magical energy gathering, I find this a bit much…"

"IN THE NAME OF OLYMPIA, LET US ALL FIGHT FOR VY'S HAND!" Nero yelled out over the loudspeakers, drowning out Vy's tiny sigh. "IN HONOR OF HER SACRIFICING HER PAYCHECK FOR US!"

What answered Nero's call was a chorus of mixed voices and, most strangely, cat meows.

"At this point, Princess," Arturia said kindly, resting a comforting hand on Vy's shoulder from her seat in the viewing podiums of the newly crafted stadium, "at least you can rest from knowing it's not a large Singularity we have to solve. And the other Servants mean well in their intentions."

"Doesn't mean I like it," Robin groaned from his new, seemingly permanent perch of hugging Vy from behind and resting his chin on top of her head, leaving his designated seat empty to the point of Mash looking at it with concern. "What is it with everyone wanting some of the little sparrow's feathers?" Keeping Vy situated in his lap (much to her blushing embarrassment, it seemed), he leaned back in what was originally Vy's assigned chair with a huff. "Goddamn jealous types…"

"Don't sulk yourself into a hole, Archer, you're a jealous type too," Achilles piped up with a cheery laugh, reaching over to pat the green Archer's shoulder from his place next to Arturia, "At least you don't have to compete in this weird Olympics like the others and just watch with us instead! Plus they can handle the magical energy gathering!"

Without skipping a beat, Robin glanced at Achilles from past the fringe of his hair and the crown of Vy's head, giving him a look. "This coming from the man who loves the competition?"

To Robin's surprise, a dark glint came into Achilles' yellow eyes as he met Robin's gaze. "Watching lets me figure out which Servants I need to skewer for protecting our Princess first."

Without a moment's hesitation, Robin grinned back, raising one hand from Vy's shoulders to fist bump the Rider. "I like your tastes."

"Thanks!" It was as if the dark glint from before was never there if Achilles' cheery voice was any indication.

"As long as you two do not leave me out of any hunting, by all means, do what you deem is necessary," Arturia added in a matching tone of darkness. "There are some Servants that I need to keep an eye on personally…"

Both men glanced at each other before extending their fists out in Arturia's direction, and she happily raised a metal-gauntleted one of her own to bump theirs.

Vy sighed and leaned her head back into Robin's chest (much to the Archer's visible delight, if the soft peck he pressed into her hair was any indication), closing her eyes wryly. "With a growing hit list on the horizon, what am I supposed to do with you three? Even if I ask, I just can't stop you, huh…?"

All Grailed Servants shook their heads in unison.

"And… I guess I can't sit anywhere else right now, huh, Big Robin?"

With another kiss to her hair, Robin shook his head again. "Nope. I'd like it if you'd let me hold you for now."

"M-Muuu… I can't say 'no' to that…"

"I-I think this goes with the territory of you having spent so many Grails on all of them, Senpai," Mash said cordially, unable to stop herself from sweating somewhat at the golden aura all three Servants were giving off thanks to their group fist bump. "Three Level 100s in one Chaldea isn't exactly common with where we are, but it does explain part of the resource issue…"

"Which I did apologize to Da Vinci-chan about before, mind, I just still wish I could be able to Grail you too, kouhai," Vy bemoaned, opening one eye to take in the crowd of participants and cats down below in the new Olympia stadium. "There's more than one way of showing love… why does everyone down there have to fight over it in the first place?"

"Wh-Which I'm honored by, Senpai, but being a Demi-Servant means there's limits, even for me…" Mash trailed off with a sheepish laugh over Fou's fuzzy presence in her arms once the loudspeakers blared to life above them, shouting something about the upcoming events about to start. "But the Olympics? I understand your frustrations, Senpai, but isn't this—"

"Reckless? Yep." With a long-suffering sigh, Vy raised one hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Just to let you know, Mash: if something explodes, I'm giving Achi, Art-san, and Big Robin permission to go nuts."

"S-Senpai…" Mash did not miss how all three named Servants proceeded to take on a dangerous-looking spark in their eyes. "That might be dangerous."

"Believe me, I know. But it's for my own sanity at this rate, beloved kouhai."

No one but Mash flinched when the bear plush version of Orion proceeded to fly up into the air via an arrow to his head.

"Um, this is an announcement from the organizers," rang out over the loudspeakers after an aptly-themed dial tone. "For convenience, this event is restricted to Servants four-stars and above, so—"

Before ANY Cu Chulainn could gape, there was movement from the central viewing podium above. "I OBJECT! OBJECTION, MEUNIÈRE! ABSOLUTE OBJECTION!" was screamed into the mic there, causing all attention to go to it as Vy stood up in her seat to put a foot on the banisters keeping the podium closed off from the rest of the stadium. "THIS IS THE OLYMPICS, SO NO DISCRIMINATION IS ALLOWED! BESIDES, ALL SERVANTS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE, FOUR-STARS OR NOT! THE NUMBER OF STARS SHOULDN'T MATTER WHEN ALL CAN BE LOVED! SO SHUT IT!"

"B-But, Vy, that's a lot of people to juggle—"

"AND THE WORLD HAS MORE THAN 7 BILLION PEOPLE ON ITS SURFACE WITHOUT FALSE GODS DECIDING IT, MEUNIÈRE! I THINK WE CAN HANDLE MORE THAN 100 SERVANTS! SO IS THE OBJECTION SUSTAINED OR NOT?! IF IT ISN'T, I'M HEREBY WITHDRAWING MY PAYCHECK FOR CHALDEA'S USE!"

There was no answer after that, and with a moment's pause (marked by another oddly-timed dial tone), another voice crackled through the loudspeakers. "A-Ahem." A cough easily gave away Da Vinci as the newest operator behind the audio feed as there was some shuffling in the background. "Excuse the previous announcement then. The only Chaldean Master has spoken, so in honor of her paycheck, we'll have to expand the previously scheduled events for this Olympics. All Servants present can take a break in the nearby mess hall while we try to adjust for these new changes. Thank you!"

One crackling noise feed later signified the powering down of the loudspeakers, and then all was silent. All trap doors at that point were sealed up without any further hussle (although there were some complaining meows along the way) and all Cu Chulainns present breathed a sigh of relief.

Vy was then brought back into the viewing podiums by a green-gloved hand and that was that.

"…Lancer didn't die?" EMIYA said lowly under his breath.

Marie Antoinette put a hand on his shoulder to beam up at him. "Lancer didn't die!"

"Senpai, next up is the swimming competition!"

"I kinda wonder how this will go… nothing will explode in the pool water, kouhai, right?"

"Um. M-Maybe in the bubbles? Caster Gilles de Rais did help some with the preparation."

"…Oh dear."

With a sigh pressed into Vy's hair, Robin hugged her tighter to him as she squeaked. "Better that BB explode from octopus exposure over me," he muttered, nuzzling his cheek against her head. "That AI really needs to stop getting ahead of herself."

"Robin… that doesn't make me feel any better…"

"Sorry, little sparrow. But also not entirely sorry either."

"Remind me to kill that Bluebeard later, Master," Arturia said suddenly. "The fiend deserves it."

"A-Aye?"

No one but the Grailed let out an "Ah" in unison once a giant water plume appeared in the pool a second later, predictably from some kind of explosion underneath. (Some were guessing it was Nobunaga and Okita starting something again, others were assuming it was the many female swimsuit Servants trying to clamor for Vy's attention via their swimming techniques.) A purple eggplant of a former nurse AI went screaming along the way of the trailing sea behind her as she then left the stadium blasting off again to who knows where.

"…Princess, does that count as an explosion to let us go off?"

"…No."

"Tch."

"Achi, it was underwater and barely anyone got harmed outside of BB, so no!"

"…Do I have permission to use my Noble Phantasm on Caster Gilles, Princess?"

"In regards to that, yes!"

"Fencing… Art-san, you're not going to go in there?"

Over a tower of bentos Arturia somehow acquired in the viewing podiums, Arturia gave Vy a shake of her head. "Sir Gawain and the others have to work it out amongst themselves. They are my Knights of the Round Table, yes," she then tossed another mound of rice into her mouth via chopsticks, "but they could use some training."

"Quite cold coming from the King of Knights," Achilles shot wryly from around the bento box tower, grabbing a corn dog to snack on it. "You think your Round Table might lose?"

"Without sunlight? Most likely."

No one but Arturia let out the "Ah" of recognition this time as Chevalier d'Eon proceeded to toss Gawain into the air from her fencing technique in the center of the stadium, much to his shocked screaming of "THERE'S NO SUN IN HERE!?" Barely anyone noticed Caesar being tossed into the air at the same time thanks to Cleopatra's snakes in the meantime.

"Singing competition…? What are they gonna… sing…?" Vy proceeded to let out a quiet yawn, leaning back into Robin's chest as she rubbed one eye. "This has been going on for a while…"

"Aw, getting sleepy, little sparrow?" Robin raised one hand to gently pat the top of Vy's hair, rubbing it for a moment. "I can take you to your room if you're getting tired."

"But…" Vy yawned again, slowly shaking her head as she slumped against his chest. "Nero and Elizabeth might start singing… I gotta be around to make sure they don't accidentally cause bloody eardrums…"

"Which you can do when you're not tired, Princess," Achilles murmured, reaching over to slowly take Vy's glasses off her nose as Robin cradled her to his chest. "Let Archer take you to bed. We can keep everything under control, so don't worry about it."

A few moments of silence followed the Rider's input as Vy struggled to keep her eyes open, squinting at the Servants sitting around her before glancing in Mash's direction. "Will… will you be okay with the others, kouhai? I can call Da Vinci-chan over to help moderate…"

"I-I'll be alright, Senpai, you should get some rest when you're tired." Mash reached out to gently pat Vy's hand with a soft smile, shaking her head in response to the questioning look Vy was giving her. "I can call Da Vinci myself if I need to and Arturia-san and Achilles-san are just as capable if not more." With one more nudge to Vy's fingers, Mash smiled again. "This Olympics is a lot to watch, anyways."

"Okay…" Vy didn't protest when Arturia reached over to gently place rubber earplugs in her ears past her hair, slumping against Robin's chest as he cradled her close. "I'll…" her eyes flutter open and closed slowly, as if she's fighting just a little more. "I'll see you all later?"

"Of course, Senpai." Mash makes sure to meet Robin's gaze once Vy's eyes finally close, and Robin nods as he slowly stands up to take out his cloak. "Sleep well." Mash takes out the conveniently made Da Vinci stand-in mannequin (equipped with a matching wooden sign of "Do Not Disturb") to take Vy's empty seat as Robin covers both himself and their shared Master with the No Face May King, taking a breath as he disappears into the air.

It was time to face the music. Literally.

"Hello everyone! For this contest, I'm dedicating this new song for my Deerlet, sitting up there — HEY!" Of course it would be Elizabeth Bathory who would figure out the ruse first. The fact it took only 30 minutes was impressive to Mash as is. "Where's Deerlet?!"

Mash did her best to keep a straight face as all Servant (and cat) attention went up to their viewing podium, where Vy and Robin both were still absent thanks to the sleepy bout Vy had earlier. Mash could already guess Robin took her to My Room to take her daily nap, but it didn't stop Nero from screaming into her own mic, "VY IS GONE?!" It also didn't stop the Olympics having come to a total halt, with spotlights disappearing and all fanfare quieting down for what was becoming an incoming mob formation. "MASH!"

"Y-Yes?!" Mash yelled back.

"WHERE IS VY?!" Nero shrieked, panic clear in her expression as the Servants beneath her in the stadium continued to stir. "DID SHE LEAVE?!"

No matter how I answer, this is bad. Mash glanced at Arturia and Achilles, who had the courage to pull up their weapons. "SHE'S NOT IN DANGER!" Mash eventually filled in, grabbing the nearest mic to match Nero and Elizabeth's volume. "SHE JUST HAD TO GO SLEEP!"

"SLEEP?!" Nero's face fell at the same time crocodile tears started to show on Elizabeth's and both of them proceeded to cry out in unison, "WERE WE TOO BORING?!"

Okay, when was the stadium's AC powered down? "I-I don't believe Senpai ever saw you two as boring—"

Mash didn't get a chance to say anymore before the two idols were shrieking something along the lines of, "WE HAVE TO PROVE OURSELVES TO HER!" and not even Arturia powering Excalibur as a threat did any good because the Servant crowd that followed them merely plowed through the exit gates of the stadium, ignoring Arturia and Achilles entirely in the smoke cloud they created in the wake of the idols' outburst.

"...Did they just ignore us, Rider?" Arturia said after an adequate pause.

A tumbleweed flew across the empty stadium once Achilles deadpanned a loud, "Yep," popping the last "p" with exasperation. "I don't know if I should be impressed or offended."

With nothing else to say, Mash decided to send a mental apology in Robin's direction.

"WHERE IS VY?! WHERE IS MASTER?!" was starting to become a common saying by the time Diarmuid found Ereshkigal and Medea in the hallways of Chaldea's original Antarctic facility. Even louder shouts of "MASTER!" were permeating the hallways thanks to the widespread panic, and Diarmuid held back a sigh when facing his fellow senior-in-service Servants.

"Are they all still frantically searching?" he prodded them, and thankfully neither lady seemed apprehensive about talking with him, as they both met his gaze with their own exasperated looks.

"The fact that they're the ones panicking over Vy's absence says a lot about how much our Master really gives to us," Medea said flatly, shaking her head as Ereshkigal crossed her arms. "Normally, I would be worrying too, but not in this case."

"This case…?" Diarmuid shut his mouth once Ereshkigal stepped to the side and Medea waved her hand. The wall they were previously leaning against disappeared once Medea lowered her arm, revealing a familiar poppy flower drawing taped to an equally familiar door, and Diarmuid blinked. "Caster, did you—?"

"It is a precaution the old Doctor gave me before the Final Singularity," she said in lieu of an explanation, tossing her hood over her head while waving Diarmuid's inquiry off with another hand. "Just go in there if you want your answers, alright? Take Lancer with you — I'll put the disguise back on once you two enter."

Diarmuid glanced at Ereshkigal, who gave him a small smile before opening the door with a press of the nearby electronic control panel. "You were worried about the little flower too, weren't you?" she said, stepping inside while leaving enough space for Diarmuid to follow. "So come on in — there's a reason the disguise is in place."

Throwing caution to the wind, Diarmuid followed his fellow Lancer's instructions, doing his best to not flinch at the door closing behind him as he walked in. What waited inside the usual My Room was… well. It was cute.

"…I can see why Archer insisted on privately taking Vy out of the stadium," was all that left his lips at first, a smile gracing them a second later as the named Master made a sleepy noise. The sight before Diarmuid was nothing but "adorable," and not even Ereshkigal was immune to it if the pleased pink flush to her cheeks was any indication.

Sitting in front of them in the room was Vy dozing in her bed for what would've been her usual daily nap, but covered up in both the No Face May King and her usual blanket instead. The source of the Noble Phantasm comfort in Robin merely kept one arm on her waist, his legs intertwined together with hers as his upper arm served as an extra part of Vy's pillow. With his back facing the wall and Vy's head gently tucked into the space between his arm and neck, they clearly looked like a loving couple having fallen asleep after a long day.

"Now do you understand the necessity for the wall disguise?" Ereshkigal whispered softly.

Diarmuid nodded. Then, after a significant pause, he murmured, "Is there a way to get a picture of this?"

"Ask Caster for that — I'm already first on the waiting list."

For such a chaotic day in Finis Chaldea, it ended on a relatively good note with no facilities sliding into the snow tundras below from Noble Phantasm antics.